Chapters Author's Note
Here's my late Halloween entry. Enjoy.
"...With sprinkles..."
[Ponyville - Shrieffs' jailhouse - Mayor Mare POV.]
"And, you are sure she can't get out?" I asked nervously.
"You don't have to worry anymore, Mayor. We got the criminal more secure than Discord as a garden statue. But why go and see her now? She's getting arranged at Canterlot. The Princesses themselves will preside as judges. I say we clean our hooves of this whole mess and let the royals sort this psycho out." The sheriff said.
I am having trouble answering that myself. I felt myself tremble as I thought back to the atrocities committed; I just wanted to run home and have a good cry. "I've known that psycho since she was a filly. I-I at least want to know why she did all this!" The sheriff flinches back at my sharp tone, and I become reproachful. "I'm sorry. This entire situation is weighing heavily on my stress. I hadn't even had time to die my mane." I blew a strand of pink locks out of my eye.
"It's nothing, ma'am. I'd be lying if I didn't feel the same..."
The rest of our trot was silent as we reached the holding cells. For some reason, the lights flickered the closer we finally got to the cell. Two solar guard ponies stood steadfast outside the cell. They grip those spears tightly for any sign of trouble the prisoner may cause again. I grimaced at the sight. Our esteemed guest kept her head down as she sat on a chair. She didn't have any chains on her. There is no need as the runic circle around the prisoner would activate when she tried to move. The pony in front of me was practically unrecognizable. The ordinarily vibrant pink mane is still and straight with splotches of blood in it.
Those same splotches adorn that hideous and revolting outfit—some sick amalgamation of cutie marks torn off the flanks of the victims. Sweet Celestia, I can even recognize some from Ponies I regularly engage. And by the moon, the stench is as foul as a timber wolf's breath. But, just as monstrous is the collar made from different unicorn horns. I swallowed my fear - as well as my lunch - before moving close. I can see the subtle movement of her mouth despite a muzzle covering it. I squint my eyes from my position, but it is hard to make anything out. I steeled my resolve and went to speak—the words sounding less authoritative than when I would've liked.
"P-Pinkie Pie? It's me, Mayor Mare."
"..." Pinkie didn't say a word.
"Pinkie, what are you eating? You had your meal an hour ago." Again, there was more silence, only the soft munching slowly getting louder. I felt a growing unease listening to her chewing whatever was in her mouth. It is too harsh to be taffy and too far soft to be rock candy. It's chewy like gum, but there's more resilience to it. I finally had enough and turned to the sheriff. "Who gave her food? Princess Luna ordered that she wouldn't have any more food after the designated portion to prevent another escape attempt."
Pinkie had nearly gotten out of confinement while serving breakfast. It was only thanks to the shield provided by the royal guards on the building structure that she could not break down the front doors. The sheriff seems to pale at my question and hesitantly looks away. I level a stern glare at him, silently urging him to speak. The sheriff finally caved in with a heavy sigh. "During lunchtime, some guards tried to remove that little 'coat' Pinkie's wearing because of the smell. Pinkie lunged at them when they got too close to that darn collar. And..."
The sheriff gulped, and sweat began to fall from my brow. I looked at the two stationed guards and saw them shift uncomfortably. Nothing is supposed to make them break their composure like this. "And what?" I dared to ask.
"...Private Viglance, ma'am. She tore that guard's ear clean off! Blood was pouring from the wound, staining that fancy armor and white coat. They had to rush him to the emergency room for surgery. T-They weren't able to reattach it. We couldn't find the ear."
Once again, I felt the urge to vomit. Why did I have to have a big lunch today?! Those daffodil sandwiches were somersaulting in my belly. I dry-heaved into my hooves before the sheriff's wording made me pause, and a terrible realization hit me. "Where is his ear? Why couldn't you find it?"
"Hehe-ahhahaha!"
A laugh escapes from our side, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a hacking sound. Something wet and squishy strikes against my cheek before I instinctively go to wipe my right cheek. Something came off my face as I stared down in disbelief and horror. The guard's bloody and chewed-up ear rests against my hoof. We all face Pinkie. Her head was no longer looking down; instead, her blue eyes were now focused solely on me. I have seen Pinkie for years around Ponyville. You will never find a more cheerful mare anywhere else. Her smile alone can brighten the day of anypony out there without ever saying a word. It is a smile that Ponyville has come to enjoy and welcome. But now, I only want to get as far away from it as possible. Pinkie shouldn't be smiling. She can't be smiling! This smile is impossible because, somehow, the muzzle fell on the ground, revealing Pinkie's blood-stained teeth to the world.
"Hiya, Mayor Mare. Did you want to speak with me? I do have an appointment in Canterlot in a little bit. But, I can lend you an ear for now." Pinkie said in her saccharine voice
However, the composure I had held since coming to the jailhouse fell in this instant. I threw up the content of my stomach all over the floor. The severed ear landed in my bile and compounded the smell, making me puke further. The sheriff tried to console me, but I pushed him away and ran out of the jailhouse. I faintly heard the sheriff issuing new orders to restrain Pinkie fully. But I didn't care to listen. I only want to escape. As I returned to my office and locked the doors and windows, I realized I never got my questions answered. But, like I said, Pinkie's smiles speak volumes without ever uttering a word. And from what I saw, whatever that thing was in the jailhouse, it was not the filly I knew from the past.
"...One Half Vanilla Frosting..."
[Canterlot - Throne Room - Celestia's POV.]
The crown's weight presents a heavy burden on days such as these. It almost makes me wish my destiny lay elsewhere instead of the well-being of Equestria. Is it selfish to want a more uncomplicated profession free of political maneuvering and grandiose posturing? But destiny is rarely so kind as I have discovered in my long life. A day I never envisioned has come. A day where I preside over the trial against a mare that's done so much for me and Equestria. Who would believe the headlines when they revealed that an element bearer was attacking one of their own? As I look around, I see many share the same sentiments. A situation of this magnitude affects all of us, but none more so than the friends and relatives of the perpetrator. I glance down at the heavily restrained mare and can't help but shake my head. It seemed excessive, but I can't rule out the necessity of the bindings. Twilight's letters of her friends warrant - and Pinkie's subsequent actions - leave no room for error regarding her containment.
"It is rare that I find myself at a loss of words. Seeing you bound and gagged like a common criminal is unsettling, Miss Pie. I shall remove the muzzle to have a proper dialogue." I said.
My horn glows as I remove the obstruction preventing Pinkie's voice. "I don't know about unsettling. But it is Kinky. Haha, Kinky Pinkie." Pinkie giggle.
"You shall silence yourself! This court shall not allow your crassness to taint its proceedings!" Luna stamps her hoof to my left.
"Yheesh, somepony's a party popper. By the way, can I get my coat and collar back? I worked super hard on those. Hey, Rarity, do you think we can compare notes after this? I am not as good as you with clothing, but I did well." Pinkie asked her former friend.
Miss Belle had the good sense not to say a word. Instead, she puts a hoof in her face to bar her vision of Pinkie—a feeble attempt to form a wall between her and Pinkie Pie. "I am afraid such a request will not happen," I stated.
"Why not?"
"That tapestry of torn cutie marks and severed wings and horns have been burnt to ashes so that the victims may know a semblance of peace. If the aim is to plead insanity, thou will not gain leniency!" Luna said.
"Is this about the basement? I'm sorry it was such a mess. I usually keep things more organized than that. But Twilight started Twilight-ing again. Hmm, actually. It is a bit too early for that phrase. And things are way too different--"
"Miss Pie! I will not have this nonsensical drivel continue. Look around you! Look at your fellow ponies and see the pain you have wrought!" I sternly emphasized.
Pinkie did as I said and gave the room a quick once-over. She went from strangers to friends and family before she shrugged. "I see a lot of ponies here. I see friends. I see family. And I see ponies I haven't gotten to yet."
Everypony balks at that statement. I can see Luna bristling out of the corner of my eye. "W-What dost thou mean by that? Thou hasn't gotten to them? Surely, thou doesn't claim to seek more prospects to sate your tortuous tendencies?!"
"Well, yeah. I know not every pony understands, but it's my job to bring smiles and happiness to everypony I can. But, more often than not, you get all these sad, depressed, or angry ponies that either don't like having fun or don't know how or don't want to—basically, big party poopers. And that's where I come in; to bring to that sourpuss' and spread the smiles to all."
The throne room fell into a stunned silence. Varying degrees of abject horror surrounded me. I couldn't help but look around. If nothing else other than to see if I wasn't the only one preview to this madness. Spike huddles closer to Twilight as she hugs him tightly. Poor Fluttershy fainted; her mother barely caught her in time, but she was hardly fairing better. Fancypants held a deep frown while Fleur De lis expelled her stomach contents on her neighbor, who was too shocked to respond. Rarity is trying desperately to over her sister's ears. In contrast, Applejack consoles a deeply disturbed Applebloom as she silently cries. From what I read in Twilight's letters, Applebloom was Pinkie's unwilling assistant.
Luna replied in disbelief. "H-Have thou taken leave of thine senses?!" Her horn glows as multiple pictures of the Cakes' basement. Seeing those photographs again brings an unpleasant shiver to my spine. "Look upon your machinations. A pony's severed head lay on the table! Another had their muzzle cut open in some abhorrent smiling gesture. And a few others had their eyelids removed while their faces remained frozen in perpetual agony! Thou hast tortured these ponies! What joy can thou bring when thine patrons are decease! Thou are Equestria's protector, not a twisted executioner! What could be the reason for such butchery?!"
Cracks split across the ground from the usage of the Royal Canterlot Voice. Luna stood there seething at Pinkie's lack of empathy as the mare went to reply. "Well, it's simple since the grumpy ponies can't seem to get over themselves and spread the laughter. I help them by giving their smiles to others. Why do you think so many ponies love Sugarcube Corner's cupcakes? Why do you think so many ponies recommend my expertise? Even you, Princess Celestia, why do you love that strawberry filling so much?"
At her words, a dreaded realization hits. All the investigators could not pinpoint the locations of the previous victims despite the quantity of DNA evidence. And How it looked like a chef's precision with all of the hacks and slashes against their forms. It wasn't mere mutilation. It was preparation. "...Y-You - Mother of me - you've been turning your fellow ponies into pastries for the masses to consume?!" Several gasps echoed throughout the throne room. Like a plague sweeping through the air, many ponies voided their stomachs. I, myself, felt the bile rushing up my throat. No doubt many of my ponies prescribe to the same bakery. I even regularly order strawberry filling cake each weekend. Every order I ever made condemned a pony to an unfortunate demise. "W-Why? WHY?!"
I looked into Pinkie's eyes, all but pleading with me to say otherwise, but it was there that I saw my folly. The same brilliant blue eyes and a cheery smile that brought everypony joy and optimism shifted. Miss Pie's body seemed to elongate while a crimson miasma seeped from her form. It quickly blanketed the throne room with a sickly red pallet. All occupants
"Celestia? Celestia!!! Hear my voice!!!" Luna called out to me, and the crimson haze immediately fell. The shivering I was experiencing was my sister rocking my form to regain clarity. "Are you well, sister?" I looked back to her and the crowd before bowing my head and shaking it despondently. I managed to catch the flare of infuriation from my sister as she rounds back on Pinkie. "The deliberation ends here! By the power vested in me as a ruling princess, I henceforth sentence you, Pinkamena Diane Pie, to death. Thine execution shall commence in a fortnight. Until then, thou shall be confined to the dungeon with little personal effects, restrained, and cut off from my sister's light!!!"
Pinkie makes a pouting face before blowing out a snort in annoyance. "You know something, Princess Luna. You're starting to sound like a real party pooper. After my friends and I saved you from being big meanie pants, I feel slightly betrayed."
"Surely thou jest!" Luna balked as she marched up to Pinkie's bound form. "Rainbow Dash - thine fellow element bearer and comrade - lays in critical condition. She was struck down, not by an enemy, but by one she called a friend. Thou art the Betrayer!!!"
"What can I say? Dashie's number came up when she decided she didn't like my pies and made every excuse to avoid hanging out. But you're wrong about that last part." Once again, Pinkie's smile grew to disparate levels while a manic glee entered her features. "Hehehe-hahaha. I'm not a betrayer. I'm flexible."
It happened in an instant. Pinkie's hoof slips from its restraints. Pinkie's free hoof shot straight towards Luna's face. "Gah!!!"
"Sweet Celestia!!!"
"Somepony restain her. I want cast iron yokes on her now!!!"
"Get the princess some medical help now!!!"
"Luna! LUNA!!!!" I clutched the form of my sister as she lay on the ground, trembling in pain. Her hooves desperately tried to stem the bleeding while her wings covered her face. Yet, despite all the yelling and screaming, I could still hear the laughter of a deranged mare as clear as the day I command.
"HEHEEHE-AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!"
"...One Half Chocolate..."
[Ponyville - Sugarcube Corner - Pinkie's POV]
"Pinkie." Mrs Cake called out. "Don't forget that the health inspector is coming by in a few minutes. Make sure everything is neat."
"No probemlo Mrs Cake. I'll have everything in tip-top shape," Pinkie giggled. It's another fantastic day in the best place in the world. Ponyville! Oh, wait. Sugarcube Corner is the best place. No, no. There are loads of fun places in and around Ponyville. Oh, I got it. Sugarcube Corner is the best place in Ponyville to work. Yeah, that's it. There is no need to pick and choose which place in Ponyville is better. Everything here is excellent. I put my hooves over the counter and watch my best customers enjoy the Sugarcube Corner special. Colgate loves the caramel frozen poppers. Peppermint Twist adores the thunder blue cupcakes. I still hadn't found Rainbow's favorite pie. But I am sure I'll find the right flavor eventually.
"Excuse me." Oh, somepony is calling me. I better stop the inner monologue. "I am health inspector Hard Case. I've come to ensure this establishment is up to standard for the EDH."
Correct-a-mondo Mister Hard Case. Welcome to..." I jumped and sang my welcome to Ponyville, Sugarcube Corner edition. I ended my song with a big jump, landed on my Pinkie canon, and shot a burst of confetti everywhere. "Ponyville; home of Sugarcube Corner."
I look to Hard Case, expecting him to smile and laugh at my song. But, instead, he still had this grumpy look on his face. His horn glows a bright blue before a pencil and paper float to my face. "Demerit. The establishment has an overabundance of litter on the ground—a potential hazard for trips and falls. The staff is underdressed, no apron or gloves."
"W-What? But I always wear an apron when I am baking. I'm working the cash register right now--"
"Also, what are you doing with battle armorments in a bakery? That is not regulation and presents a clear potential of injuring innocent customers. Demerits."
"But, my party canon doesn't hurt--"
"The loud bang alone can deafen ponies. Never mind the concussive force causing bodily harm. Where are the owners?"
"Well, it's just Mrs Cake in there. Mr Cake is on a delivery. She's handling a particular order."
"Hmm, I can see why; if your performance so far is any indication, I would not let you near anything important. Take me to the kitchen."
I felt my mane deflate a little at this stallion's words. I lead the health inspector into the kitchen. "Hey, Mrs Cake. Here's the health inspector, Hard Case."
"Oh, yes, hello." Mrs cake said with a smile. "Welcome to--"
"I've already received the welcoming committee from your employee, and it is less impressive than now. I'll just be taking a look at your inventory. For your sake, there better not be so much as a disorganized spice rack." Hard Case said as he walked around the kitchen. I knew Mrs Cake was nervous because she constantly chewed on her hooves. Hard Case trots around the whole kitchen without adding any more of his dumb demerits, and it looks like we are in the clear until he opens the fridge and lets out a filly's scream. "W-What? What is this thing ?!"
I peek past Hard Case's head to spot Gummy sitting behind a mixing bowl. "Oh, that's not a thing. That's Gummy." I picked up my little helper and tucked him safely into my mane. "What did Mama tell you about locking yourself in the fridge?"
I turn back to see Mrs. Cake helping Hard Case off the floor. But he pulls his hoof away and starts writing fast on his paper. "Dermerits. Cross Contamination! I don't know why such a creature is inside the fridge. But it is not a standard pet, nor should it be anywhere near the food! In less than a few short minutes, I already have issued three. I believe you are familiar with the three-strike rule, Mrs Cake?"
"Oh, is it like a game of Stableshift?" I asked.
"No, Pinkie. It means he can shut down the store." Mrs Cake hissed while I gasped. "Please Mister Hard Case. This business is my family's whole life. We can't lose it! How else will we support our newborn foals?"
"You're going to close the bakery...?" I whispered in a small voice.
"I cannot in good conscience allow this bakery to continue functioning with such incompetent employees and hazardous elements to public safety!" Hard Case stated. "Besides, you have made enough bits to start over somewhere else. My suggestion would be to hire comment help."
I shrank back, knowing he was talking about me. "But, nopony has ever had a problem with me."
Miss Cake threw herself at Hard Case's hooves with tears in her eyes. Was this my fault? "Please, Mister Hard Case, we put all our savings into this dream! We just started saving again, and it is nowhere near enough to start all over! We were going to pass our store down to our foals! Please, there has to be some way to get a better review!"
Hard Case smiles at Mrs Cake, but something feels off. He leans down and whispers to her while Mrs Cake shudders. "Do you find my proposal acceptable? I have a lot of influence and can make this meeting go away quickly."
Mrs Cake looked desperate as she got up and turned to me. "Pinkie, deary, I will leave with a Hard Case about changing the review. Please continue to operate the register. Keep our customers smiling."
"Oh, is there anything I can do to help?" I asked hopefully.
If I could make up for the mistake, I would gladly do it. But Mrs Cake shot me down. "NO!!! I mean, no deary. I can handle this." Mrs Cake turns to Hard Case. "Just me. You don't have to worry about a thing."
"Hmm, a shame. We might've found a use for a mare like yourself, but Mrs Cake is adamant about saving her shop. Come along, Mrs Cake."
I sent Mrs. Cake a small wave as she and Hard Case left the kitchen while I returned up front. It was an hour later before Mrs. Cake and Hard Case came back. Hard Case was smiling for the first since he came inside. But Mrs Cake's smile was more forced, and she looked tired. When she joined my side, Hard Case stood before the counter. "Well, I can let you off with a little warning this time. But I will visit monthly to ensure you have earned this positive rating."
"That's great. Good job, Mrs. Cake!" I beamed. But my smile slowly fell when I saw Mrs Cake looking more scared than happy.
"Yes, Mrs Cake. Despite the mishaps of your hyperactive employee, you've put a smile on my face."
"...A Little Candy Too..."
Author's Note
It's late for the show, but it's good to go. Happy Halloween, everybody.
"...A Little Candy Too..."
[Canterlot Dungeons - 12 days till execution - Lending Voice POV.]
"I must say that your tale is unsettling, Miss Pie. Did you truly not understand what was happening at that moment?" I etched Pinkie Pie's tale into my notepad as I sat outside her cell. The guards had pulled out all the stops with her restraints. A large iron yoke held her frame down to the floor. All her limbs had a chain link bolted to each corner of the cell. It ensured that Pinkie Pie had little room to move. Princess Celestia had personally seen to it that each cell wall had a rune that would emit a high-frequency sound should Pinkie Pie make any escape attempts. I heard stories that King Sombra used magic to 're-educate' his dissenters. Many of his captives were left deaf.
"I sure didn't, doc. I was too busy being silly old Pinkie Pie. I had no idea Hard Case was having a private party session with Mrs cake until three months later. I found Mrs Cake cruddling the twins while crying her eyes out. She kept going on and on about how she was a horrible mother and all that jazz. It isn't true, of course. I made sure she knew that! It was easy bringing him into the basement for a party session with each other-- just a small flick of the tail and batting my eyes like Rarity, and he was pudding in my hooves. Although. I don't think he can say he liked the smile I gave him over Mrs. Cake."
"...And that was the start of your - let's call it extracurricular activities - the start of Bloody Pastry Baker."
"Hehehe. That's a silly name for my work. I don't think it's any different from the usual smiles I bring to ponies."
I shifted about, uncomfortable at her gleeful tone. "Miss Pie--"
"Hey, Miss Pie was my Grandmama. Pinkie is fine."
"...Yes, Pinkie. I hope you realize that many ponies would disagree with your idea of bringing smiles to ponies. You fed ponies to other ponies for months. It is safe to say that most Equestria can be called victims of your baked goods."
"Hmm, that's weird. I didn't see anypony complaining after eating my baked goods."
"That's because they didn't know what they were eating!" I may have put too much force in my tone as Pinkie glances at me strangely.
"So, what? Ponies are upset with my secret ingredients?"
"We are herbivores, not carnivores, Pinkie Pie! Equines are not flesh eaters like griffons, dragons, and timberwolves. You have effectively forced us to be cannibals!"
"Well, if you stop and think for a second, maybe ponies can eat meat, but in a different way. If I had never gotten caught, nopony would've known any better. And, if we honestly didn't like meat, wouldn't ponies have figured out something was wrong a lot faster?"
I had to pause momentarily as what Miss Pie was saying made horrifying sense. "Y-You masked the taste somehow."
"Did I, though? I know from a friend in Manehattan who works in a butcher shop that the smell and taste of blood don't go away quickly unless you cook it. The taste is hard to miss, and you can't flood a pastry with too much sugar, or it will be too sweet. I had to think about every customer that came by the shop." Under the darkness of her cell, Miss Pie's signature smile resembled that of a demon than a pony. "I think a lot of ponies are lying to themselves."
I felt myself sweating profusely. The very idea that ponies would enjoy eating flesh and blood is sickening. I should change the subject. But doing that would give possible merit to Miss Pie's calm, which I deny with every fiber of my being. "I am afraid I have to disagree, Miss Pie. Based on the populations' adverse reactions to what you were feeding us, nopony shares your sentiments. I also know a few chefs here in Canterlot. There are ways to dilute the taste of blood, such as using vinegar, herbs, and citrus juice. There were several stocks of these items in the basement of Sugarecube Corner. But the biggest flaw in your argument is how you obtain your meat. You tortured Ponies, Miss Pie. You hacked, slashed, cut open, beaten, and shocked ponies! You could've ended them quickly, but you delighted in their pain! Why else would you tear off wings, cutie marks, and horns!!!"
I felt myself lose a bit of composure after my rant. Strangely, Miss did not react detrimentally. She merely had a thoughtful expression before responding. "Alright, alright. You got me. I may have taken the preparation process a bit more personally. But can you blame me? Those ponies were all a lot like Hard Case, who take advantage of others and don't care if their actions hurt anypony else. Mrs Cake wasn't the first one, you know. Hard Case had all sorts of parties from Canterlot to Manehattan."
"How did you discover this?" Princess Celestia's protege told me that Pinkie Pie possesses strange and unpredictable abilities despite being an Earth pony. When interviewing the residents of Ponyville about this subject, all I got as an answer was 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.'
"I just put on my deceptive hat and bagpipe and did some excellent old sleuthing. Did you know many ponies don't have locks on their doors? Hay, there are no locks at all in some places. Weird, right? Anywho, I found a whole folder of party guests in Hard Case's house. It had photos and gem recorders. I think I have one of them. Hold on..."
I didn't know what I expected when Miss Pie regurgitated the recorder gem. But, it played out a scene of Hard Case post-coitus as a reluctant young mare services him. I quickly pick the gem up with my magic and turn it off, unable to hide my disgust towards the stallion. "...Even if Equestria is better off without such a stallion trotting around, why did you not turn in the evidence you found to the royal guard? Hard Case would've faced proper justice under the scrutiny of the crown."
"Because ponies like Hard Case have a knack for getting out of trouble. Some of those pictures and recorders are super duper old. If nopony caught before me, then they never would have. And between you and me, the royal guard has been pretty useless regarding threats. I want to say they try their best, but they have to try in the first place."
"It still did not have to be you, specifically."
"Of course, it had to be me. Nopony else had my Pinkie sense. It comes in handy, sniffing out the grumpy ponies. It would've been impossible to keep the pastries going if I did not have my Pinkie sense. The real nasty ponies are good at hiding if you don't know where to look. Hay, Spoiled Rich was right in Ponyville messing up the grades of fillies and coats she thought were lost causes. And she was always frowning around everypony. That's why my work is important. Even if you are a grump, a part of you can always make someone smile. Hahaha, it's funny. She used to be called Spoiled Milk, but she made a fine milkshake."
I swallow a lump as another question pops into my head. "...How is it that you were able to make so many prominent ponies disappear without anypony noticing?"
"Oh, that part was easy. My trusty little assistant, Applebloom, is good at making potions with our friend Zecora. I just asked her to whip up something that slightly tweaks the memory. I had to tell it to her to help me forget some bad nightmares so Zecora wouldn't come snooping around. From there, I would go to the pony's homes and make them forget about any missing ponies popping up. That also meant taking photos of my helpers. That part is always a hassle. The effects of the potion last for a few weeks. Just enough time to make and mix more into the regular pastries."
The temptation to ask if Pinkie Pie is an Earth pony was staggering because none of this sounded possible. "How can you be okay with involving a filly?"
"I had everything premade the night before we opened up. I didn't have Applebloom do anything besides mixing the bowl. She wouldn't get it. What's that old saying again? Ignorance is bliss. It helps when ponies don't remember the ingredients, especially if they learned how big of a meanie the missing ponies were. Like Rumble's brother. Permit Twist's nanny. Cranky doodles' wife. Your husband. That would've made ponies sad, which is the opposite of what I want!"
I checked my pocket watch to see if it was a quarter past four. "It looks like our time is almost up, so I'll ask one more question: why did you maim Rainbow Dash? She was one of your friends - a fellow element bearer - and the furthest thing from a 'grumpy' and 'meanie.' And I don't believe it was because she didn't like one of your pies. I am sure you had plenty of ponies that changed their minds about certain foods."
For the first time since this session started, Miss Pie went silent. There were no catty remarks, no spontaneous giggling, just silence. This sudden quietness was the most disturbing of all the dialogue we exchanged. "You know, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes, I wish I was still past Pinkie. Present Pinkie can't have as much fun. The one that made Dashie blow me off."
"Who? Who are you talking about?"
"I can practically taste the wild favor from cupcake that meanie would've been. Well, maybe more like a crumcake. That would match 'cool personality' better. Yeah, a brown cinnamon cake with white frosting and purple trimming along the sides."
Pinkie Pie started to drool from this cake. Was this another unknown victim? The way she talks makes me believe somepony else managed to escape. "Miss Pie. You agreed to be upfront with me. Who is this pony?"
"Excuse me, doctor. Your time is up." A guard said as she came to escort me out.
"W-Wait, I still have questions."
"Princess Celestia was very clear about the time frame, Doctor Voice. Let's go." The guard said again.
"It's okay, doc. Remember what I said about ignorance and all that? I appreciate you talking with me. I'm glad I could help out with your marriage problems." Pinkie said as the guard began to pull me away.
"What? But I'm not married!!!"
"Oh, right, the potion's effects sometimes last longer for different ponies than others. You'll probably find out any day now. At least you got something good from that cheater with the cookies."
A rising panic starts to fill my chest. I never ate from the bakery; my only cookies were in my bag, delivered to my house a week before Miss Pie's capture. Something clicked as I shuddered at the name of those cookies. "...Cinnamon Chocolate...?!"
"...Let's Throw In Two More..."
[Canterlot - Shining Armor's Office - Shining POV.]
"The first guard is ready for you, Captain." Raven Inkwell said.
"Thank you, Inkwell. How is Princess Luna doing?"
"She's going to make a full recovery. Her alicorn biology and Equestria's best healers had already regrown her crushed orbital socket. She's blind in her left eye, but the doctor says her vision may return. But, there will be scarring around the skin."
"Scarring?" I arched a brow at that.
"The doctors can't explain it. Pinkie shouldn't have been able to hurt her in the first place. Yet, Princess Luna still sits in the infirmary."
"I sighed as the first guard walked into my office. "This whole situation is beyond the pale. Please keep me updated. Cadance is almost beside herself with worry. She wants to cut her studies in Prance and come back. Thankfully, I managed to rebuff her concerns until after the execution. But we're all worried about Twilight. I'll try to speak with her later." I turned to the guard, who was patiently waiting as Inkerll left. "Alright, name and rank, solder."
"Sergent Crack Hooves, sir."
"Ah, hello again, Sergent. I remember you during the changeling invasion reports. It says you protected an orphanage from at least two dozen buggers. You performed admirably during that crisis."
"Thank you, sir. It was no trouble. If I may ask, captain, why did you want to see me?"
"I wanted to give a psyche val on every pony that worked in the Ponyville case. From the pictures and reactions from ponies, I want to ensure my guards are mentally well."
The Sergent lets out a bitter chuckle. "During the invasion, some of the buggers would disguise themselves as little fillies and coats to throw off our battalion and set up ambushes. It's scary how effective of a tactic it was. I mean, who would ever suspect a foal of any evil? Oh, I still remember this little unicorn coming out to me. I would've called her adorable if the situation wasn't dire. Capricorn was the name it gave us. She told my squadron that her mom got hurt when the shield fell. Naturally, the royal guard responded. We followed the filly to the dead-end alleyway. When I went to ask where her parents were, Capricorn stood before us, not saying a word. It wasn't until we heard several hissing that we saw the trap. Capricorn whirled on us as the changeling came crawling down the walls. Her eyes went from a violent tinge to a pale swamp green while green fire enveloped her, turning her into another changeling. That tactic almost cost me my squad."
"And how did you get away?"
The Sergeant's face smiles as he explains, "I fired a third-tier concussive wave right in the center of them. It gave my squad enough time to pull out." The smile leaves as soon as it comes as the Sergeant continues. "Of course, trust between our follow ponies broke down after that. Every pony that wasn't in our squad became a suspect of suspicion. Trying to maintain order was useless as every action anypony took came under suctintity. If you disappeared, you were a bugger. If you called out for help and tried to lead a guard somewhere, you were a bugger. It got so bad that one of the privates almost assaulted a real family before that force field kicked all the changelings out of Canterlot. Thank you for that, sir."
"Just doing my duty. And I am sorry. If I hadn't been compromised or listened to my sister's concerns, I would've spared a lot of ponies some trauma."
The Sergeant let out a chuckle as I looked at him, perplexed. "I bet it wasn't much trauma for you, sir. After all, you had two brides that day.'
"Haha, yeah, a wedding and a separation. With no alimony payments to Chrysalis, I'd say I'm the luckiest stallion in Equestria." We both laughed for a bit before I recomposed. "As much fun as this conversation is, we are going off-topic. How does the changeling invasion correlate with the Ponyville indecent?"
Sergeant Crack Hooves looks down in silence with a vacant look. "...I was on the responding team for the incident. I was covering a shift for a friend over there. Swift Charger. She called out sick for a whole week. I laughed since she swore that she would never take any sick days. And here she was, finally getting sick. I thought nothing of it until Princess Luna ordered us to investigate the premises and apprehend the suspect. The details were fuzzy as the Princess had a gag order on us the entire time. Then, when we finally got inside Sugarcube Corner..."
"Sergeant?" I called out.
"I'm sorry. When we got there and found your sister standing over her fellow element bearer in that room of horrors, I discovered my sick friend. Or rather, I saw her wings. It-It was a part of that disgusting cloak the suspect made!"
"Are you sure it was hers? For confirmation's sake?" I said as gently as I could.
"Her primary feathers had a dark purple shading around the tips. It's a rare trait for Pegasi to have. Swift said she would've been an ace Wonderbolt flyer if she weren't in the guard. She served the royal guard for five years! Five years of sleepless nights and dedication to the crown. She was up for promotion next week. Next Bucking Week!!!" Several tears fell as the Sergeant pounds his hoof against the desk.
"...I heard about Swift Charger. She was an exemplary mare."
"It's not right! After all her hard work, all that's left of her is a slab of flesh and a cutie mark. It wasn't even an enemy of the state, Nightmare Moon, changelings, or Discord that got her. It was our national hero. The one that is supposed to bring joy to everypony! I don't-- I can't understand it! All of this doesn't seem real. Sometimes, I believe that the buggers captured me back during the invasion, draining me dry in one of those pods while I go through some twisted fever dream!!!"
By now, Sergeant Crack Hooves is openly sobbing for his loss. I went over and patted him on the back. "Words can't express my condolences. But I swear that Swift Charger will receive the honest honors for her service. For now, I am putting you on paid leave. Take some time to rest and get your head right. If you still want to talk, all the high officers offer these sessions to everypony involved."
Sergeant Crack Hooves could only weakly nod as I helped him out of the office. "You know what the worst part about all this?"
"What's that, Sergeant?"
It was then Crack Hooves sent me the most haunting look all day. "When you corner a changeling, they change back to proper form. It's almost becoming a pride for them to take you out in their natural state."
"Maybe it's to add the intimidation against their prey, with the fangs and bug-like appearance," I added, but the Sergeant shook his head.
"No, it feels more like they enjoy you looking at them like that like there's a thrill to being out in the open or being honest about their intent. With Pinkie Pie, even unconscious and peaceful looking, I could tell she was still lying about her nature. That makes her worse than the buggers."
With that said, Crack Hooves left my office. I stood there digesting his words while trotting back to my desk. I met Pinkie Pie at my wedding. I read all the letters Twilight sent about her friends. And nothing from the letters and meeting the mare tipped me off to the predator hiding in plain sight. As the next guard comes inside, I only hope Twilight is handling things better than I am right now.
"...Don't Forget Extra Sprinkles..."
Author's Note
Sorry, this is late. I've been sick with this cough and chest congestion. Nasty stuff.
"...Don't Forget Extra Sprinkles..."
[Sweet Apple Acres - Apple Homestead - Applejack's POV.]
"Hehe, girls. What are you doing here?" The pink demon said. I couldn't make out her features. It looked and sounded like Pinkie, but it wasn't. Her body is without color, like one of those information films on the telly. Pointy little digits stuck out of her hooves. I reckon it's for holding all the knives in the gaps. Then, there's her mane and tail. It's red instead of pink, and it constantly keeps oozing blood. But it's her eyes and muzzle that got me shaking the most. Her teeth look sharper than a manicore's, with bits of cupcakes and fleshy bits stuck between them. Her eyes are sunken inside her skull, glowing a bright, eerie blue. The thing looks at us and then back to Rainbow before it giggles. "Oh, I get it. You girls are part crashers."
"P-Pinkie Pie?" Twilight said. "What are you doing to Rainbow?!!"
"Y-Yall get away from here, ya hear!"
"...H-Help me..." I could hardly bear to see RD like this. How was she even alive with her belly slit open?!
"Why would I do that? It's a party! And even though she is the guest of honor..." The pink demon reaches into Rd, making her groan in pain before pulling out a butcher knife. "...A party is only fun with many guests!!!
The pink demon swung the knife, and I woke up with a start. "NOOO!!!" I groaned while shifting around on my bed like an earthworm on hot sand. Running a hoof through my mane, I am sweating worse than the hogs at high noon. It took a minute to breathe before I got off my bed. As I got to my mirror, my hoof clattered against empty bottles of hard apple cider on the floor. "Hehe, look at you, sugarcube. You're a right mess. Granny would have a fit." Another look at my bloodshot eyes and messy mane made me chuckle. "...Not that you give a hoot these days..." I fished out a bottle of hard cider from my dresser and left my room.
On my way to the kitchen, I passed Applebloom's room. I could hear her whimpering something awful: more nightmares, no doubt, and no Princess Luna to shew them away. I knew the cause, of course. It's the same reason for hitting the cider so often now. I reach out to her door but pull my hoof back. I doubt a few comforting words will take away Applebloom's guilt. I figure Mac will be up soon, and he'll handle things. I finally got to the table, and Granny was already preparing breakfast. I took a swig of cider. I tell you, I was doing my best to keep quiet, but Granny's ears haven't failed her yet as she comes strolling into the room with two glasses and a stern look.
"Here ya go." Granny flatly said.
"What's this?"
"Sweet surprise."
I eyeballed the drink before looking at Granny's smiling face. I drank down Sweet Surprise and regretted that decision real quick. When that liquid hit my stomach, I almost blew chunks right before Granny. I had to slap my muzzle when the bile started to rise. I heard something slide from underneath the table and saw Granny pushing a bucket to me. The message is loud and clear as I upchucked into the bucket for hours. When I finally came back up, I shot Granny a confused look. "What the hay, Granny?!"
"Uhmm-hmm, just as I thought. Somepiny's been hitting a stash of hard cider. Good old Sweet Surprise is the best hangover cure; you can't be sick if you have nothing in your gullet."
"That doesn't excuse nearly poisoning me!"
"But are you free to clean us out before cider season?" I buttoned up my trap as Granny continued. "Applejack, you've never been one for heavy drinking or poor hygiene. Look at you. It's like you want five rounds with a pack of manticores."
"...It's not that bad..." Granny arches a brow at me. "Okay, it's pretty bad, and I'm sorry for sneaking the cider. It's just..."
"Pinkie Pie." I never heard Granny say a name with so much venom. "She's lucky the guard hauled her off while I was out of town. Imagine involving Applebloom with that savagery. They would've had to toss me in the clink 'cause she wouldn't make it to trial!!!"
I slammed my hooves on the table while white-hot anger flashed through me. "Granny, she's my friend!!!"
"She was your friend and mind how you speak, little filly!" I slump back on my chair in shame. Now, I'm raising my voice at Granny. What's happening here? Now, I am not one for openly crying, but darn it, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Granny comes to my side and hugs me. "I'm sorry to say that, hon. It's hard for me to swallow as well. Pinkie was a sweet filly. Nopony saw any of this foulness coming. But, as bad as you feel, your sister is up there thinking she's been doing the killing. She's done all terrible things to ponies. You got to help set her straight. But you can't do that by drinking yourself silly. Do you remember our family motto, right?"
"Apples ain't quitters." I nod my head.
"Good, now let's go see your sister. I'm sure Big Mac's already got a head start on us."
The trot is short to Applebloom's room as, sure enough, Big Mac is there cradling our sister as she cries her heart out. It broke my heart to look at her like this. Granny and I move to surround her as Applebloom speaks through her sobbing. "I-It's my fault! I-I hurt those ponies! I helped kill them!!!"
"Hey, there, Sugacube. You know that's a bunch of nonsense. You didn't touch a single hide or mane on any of those ponies." I said tenderly.
"Yes, I did. I gave Pinkie the portions to knock them out and make the ponies forget. I mixed the bowls full of smashed-up ponies and baked them! I did it. I did all of it!!!"
I looked between Big Mac and Granny, who urged me on as I spoke softly. "Applebloom, look at me." My gentle prodding caused her to do as I asked. Her eyes were somehow more bloodshot than mine. "Heh, look at that; we match." Despite my drinking, Applebloom is looking worse off than I am. "You did not know why Pinkie needed their potions. You did not lure ponies into that basement. You did not do all those horrible things to those ponies. That was all Pinkie Pie."
Applebloom shifts in Big Mac's forehooves while responding. "But why? Why did Pinkie do any of this?"
"...I wish I knew, sugarcube. Better minds than me will be able to figure this out. But that's not what's important. What is important is that you know that we are here for you. We're here for each other like any good apple in a bunch should be, and don't you ever forget it."
"Darn tooting." Granny smiles.
"Eeyup." Big Mac smiles as well.
As Applebloom prompted a big hug from the family, a part of me hoped that what was happening to Pinkie wasn't done with her knowing. Maybe a pony with a better mind has got this mess sorted. Perhaps it's time I visit Twilight.
Author's Note
Okay, first off. I am sorry this is late. I'm having some stressful times right now. But, hey, Merry Christmas
"...And Some Caramel..."
[Rarity's Boutique - Work Room - Rarity's POV.]
"Ah, dear, it's time to clean the catalog again," I signed. Honestly, I wouldn't need to do this every so often if I didn't create so much in my downtime. Oh, well. There is no time like the present. I opened my closet to reveal three clothing racks from past seasons, galas, and other functions. Three racks of ensembles lay before me. "Oh, dear. I might be here a while." I had to shake my head at my impulsiveness. I took each dress out one by one and neatly packed them away for charity. One does not waste clothes after all. It wasn't until I got to a particular dress I made for the last Grand Glapping Gala. "O-Oh my! This dress is Pinkie's!!!"
I clutched the dress in my hooves as my magic failed me. I still remember when she made the request. For some reason, I struggled more with her dress than the others. Did she claim any lives when she asked me to make this? Or was she attempting to act like an average mare for one night? I remember when the word got out of Pinkie's atrocities. The journalist camped out of my home—the questioning from the royal guards. And the horrid gossip about us somehow being involved with the murders by association! I gritted my teeth and took every article of clothing I made for that monster. Once collected, I took the bin and went out of my home. I made a small flare spell before shooting it into the bin and watched my former friend's dresses go up in flames.
Unfortunately, I was not as quiet as I believed because the door behind me opened to reveal Fluttershy. The poor dear hasn't been able to stay at home, even with her little critters. There's also the paparazzi, the questioning, and the whispers and glares. Fluttershy's just been a bundle of nerves for this entire ordeal. "R-Rarity? Why are you burning your dresses?"
"Oh, I am sorry, dear. I didn't mean to wake you. You can go back inside. This endeavor won't take long."
Fluttershy did not go back inside. Instead, she trots to me and sits down while observing the bin. "...You're burning Pinkie's dresses?"
"Well, you know it is around the time for me to clean out the collection," I said.
"But you would never do something like this. You're so proud of your work. I can't even imagine you even thinking about burning it. Especially if it's one of our fri--"
"That monster is not our friend!!!" I shouted, causing Fluttershy to flinch. I sighed as I went to hug her. "I am sorry for yelling, but I cannot in good conscience think of that mare as a friend any longer. Not after the killings. Not after what she did to Rainbow Dash."
Fluttershy shivers in my embrace at the reminder. "I-I know. I should accept things as they are now. But what if this wasn't Pinkie's fault? What if this was a changeling disguising themselves as her?"
"Changelings feed on love, darling. What good would it do to kill their prey?"
"It could be Chrysalis seeking revenge!"
"Why would she wait so long to get to us then? Why kill random ponies when Twilight, Cadence, or Shining Armor would be her targets? Besides, Twilight herself confirmed that it is Pinkie Pie."
"W-well, what if she's under a spell like mind control?"
That could be a possibility. We haven't heard anything from Canterlot regarding a psychiatric report. Then again, I imagine Princess Luna's health will take precedence. "...I suppose that is possible. Chrysalis could've planted a spell. And I did hear Twilight say she is looking into the subject."
"Then, we should go to her. After all this time, Twilight must've found something out. We should hurry to her Library now!" Fluttershy said with determination.
I sigh as I watch the fire die down, leaving scorched tatters of clothing. "Yes, let's visit Twilight. I imagine she could also use some company."
Our walk took slightly longer than usual as there were a few ponies up and about in the streets. I knew Fluttershy and was hardly in the mood to deal with the staring and whispers, so I suggested we move through the buildings for cover until we reached Golden Oaks Library's back door. With a few knocks, Spike answered the door and greeted us with a warm hug. Poor dear. "Spike, what happened to you, darling? You look ragged."
"...Yeah, things are rough right now."
"We're happy to see you, Spike. Do you know where Twilight is?" Fluttershy asked.
Spiky-Wiky rubs his arm while looking away from us. "She's taking everything hard. You should see for yourselves..." Fluttershy and I share a look as Spike leads us to Twilight's location. We found her in her study in the basement, with various scrolls and books on the floor. The room is in complete disarray. Looking at the desk, we saw Twilight. She was fretting over some beakers encased in her aura. Whatever experiment she is performing must not be going well, as I can see signs of a frayed mane and tail, a dirty coat, and a distinctive smell from lack of bathing. "See what I mean."
"Oh, goodness. Twilight, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, no. It's not right." Twilight mumbles.
We all share a look before I press forward and tap her shoulder. "Twilight, it's us. Flutteshy, Spike, Rarity. Your friends are here--"
Twilight instantly spun around to face. There is a distinctly manic expression in her eyes. "Friends?! No, no! It's too early. You can't be here yet. You'll ruin the surprise!"
"Um, surprise?" Fluttershy asked tentatively.
"Yes, I plan for the surprise when I finally crack the spell over Pinkie Pie. Granted, Pinkie is always better at surprise parties. She should plan it after the birthday fiasco. Look at my beakers."
We did as Twilight asked and looked over her desk. Inside the three beakers, there was some strange liquid. One was sickly green, the other purple with orange spots, and the last vibrant pink. "Are you making a new juice flavor?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, these beakers hold concentrated magic in its purest form. They are samples from a changeling, Discord, and Pinkie Pie."
"Twilight has been here for days running tests on Pinkie's magic," Spike informs.
I may not be as magically knowledgeable as Twilight, but I can piece together the puzzle. "Are you attempting to see if Pinkie is in the right frame of mind?"
"Really? That's wonderful! We can help Pinkie before it's too late." Fluttershy exclaimed while I shared her sentiments. However, Spike looks away in shame, and Twilight grows more frantic.
"Twilight?" I asked.
"Well, I'm testing the magical properties of changeling and Draconequus. First, I did a test on the changeling magic." Twilight's horn glowed as she shot a stream of magic at the vial with changeling magic. The magic seems to distort before settling down. "See? That spell causes a function within a changeling, forcing them to drop their disguise. Now, watch the effect Discord's magic has on pony magic." Twilight summons another vial and adds Discord chaos magic to it. The pony magic turned gray. "Discord's chaos magic can corrupt the average pony's magic, and the pony would visibly turn gray while displaying an inversion of their personality traits. It's the same as when he did it to us."
"Please. Let's not bring up that unpleasantness." I said with a cringe.
"Oh yeah, like when you pushed around a big rock because you thought it was a giant gemstone. Or when Fluttershy became mean and nasty.
"I said we will not mention that incident again!" Fluttershy nods behind her wing in embarrassment as well.
"Knowing all these factors, I connected the Princess. She told me that Pinkie Pie isn't a change. My magical simple isn't corrupt, nor are there any lingering spells or commands within Pinkie right now..."
Twilight pauses as she begins to tremble. "W-What does that mean, Twilight?" Fluttershy asked in a small voice.
"It means that Pinkie did it," SSpike said in a dead tone. "Pinkie is the one that did those things to the other ponies. Nopony made her do it. It was all her..."
"Oh no!" Fluttershy said in horror as she shrinks into her mane.
I was about to comfort her before Twilight spoke up again. "It's alright, Fluttershy. All of this is just a bad dream, anyway."
We all looked at Twilight as if she had become a hydra. "Twilight, what are you talking about?" Spike asks in concern.
"Oh, come on, Spike. I think the game has gone on far enough. If we look at all the facts, they point to this scenario as nothing more than a horrible nightmare!"
"A nightmare?" The three of us said together.
"It's the only scenario that makes the most logical sense. Think about it; all the murdered ponies had friends and family that were all across Equestria. Eventually, somepony would've noticed the disappearances. Sure, Pinkie said she tampered with their memories, but not even she could do that to so many ponies without notice."
"Twilight," I called, but she ignored me.
"Then, there's the murders themselves. Not only are they wildly out of character, but it's impossible that all this occurred under Sugarcube Corner, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake did not notice anything once. Ha! Next, you'll tell me they and the cake twins are somehow accomplices."
"Twilight, the Cakes got taken into custody a few days ago. Princess Celestia is serious about getting to the bottom of this mess. The twins are in foster care until further notice." Spike solemnly said.
"I had no idea!" I gasped.
"The poor foals! How could this happen?" Fluttershy said.
To my surprise, Twilight waves it off. "Pfft, of course, the Nightmare would adjust its conditions to distract me. It doesn't matter. I am sure Princess Luna is bound to swing by sooner or later and finally wake me up."
Oh, dear. Twilight is compartmentalizing everything all wrong. I moved closer to Twilight and placed a firm hoof on her shoulder. "Darling, we're not dreaming."
"Of course, it's all a dream. It's the only thing that can explain the irregularities."
"Okay, how long have you been researching these magics? I imagine from the moment you found Pinkie, yes?"
"Yes,"
"Alright, and surely you have gone to sleep at some point, correct?"
"No, trying to figure this out was far too important."
"I had to slip sleeping pills in her coffee when she refused to listen," Spike said with a frown.
"Ha, see? That proves everything that's happening is a dream."
"Twilight, I started using the pills after the third day."
"Regardless, Twilight, don't you think this is far too complex for a simple dream?" I asked as Twilight seemed to later.
"Yes, and this situation can't be a recurring dream since things are changing daily," Fluttershy said.
"And Princess Luna would not let anypony suffer a nightmare like this for days at a time." Spike made a good point.
Twilight grew more frantic as she looked between us. "W-Well, maybe we never defeated Nightmare Moon! Perhaps we lost, and she has all locked up somewhere."
"Why would Nightmare be fine with letting Princess Celestia rule even in a dream? Wouldn't she want us to know that we failed?" I countered.
"S-She must be torturing us individually! Of course, she would target me the most. I discovered her plan to return. I led the girls into the Everfree forest and the elements. I--"
*Slap*
I could no longer stand this as I swiftly brought my hoof across my friend's face. Twilight looks positively in shock, and I am sure Spike and Fluttershy are equally surprised by my actions. It took all I had to keep my voice steady as tears started to form. "If this was a dream, would you feel any pain?"
"I-I, you--"
"I am sorry, Twilight. Truly, I wish I could deny everything as well. But you are the smartest of us. And you know, going on like this isn't very reasonable. It is a bitter pill we all have to swallow. But, it is a reality we must accept. Pinkie Pie is--"
"NO!!! I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!? ACCEPTING THAT EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING WOULD BE BETRAYING OUR FRIENDSHIP! IT WOULD BELITTLE EVERYTHING WE ACCOMPLISH AS FRIENDS! PINKIE ISN'T A KILLER!!!!"
