The New Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Saturday, October 18, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today to my likeliness was a surprisingly normal day, of course there was the letter I received from my brother but I’ll tell you about that later. I woke up, did my chores and ate breakfast. I had until 1:00 pm until I opened up my shop, so I had a tremendous amount of time to kill (like those reckless modern day ponies say).  I decided to go to the park and enjoy the lovely sunshine. I trotted to the park and almost sat down on a piece of flavored chewing gum, my word, how can some ponies be that rude. I moved away from the tainted bench and sat down on a lovely, clean bench. I pulled out my favorite manual, the E.S. 000. I opened it and read, My heart did a leap at the part where it say to insert piece A into piece B by first plugging part C into your water line. Pretty exciting, isn’t it? Wait, I’m asking a Diary a question. I am deeply sorry for trying to talk to you Diary sense you’re not a live thing. Oh, I am sorry for saying you are not a living thing, I am only speaking the truth. My word, this madness simply must stop!

When I finished the reading the manual, I still had 3 hours until my shop was to be opened. So, I decided to have some tea and crackers at my home. When I got home I made one cup of tea and delicious crackers. Mmmm, I could go for some tea right now but it’s far too late to have a cup of tea. I simply must stop thinking about it. When I finished my tea and crackers I started to make my way to manual store. At the store, I wasn’t the least bit surprised that half my manuals were still missing. I sold about 3 manuals, 1 blender, 1 heater and sadly the E.S. 000 manual. It was hard for me to sell the E.S. 000 manual, and even though I said in my last entry I would never do such a thing, but I couldn’t turn down a customer like that. But, I promise to myself that I will one day find that manual and read it one more time.

On my commute home I decided to go to the library to get a book on foreign teas, exciting isn’t it? When I entered the library I saw Miss Twilight Sparkle running around the library putting various books into different spots.

She slowed down, “Oh, hey John”

“Good Afternoon Miss Twilight, may I have a book on foreign teas?”

“Sure John, here we go” she levitated a book to me

“Thank you Miss Sparkle, might I ask what are you doing?”

“Cleaning day, John sorry to ask, but can you help me clean the library? I’ll let you keep that book forever.”

Miss Sparkle is such a generous pony, very kind of her.

“Of course Miss Twilight, what do you need me to attend to?”

“Can you restock those books over there?” She said as she pointed to a pile of books.

“With pleasure, Miss Sparkle.”

“Thanks John”

After about one hour of helping Miss Twilight Sparkle, I finally finished and went home with me new book. I was extremely excited, Oh my, I apologize for using such horrible words, forgive me. But in my defense, Foreign Teas for Eggheads, as it’s formally called, is such an interesting book I couldn’t contain myself.

When I arrived home, I read chapter one of my book “Standard Teas”. My goodness that chapter was almost as good as the E.S. 000 manual in whole. Well, I think I should get some sleep. Goodnight Diary.

Sincerely,

John