Farewell Letters

At night, glancing at the moon, I wonder

What do you even see in me?

That bright smile
That undying heat
That unyielding determination

You throw it all at me

How do you expect me to not stumble and fall?
How do you expect my wilted and torn heart to respond?
How do you expect me to avoid the toxic sap reaching for my brain?

Yet sitting here

In the moonlight

With only your sleeping charge as company

I crave it even more.

I don't deserve it

And I could never ask you for it

But basking in your radiance?

That which you deem I may have?

I will take it fully
I will hug it tighter than anything
I will grow myself closer to your warmth.

And then

Maybe one day

I will blossom.

At sunset, staring at the crimson sky, I wonder

Did you mean to steal it?
Did you set out to enrapture me?
Did you intend to steal the center of my domain?

The answer will remain out of my reach

Just like the colours of the sky

When did I become a coward?

My pinions are meant for flight

Yet with your companion by my side we are grounded

She does not know either

But we both miss you.

But I remember

Every time I walk these empty halls
Every evening as I stare at the horizon
Every instance someone asks for my hoof

Your smiling face greets me

And all those times

When you helped me where I struggled
When you danced with me
When you sung for me

And stole that which I didn't think could be taken

There will be others

Youth is on my side

But I wonder

Will they be like you?
Will they make me smile the way you did?
Will they make me flutter so hard I forget to flap my wings?

I hope they will

But even more

I hope we meet again

Even if I dare not speak

Of what goes on in my domain.

At noon, shying my eyes away from the sun, I wonder

When was the last time I looked you straight in eyes?

I've grown afraid
I've grown complacent
I've grown another failure

When was the last time I retreated up here

To stare at my mirror image

And truly reflect upon my actions?

Too long

The sight unnerves me

For everything beneath you

Falls upon my shoulders.

I'm sick of it

And I had hoped

So desperately even

That you would be different
That you would fill our lives with joy
That you would see me the way others can't

And we were so close

Yet achieving that now

Is more distant than the moon

Maybe this is all I deserve?