No way José!

Chapter 2: MUSSSTARRRDDDDDDDDD

"Bilatibay! Ano man ni nga eskwelahan man?!"

.
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|A day after the interview|

"Now we see here that crime rates have surprisingly spiked this month, as news of terrorist attacks across the country seemed to have emboldened criminals-"

"This is boring." Trixie mumbled under his breath.

He was currently in his home, watching T.V while munching on popcorn that he bought from the supermarket last summer. His home, to him atleast, was a little two story cottage that his father bought him.

The home was a fairly large house, with the exterior of the home looking like a mix of american style wooden houses and modern houses that Trixie is convinced are money laundering schemes. The windows was mainly where the modern house aesthetic showed itself, with them being big planes of glass that made the house look vulnerable and unsafe.

The glass was made to withstand bullets and was enchanted to hell and back.

All of that is without mentioning the backyard that's the size of three houses. So, overall, it wasn't really a cottage that Trixie thought it was.

"Now onto more lighthearted news, it seems that the Union of Creatures has announced a student exchange program with the United States. While the school is unknown due to privacy reasons, it is confirmed that the student is the russian academic Sun- Bzzz"

"Wonder what's on channel 57.9..." Trixie said, yawning at the end due to boredom

While school was only a day away, Trixie couldn't help but not be excited. Now, he always heard from hus parents and literally everybody else that, "Highschool is the best time of your life!" he really didn't believe that.

'I mean, really? School? A good time? Those words do not combine.' Trixie thought.

"Good morning, young master." A voice from just behind him spoke up, somewhere around in the kitchen. "I see that you're excited for highschool."

"Really, Moon? Me? Excited?" Trixie said to Moondancer. Her name was too long, so Trixie ended up shortening her name.

"Yes. Proven by the fact that you're eating popcorn, instead of your usual chicken wings." Moondancer replied, grabbing a pan and starting to prepare breakfast. "And by the fact that you're not snoozing up in our bedroom."

"Well... I guess you're right, Moon." Trixie said, now walking up to Moon and looking over her shoulder.

"As always." She said, with a neutral expression. "And before you ask, I'm making toast."

Trixie snickered behind her back, before helping her prepare breakfast. "You know me too well, Moon."

As they were silently preparing breakfast, Trixie had an uncharacteristic serious expression, seemingly using his brain for once.

"What is ailing your conscious, young master?" Moon said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Your way of speaking that's what." Trixie angrily grumbled.

"Now, now, young master. Be serious." Moon replied, already knowing that Trixie's complaint was a joke.

"Fine." Trixie huffed. "It's because of the magic test that's gonna happen tomorrow."

"And why is that worrying you?"

"It's... Remember my last magic test?" Trixie said, looking away from Moon.

"Yes, yes. Oh how I remember it as clear as day." Moon said softly. "You were bawling your eyes out while your parents tried to comfort you. Getting a completely black reading is devastating, a zero..."

"Yeah..." Trixie replied, his tone as energetic as a dead fly. "Meanwhile you had a purple reading. I remember hundreds of reporters crashing through the crowd when they saw that."

"Not a pleasant memory. Especially after that other filly got a purple reading." Moon softly replied, the memory making her shiver. It stayed silent after that.

"Remember the jingle kids! Black is sad, blue is right! Yellow then green but purple is might! Remember that kids! Next up, we're going to learn complex algebra!"

A sense of unease crept into that morning, not leaving until the next day.

|Next Day.|

"The program will begin shortly, thank you for waiting."

"Dammit, I can't see from here..." Trixie mumbled under his breath.

"You know, young master. I don't get why you just don't hold on to me while I float." Moon said, floating above Trixie a good few feet. There were many others doing this exact same strategy, and almost all the pegasi were flying.

"You know I'm scared of heights!" Trixie shouted at Moon. "And I'm still mad about you convincing me to wear a FUCKING SKIRT."

"Aww don't be mad now," Moon floated over to Trixie, getting dangerously close to his face. "You look cute young master~"

"... You know you're only smug because it actually works on me, right?" Trixie had an unimpressed look on his face, causing Moon to deflate slightly.

"Can I please just have this one, young master?" Moon grumbled, floating back up to her original position. "And you can't argue back because the program is starting."

"You fucki-"

"Hello, Canterlotians!" A mare teleported onto the stage of the stadium, and announced on the mic.

"HELLO!"

"I see that you're all very excited! For those who don't know me, my name is Celestia L. Star, the head principal of Canterlot High!" Celestia was a outstandingly tall unicorn, clocking in at 6'8ft with a coat so white you could see your future at certain angles. She had a aura of beauty that made the fans of Tailor Swift rethink their allegiance.

After her intro, shouts of praise and adoration filled the air of the stadium, with Celestia awkwardly trying to calm the audience down. After the crowd was fairly tamed, Celestia continued on with her speech. Trixie, being bored, noted that the surrounding ponies around him were familiar in a sense. He could see a rainbow tail flying above him, a stetson far in the distance, a wild boing sound from behind him. All in all, his surroundings was pretty strange.

"But without further ado, since I know all of the students here are quivering with excitement, let's get on with our program!" Trixie blinked owlishly, surprised at himself because he somehow missed an entire speech. A flap of wings alerted him of somepony behind him, and before he could react-

"I see even after elementary you're still wandering in the clouds, young master." Moon giggled behind Trixie, causing him to blush and smack her on the face. "uumph And I see that you're use of violence hasn't changed also."

"Shuddap."

"And to start with our program, we unveil to you..." Celestia suddenly teleported an object covered in a white cloth on top of the stage, infront of the many students. She suddenly grabbed one end of the cloth, and yanked! the cloth off, making hundreds of students gasp in surprise. "The magical tester 9000!™"

The tester was a large statue, easily dwarfing Celestia with it's 10ft structure. The statue was odd, however. It depicted a creature that looked like a Scrabble™ deck of letters formed in a grotesque depiction of what aliens think ponies are. As Trixie looked upwards, he noted the actual thing that was probably used as the tester up on it's claw, with it being a glowing sphere with three smaller circles circling it like a mini solar system. 'That statue is weird... Feels weird... It's like... Trixie thought, before shrugging it off and putting that though under the schizo thinking pile.
Oh how wrong I was
.
"This here statue isn't the actual tester itself, but it's this small sphere here." Celestia explained, levitating the sphere away from the creature's claws and into her hand. "This here sphere determines your magical aptitude when you place your palm on it, while the smaller spheres are here to identify what species you are, lighting up differently for Earth ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns"

"Usually it's more complicated than that." Moon whispered in Trixie's ear. "Since we can technically categorize different species by different metrics."

"We learned this in school Moon." Trixie whispered back.

"I know for a fact you didn't listen to those lessons, young master." She sternly said, causing Trixie to shrink ever so slightly.

"Touche'"
Never learned the meaning
"Now, who will be the first to volunteer?" Celestia asked the crowd. A single yellow hand rose up with confidence. "Oh, we seem to have our first volunteer! What might be your name, miss..."

"Spitfire! Spitfire S. Trail's my name!" The yellow mare proudly proclaimed. With a mighty flap of her wings, she zipped towards the stage and next Celestia.

"Just place your hand here, Spitfire, and we'll see how much magical aptitude you have." Celestia explained.

"Well no shit." Trixie whispered to Moondancer, which the latter replied with a mighty slap on the head of the former.

Spitfire did as she was told and held her hand out towards the orb, her eyes fixated on the rapidly growing orb. It was nothing like she had seen. The orb switched between all of the colors known to human kind as seconds ticked by, until finally...

*Ping!*

The sphere lit up blue, signifying-

"Truly amazing!" Celestia exclaimed. "Spitfire here got Blue! An amazing first result! That signifies that Spitfire here's aptitude for magical is simply wonderful!"

-That Spitfire has a magical aptitude of atleast blue. Blue, while not being the highest, is still a color that many people treat as high level, as many ponies have magical aptitude of gray, which is the middle ground after black.

This will not come up in the test.
It did.
"Heck yeah!" Spitfire exclaimed happily, flying through the air in circles. "I'm the best!"

A cough rung out on the microphone, quickly making Spitfire stop and awkwardly look at Celestia. "Oh... Right. Uh. Yipee?"

"Ahem. Anyways, who wants to go next?" Celestia asked the crowd, which was answered when a few dozen hands shot up. "Well then, what're we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

"C'mon c'mon c'mon..." The cyan mare muttered under her breath, as the sphere lit up and started to identify her magic. "Be as good as Spitfire, be as good at Spitfire..."

*ping!*

"YES!" She soared to the sky in glee, as the sphere lit up blue. "Rainbow Dash is back in action!"

"Well shucks," The orange apple farmer chuckled. "Never even thought ah'd see one o' these."

*Ping!*

"Nice."

"Well, um, I..." The yellow introvert mumbled, before hastily placing her palm on the sphere and closing her eyes.

*Ping!*

"Yay!"
"Heck yeah! Go Fluttershy!"

The meaty breakfast haired girl stared at the sphere, before confidently placing her palm on it. Her eyes were not filled with anticipation, but with concentration.

*Ping!*

"Perfect."

"I shall get you for this, Tia." The unicorn mare muttered under her breath. "No amount of cakes and ice cream shall protect you from me."

*Ping!*

"Here we go..." Trixie mumbled, his- her brrr hands shaking as she placed her palm on the sphere. The sphere that would determine her state in the brand new school.

". . ." The sphere... beeped, making Trixie's anxiety even worse.

*Ping!*

"..." Several gasps and snickers were heard from behind Trixie's back. "Well. You win some you lose some."

Trixie silently walked off the stage, and into the massive out-doors of Canterlot High.

"..." Moondancer silently stared at the sphere, as many others had before her. Though, this time, instead of the usual anticipation or dread that many of the students had in their eyes, Moondancer had anger. Anger at what? Anger at the ball maybe. Though, maybe it was anger to the gods for making her friend and not-weird master be the butt of every joke.

*Ping!*

Purple.

"По матушке России..." The mare mumbled in her mother tongue. "America is wonderful!"

*Ping!*

"Nice." The sunny mare then walked off, not before making some students think they're having a stroke. Two students that look the same is not normal.

"Darrrling," A angelic looking unicorn mare droned, catching the attention of her friend, a bubbly and energetic pink mare. "I know that you're excited but can you please put your palm on the sphere already?"

"But Rarity!" The pink and caffeinated mare whined. "Did you see the others that went before us? There's two mare that look alike! Oh! And there's this one stallion that got a black reading! And a mare that got a purple reading! Oh I'm so excited I could!-"

"Darling. Please."

"Oh fine..." The mare pouted.

*Ping!*

"Yay!" The pink mare exclaimed, before bouncing off to the next area.

"Now for me."

*ping*

"Welcome!" Celestia greeted another student as they walked into the massive outdoors of the school. "Welcome, welcome, welcome, wel—"

"Sheesh, does the principal ever rest?" Trixie asked, looking at Celestia still greeting students one by one. "I mean, it has to get annoying after a while."

"..." Moondancer only stayed silent as she blankly stared ahead, her mind preoccupied with certain thoughts. To this, Trixie only shrugged.

"Eh, you's always calculating when something happens. I'll grab you a coke in the meantime." After that he walked off, leaving Moondancer to her devices.

Though, not far from them, a single green mare's eyes shined as she hastily drew on a notepad. Her lips curving into a devilish grin.

"Perfect..." She mumbled. "A few more hours, and I'll finally show my greatest work yet."

To that, she laughed, before looking around and hastily scurrying off into the crowd like a cockroach. Never to be seen again... Atleast until next chapter.

CHAPTER 2 END

Author's Note

Now, you may ask:

"Why, Depressed, did you not include the magical reading scene last chapter?"

There's multiple reasons.
1: Last chapter was, admittedly, bloated beyond belief. The chapter was... Fine, but if it went longer, the pacing would've gone into deeper shit.

2: I wanted to leave the elementary section of this story ambiguous because, this is me being honest, I can pull plot points out of my fucking rectum. Writing children is not fun, because I do not know what it feels like to be an (american) child.

3: I wanted to focus on highschool and college part of this story. Yes, I could've added more backstory, but I've seen a lot of stories where it did the backstory first, but got canned half way because of motivation issues. This story will hopefully not be that.

So... That's it.

(Eris photo is not mine. I repeat. Not mine. If you are the creator of the image, contact me directly so I can delete the image if you want.)
(Eris photo is also a semi temporary pic, as I want to make my own version. Though, that will probably take a few decades since I don't like working with digital.)

What Trixie looks like

A pony with no magic? Hah! That's only in myths bud. Something that your mum tells you to make you sleep for 8 hours.