Somewhere, a unicorn collapses, having delivered her prophecy to a Gallifreyan and a pegasus. Unfortunately, the mad prophet died on the spot as soon as she had finished.

Then again, ever since the world ended, there wasn't much else left to do.

Pinkie did not remember her Party Cave not having a ceiling. This was a bad sign, even without the knowledge of time having been ripped a new one. She quietly exited the Party Box, scanning the area around her with her sonic for any threats. After a moment, she quietly signaled for the rest of her group to exit her TARDIS. One by one out came Twilight, the Doctor, Fluttershy, Starlight, Discord, and last, but not first, Trixie. All present looked up to the very visible, mud-brown sky in horror. Discord excluded, of course, though even he took it seriously.

"Hrm," he said, "that's probably not good. Even if it was, it's too boring for my tastes."

Twilight flew up to get a better look at the area. Most of the buildings were leveled into non-existence, which explained part of why the Party Cave's view was unobscured by Sugarcube Corner. Twilight gasped as she came to a realization.

"Starlight," she said, "remember the other timelines we saw back when... You know..."

Starlight's eyes widened. "Oh," she shakily replied, "I wondered why this all felt... Familiar..."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Why? What happened?"

Starlight didn't divert her gaze from the sky. "Back when I was, uh, not a very good person, I tried to mess with time itself to get my way. It resulted in a ton of different timelines, and this... Abyss, was one of them. But we fixed it! This shouldn't be happening, right?"

"Hmm. I saw a similar area in one of that damned theatre's 'productions.'" The Doctor got out his own Sonic for a quick scan. He frowned further than he already had. "Dreadful, simply dreadful."

"What is it, Doctor," asked Fluttershy.

"There aren't even bacteria in the area! Whatever happened here killed of everything in the area."

Fluttershy gasped. "EVERYTHING?"

The Doctor grimly nodded. "Not even a cockroach survived whatever hit here. I wouldn't recommend stepping too far from Ms. Pie's TARDIS, either. There's oxygen, but nothing that could last you more than a few minutes without issues arising."

Discord snapped a talon and frowned. He snapped it again and had a pina colada made of strawberries and dodecahedrons appear in his paw. "Beyond the Party Box's radius is a dud for me as well. It will likely go away after a year or 2, but there's a sort of energy here preventing my chaos magic from working. I'll give this much to whoever caused the end of the world, they know their stuff."

"So that confirms it," Pinkie said.

Trixie looked at the Time Lord. "Trixie begs your pardon?"

"Well, it would seem the world has ended. Let's unend it!" Pinkie paced around, trying not to notice all of her ruined archives of her friends favorite things. "This was caused by something in the past! We just have to figure out when exactly that is!"

"Easy," Starlight said. "We start by going back to see if somepony did something to Rainbow as a filly."

"I don't think it's that." Pinkie looked to the sky. "There were a lot of things that could have hopped off from that, like Sombra starting a war or Nightmare Moon causing eternal night. It's more likely whatever caused this went to the specific point where this was averted and shifted things around to the point where it wasn't."

The Doctor began pacing as well. "Whatever could cause a shift in time like this is exponentially powerful. It's impossible to make such a drastic change in a world's fate. The only reason any of us are alive is due to Ms. Pie's quick thinking."

Discord scoffed. "Well, I would have survived, though I don't deny it would have hurt, so thank you again, Pinkie. In any case, the Doctor is correct. This seems like the sort of thing Ordinance would do, but she's not nearly that powerful without the Key to Time. Neither another version of myself or any of my other siblings would want to cause something like this, so who woul-"

🎹Dun, da dun dun dun! Dink🎵
"Daddy was so mean, daddy was so rough, daddy's always daddying and that is quite enough!"

With a discordant ending note, the figure playing the piano turned to look at the group, all of whom were already staring in the figure's direction. The figure appeared to be a pinkish pony pony, with a swirly purple and white mane, with eyes to match. They were sitting at a piano, which certainly wasn't there before, with a sinister yet smug look on their face.

"Oh, excuse me," the figure said. "My notation in your universe is Screwball! They/them pronouns, not that you asked, though I'm also known in some worlds as simply... The Maestro."

Discord groaned. "Screwball! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be chasing after your father or something?"

Screwball laughed in a very strange way that made their voice move up in tone before moving downwards again. "Oh, you know I HATE him, Uncle Dissy! Besides, he's on the other side of the multiverse right now."

"And that's another thing! Whenever people see you with me they just assume I'm your father!"

"Awwwww," they pouted before playing the piano again. "But yooooouuuuuu are my Daddy Discord... Sorry about that Uncle Dissy, but in order for Ordinance and I's plan to-"" They stopped and WOAH WOAH HEY-

YOU don't get to make me give inflammatory exposition, got that you hack?!?

We're just telling the story here! We can't just force you to make decisions tha-

NOT YOU!

Your puppeteer...

... S- Sorry, what was that?

Get back to narrating, you clowns! "anyways," screwball continnued, "i think i've said more than enough, dont you?"

"If Discord is your uncle," the Doctor piped in, "then your father must be 'Negligence,' is that right?"

"Oh," Screwball chuckled, "as sharp as ever, Doctor! Though you've already met him, just under a... Different, name."

The Doctor gulped. "Yes, I'm well aware."

"Wait," Pinkie said, "who are you guys talking about?"

The Doctor hesitated. "The Celestial Toymaker."

Pinkie's eyes widened. "Th- that's a joke, right?"

The Doctor just frowned, looking downwards.

Suddenly, Starlight felt a magic aura surrounding her. "Um, Trixie, what are you doing?"

Trixie moved Starlight closer to her. "Panicking, that's what she's doing. Please hold Trixie."

Starlight took a moment to register what just happened before complying.

Pinkie Pie, meanwhile backed away slowly as the Maestro laughed. "What's the matter, Pinkie? Scared of a few bedtime stories? You should be."

Twilight stepped forward, hiding Pinkie behind a wing. "What do you want?"

Discord put a paw in front of Twilight, a subtle message to not approach further. "That would be my brother's spawn. They're the embodiment of music itself and feed upon songs unsung."

Twilight gave a disbelieving look. "Then why end the world? No more world, no more music! It's like how if there's no chaos left in our universe you'll disappear and find a new one!"

"Boy," Screwball butted in, "for the brightest wizard of your age you can be a plothead sometimes. He said I feed off the songs NOT sung. Every time a person has a song to sing and dies before they can sing it, I get a nice meal. Meanwhile, my Auntie Ordi wants everything dead. Up until me being alive dissatisfies her it's a win-win! She gets to wipe out a bunch of the multiverse before killing me and I get a smorgasbord of food before killing her! And with Gaea dying, a thousand years worth of heartsongs and normal music going uncomposed... It would give me enough power to finally, FINALLY reach the music of spheres. With that... I could go back to the beginning of a universe and stop it from ever existing. Oh, the songs that would never be sung, they would taste delicious... And besides, there is music around if you just have a listen..."

Low, howling sounds that had previously faded into the background made themselves known.

"Aeolian tones," Twilight noted. "The sound of a nuclear winter. Music without any people... All across the universe."

The cruel pony just gave that ungodly arpeggio laugh. "I'M GOING SOLO! Or at least, I will once I find a way to get a leg up on Auntie."

"How did you even arrive in this universe," demanded the Doctor.

There went that awful laugh again. "And what makes you think I'll say? If even she can't make me spout my plans you don't stand a chance!"

"Your father was the Toymaker," the Doctor stated matter-of-factly, "and he established the rules of fair play. The one thing he would never do is cheat, and while you may be right to disparage him you still follow the rules he put in place. Isn't that right, Discord?"

"Oooh, very clever Doctor, as always," Discord confirmed.

Screwball huffed. "Ugh, you're JUST as insufferable as the Doctor I encountered last time. Fine... It was the work of a musical genius."

"Please elaborate, dearest nibling, we don't have all day." Discord gave a toothy grin, taunting the Maestro.

Screwball growled. "She found the lost chord. It let me in, and she made for a tasty snack! Ha!"

"And if there's a chord that lets you in," Starlight guessed, "there's one that kicks you out, right?"

The Maestro grimaced before their eyes lit up and they smirked. Didn't you hear what I said? A genius. All of you may be bright, and creative, and drop dead gorgeous (Uncle Dissy excluded), but none of you are outright geniuses."

The mares started glancing at each other. If the Doctor, Pinkie and Twilight didn't qualify as geniuses to this monster, who would?

"And hey, I can give you a little hint on where to go and what the plan is with two questions. One is... Why do people think I'm your kid, Uncle Dissy? Two is... What did Twilight say that felt weird, Madame President?"

Pinkie recoiled at the mention of her title. How could they have..?

"Anyways, I think it's time you got started on this little 'game' you've forced me to make, huh?" With that, the monster returned to their piano and played a menacing little tune... And the Party Box went on the fritz.

"GIRLS! DOCTOR! DISCORD!" Pinkie pointed towards the malfunctioning TARDIS. "In the Party Box, NOW!"

With that, there was a rush to the dingy little box as the Maestro gave horrible laugh once more...

Pinkie went straight to the console and starting messing with it. "You aren't taking my TARDIS, you storybook monster!"

"Bash all the things that you've ever wanted
Turn all the friends that you've ever known
Your coats all fade to gray as we both die of laughter!"

Pinkie kept bashing at the console while the Party Box tossed people inside it around like salad. "COME ON!"

"Nonstop order and we don't care
We relish in the death while you wallow in despair
Because it's all a tragic plot..."

"COME ON!"

To tear you apart...

Suddenly, the console came alive, and the Party Box was in the Time Vortex.

"Anything for Auntie Oooooooorrrrrrddddiiiii- Actually, no, that doesn't mesh as well. Ah well. At the very least, I know when they'll stop if they have any intelligence in them. It's a shame this is only in writing for your universe, dear readers, because I absolutely killed that performance! But then again, when don't I? And if Auntie Ordi and I have our way, well..."

We'll be killing a lot more than that.

ha hA HA HA HA Ha ha...

"Oh, thank Rassil-" Pinkie stopped herself. "Thank Celestia we made it out of there. Being near the child of the Celestial Toymaker..." Pinkie stared into the distance for a moment.

"Who's the Celestial Toymaker," asked Starlight.

Trixie shuddered. "Trixie's mother would tell her horror stories. The Toymaker is the embodiment of games and rules, and he views everything else as a game piece. You can challenge him to a game, and he HAS to accept. If you win, you get one PERFECT wish. Fail, and he'll turn you into one of his toys."

Pinkie spoke with a tone of tranquil panic. "Imagine if Discord was a worse person and somehow stronger, with the caveat that he has to play by the rules of a game. That's the Toymaker. I always thought he was a fairy tale, most people do. I never thought that..."

Trixie turned to Pinkie. "Do you think the story of Gaylord, the Human Gambler is true?"

"Wish I could say no," Pinkie admitted, "but now I'm not so sure."

"Perhaps we should focus," Twilight said. "Now, the 'Maestro' or whatever asked two questions. Why people assume Discord is that... Thing's father, and what I said that Pinkie thinks is 'weird,' as vague as that may be."

"Well," Discord said, floating around the console room, "I can try something." He looked up to the ceiling expectantly, almost as if-

...

No.

"Oh, come now," Discord said. "Wouldn't you like to get back at them for scaring you like that?"

We really don't want to be characters in this fic.

"Oh please," Discord scoffed. "At most you're a plot device."

A pl- A PLOT DEVICE? We're the writer here! We're not some all-powerful "manipulate the story" figure, but we do think of ourself as an interdimensional historian!

"Alright, so how about a short little history lesson, hm? Why do people assume I'm Screwball's father? Is it just because we're both silly or is it... Something more?"

...

"Come on, it's too late to not get meta. It doesn't make you any less of a writer to lean on the 4th wall a little."

... Screwball was on-screen in only two episodes. Once in your debut, and once in the alternate timeline where you win. The fans did the rest of the work. At least, that's how it happened in our system's dimension. Don't ask us for advice again.

"Well, good. Raise your hoof if you made enough of that out."

Pinkie was the only one whose hoof was raised.

"In that case..." Discord changed into a labcoat and bottle-lens glasses. "Good news, everyone! The era we're supposed to go to is when I tried to rule Equestria again, and the Box network was renewed our company! Well, ok, not that last part, but we do know when to go now."

Pinkie looked at Twilight. For some reason, Pinkie looked... Angry? "Quick question, Twily."

"Um, yes, Pinkie?"

"Did you know that the human world has nukes?"

Twilight blinked. "No, actually. That's a little worrying, honestly."

"Cool," Pinkie said, "I didn't know Equestria had the stupid things before today, so we're even. Now we need to go to Celestia's castle."

Before anyone else could say another word, Pinkie pulled a switch... And they were off.

Author's Note

~~Still not sure making this chapter so meta was a good decision, but then again, it wasn't really our choice...~~
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