Chapter VI: Blanket of Pressure

The sound of button pressing makes me open my eyes. On the TV, a hero clad in black fights a villain in green with robots everywhere. The light coming from the screen is the only source of illumination aside from the lamp right beside me. Sunset sits on the other side of the couch, furiously playing with the controller in her hands. Aside from the sound of the game, our living room is quiet. A book rests in my hands. The lamp makes the normally white pages seem yellow. A blanket is wrapped around my legs, making me feel pretty comfortable.

It’s nice to rest on my side of the couch like this. Even if nothing is said between us, it still feels incredibly intimate to be able to engage with our hobbies next to each other. Sunset sticks her tongue out in concentration, trying her best to not die to the boss she is fighting. Looking down at the book, I can’t help but raise my eyebrow slightly.

“War: What You Need to Know,” I read the title aloud. When did I pick out this book? I don’t remember being interested in reading this. However, it is just as likely that Sunset picked this out. There’s not much harm in giving it a chance though, right? Flipping open the book to the first page beyond the contents, I start to read the words inscribed. Huh. It starts with a description, but it isn’t about war. It’s about-

“Ah, damn it… I was so close that time,” Sunset mentions while rolling her eyes, prompting me to look away from the words.

“Maybe you should take a break from the game? You’ve been trying that for hours.” Has she? Time has really flown by then. It doesn’t feel like I have watched her for hours.

“No way. I solved 243 puzzles to get to this one boss.” Once again, Sunset activates the boss fight, making the green man in a big mech suit come out to play.

“You have a checkpoint. You can afford to take a break and catch your breath,” I remind her gently, bringing my eyes back to the book. The words starting chapter one are discussing the shared pain that people endure when it comes to… cancer?

“Yes, but do you have that luxury?”

My eyes dart up from the book, noticing the TV is off. Sunset looks towards me, but her eyes are emotionless. Empty except for what seems like some sort of resentment. The light from the lamp flickers out as if it is a candle snuffed by the wind. The dark leaves her skin looking like a light gray.

“What… What did you say?”

“Dagi!” a yell hurts my ear, making me shake my head. Aria stands in front of me, looking angry as usual. Sonata stands with a guitar in her hand, the music studio lights making everything seem brighter. “Where are you? We’re supposed to be working on this new song.”

“Yeah, sorry. Just… I feel dizzy,” I reply slowly, looking at the microphone in my hand. The room seems bigger than I remember… “What song are we working on again?”

“Holes in Reality? Are you alright, Adagio? We can take a break if you need,” Sonata states in a tone of concern. Reality… That’s ironic. This feels off. Every time I open my eyes, Sonata and Aria move away from me. Wasn’t Aria just wearing a magenta jacket instead of a tee shirt with holes in it?

“No. This isn’t right…” Stepping back, I take a deep breath. I don’t think we had a song titled like that. Pushing past Aria, I open the door of the recording booth. A roar of words hits me, the lobby of a hospital makes my head spin. Why am I here? The lobby has an open floor plan where I can see up to… twenty floors…?

There’s no door behind me. Just a hard floor leading to waiting areas for the different sections of the hospital. Hundreds of people. My breathing does little to make me feel better. I am constantly lightheaded. God. It almost hurts to open my eyes. The voices of everyone flies around me, despite their static positions. What is going on?

Looking up, I see a person with fiery hair walk past me. No, not just a person. Her.

“Sunset?” I reach my hand out, taking a step. As soon as my foot touches the floor, my chest tightens, squeezing out the air in my lungs. I instantly gag on something, drool lingering on my lips. Touching it, I see a crimson red staining my fingers. Instead of saliva, blood makes me gag on my own tongue. I… I’m losing strength.

Am I… Am I dying? Is this pain… Could this… No. It can’t be. Right? The pain in my chest is so severe… It is taking every ounce of willpower to stop myself from falling over.

“Sunset, wait,” I try to call out, but my chest constricts around my heart. I can’t let myself stop. If I do, it feels like I may not have the strength to move again. Despite the pain, cramps, and dizziness, I run forward, pushing through the crowd. I don’t know why, but everything in me is urging me to get to her. Even though my breaths feel like I am inhaling straight carbon dioxide, I keep my pace up. I can’t afford to let myself slow down. The pain… It feels so real. Crushing my organs… I need to get to her. To touch her. To tell her-

“Miss, you’re bleeding,” someone gets in my way. I don’t need this. Shoving them out of the way, my arm holds my chest in a desperate attempt to keep myself intact. Multiple hands grab onto me, trying to pull me back. “You need to stop so we can help-”

“Let go of me!” Pushing past, it feels like I am trying to avoid being touched every inch I move forward. They won’t help me. This isn’t right. None of this is right. Stopping now is likely going to make it impossible to move again. Despite how painful it is to keep going, I know I can’t slow down. I can barely see her hair through the crowd. Taking a deep breath, I sprint forward, dodging around everyone that tries to grab me. She turns the corner to another hallway. Getting to the corner, I look down the corridor.

Water instantly rushes and submerges my legs. Rock walls surround me, making a maze of water. People float along the water that reaches my thighs as if it is some lazy river. Towards the end of this path, there are branching openings. Sunset stands there, seemingly trying to decide where to go. Fuck this…

“Sunset,” I try to call out to her, but I cough up more blood. Trudging through the water, I have to push through the people. It’s like everything is specifically made to slow me down. Laughs echo, darkly contrasting my difficulty to breath. Their hands try to grab me again. The water splashes violently against my thighs just as one of them takes hold of my knee. “Rodon,” I strike out with my singular word, my magic instantly lighting them on fire.

Turning the corner, I push past the people in the water. Sunset is not far ahead of me, turning to the left this time. I try to grab her shoulder by lunging forward, but she is just out of reach. Looking to the left, I see a steep decline of rapid water that must be two stories tall. Sunset is already at the bottom, unharmed. Pain spreads through my chest from each heart beat, making me wince. Whatever is happening, it feels like it is coming to an end soon… I need to get to her.

Taking a deep breath, I let the water sweep me down. In an instant, my body is flung to the side. Fuck! The rock wall shreds into my shoulder. God damn it. Every time I slam into one of the walls, I can feel the searing pain of cut skin. Water overwhelms me, easily making me gag on the way down. My feet hit the hard rock. Water splashes. My arms hit the rock floor, submerging my whole body. A metallic taste fills my mouth as a thousand hands grab me. I can’t stop. I won’t be able to move again if I do.

As soon as I break the surface of the water, I take a breath, pushing myself to my feet despite the sheer agony afflicting my body. Blood drips from my lips onto my hand. A dark corridor is laid out in front of me, continuing to a pitch black void. It doesn’t take me even a second to move forward as fast as I can. The dark does not scare me. Whatever is happening to my body does…

Coming to a wall of what seems to be confetti strings hanging from the ceiling, I can see brief glimpses of light on the other side. My chest tightens further, strangling my heart… Reaching forward, I push through the obstruction as a wave of light comes over me. Once again, the sight of the hospital lobby greets me. Water and blood drip off of me, none of which seem to be a concern to her. Only a few meters in front of me, Sunset stands in front of the entrance, talking with Rarity.

“Sunse-”

Thump.

Bringing my hand to my chest, it feels like everything is being crushed inside me. I can’t feel a familiar warmth in my veins. Or hear a slight pulsing. I… I can’t feel my heart. There’s no beat.

“Sunset-” I try to say, but the last of my energy leaves my body. Every last ounce of adrenaline was used and… I’m too late. I wasn’t fast enough. My body is…

Hitting the floor doesn’t even cause much pain to splinter through my body. I can’t feel much anymore. If this is what death feels like, I can’t… I need to… I’m not done. There’s more I need to do. I can’t breathe… All I can do is look at her. As my vision fails me, I see her look towards me, a confused frown being the last clear sight.

“What’s gotten into her?”

Enough.

This twisted vision ends here.

Now.

I have not come this far to let myself get scared by meaningless ideas. You have no control here… I will not die. Especially like this. None of this is real.

This is all in my head.

Opening my eyes, I notice that I’m wearing a red dress. All around me is an abundance of black smoke, thick enough to be tangible. A small chuckle leaves my lips, gradually turning into a cackle. Strands of the smoke are tied to each of my fingers. It is absurd to think that this would be enough to hold me down. Humming a tune filled with rage, the smoke is lit aflame, making it disappear from my hands.

“In my head,” I whisper to myself, walking forward. Every step makes the smoke retreat ever so slightly. “I’ll be honest, I did not expect it to be this bad so far.” Bringing my hand to the crown on my head, I can’t help but let out another frankly demented chuckle. Nothing about this is funny in a way. It’s just so moronic this is even happening. To think a part of me just tried to kill me. “Nice try. Really. I mean it,” I say in a laugh, knowing that this thing isn’t alive. Or sentient as it may be. “I almost believed that was real. Something tells me the pain was real, all things considered.”

Twirling my finger around some of the smoke, I smile to myself. This… disease has infected enough of me. It’s ironic that the only thing that has come close to killing me is myself. Not even the powerful beasts of Equestria stood a chance. I knew I was powerful, but damn. It’s almost hilarious that I am the one who has come close to ending my life. Maybe those years without my magic made me truly forget my power.

“You will regret pissing me off,” I whisper, burning more of the smoke. “Trust me, I don’t like to use this kind of language. But I am exhausted from this little game. I fully intend to live for a long time with a very special person.” Flames extend from my fingers. I know I can’t get rid of it, but I can make it slow down. “It’s only a matter of time until I conquer you too.”

Swiping my seapass on the door, it immediately unlocks in front of me. I wait a moment to open it, thinking about the right thing to say. It’s only a few hours away from dawn. If she isn’t asleep, I would feel guilty about keeping her up. However, it wasn’t exactly my choice to pass out on a chair close to the front of the ship. It was absurd how I believed the first part of that delusion was real since we haven’t stayed overnight at a beach. It’s only been a couple of days so far and we have visited one other place for a few hours.

Pushing the door, my shadow spills out into the room. The light behind me tries to illuminate the dark interior. I quickly make my way inside, closing the door behind me. It’s almost pitch black in here except, making it unlikely that she is still awake. Walking past the bathroom, I see a faint red glow from the alarm clock next to the bed.

The lump on the other side of the bed is quiet. Still except for the occasional breath. Sighing to myself, I change for bed silently. I wish I hadn’t made her wait so long. She also didn’t deserve the anger I gave her… I’m sure I can talk with her in the morning though. Slowly lifting the blanket, I slip into the bed. The feeling of an automatic warmth spreading from her side of the bed greets my skin. Sunset is sleeping on her side, facing me. Her breathing is slow and steady. Peaceful… Leaning forward, I gently kiss her forehead, making sure not to wake her.

“I am sorry, my sweet summer mist,” I whisper, brushing her hair slowly with my fingers. Of course, she doesn’t answer. Not that I want her to anyway. I want her to get her rest. After a moment, I rest my head down onto my pillow. Closing my eyes, I try my best to slow down my mind. However, a touch immediately breaks me from my attempt to sleep. Arms wrap around me, pulling us closer together. A pair of lips kiss my cheek tenderly. It’s an embrace she repeats a couple of times, making my cheek feel warm.

“I’m sorry, Alligator,” she whispers in a tone as sweet as honey. Her arms hold onto me, speaking a thousand words in the stillness. The way she cuddles me is enough to let me know that she has no intention of letting go. “Listen-”

“I was wrong,” we both say at the same time, making Sunset’s breath stop for a moment. Turning my head to look towards her, I can barely see one of her eyes. The only thing that lets me know I am looking at the right place is a slight reflection of the red light from that alarm clock.

“I’m sorry, Sunset,” I whisper, bringing my hand to her cheek. “I… I’m glad you worry about me. You have shown me more love than anyone else. Even myself back when I was in Equestria. I’m scared too, but…” Pressing my nose against hers, I close my eyes, trying to not let myself tear up. “I won’t let anything take this away from me. You have every right to be scared.”

“Adagio, I… You’re right. I am scared.” A gentle kiss is laid bare upon my lips. “But you also had every right to be angry. I shouldn’t treat you like you’re a sick dog every day. I-” Before she can say another word, I press my lips into hers with a tear streaming down my cheek. My arms wrap around her as if she’s about to leave for a long trip, trying to make the most of this one embrace. Trying to imbue each second of this kiss with every ounce of love I have for her. She shouldn’t blame herself. I understand… But no matter what, I will not leave her. Not like this.

“You can be scared. You can tell me about it every time you feel afraid,” the words instantly spill out of my mouth as soon as I break the kiss. “I don’t want you to hide it from me. That’s just what I would be making you do if I told you to stop treating me like I’m sick. If there’s anyone you should be able to trust, it should be me.” Kissing her again, I can’t help but let out a small sob. “Sunset, I promise that I will be here for you if you get scared. But I also promise I won’t let this stop us. I just need your help after this cruise.” A tear streams from Sunset’s eye, but a hopeful smile responds to my plea. Her hands practically claw into my back, but I don’t mind. It’s just a sign of how she won’t let go, even if the sun destroyed the Earth.

“Alligator, you always have my help,” she whispers, pressing her forehead to mine. “I love you too much to ever leave you on your own."

Author's Note

Inspired in part by a very real dream I had where I truly felt like I was dying. Funny thing is this chapter was supposed to be longer with more happy fluff, but that dream I had, which was probably inspired by my dog's death, gave me an idea. However, we will get into more fluff later. I hope you enjoyed some good old angst.