“Twilight get more nails!” Rarity yelled as she held a wooden plank against the door.

“I’m trying! These office supplies don't have any!” Twilight called out as she frantically looked for more nails.

With the massive success of Fallout 5 and its DLC Wrath of the Aztecs it was time to think about releasing Elder Scrolls VI: Hammerfell.

The problem was that Sir Todd Howard kept trying to break down the door and convince them to use their magic game engine doodad to make the Super Special Awesome Chocolaty Fudge Edition of Skyrim.

“Quickly! Order more off Amazon!” Rarity said.

“No! They destroy small businesses and I don’t like how their CEO’s spaceships make me drool” Twilight protested.

“May We start playing the game Princess Sparkle?” Luna asked unbothered as her chief advisor attempted to kick down the door.

“Erm, of course Princess, here it is” Twilight agreed as she inserted the disk into the console because she didn’t trust purely digital games.

Before the logo screen could finish a chainsaw broke through the barricades and Todd Howard, his eyes filled with madness behind the safety goggles he was wearing.

“Right now as I was saying before you locked me out. I know if we re-release Skyrim with updated graphics, more customisation options and at least ten new armour items we could completely revolutionise what players know about RPGs” Todd argued.

“Todd we aren’t re-releasing Skyrim!” Twilight said defiantly, standing alone between her and Rarity’s work and the dreamer.

This was due Rarity having to fish splinters out her otherwise perfect mane.

“You don’t get Twilight, we could take Skyrim to its maximum potential. Twice as much definition, four times as much realism, horse armour Twilight. HORSE. ARMOUR” Todd continued as he discarded the chainsaw.

“Princess do something, you're his boss!” Twilight pleaded.

“Tell me more about these new clothes items” Luna requested.

Things were looking dire.

Luna was being seduced by the power of the dark side. If this wasn’t stopped soon, Hammerfell will never see the light of day.

She had to think fast, she had to break the power of Skyrim.

But how?

“Well, first we’ll bring in scraped clothing items that didn’t make it into the first release. I’ve got at least three flash drives worth so we’re set. All that must be done is update the game to the new system and-“ Todd was explaining before being interrupted.

“Hey Todd!” Twilight called out.

Turning his attention to the purple pony princess Todd’s eyes, first filled with madness, were now filled with fear.

Held in her telekinetic grasp, Twilight possessed a copy of Skyrim and a lighter.

“Is- is that an original edition Skyrim disk?” He stuttered.

“This is for your own good Todd” Twilight said as she lit the lighter.

“Noooooooooooooooooooo!” Todd screeched, his voice becoming demonic as the flame began to spread over the box.

Watching the plastic melt and the disk within burn away Todd began to violently shake about, falling to his knees as a cloud of black smoke poured out his mouth.

Collapsing to the ground, Todd fell unconscious.

Taking form, the black cloud grew a pair of deep green eyes and a burning red horn.

“Sombra!?” Luna gasped.

“Sombra” Twilight confirmed, glaring at the former tyrant of the Crystal Empire.

Letting out a vile laugh, Sombra took form over Todd’s body.

“Yes yes you’ve figured it out. I survived our last battle, but I needed a new way to take back the Empire. So I tore open a portal through space, possessing the body of this human. From there I created a game so popular I could milk it indefinitely, then once the prissy pink pretender to my throne put the Empires crystal mines on the stock market I began secretly buying back my monopoly one share at a time. But this planet’s economy is fucked, their money is only valuable because the government says it is. I need billions of dollars to buy millions in stocks on the Equestrian exchange” Sombra explained his evil plan.

“So thou art the reason ES6 took forever!” Luna accused Sombra, pointing her hoof at him in an accusing manner.

“What? Oh no, this company is working on way too many projects at once and don’t have nearly enough staff to pump them all out at a steady rate like Ubisoft or other AAA companies” Sombra explained.

“Oh, well We suppose that We owe you an apology” Luna back-pedalled.

“Although I’ve secretly been controlling them for a decade that’s why if you want to play Assassin's Creed Shadows you need to pay 120 bucks for the Moist Edition” Sombra added.

“You fiend! Face the wrath of the Princess of Gamers!” Luna called out in the Royal Canterlot Voice, ready to recreate all the finishing moves she learnt from playing Space Marine II on the dark unicorn.

Firing off a powerful blast of pure magic, Luna was unprepared for the counter strike.

Turning into smoke to avoid the attack, Sombra reformed behind the Princess of the Night and sealed her in a bubble of dark magic.

“What!? How!?” Luna called out, her voice slightly muffled by the bubble.

“In Pokémon terms? Princess types are weak against Villain types” Sombra explained, probably secretly owning Nintendo as well.

With the explanation of who Celestia is about as useful as a wet paper towel against most villains having been said, Twilight acted quickly.

Pulling the game console containing Elder Scrolls VI away from Sombra she stood her ground, even as the tyrant closed the distance between them.

“There’s no need to fight Twilight, give me Elder Scrolls VI, let me make a Legendary, Special, GOTY and Anniversary Edition of it so I can milk its popularity for another fifteen years. Hell, if we add a multiplayer mode and paid mods we could milk it for at least twenty five years! We can be rich and powerful, we could rule Equestria together!” Sombra offered.

“I’ll never join you! Why would you even think I would join you!?” Twilight scowled.

“I can rut for over an hour straight and I stole some of Celestia and Luna’s foal photos after I turned evil. Join me and you may have both” Sombra offered.

A moment of silence passed over the room, broken only by the sound of Luna trying to get out of her bubble.

“Princeeeeeees! I’m being tempted!” Twilight whined as her cheeks went a deep shade of red.

“Resist Twilight! He’s a terrible romantic partner, he always tries to split the bill!” Luna warned.

Her magic wouldn’t work on Sombra and her friends were who knows where. Twilight had to think fast.

The fate of millions of nerds laid in her hooves.

Without a second thought she threw the console at Sombra. Unprepared for it his eyes went wide as it smashed into his muzzle, crushing his nose before falling to the floor with a thud.

“Ow! (Sucks air in through his teeth) did you just throw a PlayStation 5 Pro at me?” Sombra hissed as he rubbed his broken nose.

“Yeah, I guess?” Twilight replied.

Summoning an evil first aid kit, Sombra tended to his bloody nose.

“You know what? Forget this place, I’m going to go possess the CEO of Apple again. Hope humanity likes paying fifteen hundred dollars for a phone that costs nine bucks to make” Sombra snorted before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

“Twilight!” The rest of the Mane Six arrived just moments after they could have been useful.

“What happened to Todd Howard?” Rainbow asked as the former CEO was drooling over the floor in a semi-coma like state.

“Sombra survived the Crystal Heart and has been possessing Todd for years. I’ll have to call Cadence and warn her that he’s trying to buy the Empire out from under her” Twilight explained.

With the shock of Sombra’s return setting in, the Mane Six figured out how to get Luna out of the bubble.

And by figured out I mean Pinkie popped it with a needle.

“What if the royal PS5? Is it still functional?” Luna asked.

Picking up the dented, now blood stained PS5 Pro, Twilight tried plugging it in to see if it still worked.

“Huh, the loading screen seems to be going faster now” Twilight mused as the dented console seemed to be working better then before.

“Guuuuuah!” Todd groaned as he got back to his feet “what happened?”

“You were possessed by an evil pony named Sombra. But it’s ok now, Twilight threw a PlayStation at him” Pinkie explained.

“Wha?” Todd asked, rubbing the side of his head like he had a major hangover.

“Let’s just check that none of Sombra’s influence remained. Todd darling, do you think we should re-release a special edition of Skyrim?” Rarity asked.

“What? No, that’s insane. We’ve made that game already” Todd responded with a bewildered look on his face at the suggestion.

“Ok he’s free, let’s play the game already” Rainbow said impatiently.

Booting up the game on their respective consoles, Luna and Todd Howard watched as the opening scene played out.

While the graphics were beyond anything Bethesda had seen before, a work of Rarity’s sense of style, there was something eerily familiar about the first few minutes of Hammerfell.

“Hey, you're finally awake”

Seeing the events of Helgen play out in 8k definition, all eyes fell on Twilight and Rarity.

“It’s only been five years since the events of Skyrim in game in-universe. I thought the players could use a refresh” Twilight sheepishly explained.

“And I thought the armour could use some cosmetic improvements…” Rarity followed up.

“Twilight, Rarity, I think I love you” Todd admitted, making both mares blush.

After speed running Alduin into the dirt the Dragonborn gets a new quest not seen in the OG game.

A messenger delivers a letter inviting them to the province of Hammerfell.

After trekking through the frozen wastes of Skyrim a wagon is waiting on the border with Cyrodiil.

“We should probably make that an optional feature” Twilight admitted.

“I liked it” Todd Howard said, trying to cheer her up.

Getting into the actual game, the Player Character begins as a prisoner aboard a ship bound for Hegathe. But when a sea serpent attacks they escape, commandeering a long boat and making for the coast.

Finding their way to Hegathe it’s apparent that Hammerfell has fallen on hard times.

The province is divided, while factions like the Crowns and Forbearers transcend borders, the province is split between major city states.

Hegathe is one of course, along with Gilane, Sentinel, Skaven, Dragonstar, Elinhir, Rihad and the Thalmor occupied Taneth.

Exploring the city they found themselves embroiled in a Altmer plot to reignite the invasion of Hammerfell.

Setting off to stop the Thalmor they meet companions from the Mage Guild, desert nomads, pirates from Hew’s Bane and Imperial sympathisers from Helkori’s Plains.

Being a pony of habit, Luna got distracted by side quests and other mechanics.

For Fallout it was building palace after palace after palace. In Elder Scrolls VI it’s businesses.

Each settlement had taverns, caravans, inns. All kinds of businesses. Some settlements had special kinds of businesses like wineries, silk merchants or spice traders.

Buying them is a source of income and positive relations with local npcs. Additionally it granted you quests centred around factors involved in running a business. Alternatively you could pay one of your employees to do it for you. That way the quests didn’t get tedious.

“Luna your nine quests behind you’re missing out” Todd said as he went into an ancient Redguard temple containing lost Altmer artefacts.

“Placement is irrelevant. I must possess all commerce in Hammerfell. Economic over the lands will ensure my claim to the title of Sultan is undisputed” Luna explained as she spammed at the alchemy table.

Once she had a daily passive income greater then the total wealth of forty middle class families, Luna actually got to the main quest.

Travelling across the province stopping plots and schemes, Luna also helped out the various local leaders with quests ranging from rescuing kidnapped relatives to taking down ships of the Pirate Clans.

After catching up to Todd, Luna solved the puzzles, fell into the traps and almost rage quit nine times trying to get to the centre of the ancient Redguard temple within the Alik’r Desert.

There she came face to face with the antagonist of the game Orinoril Thramus, a Thalmor agent who’s been sowing the conflict in Hammerfell since the games beginning.

Hiding behind a magic shield he stole the treasure at the heart of the temple, the Armour of Magnus.

Fighting through a horde of Thalmor agents, Luna emerged to find Hammerfell at war.

The Armour of Magnus allowed Orinoril to summon vast armies of master level Storm, Frost and Flame Thralls that now threaten the freedom of Hammerfell.

Setting off to unite the scattered realm against the Thalmor Luna unlocked two features.

Firstly was the Command System that allowed the recruitment, training and deployment of soldiers to aid the player in battle.

Secondly was the Electoral System which allowed the player to choose which regional leader they wanted to support for the position of Sultan of Hammerfell or to run themselves assuming their reputation with each of the other candidates was high enough. This was employed via a series of quests and speech craft checks to sway the voters.

After clearing Hammerfell of Thalmor forced the final battle in Taneth.

Fighting Orinoril ina prolonged boss fight she killed the elf and took the armour. Hammerfell was saved and Luna had taken the position of ruler of all Redguard.

“So… what did you think?” Twilight asked, her need for approval from Celestia being projected onto Luna.

“It was a fine game, definitely worth sitting through Skyrim for” Luna said approvingly, ignoring the look of betrayal on Todd Howard’s face.

“And what about you Todd darling?” Rarity asked.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Todd Howard put down the controller.

“Gotta say, this is actually better then Skyrim in my opinion” He complimented.

And most of the gaming community agreed. Within one week of being on the shelves Elder Scrolls VI: Hammerfell sold over one hundred million copies generating three billion dollars.

Two months later the DLC Pirates of the Burnt Coast was released allowing the players to play out their piratical fantasies, and kill even more Altmer via expanding the map to include the northern coast of the Summerset Isles.

It made an additional one billion dollars, same with the Equestrian edition which was just the game but set in an alt-universe version of Equestria.

Sat on a throne made out of fifty dollar bills, Luna scrolled through the public reviews of the games her company had produced.

“Lord Todd of Howard We have a question” Luna said, having promoted Todd Howard from Knight to Lord.

Sat on a smaller but equally uncomfortable throne of twenty dollar bills Todd replied “yes Princess?”

“What is a “Woke SJW Dumpster Fire” and why is the Condemming Eater calling our games it?” Luna asked.

Having a look at the royal galaxy phone Todd was surprised at the amount of people hating on the games for pushing “the message of soy beta male devaluing” along with counter comments saying that they “perpetuate the CIS fantasy of patriarchal blah blah blah”

“Well Princess, this is what we call People with too much time on their hands” Todd began to explain.

Author's Note

Tune in next time for “Luna learns about Cancel Culture”