Jackass Equestria

REMINDER

The stunts in this story were performed by professionals, so for your safety and the protection of those around you, do not attempt any of the stunts you have just read.

Canterlot, Equestria

Ahh. Welcome to the capital city of Equestria: Canterlot, home of the high-class elites as well as the rulers of this land who are in the forms of 2 alicorn sisters. Right now in this bustling city, many nobles and tourists as well as citizens of this place were doing their usual activities such as talking, walking, trotting, dining in restaurants and cafes, shopping in jewelry and clothing stores, and more. Life is just as normal as it is now.....or is it?

Oh! What is this I see? Oh no.....it's a.....wait.....IT'S A STAMPEDE OF BULLS!! And in the cloudy fog caused by the bulls, there is a silhouette I see and it's coming into clear view right now. Wait, it's getting clearer and clearer. Alas! It's a massive shopping cart that contained 14 humans which are a mix of 13 men and 1 woman along with 9 ponies that too are a mix of 6 mares and 3 stallions, so that makes a total of 23 beings

Meet the Jackass crew and in the beginning of this chapter which you are now reading, dear reader of mine, is where the start of a new movie in this alternate universe and all of the OG Jackass crew members; both human and Equestrian are here along with new additions in this story which is like a movie

"But if it is a movie, shouldn't you animate it?

"Hey! I'm just the writer, so anyone can try to animate this shit, got it?!

*grumbling*, "Fine....."

Anyways, back to where I was trying to say. Oh yes! These Jackasses were in a shopping cart.....well minus 3 people to be exact because they were outside the cart and only 20 Jackasses inside it because one fatass is pushing the cart as fast as his fat body and muscles can while the other 2 tried to hold on either side of the cart as the group tried to evade the bull stampede along with trying to evade the citizens that were too, trying their best to escape the bull stampede at once before they get seriously hurt. Back on the cart, the 20 Jackasses were getting rowdy on their antics, so let's roll the cast while the cart is speeding to get away from the bulls, please!

JOHNNY KNOXVILLE

BAM MARGERA

STEVE-O

RYAN DUNN

CHRIS PONTIUS

DAVE ENGLAND

DANGER EHREN

WEE MAN

PRESTON LACY

SEAN "POOPIES" MCINNERY

ZACH HOLMES

ERIC MANAKA

RACHEL WOLFSON

CELESTIA

LUNA

PINKIE PIE

RAINBOW DASH

LYRA HEARTSTRINGS

BON BON

STAR BRIGHT

SILVER SCRIPT

NOTEWORTHY

And now, the cart was gaining enough speed that it was nearly getting away from the stampede, when director Jeff Tremaine ordered the cannons to blast out fake bricks and dust which hit some of them while the bulls were too confused by it, but somehow, some of them managed to get past the obstacles and made it towards the speeding shopping cart which is getting away from them

The cart now sped fast the road and Preston swerved the cart to the right side of the road in order to make it to it's destination and where is that destination you ask, reader? Well, their target is to be inside Canterlot Castle, duh!

"Okay, I'm sorry for the rudeness there, dear reader. I apologize for that"

So back to where we are, Preston, Dave,& Ehren let go off the cart and tried to run away from the bulls, screaming fearfully in hopes of not getting themselves impaled by any of their sharp horns. Preston managed to get his fat ass running as he tried to find a place to take cover. And sure enough, he did because he spotted an empty shop which is still open and when he opened the door, he jumped and landed on his belly in hopes the stampede won't hit him and luckily for him, they didn't

"Holy motherfuckers!", Preston exclaimed in shock

Ehren and Dave tried to run at maximum speed so that they can outrun the bulls that are chasing them and then, both men separated from each other, knowing that they wouldn't get hit by any stray bull if they're together. Dave took cover in a garbage bin just like in the 2nd Jackass film and the same thing that happened to him in Number Two, one of the bulls knocked the garbage bin down. Ehren on the other hand tried to find any place but he ran out of time and decided to climb up a pole and evade the stampede which managed to avoid him except for one steed which knocked the pole where Ehren is and he fell down afterwards, groaning in pain while the steed ran off to catch on with the shopping cart along with his kind as well

Back to where the others were in the shopping cart, the 20 Jackasses were speeding towards the back entrance of Canterlot Castle and when they saw the entrance, the Royal Sisters lit up their horns and used their magic as the cart turned towards the entrance with them hollering and screaming in their lungs while the bulls lagged behind and because of this, the herd decided to give up in an instant and Celestia in response, opened a portal where the herd entered and thus, the portal opened and they ended up in the Wild West back in America

The shopping cart was speeding towards it's final location in Canterlot Castle which is a whole bunch of empty crates and while they're celebrating their victorious escape from the bulls. It was time for Johnny to shout out loud his iconic line

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to Jackass!"

The cart continued to go until the remaining Jackass members jumped out of the cart and crashed into the crates, causing them to groan and moan in pain after doing that. And thus, my reader; is where the stunts and pranks begin!

JACKASS EQUESTRIA