Something Silly

by Soaring

First published September 30th, 2024 12:30

Pinkie Pie loves making ponies smile. She loves making them laugh too. It's wonderful.

Then she met something silly.

NOTE: This is Spoken Word poetry.

TW: Depression

I haven't written an experimental piece with poetry in it since Drink (2017). The fact that this is all poetry is even harder, so take this what you will.

Chapters

It Was Silly
I Woke Up With Something Silly Today
Something Kinda Silly
It's Just Something Silly
Silly, Silly, Silly
Smile.

It Was Silly
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Something Silly

It Was Silly

Rarity came by to see me.

It was for something silly, really.

She asked about my dress,
I told her it wasn’t a mess,

She asked if it was in my room,
I asked her if she meant the broom,

She asked if I was confused,
I told her she said something silly about a darling in doom,
I told her she should eat what silly fillies eat.

She tilted her head, asked what they ate,
I told her with a flurry of giggles that silly fillies ate smileys,

She told me she’d buy one,
I told her I’m not for sale.

She snorted, then raised a brow.

Tough crowd…

I swallowed my laughter,
Hoofed her a choco chip cookie,
With pink frosting on the top,
Shaped like a smiling pony,
One that I saw this morning,
Rarity tilted her head,
Asked if that was meant to be herself,
I told her instead,
How it would be boring,
To see anything but yourself.

She bought it
Nibbled at the sides
And waved me goodbye
With a sidelong eye.

I watched her leave,
Each step had echoed like mine,
Reverberated off walls,
Like a squeaky tabletop without grime,
The only thing that was left in my mind,
Were a few words that didn't really rhyme:

Wowie...

...that was really silly.

Author's Note

"Nibbl," said 6-D Pegasus.

I Woke Up With Something Silly Today
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Something Silly

I Woke Up With Something Silly Today

I woke up with something today.

It was… something silly.

They (who were silly) told me it was okey-dokey-lokey, and that they would keep me company.
I told them that they were silly and that it was okey-dokey-lokey with me!

I got up out of bed,
Made my sheets,
Put on my smile,
Made the sheets again (my smile wasn’t on yet),
Put on my smile again (it felt wrong on my face) and made the sheets again (they weren’t silly enough),
Walked out of the room,
Trotted into my bathroom,
Looked straight in the mirror,
And saw my silly smile.

I wondered if it was okay to smile.
I wondered if the feeling in my tail was somepony wanting to talk to me or they had the wrong number and were frantically calling in a house fire.
I wondered if my teeth were solid or if they were made of cotton candy.
I wondered if that dimple on my cheek was always there or if I was imagining it.
I wondered if my eyes were too big or if that was just the light.
I wondered…

...if I was being silly.

They told me nothing was wrong:
It’s okay, Pinkie,
It’s okay.
It’s just something silly!
Smile.
Stand still.
Take a picture.
Look at it, it’ll last longer.
Just like me, being here with you.
Just like you, being here with me.

…

I turned around and made my exit.
Down the stairs
Up the stairs
Down the stairs
Up—I stopped myself.

I shook my head.

I went down the stairs.
Clip, clop; clip, clop.
To the counter.
Where I stood.
Waiting.
Looking.
Quite silly.

…

The door wasn’t open yet.
The seats weren’t set.
The tables were dusty,
And the counter was too.
At least the lights were on.
There was so much to do!

I trotted over to each table,
Grabbed their seats,
Dusted them off,
Scooted them in,
And adjusted them until they were juuust right!

I looked at the tables.
Dust grew there too, just like the seats.
I pulled out my totally awesome and not-so-wacky-but-actually-wacky cleaning supply set Dashie got me!

...

Two spritz, wax on, wax off.
A towel against the gruff.
A smile against the rough.

I looked at the counter.
The same for it, too.

Couple more dollops,
Couple more cleanups,
Couple more moments,
Couple more thoughts.

I sighed and trotted back over to the table, wearing that
Silly
Little
Smile
I
Saw
In
The
Mirror
This
Morning.

And I stared at the door—
Wait.

Why isn't it open?

...

Oh! Silly me. I forgot!
I forgot to open the door!
Let my friends in, greet them like I always do!
Silly me.
Silly… me.

I trotted to it, a huff in the air.
I trotted to it, hoofsteps in my ears.
I trotted to it, my pace lock step.
I trotted to it, my forehoof at rest.
I was at it now and I...

The door swung open.

It creaked.

...

There was no pony there.

...

Oh, Pinkie. You’re being silly.
Oh, Pinkie. It’ll be fine.
It's early morning!
Of course no one is there.
They’ll be here. Don't you worry.
They’ll be here soon.

I walked back.
Each hoofstep echoed.

They echoed

And echoed

And echoed

And echoed

And echoed

And—

I stopped hearing my hoofsteps.

I was behind the counter, inspecting my work.

It was just silly doing all this.
Stressing about who was outside.
Stressing about every detail:
How colorful the cake was,
How fluffy the muffins looked,
How tasty the ingredients were (they were scrumptious!),
How normal the oven was (when did this get installed again?),
How...

...all of them mattered.

Every singular thing had to be there.

They will make them smile.

That's all I wanted.

Yet, why did it feel so… silly?

...

I gulped down my pride,
Set it aside,
Told them to get out,
They needed a time out,
And suddenly,
My smile stopped feeling so silly.

Author's Note

God I love pretzels.

Something Kinda Silly
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Something Silly

Something Kinda Silly

Twilight was here for something...

It was kinda silly,
Not the silly from this morning,
Not the silly before noon,
Not the silly with the warning,
Not the silly in my room,
It was just… silly.

My hoof tingled whenever she walked up to the counter.
My thoughts ran wild whenever she told me Rarity talked to her.

What did she talk to you about?
What did she say about the cookie?
How did the cookie taste?
Did it look like her?
Did it look like me?
Did it make sense?
Did she figure it out
How the world around me was being silly
How the world around me felt like it was tearing itself apart at the seams
She didn’t have her sewing kit with her
Or her machine
Tucked in her saddlebags
Neither remained
So what did she tell you?
What
Did
She
Tell
You?!

…

I’m not smiling anymore, am I?

…

Twilight, there’s nothing wrong!
Everything’s okey-dokey-lokey!
I’m just being silly, hehe.
Silly.
Funny.
Quite Silly.
Yeppers.
Nothing’s wrong!
No, no no, waving my hooves in front of you
It's just a game I made, silly!
It’s for us to play!

…

You don't... believe me, do you?
My smile isn’t silly?
My eyes look a bit duller today?
Am I… sad?

…

Twilight, I don’t know what you mean.
I woke up this morning.
My smile was on just right.
Just like the tables, they were clean too.
You see that right? Look at them.
Sparkling in the light,
Sparkling like they don’t care
Sparkling with a smile on their faces,
Rough with wear,
They have been here for years,
Mrs. Cake told me that,
They bought them at a sale,
Imported from a fair,
Ponies like to lie—sell their shares,
Mr. Cake had several,
The corner has them too,
Did you know?
Cake is not the only thing on the agenda.

…

Sorry, I rambled.

All you wanted was the muffins, right?

Let me ring those for you,
They look so great,
Fluffy and all,
Sprinkles on top,
I love them and—

You… want to talk to me instead?

Twilight, were you what my tail was telling me?

Author's Note

Twitch, twitch.

No, not the streaming service.

It's Just Something Silly
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Something Silly

It's Just Something Silly

The cakes took over the store for today.
They said I should go talk to Twilight
They can handle things
It’s not a problem
Pinkie it’s not a problem
I told them it was to me
I was confused, nopony was making sense!
Why am I needing to go?
I was just fine a few moments ago,
I talked to Rarity, gave her a cookie
That looked like me
That looked like her
That looked like us,
And that it was fine and that she needed it
And that it was okay and that it was fine
And I said that twice already—
Am I okay?

…

I was

walking next to Twilight.
But now I’m in a room.
Walls surround me.
I lost track of time.
The clock outside is ticking
Yet I hear it in these four walls
The door is shut
I’m twitching
My tail told me that ponies were sad that they saw me this morning
My hair stood on end like it was about to collapse
My heart was racing with my mind and it was losing
I don’t know why they wanted to race, I just want to be happy
I want everypony to be happy!
And yet—

Am I happy?

Or am I just being silly?

Author's Note

I wonder what VIC would say.

Silly, Silly, Silly
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Something Silly

Silly, Silly, Silly

It’s just silly.

It’s just silly how I’m sitting here.
Sitting here waiting for somepony to tell me what’s wrong with me.
What’s wrong with being silly?
Did I smile wrong this morning?
I think I had, I had to pick it up off the ground
Smear it back on my face
Feel it there just for a moment and then look back in the mirror and see that it was still there
Thank Celestia!

Nurse Redheart did a checkup.
She said it would be brief
Just a moment
A little bit
A tiny one
Like Gummy
I hope Rainbow Dash doesn’t mind taking care of him
He could be a hoofful
And Tank knows his way around, just like Gummy
Just like water and food in two separate bowls
Uniform, the water just cold enough
The food just warm enough
Careful, don’t bathe in it, Tank!
Hehehe.

My laugh sounds wrong.
I’m not laughing.
I’m… kinda laughing.
Silly. I should know how to laugh.
Granny Pie told me how.
Stand up tall,
Face your fears,
Tell them to take a hike,
Tell them to leave you alone,
Tell that big dumb scary face,
That they can’t hurt you,
No, no, they can’t hurt you, Pinkie.
Laugh them away and—

Ha-hah

H-Ha

Ha... ha?

Wait that didn’t sound right!
No, the laugh was supposed to—

Stop talking—no that's your own voice—
Pinkie.
The doctors told me to tell you
That you’re okay but you’re not
You need to tell us what’s going on
It’s all mental—
—Mental how?—
Eugh, it’s all upstairs, Pinkie!
Upstairs in that head of yours
It’s something that you say is silly
But it’s not
Describe it
Tell me what it is
I want to help
You need it
Because you’re you
And when you’re sad
Ponyville—

I…

I don’t know what you’re talking about, nurse!
I feel just fine!
I’m not sad!
That’s the last thing I am!
I just feel silly.
A silly little filly
A silly filly feeling silly about this morning
In the mirror
Where I picked up my smile
It was on the ground
Not like me, but the smile
I picked it up, put it back on
Looked in the mirror, and it was there
Then I picked up the sheets
Folded them into one piece
They looked silly
So I left
Walked down the stairs
Went to work
Cleaned the tables
Dusted the chairs
And the counter too (it was really dirty)
And then I waited
Forgot the door was shut
So I opened the door
Told ponies to come in
No one was there
It took some time
I waited for a while
Some ponies trickled in
But no one said a word
Then Rarity came in
She bought a cookie
The one I made for her
She was happy
And that was great
I told her all about the silliness
And she left
But then Twilight came
And asked if I was okay
I told her things were okay
But was I okay
Now I’m here
Here with you
Wondering if I am okay
Because I don’t know
Is that okay?
Am I wrong?
Am I silly?
Is that a medical condition?
What else is there to do?
What can you do?
Is there anything
Anypony
Anyone
Can do to help me?!
Find out why I’m so silly?!
Why I feel in-between happy and sad?!
What do you call that?!
Normal?!
I don’t know I’m just a pony
A silly pony
And silly ponies are not normal ponies
Normal ponies are not possible
Because normal ponies don’t smile
Normal isn’t a thing
Normal is just an abstract construct—

I… rambled again, didn't I?

I’m sorry, Nurse Redheart. Am I scaring you?

…

I—

Don’t look at me like that—
I’m sorry for what I did!
I just want you to smile.
I just want you to smile…
I just…

…

Pinkie?

…

Pinkie?
When did this start?
Was it in the mirror?
Was it the night before?
What do you remember?

…

This morning I saw myself in the mirror.
I saw my smile fall off.
I picked it back up again.
That’s… what I remember.

…

The black marker.
Did you do that?

The what?

The marker, on your face.
Smeared there.
Big and black.
A smile.
Crudely painted
A little wiggly.
I-Imperfect.
That’s what you did?

That’s…
Oh.
I think that’s what I did.
I don’t know.
Now that you mention it, I…
I found it in the drawer—
—In the drawer?—
In the drawer
Where all the markers are
Where I color in my smile
On coloring books that I had
For the foals to use
But I saved one
And colored in it.

Since when?

Yesterday.
I…
Did Mayor Mare tell you anything?
She had this look on her face
A raised brow
A glance of shock
Her lips tugged out
Her jaw hung low
And my mind wracked her
Chaotically
As a concern
Loaded it messily
And then—

Pinkie.

It’s okay.

We’re going to help you.

I know what it is—
—You do? Oh you do?—
Yes—
I know what to do then! Smile, right?—
—No, Pinkie. No smiling, not yet anyway.—
Okey-dokey-lokey. Then what?

…

Just breathe.

Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Breathe in,
Breathe out,

And keep doing that,
Keep doing that,
Keep doing that—don’t hit it with your hoof—
Keep doing that,
There, there,
Relax.

You’re not silly
You’re Pinkie
You’re happy
You’re you
You’re everything you want to be.
There’s just a part of you that likes to disagree.
That’s fine.
That happens to all of us.
Yours just disagrees more.
And that’s fine too. We can help you with that.
Your friends can too.
Just…
Talk to them.

…

Tell them that you’re hurting. Even if you don’t know it.
It helps.

…

Pinkie?

…

Eugh…

Author's Note

I love you.
I miss you.
Is that enough?
121117

Smile.
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Something Silly

Smile.

I saw my reflection today.

I knew it was me because when I appeared, so did my nurse.
She had a smile on her face,
Not a silly one, but just a smile.
A smile that could light up a whole town,
A smile that could turn a frown upside down,
A smile that could break anypony's crown,
Turn it into debris from a powerful storm,
The debris from a pony ready to drown,
In the wind gusts they were born,
And there...

I saw myself in a mirror today.
Nurse Redheart was making sure I was happy!
A happy Pinkie meant happy ponies.
And I told her I was.

She asked if I had any more of those thoughts.
I told her if they came back, my friends would be there.

She asked if I had seen myself in the reflection today.
I asked her if there was anypony else but us.

She said there wasn't.
I said there was.

She asked who they were.
I told her that they were me but sadder, but I told her they weren't me anymore.

She asked how that could be.
I told her that they were me when I wanted to be... that.

A choice.
Not a sudden force.
A choice to be sad.
A choice to cry.
A choice to cuddle up in my bed
Wrap myself in my blankets
Wrap myself in my problems
Wrap myself in my memories
Telling me to not think of something silly
But to take me seriously.

Find a reason to be whole, Pinkie
You are so much more than what you think you are
You are so much more than for others
You are so much more than a bundle of happiness waiting to be unwrapped by someone else who relies on it to wake up the next morning because the world outside is much more tantalizing than they want it to be!
You are so...

...much...

...more, than that.

I am much more than that.

My name is Pinkie, Nurse Redheart.
And I am no longer just... happy
Silly
A feeling between the end of the joke
And the beginning of another.

I am the new and improved
super-de-duper
action-packed
totally awesome
and most importantly
a happy Pinkie Pie.

And I want you to smile, even if it hurts to.
Even if it you feel like you can't.
Even if it's foreign to you.
Make that frown turn upside down!

Because everypony deserves to smile for themselves.

Author's Note

If this gets to 100 upvotes, Lynser will do a scuffed audio reading in his own voice (of course) with cream soda and gatorade involved!

Two halves make a whole. Smile anyway, even if that second half isn't wanting to. There's more to Ponk just like there's more to you. Live life as you would want it, precariously, but with some caution.

Crosswalks are there for a reason, after all!

Okay, real talk though. If you're feeling down, talk to someone you know. Tell them how you feel. There's no better feeling than growing closer to someone that cares about you. Cherish those relationships and watch them blossom.

That's what Pinkie would want you to do, right?

Obligatory Pinkie Pie below:

Song for this story:

Shoutout to all of my pre-readers. Without them, this poetry would have never hit the site.

Pre-readers: Randomaneer123, DarthBall, SixDee, and Lynser. :twilightsmile: