In Memoriam

Chapter 1: In Memoriam

Please know that I still love all of you very much, and that I loathe the thought of leaving you alone in this world. But Rain, you have matured so much in these years, and I am so proud of you. I’ve felt like your father since you were barely old enough to walk, and I know now that I succeeded in that role. I just wish I could have done the same for Slip.

I’m sorry…

Rainbow Dash woke up. It was still dark outside, and she knew the sun wouldn’t be up for almost an hour. The words still rang in her head; it had been almost a year, but she still heard his voice every night.

Why did he leave me? She asked herself, barely able to keep from crying. Rainbow was never able to figure out why her brother had killed himself.

He had lasted 7 years after Slipstream died, watching his other daughter grow up without ever really knowing her. Rainbow had seen him break inside with each passing day, but thought his commitment to her and Scootaloo would keep him going. He had left a note on the table about an hour before his death. Rainbow realized, upon reading it, how much pain he had really lived with all those years.

He felt like a failure as a father…he said he felt like his dad. This was something Rainbow never quite understood, as he had never opened up about their father. All she knew was that he seemed to be abusive, at least verbally, and had abandoned them when she was just a baby. Shortly afterward, Lightning had run away with her.

It had been 5 years since Twilight Sparkle moved to Ponyville, and neither her nor any of the others—except Fluttershy—even knew Rainbow had ever had a brother. They didn’t know why she was so broken up about his death, or even that a death had occurred until a week later, when a funeral was held. The eulogies said he was a beloved member of the community a long time ago, and that his spirit lived on in his sister and daughter, who lived in Ponyville. At that point, the others had realized the significance to Rainbow, guessing that she was his sister, and moved to comfort her.

Nopony was ever able to figure out exactly who the daughter was. Everypony had a hunch, but none said anything. Scootaloo was too naïve to really understand; she knew him as a reclusive friend of the family, nothing more. Nopony talked to her about it, and she never asked any questions. That was the way it worked.

One day, about two weeks after the service, Rainbow was called over to the funeral home to discuss the will. She had been dreading this; news about how Lightning wanted what was left of his life divided among people who didn’t know him very well.

At the home, the man on staff went through the will sensitively with Rainbow, detailing each point. He had more bits than she thought, and she had received all of it, along with his house. She decided immediately to put it on the market; she didn’t need that reminder hanging over her head, literally. Lastly, he left Scootaloo his old guitar and a few other knick-knacks from her early life.

Rainbow went to Lightning’s home to clear out some of the stuff she could either keep or donate. She found several pictures of the two of them from points in their life here. The first time she had flown, her first day at the flight school, her and Gilda from years ago. She choked up at the memories hidden within the old house. Everywhere, there were signs of real life; a life lived, and yet to be lived.

If he had all of this, why did he leave it? Even as she finished asking herself, she knew the answer: the tragedy in his life had overwhelmed the good. The horrible things that had happened to him were, admittedly, few and far between, but they were powerful and tragic enough to have a lasting effect on his mental and physical health. He had suffered through life, and in the end, death was his only remaining escape.

She went into his bedroom, overcome with how personal it really was. There was art everywhere; the walls had become his own personal mural, detailing his life there.

I never knew he could paint, Rainbow thought. “But, I guess, I didn’t know that much about him…”

It was true. She didn’t know Lightning loved Surprise until well after she had died. Rainbow didn’t know he thought of her as a daughter in more ways than as a sister until fairly recently; he had said so in his will. She never knew he sang, danced, painted, drew, wrote, or did anything except, really, cook and laugh a lot.

She did know that Surprise’s and Slipstream’s deaths had affected him deeply. She also assumed that he had been dating somepony in town for a couple years prior to his death, but would never tell her who it was. All she knew was that he seemed happy near the end, and she was happy for him in return.

“I wish you’d told me more,” whispered Rainbow, fighting back tears she had suppressed since the funeral. “Why didn’t you let me in?”

As she began to go through his things, she decided to keep the house; the paintings in here were too personal, too important. They connected her to a part of his personality she didn’t even know existed. It was a haunted part of him he never showed to anypony, a past she had never been told about. There were images of a monster she could only imagine were his memories of their father. She was prominent for a good stretch of it, always smiling…his version of a happy life.

As Rainbow went through an old chest by Lightning’s bed, she came across a locked box. She put it aside and thought nothing of it. After hours of going through old memories, deciding which ones to keep and which to throw away, she couldn’t bring herself to toss it.

Each day brought up fresh memories, every one harder than the last. Slip’s brief time alive was prominent for most of the remainder of the mural and the various items hidden around the house. Most of them featured his daughter as happy, none truly sad. Rainbow realized on her last full day there that he had never let go of either Slip or Scoots. He killed himself to be with his daughter again, at the expense of watching his remaining filly grow up not knowing who he was. She got lost in thought for hours.

Old letters he’d left her when he went out for something. Notes from when they’d started living here: that’s what made Rainbow stop. Up until then, there had been a lot of memories, but nothing written by her brother. Here, to her, was proof that he had really existed, that others would truly mourn his death. It pushed her over the edge; she cried for an hour.

When she opened her eyes, she looked down into the almost-empty chest, and she saw a key there. She picked it up and put it on the dresser.

I wonder what this opens, she thought. It’s nice. Must be something old.

It was getting dark, and she had to go home for the night. She locked up the house, looked back once more, and flew home slowly. She had missed Pinkie Pie’s party to celebrate the budding romance between Fluttershy and Twilight: something even Twilight hadn’t seen coming. It was still a young relationship, and only time would tell if it would last.

When Rainbow woke up the next morning, she reluctantly returned to Lightning’s home for what she hoped was the last time. The first thing she saw was the key, suddenly remembering the small box. She fit the key into the lock and turned it.

The latch flipped open…

Author’s Note: I’m baaaack!!!! I know, it’s been virtually no time at all, but I’ve been getting suggestions for a few days now, and I had time today to type the rest of this out (started it two days ago). I hope you enjoy it!! I think I’ve really found a franchise with this guy ☺