Tempest Tossed

The two immortals stare. "You stricken dumb?"
I ask. They clear their throats, and Discord sighs:
"Existence isn't quite a 'zero-sum.'

"The energy of life is not a prize
To win or lose. I may have called it 'trade,'
But no, it's not exchanged like extra fries."

"Except," Celestia replies, "you made
A deal with Luna, tore away the past
To help the debt that Applejack surveyed.

"Whatever happened there has grown, amassed
A solid weight like none I've ever felt."
She licks her lips. "Or tasted. Such a blast!"

A shiver shifts my spine. I shift it back.
"Accept it, please: another tasty snack."

"I won't." The words are quiet, almost melt
Against my ear. They fall from Discord's snout.
"I won't approve the cards this nag has dealt."

"Approve or not"—I give his leg a clout—
"You slice me open! Squeamishness away!
Prepare my magic guts, and suck 'em out!"

"The odds," Celestia responds, "allay
The fear the spell will simply kill her dead.
If not alive, her future hopes decay,

"The very things we're dealing with. Instead,
Perhaps a paradox will swirl, surround,
And prop her up. That ought to soothe your dread."

"Again," I say, "it matters not at all
What Discord wants. I'm ready: stop the stall!"

He gives a groan like ponies lost and drowned
And slashes talons, rips the shadowed air.
I bloom with pain, collapse upon the ground.

Incisions seem to sprout from hoof and hair;
Exploding daggers shatter, split my hide.
My worst collisions simply don't compare.

But still, I hear Celestia inside:
"Your guarantee's accepted, floods beyond
Required lengths, completely qualified.

"You're halfway home and strengthening the bond
In ways I can't condone but do admire.
You'll find yourself the surest magic wand."

Then darkness smacks me sideways, fast and hard;
Engulfed in weariness, I'm feeling marred.

Aware, I catch a light, a distant fire,
Diffuse like fog has filled the space between
Itself and me. I blink. My final pyre?

But blinking cracks my eyelids. Unforeseen:
I guess the things were closed. But now the light
Improves and sharpens, clears away the screen

To show me Discord squatted, face a fright,
A mess of matted hair and crackling eyes,
Beside me underneath that starless night.

"Alive," I croak, "unless these pains're lies."
I roll a little, not prepared to stand,
And Discord cheers: "I knew you'd soon arise!"

"Hooray." This second cheering quietly
From Twilight Sparkle smiling down at me...