The Daughter Of Chaos

I found it. Wait, let me rephrase that: I found the answer to Every. Single. One of my problems. A book that had potions to turn you into another species? This could be everything I ever wanted and more. I would finally be normal, I would finally be accepted, everypony would stop judging me, I could finally be myself and no pony would ever give a flying feather about it for the rest of their lives! Instead of placing the book back on the shelf, I carried it with me to the nearest table and I opened the book up.

“Let’s see what you can do for me, potion book,” I said to myself as I opened the book to the table of contents. “Hm, Hippogriff potion, yeah no. Dragon potion, next, please. Ahha! Here we are, Earth Pony potion.” I then flipped to that page in the book as it showed a very simple recipe for this potion. “Ok, one string of DNA, one tear of pure sadness, and finally, one small cup of water then one good stir to mix it all up,” I said as I read the ingredients. It was so simple that I could get all of the ingredients right now.

“I’m finally going to be normal for once!” I said as I plucked a string of my mane and put it into a nearby cup. “Wait, do I want to do this?” I asked myself as I was thinking of a sad memory I could use to get a tear. “You may not accept yourself but your parents and your friends do! Do you want to give that up just so that you can accept yourself when everypony else already does?” I kept asking myself these questions to myself as more of them came, the more I started to feel sad.

“Rosie, is this what you want?” I heard the same question but this time, it was in my mother’s voice. I looked around, seeing if some creature had noticed me, to which no creature even saw me.

“Did I want this?” Was another question that came into my brain a few seconds later. Yes, yes I wanted this. I wanted to stop being a freak, I wanted to be just like everypony else for a change. I could be myself, I could do whatever I wanted, I could finally be the pony I wanted to be and no pony would ever have a reason to ever judge me again for as long as I live! I’m finally up on cloud nine and I’m not coming down! Still, though, these thoughts made me start to water up as I felt a single, lonely tear start to roll down my cheek as I caught it with my hoof.

I hesitated to drop it into the cup, I was still holding on to these thoughts, worrying if I was making the right decision. There was no going back this time. There was no known antidote that I thought I needed to worry about but still, even after I thought these thoughts, I was holding on…until I wasn’t. I let myself go as I poured in some water, and then I started to stir the potion as it became a bright green liquid. “This is what I need to do, for me,” I said to myself as I picked up the cup, took a deep breath…………………..and drank the whole thing as fast as I could.

For a few seconds, nothing happened. Nothing changed about me physically or emotionally. Did the potion…not work? Impossible. It had to work! I needed this to work! After a few seconds, however, then….it happened. My eyes were closed throughout what I think was the transformation as it was, not one of the worst, the worst physical pain I’ve ever been through in my entire life. I fully don’t remember much about what happened at that moment, it’s probably for the best that I don’t remember it completely anyway.

I remember screaming, I remember I was in complete agony, I remember hearing some other ponies rushing towards me, trying what they could do to help but the one thing I can’t forget about that moment was hearing my parents voices. To this day, I still don’t know how they got there so quickly. Maybe my Dad sensed it somehow, maybe Mom had a feeling, I can’t be sure. What I am sure of was that I was knocked out because of this potion, I remember I collapsed onto the floor, not knowing what I had just done to myself as everything went black.

. . .

Like my nightmare from last night, the one where my fears multiplied by a thousand, I was in a dark room. I couldn't tell where there was a wall, or where a wall would end and another one would begin. There was no pony in the room beside me as I was all alone, maybe this dream and the real world weren’t so different in the end, but I was feeling the same emotions as I did a few moments ago.

“Hello?” I asked as my voice echoed through the room just as something happened.

“Oh goodie, you're finally awake.” I heard a voice say from…somewhere in this dark room.

“Who….who’s…there?” I fearfully asked, my fear visible between my words.

“You.” The voice said as what appeared to be a pony came into my ray of vision.

“Who…..are….you…..?” I asked as I was able to see this pony more clearly…or I should say I was able to see myself more clearly.

“WHO AM I? Why I’m none other than you freak.” My other self said as I took a few steps back.

“Wh…at? H….How?” I asked, not being able to say a single word or sentence.

“Well, I’m not you, you. I’m just a figment of your inner thoughts that you’ve built up over your life but mostly the past few days.” My inner thoughts said with a visible chuckle in…her…or their voice. I can’t tell anymore.

“So…where am I?” I asked as I feared that I already knew the answer.

“Why, you’re too slow to figure it out for yourself. A freak like you would know that you’re in your mind. That’s why it’s so…empty and…alone here.” My inner thoughts said in a very annoying voice.

I tried to say something…anything in response…but I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t even tell if this was real or not. I felt real, everything looked real, my inner thoughts looked real…but was any of this real? Why would my inner thoughts be doing this? I had so many questions…and yet, I had a feeling that I knew part of the answer all along.

“What’s the matter? Too scared to talk? Want to shy away and hide away from other ponies and creatures? We really are the daughters of that shy, sweet, and cowardly Stuttershy.” My thoughts said as they let out a very confident laugh.

Upon hearing this, I don’t know what came over me, or what came out of my mouth but I just let my thoughts out in one fell swoop.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

“Wow, Fluttershy Jr is standing up for herself. I am surprised.” My inner thoughts said with a sprinkle of surprise in her voice. Just then, she raised her hoof, and a split second later, I was trapped inside some kind of cage.

“What..what just happened? What did you do?” I exclaimed to my inner thoughts.

“You do forget that this is your mind right? I’m in control here and you're just a little weakling, not a big surprise though. It’s not like you’ve ever not been one, am I right?” My inner thoughts then laughed until they let out a cough as she then started to trot away and stopped.

“Why…why are you doing this?” I asked as that question was the only thing I could think of to ask myself, though I feared that I already knew the answer.

“I suppose you should know, I can do everything you can, but better, so I think it’s time I keep my true self away and let my fears take the wheel from now on.” My inner self then laughed as she started to trot away.

“I’m a loser in the real world and I’m a loser in my mind,” I said to myself as something came across me.

This was my mind, right? If my inner thoughts could control this place, maybe I could do the same…but how? I took a deep breath and tried my best to break through the iron cage but it was to no avail. I was still trapped. I then felt something in my eye, like I was going to cry again. I then lifted my hoof to my face, rubbing my eyes when I saw some sort of dent in the bars. I looked over and one of the bars in the cell had moved, right when I moved my hoof.

“Wait, that’s it!” I exclaimed. I then took a deep breath, cleared my thoughts, only thinking about escaping this cell, and moved my hooves. Instantly, the bars started to move to my will as I bent them in a way that created a hole just big enough for me to fit through. I then climbed out of the said hole and escaped, for a few seconds.

“I should have known you would find your way out of there.” My inner thoughts then appeared in front of me, with a very angry look on her face.

“You can’t keep me here forever,” I said with what I think was confidence in my voice, something that I’d rarely had before.

“Actually, I CAN.” My inner thoughts yelled as she then fired a laser at me that I didn’t see…until it was too late.

…?