It was quiet. Too quiet. There were dozens of native ponies on this island and yet all Twilight could hear was the sand brushing underneath her hooves and the hooves of her friends and the wind howling against the Cyclopean towers and cavern-like "houses" surrounding them. As she and her friends wandered, there were two unnaturally neat rows of "ponies" standing on each side of them, staring at them with eyes that looked like they had been dotted on by a pen. Some were smiling. Others had neutral expressions. And at least one had a frown crudely drawn on it. And they all looked like they were made out of felt.

"Welcome," one native said, bopping his head as he spoke.

"Welcome," another said, doing the same.

"Welcome," a third one said, just like the previous two.

Many a thought floated around Twilight's head as she continued to trot forward, listening to the natives repeating the same greeting through their constantly-closed mouths. Were these ponies cursed? Did Discord mess with the Cutie Map and send her into another dimension filled with pony-sized hoof puppets as a prank? And why does this all feel so familiar and yet so different? When the natives on both sides stopped talking and stood still, Applejack cautiously cantered towards Twilight.

"You gettin' a sense of deja vu here?" Applejack whispered.

"A little," Twilight quietly replied, "But if what's happening here is similar to what happened in Starlight's village, then we know what we're getting into."

The sand rustled beneath them as another native hovered in front of them. He was different from the other natives. He was wearing a navy-blue suit with a red tie, his coat was more orange than an actual orange, and his blonde mane looked like a combover despite being just as stitched-on as the manes of the other natives. Even his face was different from the others in that it looked more detailed if slightly grotesque.

"What up, my fellow Equestrians?" the orange pony said with a thick Manehatten accent, "Turnip Wolf here. Businesspony, media mogul, and PM of this entire island. That means 'president', by the way."

Twilight awkwardly nodded, "Yes, I know what a PM is."

"So, what brings your royal rump around here?" Turnip asked.

Twilight hesitated, glancing nervously at the felt ponies lining the streets. "Has there been any...trouble here? Like an argument between two ponies?"

Turnip guffawed, "Argument?! Are you kidding?! It's election season!"

Twilight incredulously looked at Turnip, "Election season?"

"Yeah," Turnip replied, "You got hard-working Celestialist ponies like me trying to stick to the old way of doing things while making sure everypony else is doing their bit earning their bits. And then you got these spoon-fed secessionists that talk smack about Our Majesty and even have the gall to whine about not having any rights even though they have more rights than their ancestors!"

Twilight continued to stare at Turnip with incredulity. She did not know much about politics but from what she read about elections and voting ponies into office, it was a simple matter of changing hooves. And if somepony were to lose an election, they would just shake hooves with their rival and congratulate them on a job well done before waiting until their death, resignation, or the next election. Why wouldn't they be a good sport? They serve the same princess and have the same principles as everypony else. The only differences between the various candidates in Equestria's electoral history are how many houses are going to be built in their name and if taxes were going to be higher or lower.

"By the way, I read your Friendship Journals," Turnip continued, "Mind givin' it a sign while you're here?"

Before Twilight could answer, a loud scream pierced the silence between herself and Turnip. It came from a distance. She galloped to the source of the scream with her friends in tow and found a sight just as weird as everything else on this island. Two life-sized hoof puppets laying on the ground, one of which with a knife made of felt stitched onto its hoof. They were both covered in ketchup, or what Twilight assumed was ketchup judging by the smell and texture. Floating in the sea not too far from them, there were what appeared to be three filly-sized hoof puppets. As she continued looking at the scene, two other ponies galloped next to her. While one was predictably made of felt and had what would have been a frizzy brown mane if it was made from anything other than felt, the other was very different. Unlike the other ponies she had seen on this island, he was a flesh-and-blood pony. A unicorn, to be precise, with grizzled features, a short dark-grey mane, and a five-o'clock shadow. While the sight of an actual pony on this island should have been enough to dissuade Twilight from thinking everypony else was cursed into being life-sized hoof puppets, she still had a nagging sense that something was going on with this island.

The detective pony flashed his badge at Twilight, "Banner Mark and Eggs Benedict, DIs. Mind telling me what happened here?"

"Um..."Twilight hesitantly replied, "I was hoping you'd know."

The puppet detective turned to face Twilight and Banner, "It's quite elementary. The angle on the cut of this mare's throat and the position of her hoof that is still holding the weapon implies that, rather than being attacked, she had slit open her own throat, with the resulting arterial spray splashing all over what I assume to be her husband."

"And the husband?" Banner asked.

"Hmm..." Eggs wondered, "There's no sign of any physical struggle, nor are there any open wounds or bruising. But from the unnatural angle of his neck, I'm inclined to believe that he either fell down from the blood of his wife blinding him and landed on an object that, to use laypony terms, broke his neck or the more exciting theory that somepony snuck up behind him and snapped his neck.

Banner scoffed, "You still on that cult theory of yours?"

"That depends if I find the words 'wake the baby' written somewhere," Eggs replied, "That seems to be a pattern with the previous murders."

Twilight stared at Banner and Eggs as they debated about the conspiracy the puppet had rattling around in his head. The idea of a cult running around this place would have lined up with her initial theory about the island being cursed to slowly turn everypony in it into puppets but she realized that theory was getting more and more ridiculous. Especially since the "murder" scene had the victims sprayed with ketchup for blood. Maybe the friendship problem was between the two detectives? She had read enough buddy cop novels to know that one cop is the polar opposite of his partner and yet they have to put aside their differences to work on whatever case they're assigned to. It was half-tempting to point out to the two detectives that they missed out on the three filly puppets floating in the ocean but, by the time Twilight turned around, the filly puppets were gone. Swept to the seas. As Twilight looked, she could see how her friends were unnerved, especially Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

"Did I act like that on my birthday?" Pinkie whispered to Rainbow Dash.

"Kinda," Rainbow whispered back.

"Look, we don’t have a lot of time," Banner said, his voice sharp with urgency as he turned to face Twilight and her friends, "You mares mind helping us out? I think we can cover more ground if we split up and search the island for clues."

Author's Note

Despite being referred to as "hoof puppets", the puppets on the island are actually more like finger puppets.