The Curious Adventure of Nicholas Cage

“I can’t take it anymore!” Twilight stormed out of Fluttershy’s cottage with a loud bang causing the nearby animals to flee into the brush. “I’m fed up with listening to that thing!”

“Twilight,” Fluttershy called down in her usual meek fashion. “I’m sorry. I know he can be rude at times but if you just gave him another chance I’m sure he’ll-”

“I’ve given him enough chances! I’m not staying in the same building as him let alone the same room! What kind a creature starts hitting on you after you just met them?”

“Um…  a very affectionate one who just wants a friend.”

Twilight rested a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “You know you’re one of my best friends, right?”

“I guess so.”

“And you know that as friends we need to be completely honest with one another.”

“Y-yes,”

“Well here is me being honest. You need to suck it up Fluttershy. You’re just letting him walk all over you, more so than Discord. At least that vermin didn’t make you run around like some kind of maid.”

Fluttershy hid behind the corner of her mane, trying to avoid looking at Twilight in the eye. “I-I’m not his maid.”

“He tried to make you wear that outfit,”

“But-”

“with lace.”

“Oh, I-I guess he thought it was funny.”

Twilight rolled her eyes enough to be painfully obvious. “Yeah, hilarious. Just don’t let him start treating you like dirt. You are a proud and respectable mare.”

“I’ll keep that in mind Twilight.”

“In the meantime I better send a letter to Celestia. She’ll probably want to look into this. Maybe she can send it back to wherever it came from, then everypony’s happy.”

“Okay then, have a nice day.”

“I’m sorry but could you please repeat that sentence.”  Nicholas Cage said in a rather mocking tone.

“All I was saying is that I need some help in the garden today, just a bit of work. I thought it would be fair since you plan on staying here for a while. You don’t have to do it… if you don’t want to.”

Nicholas Cage raised an eyebrow curiously at her proposition. He really didn't have anything else to occupy himself with, and looking at himself in the mirror got tiresome hours ago. “Fine, have it your way then.”

“Oh really. That’s just great. I already have everything ready outside if you would like to follow me.”

After rolling his eyes at the yellow mare’s enthusiasm he followed her down the stairs and into the garden. The animals seemed to be quite happily chirping and buzzing around as they arrived, some rushing over to greet their caregiver.

“I have so many animals to introduce you to. I’m sure they would all love to meet you. This little guy here is Fredrick. He’s a real sweet guy once you get to know him.”

“Let me guess…  squirrel?”

“Chipmunk.”

“Close enough.”

“Oh oh oh, and this is Isabella, she had a broken wing and I helped nurse it back to health. She’s been ever so thankful.” The small little bird landed on top of Fluttershy’s head and happily chirped as if in greeting.

“Humming bird?”

“Robin.”

“You sure?”

“Very.”

“Fine then, what else you got?”

Fluttershy looked all around her at all the animals that scampered around in the grass. “Well… there’s just so many of them to introduce. I guess I could show you later…  once we get the chores done I mean.”

“Chores? With a plural?”

The Pegasus shied away slightly behind her mane, almost hurt. “Oh I’m sorry; I should have told you what you were agreeing to. I’m so sorry, you don’t have to help if you don’t want to, I can handle it.”

“If I do them will you please stop whining like that? It’s getting on my nerves.”

She wasn’t exactly to sure how to react to that, but assumed he meant yes. “Um…  I guess so. I-it shouldn’t take too long. Just some work in the garden over here.” She gestured towards a small patch of exposed earth, a number of small sprouts waiting to be planted. “I have some tools in my shed I need to fetch first.”

Nicholas looked over towards the small shed nestled at the back of the garden, the white paint starting to chip of and the corrugated roof losing its colour. Nothing suspicious to be found here. Once he crossed the garden and entered the small dimly lit shed he was horrified to find…

…a very normal shed with very normal items. A bit anticlimactic but what can you do? Fluttershy’s tools were neatly laid out on the wooden bench, Nicholas grabbing a few that looked important before exiting.

Fluttershy was curious at the look the creature had on his face when he returned. “Is everything alright?”

Nicholas clicked back into reality, acknowledging the little miniature horses question. “Yeah, I was just surprised that there weren’t any skinned corpses hanging on the walls an everything. At least that’s what would happen in my dream.”

Fluttershy’s pupils shrunk to pin pricks, unable to fully wrap around her head what it had been suggesting. “L-let’s jus-just move on with the gar-gardening, shall we…?

Nicholas dropped the tools at his feet and brushed off his hand. “Well that’s my manual labour done for today. If you need me I’ll be inspecting your fridge again.” And with a swagger in his step he made off back towards the cottage door. Fluttershy’s protests only escaped as faint whimpers, but took a deep breath and did the job by herself anyway.

“It’s okay Fluttershy; he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s your guest after all, you can’t expect him to just do the chores with you. He has every right to relax after such a traumatic event. Oh goodness, I hope I haven’t made him feel guilty about it. I’m such a careless pony. After this I’ll be sure to back him another cake, just the way he likes it. Oh, I have an even better idea.”

“I thought you said this was a good idea?” Nicholas questioned as Fluttershy lead him to what appeared to be a number of Beehives. Fluttershy had brought with her a couple of funny looking hats to shield their faces, although it failed to cover his entirely.

“I- I just thought it would be a great idea for us to get some fresh honey for some baking. I know how much you love my baking after all.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s okay.”

“Wonderful, I’ll introduce you then.” Fluttershy’s smile broadened as she lead the creature towards one of the closest hives. Opening the lid she was greeted with an erratic buzzing as honey bees began to swarm around the area. Fluttershy had never been a fan of using a smoker, ever since Angel became a bit too curious with it one day. She thought her heart would necer stop racing.

Nicholas didn’t seem to be having a great time as she had expected though, at first looking a little disinterested but then slightly worried. The bee’s seemed to take a funny interest in him, one which Fluttershy simply smiled at. “I think they like you Mister Cage, I’m sure we’ll get all the honey we need for today.”

But then he began to swat them away as they got too close, backing away as more of them seemed to be drawn towards him. He began to flail his arms around wildly as more seemed to arrive, but only served to agitate them further. At the back of his neck he felt a sharp sting as the bees began to retaliate, another aimed straight at his arm. “Ow!  Fucking hell!” He barked as he continued to swat them away.

“Oh, Mister Cage, please try not to anger them. They can-”

“Why is it always the bees?! Why?!”

“I’m sure if you just-”

“Not the bees, anything but the bees!”

“Maybe if-”

“Ahhhhh, aahhhhh!!!”

“Oh dear Fluttershy, you just can’t seem to get anything right.”

“Oh god, noooooo!!!

Nicholas Cage sat on Fluttershy’s couch, wrapped up with a soft feather blanket and a hot cocoa to help make him feel better. This wasn’t helping, and the underrated actor sat there with a permanent scowl on his face aimed in no particular direction. His face, neck and arms were peppered with stings and sores, all of which Fluttershy had tried her best to attended to.

When the shy mare pocked her head around the corner from the kitchen Nicholas didn’t look up. “I- I made chocolate cake…  your favourite. Di-did you want a slice.”

He did not respond.

“Oh…  okay then. How about some honey c- no, actually that’s a bad idea. I’m sorry.” She sunk back into the kitchen with a frown that hung at her knees. She just couldn’t seem to get any of this right; everything she had tried had been a disaster. Maybe this just wasn’t for her.

“No.” She thought. “I have to keep trying. Remember what Dash keeps telling you, you can’t give up just because a few things bring you down. You’ve got to get right back up again.”

A sudden crash from the other room alerted Fluttershy that something was wrong in the living room. As she peeked around the corner saw Angel swipe the cocoa from Nicholas’s hands and proceed to hop around the room with him in hot pursuit. Tables were knocked over and pictures came crashing to the ground, even one of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash as small fillies at summer flight camp.

“You stupid fucking rabbit, that’s mine! I’ll get you!”

The yellow mare sighed, giving the devious bunny a sudden glare which caused him to halt on the spot. “No Angel, that is not nice. Give Mister Cage back his cocoa now or so help me!” Angel nervously complied, jumping up and handing the drink back to the creature.

“Thank you. Now if you could be a big help I sure would appreciate it if you could help me fix up the room.” Angel gave a quick salute and hoped around to hang up the pictures he had accidentally knocked down. Nicholas resumed his seated position upon the couch as if nothing had happened.

“So you’re really okay with this Mister Cage?”

“Yeah yeah, let’s just make it quick.”

“Oh…  well if that’s what you want, we don’t have to be very long. I’m sure Twilight will be more than happy to see you again.” That last part felt kinda forced.

Fluttershy had only managed to convince Nicholas to come outside again after she mentioned a library. Heck knows why that got him interested; she was just spit balling ideas, but whatever works I guess. “Here we are then.”

With a couple of soft taps on the door Twilight rushed to answer it. “Oh hello Fluttersha-sha-sha…  what is he doing here? Don’t you remember what happened…   last time?”

“That’s okay Twilight, he’s much politer now. I think my methods are working on him.” Fluttershy seemed a little less than confident, which wasn’t very reassuring for Twilight.

She facehoofed. “Alright, alright fine. He can come in, just try to keep him under control while I’m working. Celestia has tasked me with figuring out how he got to this world in the first place and I need full concentration.”

“Oh of course, don’t you worry about it. I’m sure I’ll be able to handle just one of him. When you get to know him he isn’t so bad, isn’t that right Mister Cage?”

Nicholas was way ahead of her, rummaging around the shelves with a sense of determination and purpose. It perplexed the two mares who for the most part watched as he chucked books aside in search of what he was looking for. About another few minutes of this, through which Twilight had made them both a cup of tea, he seemed to have finally found what he was searching for. He didn’t make it too obvious, slipping the small book into his jacket and exiting the library quickly.

Twilight stood open jawed while Fluttershy covered her mouth in surprise. “Did he just…”

“Yup.”

“But why…?”

“I dunno.”

“Well which one did he take?”

Twilight trotted over towards the shelf from which he had discreetly taken the small book. “Let’s see; FAL, FAP, FAR…  here we are.”

“So which book did he take?” Fluttershy asked, looking out the door to make sure he didn’t get out of sight.

Twilight’s face sunk to a rather annoyed scowl, slamming her face into the shelf. “Daring Doo and the Book of Secrets.”