A shower always made someone feel like a whole new man, Zeko was slipping on a blue long sleeve shirt and walking down the stairs to his kitchen. He had things to do, food to cook, and his favorite sheep to pamper when she woke up. ‘Scorpion steak and rice, tempura too…’ He didn’t learn how to cook as a kid for nothing, his father taught him well enough to know that a great house husband could make sure his wife was happy. A sweep of his long black hair and he could get to work prepping up his beautiful wife’s breakfast.

Tendrils of sand reached through the kitchen to open every upper cupboard and reveal their stock of ingredients. “Flour, jasmine rice, spices… damn. Might have to go shopping today.” Despite his shorter stature he ever so casually got over tiny inconveniences like reaching cupboards. Zeko opened the fridge door and checked the bottom space to see- “We’ve still got scorpion meat, nice.”

Chopping and slicing meat to prepare for the pan, oil that he placed in while water came to a boil. Zeko was just as comfortable in the kitchen as he was performing his usual work in a lab. He smelled a hint of mint shampoo and immediately knew who was coming into the room. “Koko… you’re cooking already?” His sheep was already in the room and walking up behind him, hugging him from behind and kissing the top of his head affectionately. “Smells tasty.”

“I know it does, Kuku. You’re a really lucky wife, your husband loves getting up and making sure you have a big and filling breakfast.” Among his prideful joking he felt a strange sensation tinge along his back, like something from the past was… going to mildly annoy him. Probably nothing big overall.

“Can you make sure the tempura-”

“Double battered. I know how you love it, hon.” He turned to kiss her on the cheek and let her sit down to rest a bit. Three months of pregnancy was killer on her ankles and he got so upset if she stayed on them too long… even though she was a Jonin ranked shinobi who knew exactly what struggle was. “I love you, Kuebiko.”

“I love you too, Zeko.”

The kitchen went to being filled with the idle noises of Kuebiko messing with her phone and her husband whipping up a filling breakfast for her, his satisfaction at loving his wife would never falter after all. Turning base ingredients into a perfect mix that would leave his wife with a full stomach and properly fed body made him happy beyond belief, and once he finished cooking to set her food for her hungry eyes… he kissed her on the lips.

Kuebiko responded by kissing back with a gentle touch to his face before they separated. “Going somewhere?” She didn’t hesitate to start eating while he threw on his gray overcoat and tied a sash around his waist to make sure his desert attire was finished.

“I’m gonna go shopping, we could use some more things for dinner. I’ll be back soon, Kuku!”

A bright and lovely day where he could walk to the store and grab whatever he needed… after a quick detour to a building in one of the condemned areas. Zeko walked right in the busted door to see the disguised bookshelf he left in front of a wall… Of course it only disguised a stairwell that led to nothing. The real treasure was the moldy rug on the floor that was pulled away and revealed a hatch, which he opened to expose a yelling friend of his.

“MMPHM! MMM! HMMPH!”

A scientist wasn’t much without lab rats, and how kind of the prison of the city nearby to give him their worst of the worst to let him use as test subjects. And it looked like the one he left here from last night was absolutely enjoying how electricity ran through his very bones.

Zeko took notes and made sure to record everything while something buzzed around the restrained prisoner’s face, with a maw of razor sharp teeth that could rip through any flesh in their pathway. “I’m still glad I kept you things. Carnivorous parasprites were an investment.” He scribbled notes while his subject continued struggling and he noticed the smell of… Someone was coming. ‘Guava… Kotetsu.’

Footsteps echoed through the sound of struggling and pained-

“What the fuck are you doing?” His styled hoodie that was slightly too big on him, and the Uchiha fan on the back of it. Kotetsu came down the stairs and saw the- “Motherfucker! Didn’t I tell you to quit cutting shit open in the basement?!”

“I paid for the house. It’s my basement, I can cut open whatever I want.”

“Whose name is on record for the property since you’re not old enough to buy a house here?”

“Who’s dealing with his mom dating a woman?”

Kotetsu’s pulse stopped for a second and he went wide eyed. “Hold up. Wait a minute. What did you say about my mom?” His younger cousin just kept taking notes instead of giving a goddamn answer!

‘The next test will be about the body’s overall performance under extreme shock. I’ll monitor his brain and the sword at my neck.’ He took more of his notes for… “Damn it, Kotetsu…”

Kotetsu had a sword pressed against his cousin’s neck with sharingan blazing in irritation. No issues with holding a sharp blade to a relative’s neck, Kotetsu was happy to get answers like this even on family.

“ZEKO!”

“Yes, I’m Zeko.”

“Who the fuck told you that the old bitch and my hag mom are dating?!”

“HLMM! MMMPHH!”

“Didn’t I say shut the fuck up?!” Kotetsu stomped the bound man right in the family jewels and shut him up… by making him pass out entirely. “Who told you what the hag was up to?!”

“You did.”

The sword slowly came down when the elder cousin came to the realization that he did in fact spill that… “Shit. Whatever, what’s your plan for this nobody when he kicks it? Shion needs food for her kids.”

Zeko shrugged in a gesture that said ‘take him if you want’ and all he did was continue with his notes. “Are we still up to train later? I’ve got plenty of time to spare after I pick up groceries and spend the afternoon with Kuebiko.”

Kotetsu had to remember that his little cousin did get married not long ago. At least it felt like not long ago? A year isn’t that much time. “Yeah. You’re not gonna get fat and lazy again, assclown. This time I’m on you and those stupid fucking eyes. How does it feel having no sharingan?”

“I do have one.”

…

…

“Yes the fuck you don’t.” Kotetsu racked his brain and never remembered the rabbit having a sharingan, he was unlucky enough to skip the Uchiha blessing entirely and jumped to the rinnegan. But Kotetsu wasn’t stupid. Zeko’s turn and flash of red spoke honestly, but unlike Kotetsu’s eyes with red irises against his black and straight tomoe… Zeko had pitch black irises with red straight tomoe like a seven pointed star. “You son of a bitch… How the fuck don’t I remember that?!”

“Akira wiped your memory. You won’t remember.” He set his clipboard down to pull out his phone and send a cute video of cats to his precious sheep with her curly hair. “But I have them.”

“Damn. Where’s the cables? I’m shocking this fucker.”

As Kotetsu looked around for the cables, a bright blue circular portal appeared on the other side of the room opposite to the cousins. The circular portal glowed brightly and hummed. It almost pulsated with power and from the otherside, they could hear footsteps coming closer to the portal. Tip, tap, tip, tap. Slowly and steadily, as if whoever conjured the portal was in no rush to walk through.

Both the Uchiha focused on the portal and mutually detected no danger… but they’d also been tricked by that before. Kotetsu’s sharingan flashed to life and he very quickly overlapped the entire basement with his own kamui, the personal realm where only he was in real control. “Hey, dandy dick. Hurry out of there and tell us what you want.”

As if obliging by Kotetsu’s wishes, a man stepped out of the portal, their wooden sandals meeting the floor. The portal behind him closed soon after, leaving him with the two cousins in front of him. The stranger stood at a height of five-foot-ten and had brown and white robes with brown trim. He had a brown cowl over his head that had “ears” that mimicked a fox. The man had white skin, black eyebrows, eyes, and hair that wasn’t completely shown due to the cowl that covered the top half of his head. He didn’t appear to be older than nineteen, he waved a hand at them and offered them a calm smile. “Hello, Kusanabe Zeko, Uchiha Kotetsu, it’s a pleasure to meet you both. My name is Xavier.”

“Fuck yourself.” Kotetsu was clear and set on this guy ever so casually walking into their, decoy, house. “It’s customary to ask for permission to come into someone’s place, triple that for me so I can slam a door in your face.”

Zeko sighed before taking a chance to lean on the wall behind him. “Ignore him. It takes a lot of power from his words, but he’s right about this not being a walk in house. And you know our names on top of being a dimension jumper. So, who are you… Xavier?”

Xavier raised a hand, “If I may,” he turned to Kotetsu, “Did you not say: ‘hurry out of there and tell us what you want’?” He gestured to where the portal once was. “Technically, you gave me permission to step out of that portal and enter your home, did you not?”

Kotetsu’s movement was imperceptible. From his cousin to Xavier, he pressed his sword against the man’s neck and looked just as displeased as he would with anything else that stood up to disappoint him. “And yet you haven’t explained shit, I didn’t ask for you to tell your name. What. Do. You want, asshole?”

“As much as I hate being on Kotetsu’s side, he didn’t say tell us your name. If you’re a karma user then say so and we can keep this in here for the fight, if you’re not… We still want to know why you’re here.” Zeko held a hand out as a snake with purple and white scales slithered up his arm and stowed away in his hair, he was obviously more peaceful than his cousin but he was just as ready for things to go south.

The calm smile never faded on the man’s face, not even when a sword was pressed up to his neck. “You are correct; I was just getting to that. I am a representative of a Kingdom far, far, far away. The United Equestrian-Eliatropian Kingdom.” He turns over to Zeko, “Does Equestria sound familiar to you, Jinchuriki?”

“Everyone knows I haven’t been Shukaku’s host for years. But Equestria… it’s been more than a year, how are they doing there?”

Kotetsu rolled his eyes and took his sword from Xavier’s throat, only sheathing it since the nobody wasn’t giving him a hostile response… yet. “Gay horse land again? That other me better not be talking about our private shit.”

“I am here but for one reason. To recruit you, Kusanabe Zeko,” Xavier said, his eyes never being off of the ninja. “For a tournament. A Displaced Tournament. There are others like you out there as you know, Zeko. You have fought against one before and their ally, DIO Brando. You are being recruited to fight in an eight-man tournament. Whoever wins gets a wish from the Dragon Balls. It can be any wish as long as it isn’t evil. Immortality, more wishes, to become stronger; things like that are off the table. However, a wish to revive the dead, a wish for an item, a wish even for wealth up to one billion is on the table.” He put his hands behind his back, and took his eyes off of Zeko to glance around the room.

Zeko pondered that idea for a moment and thought about the possibilities. “Wishing for someone to revive, money, a rare item…”

“Those are just examples, mind you, the options are limitless,” Xavier clarified.

“Useless shit.” Kotetsu interjected. “Reviving dumbasses, finding something, and money. Limitless ideas but none of them sound like anything appealing if those are the examples. We’ve pretty much got all the fucking things we need, and the shorty’s happy with his life too.”

Zeko took over again while his cousin… did what he did best. “But, I’m not saying no. If I win, can someone else have my wish? And if I lose… can I stick around to meet other people and learn from them?”

“Of course, our Commanders would love to teach you,” Xavier said, “And I’m sure the other competitors wouldn’t mind teaching you a few things after the tournament is all over.”

“How long is this gonna last?” Zeko stood up straight and crossed his arms, the finer details were important too. “And if it’s more than a day, do I get to come- I’m not even asking, if it’s more than a day I’m not staying away from my wife when she’s still early in pregnancy.”

Kotetsu just had to chime in again with his own crass words, being left out wasn't his thing. “Better question, Xavi the limpdick baby, can I spectate him? A plus one and all that.”

“To answer your questions,” Xavier raised a finger, “One; every hour in our world translates to a minute here. At most, you’ll be gone for ten hours. Twenty-four hours is unheard of unless you want to get extra training in with one of the Commanders.” He raised another finger, “Two; you can bring as many people as you like to come with you, Zeko. And I do mean as many as you like. Everything will be paid for on your trip.”

Zeko waved some of that off with a smirk. “Nah, it’ll just be us. I’m happy to have some fun, there’s been some good and hard fights recently so I’m in good shape. I hope I get to really stretch my legs.”

“Stealing that thing from Sho was a fucking power move, but did you already put it in you?” Kotetsu’s only answer was… a nod. And so he nodded back, Xavier didn't need to know absolutely everything right now. But Kotetsu finally stopped merging his kamui with the normal reality. “Alright, lead the way.”

“Don’t you want to tell your wife you’ll be gone for ten hours, Mr. Kusanabe?” Xavier turned to Zeko.

“You can say Uchiha now, nothing to hide anymore.” He pulled his phone back out to type a fast message. “Going out… someone wants to have a tournament… be back by nighttime… love you Kuku…”

“…Gay.”

Xavier put a hand over his mouth and paused for a moment; absolutely shocked for the first time. “...Mr. Uchiha, you sent your pregnant wife a text that you’ll be gone for ten hours. I may not know women native to this world, but the women in mine would tear you a new one.” Xavier conjured a portal behind him and stepped out of the way so they could enter.

His phone buzzed while his elder cousin lead the way. Zeko smiled serenely at his wife’s semi angry but still loving text. “She said I better bring back some high quality chocolate to apologize, plus I’ll be back by night time anyway. Kotetsu’s the one you should be talking to. Does Shiro even know you’re here?”

The older Uchiha paused right before entering the portal and grinned happily. “Who’s gonna tell her I- NINJA IT WAS A JOKE!” He stopped his cousin from sending another text just barely. “She thinks I’m on a mission, I’ll bring her something back. Damn. Let’s fucking go already.” He turned and tombstone fell through the portal as part of his usual shenanigans.

A laugh escaped Xavier’s lips, “You two are an interesting bunch,” and put his hands back in front of him.

“Yeah. Lead the way, I just want to leave my snake here.” The snake from before popped out of his hair and stared with the largest and cutest eyes it could muster… and it worked perfectly. “Never mind. Raimei’s coming.” He walked through the portal completely unabashed… and in all of that, they mutually forgot about the man coming to, who was still bound and chained to the table… Well he wasn’t invited anyway. “Where is this tournament anyway? And are we gonna meet more species from Equestria?”

Traveling through mysterious dimensional tears wasn’t anything new to either of the Uchiha and Kotetsu showed it best by twirling like a ninja ballerina… which both of them were trained for. “Don’t care myself but what’s the food situation looking like?”

“We have the best chefs in the entire world. And there will be a variety of races, Kirin, Bat Ponies, Crystal Ponies, the occasional Diamond Dog, everyone will be witnessing this tournament. The arena does have an occupation capacity of one-hundred-and-twenty-thousand. Many people will be there.” Xavier smiled with a nod.

“Kirin? Now I’m really interested. Different Universes with so many species.” Zeko’s natural scientist was coming out and Kotetsu felt the need to think more about his attack of the same name. As usual the two of them were on separate pages and yet united by action. “Kotetsu… stop twirling like that.”

“It’s fun.” He continued without a second thought until he could feel that their journey was almost done. “We’re almost there aren’t we?”

Xavier looked on, putting his hands behind his back again. “Almost.”

Author's Note

[Adult story embed hidden]

“Hey there, it’s been a while~”

“Are you for real?”

“I’m for real real.”

Been a while since I’ve been here but there’s nothing like coming back with a bang. Some dysfunctional events and funny times incoming. The Seeker is back and I’m gonna give some shenanigans for a community event, so let’s get her goin.