“Sunburst!”

Starlight awoke with a shout, panting hard and soaked with sweat. As she blinked sleep from her eyes, she absently ran a hoof through her mane. That was strange, since when did she have bangs? Her vision cleared, and she realized this was not her bedroom in Canterlot at all. It looked like some sort of field hospital, of which she appeared to be the only patient. The bedding was spare, and the walls were a smooth sickly grey rock that carried the hazy blue sheen of the dim magical lights that floated along the walls. Also there, in the corner, was Princess Twilight Sparkle herself.

Starlight jumped with a start, “Princess Twilight! What are you–” But she had forgotten herself. She stammered to a halt and quickly lowered her head in a deep bow, or her best approximation given she was in bed and only halfway vertical.

Princess Twilight was silent for an agonizing amount of time. Starlight was in a panic as the seconds stretched. Had she done something wrong? Forgotten some honorific? Was she upset Starlight hadn't gotten out of bed to bow? Starlight could swear the Princess wasn't the type to make a fuss about decorum, but maybe she had been misinformed.

It was answer enough when Twilight quietly, so sadly replied, “I was wondering which Starlight I was looking at. I guess that answers that.” Recollection hit her in a flash. Oh right, her other half. The other Starlight was in the midst of what could only be called a tantrum, bucking and shrieking and wailing at the Princess’s concern for her. Like it would kill her to accept that anypony could care about her at all. She should be shouting from the rooftops how lucky she is that the Princess would care so much about her, and instead all she does is moan about it.

“It's me, Princess, the good one! Oh Celestia, I'm so excited to meet you! Anything I can do for you, just say the word, I'm here to help.” She gave the alicorn a broad, proud smile.

She and her other half weren't really separate ponies, not truly. For all the dividing and debating that went on between them, they weren't so distinct at all. It was just a matter of perspective.

Starlight was reminded of an illusion a classmate had once shown her. It was a projection of a ballet pony that appeared to spin in one direction. No matter what angle you looked at it, it spun on in that one direction. The quirk of it, however, was that with a simple mental adjustment, a revisement of how you chose to see this image, the ballerina would suddenly appear to spin the opposite direction. Over and over you could change the direction, all it took was tricking yourself the right way.

And so it was that she was herself again. The memories and feelings she had once othered, she now claimed as her own. The thoughts she had breathlessly insisted were her real ones now sat neglected in their drawers. A simple mental twitch and she could be her other self, her villain self, all over again. But why would she want that? Villain Starlight was miserable.

“That's, uh, great then,” Princess Twilight replied lamely.

“I'm sorry, Princess, did I say something to upset you?” Starlight frowned. Awake for not even five minutes and she had already upset Princess Twilight. At least she wasn't doing it on purpose this time.

“No, no, I'm sorry, Starlight,” Her brow furrowed in concentration, looking for words, “I'm just a bit worried about my Starlight, that's all. I think this whole situation has been really hard on her.” She smiled a sad smile and met Starlight's eyes, “But it's still nice to meet you, er, other-Starlight. Is there something else I can call you? That feels a little mean.”

“Please, Princess, the pleasure is all mine. Call me Glim, if you like, just a silly nickname I picked up in school.” Actually, only Sunburst had ever called her that, but if anypony else had a right to it, it was the Princess of Friendship.

“Glim it is. You can just call me Twilight, it's too stuffy when everypony calls me princess.”

“Okay, Twilight, if that's what you prefer!” She tried to say it as casually as she could, but she was certain she'd failed. She was so giddy she felt she ought to be out of bed and prancing. Villain Starlight would never have stood for such casual closeness between them.

“Can I ask what happened, exactly? You were– well, my Starlight seemed normal enough, but when she saw Sunburst, she collapsed. Then you woke up and now you're you, not her. She's not gone for good, right?”

“Why would you even want her back?” Glim smirked, “She's a monster, not to mention a mess. Luckily, you've got me now!”

Twilight fixed her with such a stern look that it felt like she was burning holes into Starlight’s very core. “She's not a monster.”

Glim laughed awkwardly, caught completely off-guard by the sudden ferocity that faced her, “Twilight, I've heard everything she thinks, especially about you. She's only helping so she can finish what she started and ruin your life instead. I know you convinced Discord to cross the aisle, but maybe this one is a lost cause.”

Twilight stood suddenly, sharply, hooves punctuating on the smooth stone floor, “If that's really what you think, then all those years you spent watching me were wasted.” She didn't say anything after that. She just left the room, the beat of her hooves fading into an echo.

Wasted? How could they be wasted? She knew everything there was to know about friendship, she'd read all the books and she had plenty of friends. There was Sunburst, of course, and ponies from school, whose names were just momentarily escaping her. There was Pinkie Pie, but Pinkie Pie was friends with everypony. Still though, there was– there was–

Rarity! Glim was spared from the line of thought by Rarity trotting into her room. Now here was a pony she knew. Practically every mare in Canterlot knew of Rarity, but much fewer could claim any kind of personal relationship with the mare. It had been the work of months– with a lot of begging her friends for favors– to nab a custom dress and personalized fitting at Rarity’s Canterlot boutique. The dress had been the talk of the school ball that year! She probably still owed some favors for all of it, but what were friends for?

“Starlight, darling, trying something new with our mane are we?” The fashionista walked right up to her bedside, giving her an appraising look, “I like it, very mature, though I'll forgive you needing a brush, bed bound as you are.”

“Rarity! So nice to see you! I'd ask how you've been, but, well,” She gestured her hooves at everything, and nothing in particular.

“Yes, well, that is exactly what I've come to see you about. You disappear for moons, and suddenly show up with Twilight in tow, and she tells us this truly mad story about different timelines and you of all ponies trying to get revenge on her?” Rarity fixed her with a look of concern, “You're just about the last pony I’d expect to, er, have it out with Twilight. Why, you adore her! So what have you truly been up to these past few moons? Obviously it was a daring rescue operation.”

Glim’s stomach instantly tightened into a knot. There were memories she knew she couldn't touch. Her whole recent past was a wad of dread and terror and pain that she dared not examine too closely. Everypony would expect her to know, to remember. She would hear this same question a dozen times before the day was out, she knew it.

“I don't remember much that's recent, unfortunately,” She lied, knowingly and whole-heartedly, “But everything Twilight explained is true. This isn't my body, that's why my mane is different. This is some other Starlight Glimmer, from some other time. The rest of me is here though, I'm the Starlight you remember!”

Rarity gave her a critical stare. Starlight worried she sensed the lie, but the unicorn didn't press. “As long as you're safe, I suppose that's all that matters. Sunburst is just thrilled to have you back– He's desperate to come see you, of course, but you know how busy he gets now. Your big shake-up hasn't exactly helped, either.”

“I don't know,” Starlight clarified, hunching forward and shrinking a bit, “How busy he is. Like I said, I don't remember much that's recent.”

Rarity pursed her lips, “I suppose that can't be helped. I really wish I could stay and fill you in, but I do have work to do, I'm glad I could stop in for a chat.” She stood, and the pair exchanged a quick and careful hug. Rarity made for the door.

“Wait!” Starlight called just before she left. Rarity paused at the door and looked her way. “Why are you here? Twilight seemed certain we'd find you here, but I don't understand why. This place doesn't look like it has much fashion going on.”

Rarity tilted her head like Starlight had just asked the color of the sky, or how many hooves a pony usually has. “There are ponies here who need my help, darling, what is there to do but help them?” She left after that, her hoofsteps retreating the same direction as Princess Twilight's had.

Starlight flopped back into bed. She'd had such high hopes to start with, and immediately she had upset Princess Twilight, and outright lied to Rarity. She knew a little white lie here and there was just what friends did, but this one felt heavier. This one felt dishonest. There was nothing to be done about it, she told herself, something about those memories wasn't safe, and it was easier to lie than try to explain that.

It wouldn't do to mope, however, Starlight was a mare of action. If Sunburst couldn't make the time to come see her, she would just have to go see him herself. She stood from bed, confidently trotted into the hall, and immediately got herself lost.

As she wandered the halls and open caverns, everypony stared at her. It was worse than her villain half ever could have fathomed, they all knew her. Their faces held awe, wonder, confusion, fear. Some of them she recognized, peers and professors and the general citizenry of Canterlot. Most, however, she didn't. Had there truly been this many ponies in Canterlot? Where else could they have come from? How have they survived this long down here? It was a testament to the unbreakable spirit of Equestria, if nothing else.

Her strategy of wandering into each room shouting “Sunburst? I'm looking for Sunburst!” turned out to be effective when ponies in each room she came to began to point out the correct exit from each. Navigating the halls this way, she soon came to a large round room, a perfect hollow hemisphere. In the center was a slab of rock that seemed to serve as a meeting table. Huddled around it were Princess Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Spike, Sunburst, and a gaggle of serious looking ponies Starlight could only assume were Canterlot Guards, given the identical stances they assumed.

A conversation filtered to her in echoes as she stopped at the mouth of the cave. “Can't just… Substitute Element… Need her.” That was Princess Twilight.

“One mare… Suicide mission… Bad enough…” Sunburst. She heard his voice and couldn't help but gasp. It really was him.

Every head in the room snapped her way as her gasp echoed across the floor. She trotted inside, head hunched guiltily forward, “Sorry, everypony, I hope I'm not interrupting…?”

One of the guards gave her a nasty look. “We were just finishing up,” He spat as his entourage joined him on their way out of the cavern. Starlight’s head sank lower. She didn't even know what his problem was.

Her friends– and thankfully, Princess Twilight too– were sporting encouraging smiles as she reached the table and turned to face Sunburst. There was no way to brace herself, she just had to do it.

“Um, hi Sunburst.”

He stared at her, mouth working but no words coming out. After a few moments, still wordless, he set his hooves around her shoulders and pulled her into a fierce hug. She felt tears splash down on her fur. Probably his, but she couldn't tell, she just hugged him even tighter.

They broke apart and their eyes met. “Glim, I…” He started, then shook his head, abandoning his thought, “I'm just glad you're here. It is you, right? You-you? Because Twilight said you might not–”

Starlight put a hoof to his mouth, shutting him up, “It's as me as I can be, Sunny.”

He scoffed at once, “Fine, it's you, don't call me that in front of a princess though!” Behind them, the girls giggled, and he gave her a very pointed look.

She hooked a hoof around his neck and pulled him into a shorter, more casual hug, “Alright, alright, serious Sunburst it is. I can't wait to catch up with you, I'm sure Princess Twilight– er, Twilight, just Twilight, I'm sure she's told you plenty, but just wait until you hear it from me!”

Sunburst gave her an odd look that caught her out, “We were wondering about that, actually. Starlight… You disappeared. For moons! And nopony has any idea where you went except that there's a lot of possibilities and all of them are really bad.”

Starlight broke his gaze, fiery guilt crawling up her back. Was she going to lie to Sunburst too? “I'm sorry, like I told Rarity, I really can't remember much.” Of course she was. Honesty was way easier in theory than practice.

Sunburst cocked a brow at her, “Really? Well, that's a shame. I'm still glad you're back.” She wondered if she’d pay for that one later.

“I guess it's good to be back, even if it sorta feels like it's my first time here,” She glanced back at the princess and her friends, “Sooo, what’d I miss?”

Sunburst drew in breath to speak but Twilight got there first, “We're on our own for this rescue operation, it seems. Your disappearing act left a lot of nervous ponies, and some of them are still convinced we're changelings. We're lucky Sunburst trusts us, but if there's anything you remember that could set the record straight, it would go a long way.”

Starlight stomped a hoof, “Why does nopony believe me when I say I can't remember?”

“Because you're not very convincing,” Spike sniped. She shot him a glare. She didn't get what the villain saw in the little dragon, why settle for Twilight's assistant when the real deal was right there? Sure, Spike had been nice to her, but so had Princess Twilight. She didn't give him the luxury of a response.

“If I remember anything, I'll mention it, I promise. I really do want to help! I just can't, not with that.” She hung her head, playing up the guilt and regret, skidding an anxious hoof along the floor.

“It's okay, Glim, I'm sorry for pushing you. What do you say we go find some food, girls?” Twilight said. Sunburst gave her an odd look at the use of the nickname, but he wasn't about to pry.

“Follow me, I'll show you to your rooms,” Sunburst beckoned and set off back into the tunnel network.

Starlight bumped up beside Sunburst as they walked, eager to chat, “Sooo, you miss me?”

“Oh, miss, sure that's one word you could use, I definitely missed you.” Sunburst seemed exhausted, not at all thrilled.

“What other word would you use?”

“Let's try completely in a panic because I suddenly ended up running this whole operation alone after you decided to run off to Celestia knows where because you never stop to think how your choices affect other ponies.”

Starlight worked her jaw but couldn't find words to reply. That wasn't what she expected. It didn't seem very fair to criticize her with something she didn't remember, even if she was refusing to remember it. It's not like he would know that.

The hurt must have been obvious on her face, because Sunburst glanced over and apologized, “Sorry. I guess that was only sort of you. It's just been a lot since you left, more than I thought I could handle, but here I am, still handling it.”

“I don't know if it means much, but I'm impressed. I'm not sure if I could manage all this the way you have.”

He gave her a funny look she couldn't quite place, “You did manage it. Everything else aside, you're undeniably skilled at getting ponies to do what you tell them.”

Her brow furrowed, “What do you mean, everything else aside? What's the everything else?”

Sunburst immediately looked sheepish and it was clear he wasn't about to elaborate, “Ah, you know, just, haha, certain things about you.” His pace quickened, nervous, “So, Twilight mentioned you visited the Tree of Harmony. Do you remember our report on the Pony of Shadows?”

Starlight nodded twice, for both questions, “Do we know who released him? Or even how?”

“Chrysalis.” The single word made Starlight cringe, the name unsettling something deep inside her. Sunburst didn't notice, continuing, “After Equestria lost most of its magic, she found a way to crack open its prison. Where that is, or how she managed to get it open, we'll probably never know. The Pony of Shadows rose, and everypony thought it would be the end for sure. You only get some many close calls, right? Our scouts told us a mysterious and powerful group of ponies appeared at the same time and drove it into the Everfree. Sometime after that, everypony in Equestria could see the lightshow that must have sealed the Pony of Shadows away. The damage was already done though, the Everfree is nearly impenetrable now.”

Starlight took it all in, slotting the pieces of the puzzle into the theory her other self had already formulated. There were always more questions, but this felt close enough to an answer. She didn't have much to add, and their conversation lapsed into awkward silence as Sunburst led the rest of the way to their quarters.

Their rooms were in an unused wing that appeared to have been occupied at one point. Starlight didn't ask where the ponies had gone, she could guess well enough. Soon after, a guard escort marched in with bowls for each of them, and Starlight joined Twilight and her friends on the floor of their shared hallway to eat. It was an overwhelmingly plain stew full of hardy root vegetables and, unusually for pony fare, mushrooms.

It wasn't bad, per se, but the alien flavor of the mushroom was off-putting and made eating a challenge. Still, it was edible and filling, and answered a number of questions Starlight had about the complex. It wasn't fine dining, but clearly the ponies here ate well if these were the portions they could spare for possible changeling spies.

As their meals were finished, Rarity and Sunburst trotted off down the tunnels and back into the rest of the caverns. A stern looking guard at the mouth of the tunnel made it clear they were not to follow without a good reason. Not quite prisoners, but certainly not allowed to wander. Pinkie Pie yawned and eventually retreated to her room. That left her and Twilight still laying on the cold stone in the middle of a cavernous hallway. Oh. And Spike, but he was snoring.

“Glim,” Twilight began. Starlight tensed, and she knew Twilight saw. “I'm sorry about earlier. In the infirmary. I still think you're wrong, but I shouldn't have snapped at you. You've been through a lot too, I can't imagine it's pleasant to be a passenger like you were.”

Starlight couldn't possibly explain that it wasn't like that. She was herself, she had never stopped being herself, it was a continuous experience. She just looked at herself differently, and suddenly there she was. “She might not be able to come back, I don't want her to,” It was hardly a reply to anything Twilight had said, “If she comes back, I'm her again, and she's miserable.”

“I don't think she is, Glim. I think she's confused and scared and not willing to give herself the chance to be anything but what she's decided to be.”

“You don't hear the things she thinks! Of course she's not willing, she's evil! And if I help fix this, that's what I have to look forward to! Being miserable and awful, trying to ruin your life, trying to ruin a lot of ponies lives.”

“Don't you see? That’s just it! She's known the whole time exactly what's waiting for her. Anypony with eyes could look and see that it was tearing her up inside, but she was helping anyways.” Twilight's tone was sad, pleading. Starlight couldn't stand her obsession.

“Hardly!” Starlight knew it wasn't true, but it was the thing she could muster. She felt betrayed, down to her very core. Her Princess Twilight had finally come, and she didn't even want her. Tears stung at her eyes, “I spent years waiting for you! Waiting for the day you would finally remember me, finally notice me, the day I’d know you'd gone back to save me, because suddenly I'd be real to you, not just some face in the crowd. But it was never going to happen, because this whole time it was you. Some other Twilight who cared so much about some other Starlight, one I'll never be.”

She stood suddenly. She could hardly breathe. Twilight’s face held only concern, pity. Starlight’s blood was boiling. “Well it's too bad! You made me and I'm not budging!” She stalked off towards the cavern that led to her sleeping area, but stopped in her tracks when she heard hoofsteps behind her.

“You're not just walking away from this one.”

“I'm sorry, do only Princesses get to do that?”

“This is serious, Starlight. We still need your help.”

“What am I good for? I don't have anything for you, I'm not an Element, I'm hardly anything without my magic. It's not like your Starlight would make any difference.”

Twilight stomped. It echoed down the cave, then washed back through the way it came. “She has made a difference. She helped convince Applejack, even if that wasn't on purpose. She helped find Fluttershy, she brought Pinkie’s laugh back. She saved Spike's life when you won't even look at him!”

“Fine! What do you want from me? Want me to bring your precious Starlight Glimmer back so she can mope around some more?”

“I want you to remember,” Twilight said quietly, her fire gone, “Sunburst thinks you went into the hive on your own. He thinks that's where you disappeared to. If you did, if you managed to get inside, there might be something we can use.”

Starlight’s heart lurched at just that mention. Her gut knew Sunburst must be right. The dreams of the hive, the changeling queen. She started to panic, if she thought about it too much, she would remember. She tried to think about anything else but her thoughts just kept circling. She was frozen, stiff as a board, when Twilight trotted up beside her and rested a hoof on her shoulder. “I think,” She croaked weakly, “Something terrible might happen to me if I remember.”

Twilight moved in front of her, meeting her eyes. Starlight still felt frozen solid. “We'll be there for you, the whole time. Just consider it. Please.”

Starlight managed a stiff nod and Twilight stepped out of her way. Mechanically, she disappeared down the tunnel and into the safety of solitude. She still wasn't tired, so she laid down on the straw mat bed and felt very alone with her thoughts.

Generosity can be self-sacrifice too.

The thought leapt to mind unbidden, an offering from her other half. Was it self-sacrifice to cut your heart out? Was it generosity to spill your guts onto the floor for the sake of maybe being useful? Was it good and right and moral to consider it only so the Princess would stop loathing her?

There are ponies here who need my help, darling, what is there to do but help them?

She had done everything she could to live up to the ideals of the Elements. Princess Twilight Sparkle had saved her life, and she had idolized her for it, dedicated her life to the Princess for it. So why did she keep coming up short? Why did she keep disappointing her?

Twilight would never say it, but the sickening truth lurked behind every thought. She was hardly honest, lying to everypony’s face. Kind, apparently not, the way she neglected Spike in favor of Twilight herself. Laughter was right out alongside that one, Pinkie Pie was just too grating, even at the best of times. Generosity was the big one for the day, apparently. And loyalty? It said enough that Sunburst was her only real friend after all these years.

Starlight wanted to cry. All those years she felt special, entitled, above the rest because an alicorn, Princess Twilight Sparkle, had personally come to her rescue. All those years, and she was truly a terrible friend.

She wasn't sure when she passed out, after that. Her thoughts just kept looping back on one another, over and over until she was too exhausted to keep it all straight.

She dreamt of the changeling queen's face, and the sound of twigs snapping underhoof.

The moment she woke, uncertain of the hour, she demanded to see Sunburst. Her shouting match with the guard woke the others, but that was almost lucky. A nod of assent from Twilight made him much more cooperative. She was led through the winding paths and eventually to Sunburst’s bedroom, where he sat at a desk, carefully inking out letters by hoof.

“Am I a bad friend?” She demanded as she trotted inside.

“Good morning to you too, Glim. Do you think you're a bad friend?” He didn't look up at her, just kept writing.

“Don't dodge the question, I'm asking you,” She spat back.

He sighed and stopped writing, setting the quill aside and resting his head on his hooves, “If this is about yesterday, we can figure something else out, if you really don't remember then don't torture yourself over it.”

“You don't believe me about that anyways, and you're still not answering the question. Am. I. A. Bad. Friend.” Starlight enunciated each word, stepping closer, a potent mix of anger and fear pumping her heart.

“Fine. You really wanna know, Glim? You wanna know if Princess Twilight's chosen one is a bad friend?” He inhaled, and just the anticipation was an arrow through her heart, she knew what he was going to say. “Yes, Glim, you're kind of not a great friend. You're rude, you lie, you've never kept a promise or returned a favor, half the time you're scheming for a way to get ahead! You disappear for moons and won't tell us why. You've spent your whole life thinking you're entitled to all of this, and it turns out it's all just a cosmic fluke!”

He still wasn't looking at her. That was fine. Good, even. It meant he didn't see her tears splashing on the floor as she turned and ran. Her escort didn't even bother to follow, and she got herself lost in a hurry.

She found herself in what she could only assume was a mushroom farm. Certainly there were mushrooms, and a spare few earth ponies obsessing over them. They were too preoccupied to care about her trying not to sob in the corner of the room. Here she was alone again, desperately trying to corral her traitorous thoughts. Maybe she wasn't so different from her counterpart after all, at least this was a habit they shared.

A villain, or a self-important jerk. It made her want to laugh, that cruel twist of fate. She didn't want to be either version of herself! It was as if destiny itself contrived to see her tormented in every lifetime. Perhaps, if she curled herself into a tight enough ball, the world would forget she existed long enough to eke out some measure of happiness. She had been happy before, but it was all so sour now.

She was curled up so tight she didn't notice hooves approaching her. She only noticed the voice when she said, “Starlight, dear, crying is a terrible look for a lady. Won't you tell me what's wrong?”

Starlight looked up at Rarity, managing a weak smile for her joke. The mare had mud on her hooves and sweat in her fur. Had she been one of the ponies working this farm? Starlight hadn't paid that much attention. “Ever since Twilight stopped Nightmare Moon, ever since I even knew who she was, I've been trying to follow her example. Just knowing what the Elements are wasn't enough though, you need to actually live by them too. I think I've been an awful friend.”

Rarity settled down next to her. She reached over with a muddy hoof to comfort Starlight, but seemed to think better of it. “Darling, we would hardly be ponies if we managed to live by the Elements of Harmony all the time. Do you think even we manage such perfection?”

Starlight's sheepish look was answer enough for the fashionista, “Applejack will tell a lie to save her some grief, Fluttershy can shout with the meanest of them, Pinkie Pie has her moods, and Rainbow Dash thinks more about her fame than her friends.”

Starlight actually managed a smile, clearing her throat, “Forgetting anypony?”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Rarity lifted her chin proudly, “I suppose from time to time I am… Reluctant to inconvenience myself for other ponies. Yes, shocking, I know, the Element of Generosity has in herself a bit of greed!” She smiled and bumped Starlight with her shoulder, “The point is nopony is perfect, us least of all, but when we make mistakes, we also make amends.”

“I've got a whole lot to make amends for, I think. I don't even know where to start.”

Rarity stood and offered a hoof to help her up, “You start with the truth, and a bit of generosity.”

It wasn't long before they were back in the large circular meeting chamber. Starlight, Sunburst, and the girls. Spike too, she kept forgetting him. Her eyes were closed and her breathing as steady as she could force it to be. She knew everyone was watching her. Hoping for her, maybe.

“I'm gonna do it,” She spoke into the silence. Nopony else responded. She shuddered, searching for memories that wanted nothing more than to evade her grasp. So near at hand when unwanted, but almost untouchable when she longed for recall.

But only almost. She grabbed ahold, and memory took her into something more vivid than her dreams.

Starlight sprinted through the tunnels of the changeling hive, every wall identical papery brown, cocoons of ponies strung along each. An amulet bounced against her chest, winged and horned and sparkling with ruby. She could feel the power of its magic coursing through her body. She could feel the weight of its influence on her thoughts, a longing for power, for control. Starlight wasn't thinking about the long term, right now they were unified in purpose. She and her amulet would conquer the changeling queen, she would have fame, worship, with her on top she would rule over all the– but first things first. She couldn't afford to get distracted.

As she dodged patrols and swerved into new tunnels, the chain of changelings to her rear was growing longer. It would be easy to blast them all away, but she needed every single mote of magic for what was to come. She wished she had taken that one changeling up on his idea– Thorax? But no, he would have desired the throne, it was hers to claim. She didn't need help.

Finally, her legs carried her into a broad open chamber. It was dim, lit only by glowing sacs of changeling eggs giving off an eerie green glow.

“Now what have we here,” Came a voice from the shadow, “Another daring, heroic rescue? Another fly in our web?”

“Neither, Chrysalis,” she spat, “I'm here for the throne.”

Chrysalis began to cackle. Her horn sparked sickly green and an orb of light floated free, clarifying the room as a whole. Chrysalis sat on a throne, Princess Cadance to one side, Flurry Heart and the Crystal Heart on the other. Lower on the dais stood Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. She didn't see Princess Twilight, and she wasn't sure if that was good luck or bad. “Just how do you plan to oppose my might, little pony?”

This was her moment. She would end it right here and now. She didn't even respond, she just loosed a bolt of pure energy directly at the changeling queen. It shot out, brilliant and deadly red, and it missed.

Instead of taking the queen in the middle of the chest, her wing was given a new hole, black and sizzling. She blasted again, and again, but the queen was onto her now and wouldn't be caught out again.

Chrysalis shrieked and suddenly the world was all black and skittering.

The changelings that had chased Starlight came swarming out of the tunnel and collapsed on her, kicking and swiping and goring until she fell to the floor. Her horn was pinned to the floor by a hoof, threatening to snap it as the amulet was yanked from her neck. She could only watch helplessly as the Queen took it in hoof, considered it for a few moments, and then slurped the magic out like a snack. Had Tirek taught her that?

“And just like that, there will be no throne for you. Was that your whole plan? Come in here and hope to overpower me? My princesses haven't even moved a muscle!” Chrysalis stood from her throne and stalked towards Starlight, bearing down on her, “Embarrassing.”

Her mind was racing for options, but with the amulet gone, her clarity was soon lost to panic. She was caught, trapped, powerless. There was nothing she could do. Her body went limp, collapsing.

“Is that all you've got for me? You heroes are so boring. Any exciting last words?”

Starlight didn't speak, but she couldn't stop a whimper from escaping her throat. Oh Celestia, she was a terrible friend her whole life, and now she was going to die here, alone. What had she been thinking? Stealing powerful, mind-altering, barely-recovered ancient relics from her own vault. Galloping off on this suicidal rescue mission and for what? Because it was a rescue mission after all, before the amulet got into her head, she had hoped to be the one to finally save Princess Twilight.

“Fine then, boring it is.”

The Queen lit her horn and tossed her head back. Starlight felt herself scooped up from the ground and sent flying. She didn't feel the impact, just heard a crunch like broken sticks. She slid down the wall and back to the floor, squishing a changeling egg beneath her.

Chrysalis did it again. And again. And again. Starlight's mind was a haze of pain, eyes unseeing as she stared towards the ceiling. She couldn't think at all, she was just detached. As Chrysalis loomed overhead, horn glowing one last time, Starlight did the only thing left to do.

She died.

Starlight vomited. She didn't know where she was, when she was, who she even was, but she was certain that she was vomiting. It was hard to miss. A hoof rubbed her back comfortingly. There were voices, but she couldn't make them out. She vomited again, then flopped to her side.

Twilight was there, when her eyes finally opened. The relief was so overwhelming that she heaved a sob, “Oh Celestia…” That brought on more gentle rubbing and sweet soft words whose meanings were lost. She shut her eyes again, briefly, just a moment, she told herself. When she opened them again, she was back in one of their bedchambers. Twilight was there.

“Glim,” Twilight said the moment she noticed Starlight was awake. The alicorn had been crying. “Starlight, I'm so sorry, we never should have pushed you. That was horrible.”

Starlight remembered. She had spoken the story aloud, but her own recollection had been so vivid it dominated her memory. It had been tactile and horrific and absolutely necessary. “I died,” She said numbly, her voice hoarse and weak, like she had been screaming, “I died and I'm here to remember it.”

She grunted as she felt Twilight tug her up into her lap, wings folding around her in a warm hug. They were both silent for a long time while Starlight picked up the mess inside her head. Her mind felt crystal clear and more confused than ever, because this? Twilight's hug? It was comforting. It wasn't sickening, appearing weak, being held by her sworn nemesis. It wasn't giddy and unbelievable and everything she could have wanted from her idol. It was just nice.

Something had shifted in her mind again. Where the two halves had once chafed against each other, they now fit neatly together. She felt like herself again, whatever that meant. The memories remained, but no longer held such urgency, they no longer vied for control. Starlight and her other half had reached an accord.

Twilight broke the silence, “Can I ask which Starlight Glimmer I've got now?”

“Me,” She was quiet, resolute, “It's all just me.”

Author's Note

I get more nervous with each chapter upload

No brakes from here to the end, we're almost through it.