Starburst in Wonderland

Starburst flew among tall grass and random leaves still fuming from her encounter from the flowers/ponies. Silently she wondered if she would ever be her right size again and if she was to encounter even more peculiar things since she was apparently on punishment. As she thinks all of this she caught the scent of smoke. Starburst looked ahead and saw smoke billowing above the grass. Soon a sense of dread took hold of the young princess. “Good grief!” Starburst thought out loud. “Hot Head probably set the house on fire and the fire’s probably spreading. I knew things would’ve gotten worse when I’m this size!” Starburst flew above the grass expecting to find the horrible sight of a great, raging fire. Instead she saw nothing but grass for miles. She began to feel a sense of relief when suddenly her eye caught a small plume of smoke coming from a small clearing within the grass. Curiosity then took hold of the small pegasus and she flew towards the plume of smoke. When she arrived at the clearing she found a rather large mushroom and upon the mushroom was a caterpillar, or what seemed to be a caterpillar upon first glance. Starburst flew closer and discovered that the caterpillar was actually brown in colour. It had several legs and strangely enough it had an earth pony stallion’s head. Upon the stallion’s head was dark brown hair with a yellow streak in it. Even stranger was that this earth pony/caterpillar was smoking a hookah, the type of device she once saw a local using when she took a trip with Princess Twilight to Saddle Arabia. The strangest thing of all was that the earth pony/caterpillar bore a striking resemblance to one of Starburst’s friends. “Gold Delicious?” exclaimed Starburst as she hovered in front of the earth pony/caterpillar. Gold Delicious/Caterpillar took the hookah out of his mouth and looked at the princess with lazy eyes. “Who…are…you?” he said a slow, lazy tone. Starburst felt her skin crawl as she started to take in Gold Delicious/Caterpillar’s physical appearance. She was instantly reminded of that disturbing movie she was once had the displeasure of watching when she was only thirteen years old. “Pony Centipede” was a body horror film she once watched as a dare from Prism Bolt and as a result she couldn’t sleep for days. As if to add insult to injury, curiosity got the better of Starburst and she watched two other sequels to that movie called “Pony Centipede: Full Sequence” and “Pony Centipede: Final Sequence”, each movie being more disturbing than the next. Gold Delicious/Caterpillar’s appearance reminded her too much of those disgusting films. “What happened to you, Del?” said Starburst as Gold Delicious/Caterpillar nonchalantly smoked his hookah.

“Who…are…you?” repeated Gold Delicious/Caterpillar in the same lazy tone.

“Come on, Del” said Starburst. “I’m Starburst. You know…”

“No…ah don’t…know,” replied Gold Delicious/Caterpillar.

“I’m daughter of Princess Twilight, your mom’s best friend,” insisted Starburst.

“Your mama’s a princess?” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar. “Who…are…you?”

Starburst opened her mouth to speak but closed it when she began to consider Gold Delicious/Caterpillar’s question. Ever since she arrived in that strange world everyone seemed to not recognize her. She began to wonder if she was even a pony anymore. “Well, I don’t really know anymore,” said Starburst. “Ever since I fell down that hole chasing my brother I’ve been changing a lot.”

“Explain yerself,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar not looking at Starburst.

“I can’t explain it myself,” said Starburst scratching her head. “Because I’m not myself, you see.”

“No, ah don’t…see,” replied Gold Delicious/Caterpillar.

Starburst grunted softly. It was clear to the young princess that this conversation was going nowhere. Bit by bit she started to question her own sanity. “I don’t how else to put it,” she said. “This place, everyone who lives here, you, it’s all just crazy to me.”

“You?” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar looking at her as if she was a strange creature. “Who…are…you?”

Starburst felt something boiling inside of her. The caterpillar that had the face of Gold Delicious was really starting to try her patience. Suddenly a mischievous smile appeared on her face when she had a sneaky idea. “Well, why you don’t tell me…who…you are first,” said Starburst mimicking Gold Delicious/Caterpillar’s lazy speaking pattern.

“Why?” asked Gold Delicious/Caterpillar nonchalantly puffing away from his hookah.

“OH, FORGET IT!” shouted Starburst. She then flew away from Gold Delicious. “I’m getting out of here one way or another even if I have to tear this place apart!” she exclaimed.

“Wait!” Gold Delicious/Caterpillar called out. “Ah got somethin’ important ta tell ya!”

By now Starburst reached a good distance when Gold Delicious/Caterpillar called out to her. A part of her was saying that she should not even entertain him any further but curiosity overrode her better judgement. In a huff Starburst flew back to Gold Delicious/Caterpillar and hovered in front of him. “WHAT!?!” she growled.

“Keep…yer temper,” replied Gold Delicious/Caterpillar in his familiar slow tone puffing away on his hookah.

“That’s it?” said Starburst incredulously.

“EEhnope,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar in a way that Starburst thought sounded awfully similar to Gold Delicious’ uncle Big Mac. “So, ya think ya changed, don’tcha?”

“I don’t think I’ve changed,” said Starburst as she took a seat on a nearby mushroom. “I know I’ve changed. I can’t seem to stay the same size for two minutes and I don’t remember things the way they were.”

“Can’t remember what things?” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar not looking at her. Starburst put her hoof on her chin. Her eyes widened when she had an epiphany. “I could remember one thing,” she said with a smile. “There was this poem you and I made up when we were kids. Or maybe I should say I taught Gold Delicious the poem when I was only ten.” Starburst then started to laugh a bit. “It was a joke we were having when Mrs. Applejack was freaking out when she started to get grey hair,” Starburst said through chuckles. “It went something like:

“You are old, Mother Applejack,” said the young colt;

“And your hair is very white.

But you always buck your head against the apple tree.

At your age, is that even right?”

“In mah youth,” said Mother Applejack to her son,

“Ah was afraid it might hurt the brain.

Now Ah’m pretty sure Ah ain’t got none

An’ Ah’ll do it again and again.”

“You are old, Mother Applejack,” said the young colt.

“And you’ve never gotten fat.

But you do back flips across the floor.

Tell me, what’s the reason for that?”

“In mah youth,” said Mother Applejack.

“Ah kept all mah hooves very supple.

Because of this here ointment Ah use, one bit a box.

“Allow me ta sell ya a couple.”

“You are old, Mother Applejack,” said the young colt.

“And your jaws are too weak for carrots.

But you can still eat hay, celery and apples.

Tell me how you manage to do it?”

“In mah youth,” said Mother Applejack.

“Ah argued with the Ponyville town council

‘Bout all mah strife.

It gave mah jaw a lotta strength

An’ lasted me all mah life.”

“You are old, Mother Applejack,” said the young colt.

And your eyes are as steady as ever.

But you balance an eel on the tip of your nose.

What made you so awfully clever?”

“Ah’ve answered three questions,” said Mother Applejack.

“An’ that’s enough!

Don’t give yerself airs!

Do ya think Ah’m gonna listen to that kinda stuff?

Now git or Ah’m gonna buck ya down the stairs!””

Starburst howled in laughter as she mimicked Mrs. Applejack’s southern drawl. Meanwhile Gold Delicious/Caterpillar did not look at her or even cracked a smile. He simply puffed away nonchalantly on his hookah. Starburst noticed this and stopped laughing. She momentarily worried that he might have offended him. “Ehhnope,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar. “It ain’t said right.”

“Well, that’s how I remember it,” said Starburst timidly.

“It’s wrong from the start,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar. There was then silence between the two for a couple moments. “So,” began Gold Delicious/Caterpillar as he turned to look at Starburst “what size ya wanna be?”

“I don’t care,” said Starburst. “I can’t stand changing so much, you know.”

“No, Ah don’t…know,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar turning away from Starburst.

“Not this again!” Starburst thought silently. “Look, I wanna be a little bigger,” she desperately said to Gold Delicious/Caterpillar as she hovered over him. “It really sucks to be only three inches tall.”

“Whatchoo talkin’ ‘bout?” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar as he turned to Starburst with anger etched on his face. “Bein’ three inches tall is fine an’ dandy!” As if to emphasize Gold Delicious/Caterpillar stood up straight and showed that he was exactly three inches.

“Okay, okay!” said Starburst putting up her hooves to calm down Gold Delicious. “Snowflake much?” she thought silently. Starburst then returned to her seat on the nearby mushroom. “Sorry, I’m just not used to being smaller than I already am,” said Starburst.

“You’ll get used to it in time,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar calmly as he turned away from Starburst and puffed on his hookah. “Ah could give ya some advice,” he added. With those words Gold Delicious/Caterpillar took the hookah out of his mouth and let out a yawn. Slowly he started to crawl off his large mushroom leaving Starburst to look on in confusion. “One side makes you larger,” said Gold Delicious/Caterpillar “an’ one side makes you small.” A baffled Starburst looked on as he crawled further and further away. “What the hay are you talking about?” She called out throwing up her hooves. “One side of what?”

“The mushroom,” Gold Delicious/Caterpillar called out not looking at her.

Starburst was all alone. By now Gold Delicious/Caterpillar was long gone having disappeared in the tall grass. She looked at the mushroom that she sat on. “One side of the mushroom?” Starburst thought out loud. “It can’t be this one he’s talking about.” The young princess then turned her attention to the larger mushroom Gold Delicious sat on. It was flat at the top and was rather pink in color as opposed to the small and dull looking dome shaped one she sat on. She flew over to the pink mushroom and examined it closely. She then broke off one large piece from one side and broke off a large piece on the other side. She landed on the ground and looked at the two pieces intensely. “One side makes you larger,” said Starburst “and one side makes you small.” She put one to her mouth but stopped before it could touch her taste buds. “Mom warned me that some mushrooms are poisonous,” said Starburst with trepidation. She then looked at the mushroom piece with nervous eyes. Soon a strange calm washed over her. “Then again, I’m pretty sure Gold Delicious wouldn’t intentionally have me poisoned,” she added with a shrug. With those words Starburst took a small nibble on the mushroom just to be sure. As the mushroom went down her throat she stood still for a few moments. Suddenly her torso and legs shrunk to a tinnier size causing her jaw to hit the ground. Starburst let out a startled scream as her jaw was now flat on the ground. She was beside herself with panic. “Great! As if being three inches wasn’t bad enough!” she exclaimed. The two pieces laid next to her head and Starburst watched them with anger on her face. “Is this Del’s idea of a sick joke?” she thought out loud. She moved her head a few inches with great effort until she was facing the pieces of mushrooms directly. “Okay, the other side is supposed to make me larger,” said Starburst. “Celestia only knows the crazy things it could do to my body. But desperate times call for desperate measures!” The young princess opened her mouth to take a bite but realized that she could barely open her jaw due to the fact that her head lay flat on the ground like a coin. She stopped trying to open her mouth and grunted in frustration. She then thought maybe she should try licking the mushroom instead of eating it. She stuck out her tongue and licked it. Soon she could feel her torso and hooves growing again. Starburst felt a sense of relief as she slowly began to grow in size again. Suddenly her neck grew extremely long in a flash. It grew and grew and grew until her head was now high above the nearest tree. “What the absolute heck?” exclaimed Starburst as she examined her abnormally long neck. “Did I turn into a giraffe or something?” Starburst could feel her hooves pounding on the ground but she could not see them. She started to move her head and discovered that her neck was very flexible. With every movement of her head her neck went in all directions almost like a snake. “If I could just get out of this Celestia forsaken tree,” grunted Starburst. “Maybe I could reach down for those crazy mushrooms.”

As Starburst started to move her head downwards a large pigeon sprang up from trees and started beating her with its wings. “Get off of me, you stinking bag of feathers!” screamed Starburst as she moved her head trying to get away from the pigeon.

“Snake! Snake!” said the pigeon in a feminine voice. Starburst stopped moving her head when she realized that the pigeon sounded awfully familiar. She stared at the pigeon that was now hovering in front of her and discovered that it was no ordinary pigeon. The pigeon had cream feathers and what appeared to be amber colored hair on top of its head. Stranger still this pigeon had a beauty mark next to her left eye. The pigeon’s physical appearance bore strong resemblance to another pony Starburst met while hanging out with her friend Anthea. This pony mare’s name was Amber Lily and she was another friend who Anthea grew up with at the orphanage. Amber Lily’s father was an earth pony and her mother was a crystal pony from the Crystal Empire, the same Crystal Empire that Starburst was born in. Amber Lily was also a nurse who was living in Ponyville with Anthea’s other friends from the orphanage Lucky Star and Hot Head. Starburst came across Amber Lily on more than one occasion and found her very pretty and quite fun. However, Amber Lily’s habit of over partying and making romantic passes with everypony she saw made Starburst quite uneasy. One time, Amber even made a romantic pass at Starburst. “Amber?” said Starburst as she stared at the pigeon in confusion. “Amber Lily?”

“Be gone, snake!” exclaimed Amber Lily/Pigeon.

“I’m not a snake!” said Starburst.

“I’ve tried everything to get away from them, but nothing seems to work!” continued Amber Lily/Pigeon who sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

“What the hay are you talking about?” said Starburst tilting her head in confusion.

“I’ve tried the roots of trees,” continued Amber Lily/Pigeon seemingly paying no attention to Starburst. “I’ve tried hedges. I’ve tried riverbanks. I’ve tried cliffs. But those snakes! There’s just no getting away from them!” With those words Starburst was immediately reminded of another habit Amber Lily had. Everyone Amber Lily met either at a party, at lunch or even the hospital staff, Amber would often take them home with her doing who knew what. Starburst shuddered at the very thought. “I already have enough trouble hatching the eggs,” Amber Lily/Pigeon went on. “But I must be on the lookout for snakes night and day! I haven’t slept a wink in three weeks!”

“I know exactly how you feel,” said Starburst sympathetically. “When my mom was pregnant with my brother she’d get super grumpy and she barely got any sleep at all.”

“And just when I’ve taken the highest tree in the woods,” said Amber Lily/Pigeon raising her voice. “a snake just had to come wriggling out of the sky!”

“But I’m not a snake!” insisted Starburst. “I’m…I’m…”

“Well, what are you?” said Amber Lily/Pigeon sternly as she stared down Starburst with her beautiful green eyes. “I could see you’re trying to make something up!”

“I’m…a pony,” replied Starburst even though in the back of her mind she doubted her own answer. “At least I was when I woke up this morning.”

“Yeah right!” said Amber Lily/Pigeon glaring at Starburst. “I’ve seen a lot of ponies in my day, but none with a neck long like yours. No! No! You’re a snake! I bet you’re gonna tell me that you’ve never tasted an egg!”

“Of course I don’t eat eggs!” said Starburst. “Even if I do, I wouldn’t wanna eat your eggs!”

“Well, why am I wasting my time with you?” said Amber Lily/Pigeon in a calmer tone. “I’m an expecting mother and I have children to bring into the world.” With those words Amber Lily/Pigeon flew back into the tree and sat on a nest of blue eggs. “Amber, wait!” Starburst called out. By now Amber Lily/Pigeon seemingly paid no attention to her. Starburst let out a huff and tried to get her head out of the tree. She winced as the branches scratched against her long neck. After a few moments of pawing the ground Starburst was finally free from the tree. Starburst could see trees as far as the eye could see. She then looked down and saw how far her hooves were. “Great! I think I lost the mushrooms!” said a frustrated Starburst. She walked backwards keeping her eyes fixed on the ground. She started to barely make out two pink dots and concluded that they were the mushrooms. “If I could just reach them,” grunted Starburst. Her hooves continued to move backwards and simultaneously she bent her neck trying to reach the mushrooms. Her head was now inches away from the mushrooms and she stopped to look at them. “What if I take a bite from two?” Starburst thought. “Maybe it would do something about this freakishly long neck of mine.” She took a small nibble from both mushrooms and waited impatiently. After what seemed like a long minute her neck shrunk back to normal size and her torso together with her hooves expanded to the size they were before her encounter at Nightlight/Rabbit’s house. Starburst patted herself all over and looked down seeing that she towered over the flowers and grass. She then let out a huge sigh of relief. Starburst’s eyes then fell on the two small mushrooms. She picked them up and stared at them for a few moments. “Maybe I should keep them,” she thought out loud. “I might need them just in case in case I get the crazy idea to gobble down something else in this freaky place.” Starburst then put away the mushrooms and started to fly away. She looked over her shoulder spotting Amber Lily/Pigeon sitting in the tall the tree in her nest. Starburst then shuddered. “I do not wanna know who the father is,” Starburst said as she flew away.