The New and 'Improved' Adventures of Cum-Drum

“Yeesh… How the heck did Twilight not get freaked out about this place?”

Spike shuddered to himself with an uneasy grimace. As his green eyes scanned around the dark and desolate-looking space, he quickly worried that he hadn’t brought enough light-sources with him inside his backpack. Sure, he may have had literal fire-breath, but he also knew that those abilities wouldn’t mean much once his plans were met. And as he looked more cautiously around the interior of the abandoned castle, all he would think about was the pony lagging behind him.

“Uhhhh, you alright back there?” Spike turned his head and stopped his movements, taking that moment to readjust the straps on his backpack. He glanced back at the main entrance of the dusty, cobblestone archway that once served at the castle’s front doors. It was wild to believe that this once housed Princesses Celestia and Luna over a Millennium ago, and even more so that the structure survived in the Everfree Forest and its unmaintainable conditions that entire time. Even nowadays, with the remains of the castle accessible enough for even kids to reach it by hoof, the untamed wildlife and dangerous terrain made Spike cautious about his plans. “Hey, are you coming in or not? You really shouldn’t be out there alone!”

“Yeah, I know, I know…” A slightly pudgy stallion appeared at the crumbled archway that used to be an entrance, carefully stepping past centuries-old debris with a skewed muzzle. He brushed back his shaggy black & white mane with a hoof, groaning to himself from how badly he was sweating already. The tan pony was also carrying supplies in a pair of saddlebags over his back, which hid his cutie mark of a Speech Bubble from view. As he entered the castle, he couldn’t help staring around with a stunned look of awe. “Whooooaaaaa… So, this is the place, huh?”

“Mmhmm! The Castle of the Two Sisters…” Spike took that moment to pick up a large hunk of crumbled rock beside him, which he tossed as hard as he could down the hallway. It made a loud crashing noise in the distance, causing the stallion to wince when he heard the rumbling echoes all around the castle grounds. After a long moment of wait, Spike huffed with a satisfied smile and shrugged his head. “Alright then! It seems like there aren’t any creatures to worry about inside this place.”

The pony’s muzzle skewed with apprehension, but he ended up huffing in frustration when a lock of his monochromatic mane dropped over his eyes. He tried blowing his hair out of the way through the side of his muzzle, but all that did was brush it away for a second before it swung back down. He groaned again before shaking his head, his annoyance helping to distract him when he ventured inside the centuries-abandoned building. “Ugh, I still don’t understand why we have to be here of all places.”

“Hey, you wanted that Limited Edition copy of the ‘Daring Do Remastered Omnibus,’ didn’t you?” Spike was already halfway down the lengthy hallway, which was only partially lit by the few remaining candlesticks still attached to the walls. Spike’s fire-breath may have been useful in getting them all lit at once, but the hallway still had more ominous shadows than a horror video game. However, the pony wasn’t able to consider stepping back before seeing Spike reach into his backpack. The dragon looked back at him with a knowing grin, and showed the top of his book to let him see the purple faux-leather binding. “I’d rather make the exchange in the library in this place, though. Twilight inspected the room herself, and she’s come here enough times for me to trust it as a safe space.”

Spike reached the double-doors near the end of the hall, and opened them up to allow a strong amount of sunlight to come out and better illuminate the hallway. He then stepped into the room, making sure to call out, “Okay, it’s all safe in here, Quibble! I don’t see ANY bats or spiders…”

The stallion sighed with a flatter look, and muttered to himself sarcastically, “Oh, yipee…”

Despite his apprehensions, Quibble Pants decided to go down the hallway and follow Spike into the supposed library. Luckily for the pony, his brows rose with an impressed look the moment he turned the corner and saw how the room actually looked. There were literally hundreds, if not thousands of ancient books stacked all around the room’s wall-sized shelves and various piles on the floor. Even though Twilight made an effort to rescue most of the castle’s inventory months ago, there were still enough books left to make this space a surprisingly chill hangout spot. It also helped that the library’s construction helped strengthen its walls over the years, which made this whole space look much younger and better maintained overall.

“Oh, wow. Ummm…” Quibble Pants was left pleasantly surprised as he looked around, noting some of the clearly “new” furniture left behind from Twilight’s previous visits. It was nothing more than some old beanbag chairs and some second-hoof tables from a thrift shop, but they helped to give a more inviting feel despite the setting. Spike was already setting things up at one of the coffee tables, pulling items out of his backpack and acting like he’d been here dozens of times before. That was enough to make the stallion walk inside with a flustered scoff. “Heh… I guess this isn’t the worst place I’ve been to get some Daring Do merch…”

Spike made sure to pull out his limited edition Omnibus, which he carefully placed at the corner of the table beside his stack of comic books. However, one particular comic was placed aside from the others, which made Quibble Pants come up with a more curious gaze. Even though he wasn’t the biggest Power Ponies fancolt, he recognized the cover page as being the introduction of one of the smaller-tier villains: Big-Scale. Of course, when he came up closer behind Spike, Quibble tilted his head when he realized the artwork looked slightly different from the standard publishing. “Hmmm… Is that a Limited Edition too?”

Spike noticed where the pony was pointing, and he replied with a scoff and a cheeky-looking grin. “Hmph~ Well, uhhh… Let’s just say, this particular comic is the reason I wanted to ask for your help…”

Spike made sure he had everything in place, before turning his head to smirk at Quibble. “So tell me, Quibble Pants… Have you ever heard of Enchanted comic books?”

The dragon expected for Qubble to just shrug or awkwardly ask what he meant; but much to Spike’s surprise, the pony’s eyes widened in shock. Quibble looked between him and the comic, his muzzle opening up with a more confounded look. “Wait, you mean… You… You actually FOUND somepony who made those?!”

Immediately, Quibble Pants’ face lit up all excitedly. He took a step back from Spike, but still had a confounded smile when he stared down at the comic. “Oh my gosh! I mean… I knew that some unicorns had that ability, but I didn’t think anypony still SOLD them! Where the heck did you find one?!”

Despite his surprise at Quibble’s reaction, Spike huffed with a smile and shrugged his head. “Well, uhhh… let’s just say, after learning more about myself, I’ve been able to make really good friends with certain contacts in exchange for, errr… services~”

The little dragon snickered to himself, not noticing the sigh and eye-roll that Quibble made behind his back. Even though Quibble wasn’t too familiar with Spike on a personal level, the dragon’s exploits were known well enough that ponies outside of Ponyville were aware of his reputation. Quibble shook his head as he scoffed to himself. “Ahh, I see… Not gonna lie, I couldn’t see myself doing THAT for some comic books.”

“Pbbt~” Spike just narrowed his eyes on him while keeping a smirk. “For your information, I don’t actually take any payments for my services. That was kinda part of the deal I had with Twilight regarding it, so I don’t accidentally trigger my Dragon Greed again or whatever…” Spike then picked up the comic book that caught Quibble’s eyes, and added, “In fact, I actually paid full-price for this particular comic.”

“Oh! Uhhh… my bad…” Quibble Pants ended up averting his eyes while scratching the back of his mane. “Heh~ Sorry, I just kinda assume you got that for a blowjob or something.”

“I mean, I did blow him,” replied Spike as he turned back to the table. “I did a lot of other stuff for him too, but that wasn’t for the comic book. I just felt like it, y’know?~”

That addition was enough to make Quibble raise his brows in shock. With Spike now with his back to him, the pony was able to look the dragon up and down to note how small he still was. Sure, Spike may have been a legal adult by Equestrian age-standards, but his physical form was still pint-sized and youthful compared to his Element friends. Of course, when details like draconic lifespans and mental-maturity have to come into play, Quibble knew better than to question things. All he knew was that Spike was an adult, so he took that answer with a reluctant shrug.

“Oh, well ummm… Good for you, I guess…” Quibble chuckled to himself awkwardly while rubbing the back of his neck. “So… what was it that you needed from me again?”

“Oh! That’s really simple…” Spike held up the ‘Power Ponies’ comic in his claw, and opened it up to the middle section. “Okay, so you seem to already know how these Enchanted comics work, right?”

“Umm, yeah… I do.” Quibble nodded his head, but his eyes were narrowed with uncertainty while staring at the dragon. “Although… I’m pretty sure Enchanted Media has been illegal for decades, haven’t they?”

“Technically yes, but that’s mostly because safety protocols are nearly impossible to enforce…” Spike then pointed back at Quibble with a free claw. “Don’t worry though, the Everfree Forest is outside of Equestria’s jurisdiction, so neither of us will get in trouble out here.”

“Well, maybe not legally…” Quibble Pants may have shrugged his head, but his eyes narrowed on Spike with greater suspicion. “Wait, so… you wanted me to come all the way out here so you can get sucked off into a comic book?”

“It’s a little more than that…” Spike turned around to show Quibble the well-drawn double-page spread in the middle of the comic, which featured a dark-looking corner office that went across both pages. One one page, a muscular red dragon was sprawled out behind his desk with his bare feet on the table, and his claws behind his head while sporting a cocky fanged grin. On the other page opposite of ‘Big-Scale,’ the Power Ponies’ sidekick character Hum Drum was standing at the open doorway all alone, clearly facing off against the villain himself. Meanwhile, Spike was grinning wide while showing Quibble the scene printed out. “Okay, before I explain things, have you read this issue before?”

“Oh yeah! I read the Big-Scale issue back in high school. Uhhh… wait…” Quibble Pants tilted his head, and he leaned in closer to inspect the comic. “What the… Is that white-out?”

“Well, I had to make a few necessary edits to make my plans work…” Spike flipped back a few pages, showing how much work he spent altering various characters’ dialogue and exposition blocks. Quibble was honestly impressed by how well the dragon edited things, almost looking professional with how closely Spike matched the fonts and lettering. Of course, as soon as Quibble actually read what had been changed, his head reeled back with his brows raised.

“WHOA! Uhhhh…” Quibble looked a bit more unnerved when he glanced back at the smirking dragon. “... Dude, you know how old Hum Drum is, right?”

“I already changed that detail here…” Spike flipped back to the beginning of the comic, where he showed his near-perfect edits on the page showing Hum Drum and his stats. Quibble still looked uncomfortable, but he shrugged after seeing the character’s age and background have been altered. “And it’s going to be me in there, so it’s not that big of a deal…”

Spike then went back to the main spread of Hum Drum vs. Big-Scale. “Now, in the original version of this scene, Hum Drum tried using an untested smoke-bomb against Big-Scale to take him down, remember?”

“Uh-huh, and then Big-Scale used his claws to break it instantly.” Quibble was just about to reach out and turn to the next page himself, but stopped himself when he recalled how the comic went. “Wait, uhh… Didn’t Hum Drum get tied up after that?”

“Well, he’s shown tied up and gagged several pages later, but the comic doesn’t actually show what happened between the capturing scene and that moment. Which means…” Spike grew a much more dastardly grin while holding his comic with both claws. “If I’m able to play my cards right, I could get some action with Big-Scale literally behind the scenes~”

“Aaahhhh…” Quibble understood enough of that plan to nod accordingly. However, his muzzle was still skewed when he stared back at the altered comic. “Okay, so… you edited an enchanted comic book yourself, and now you plan to go inside of that comic alone… Just so you can have sex with the villain?”

“Mmhmm!~” Spike nodded all chipper, and then glanced back at Quibble to perk his brows. “Hey, if you had the idea yourself, wouldn’t you consider it?”

Quibble raised a hoof and looked like he was about to say something; however, he ended up closing his muzzle when he thought the question over. “Ehhhh… Well, maybe not for sex specifically…”

“Hmph~ Yeah, sure…” Spike rolled his eyes with a playful scoff. “Anyway, that’s the big reason I needed you here. I have no idea how the enchanted comic works after editing it, so I need somepony on the outside to get me out if things go wrong. And since Twilight enforced the Enchanted Media ban herself, I can’t exactly ask her to do it.”

“Okay, so…” Quibble looked around the library for a moment, before turning back to Spike and asking, “Basically, all I have to do is wait for you to do your little sex-scene, and then I get the book?”

“That’s the plan!” Spike put the opened comic on the table, and then pushed the Daring Do Omnibus towards Quibble. “If everything goes right, you won’t need to do anything.”

“Well, that’s good to know…” While Quibble went to inspect the book thoroughly, Spike was doing the same as he double-checked all the edits he made in his comic. It took hours worth of whiting out dialogue bubbles, re-writing new exposition with specialized ink, altering multiple panels worth of outfits, and even drawing certain… appendages to the best of his artistic ability. Fortunately, years of experience writing out thousands upon thousands of journals and memos made him surprisingly dexterous when it came to illustrations. All he could hope was that he double-checked every plot point outside of his edits, and that he provided himself a safe means of escape if absolutely necessary. Lustful endeavor or not, the last thing he needed was for Quibble to go out and fetch Twilight if he got trapped in his own hentai…

“Alright, I think we have a deal!” Quibble looked happy with the quality of Spike’s book, and he tucked the Omnibus into his own saddlebags for safe keeping. “Oh! Ummm… What guarantee do you have that I won’t get sucked into the comic too? Because I’m in a serious relationship, and I really don’t want to jeopardize that.”

“Oh, don’t worry! I was actually wanting someone who I know won’t be tempted, and Rainbow Dash said you’re a total wife-guy worth trusting.” Spike smiled at him with a wink, surprising Quibble enough to smile flatteringly.

“Heh~ Well, uhhhh… I’m not married yet, but thank you. Honestly, I didn’t think Dash wou--HEY!”

Spike took that moment to quickly snatch Quibble’s saddlebags from his back. “So to ensure that you won’t be pulled into the story with me, I kinda need you to step outside the room while I do the spell myself. And I’m keeping your bag here so you actually have a reason to come back and fulfill your end of the deal.”

“Oh, come on! I’m…” Quibble closed his muzzle with a conflicted wince, seeing how firmly Spike was eyeing him while holding the saddlebags in his outstretched claw. He eventually sighed and relented with a shrug. “Ugh, fine. I… I understand.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll definitely be able to tell when it happens. Even with the door closed…” Spike turned his attention back to the enchanted comic book, which he opened up to the very last page. There was a blank page right after what looked to be the final printed panels, which caught Quibble off-guard when he leaned in from behind. While Spike reached for his magnifying glass, Quibble tilted his head and noticed the tiny block of text at the very bottom of the blank page.

“Wait, is that how it works? Just… replacing the final page with an incantation for the reader to find?” He scoffed and shook his head before pulling away from Spike’s backside. “Yeesh, no wonder Twilight wants those banned! They could’ve at least included the final page of that issue regardless. Leaving it empty and behind a spell like that is like… Extortion!”

“Yeah, I agree it is dangerous in the wrong hooves…” Spike turned around to show off the magnifying glass in his claw, as well as a cheeky grin on his face. “... Which is why I’m very happy not to have any myself~”

Quibble Pants just sighed with an eye-roll, and then turned around with a wave of his foreleg. “Ugh, whatever. As long as I don’t get myself involved…”

Spike nodded in understanding, but waited until Quibble was almost outside the room to call out. “Oh, and one more thing!”

Quibble Pants stopped and turned his head, seeing the warm and sincere smile on Spike’s face. “I just wanna say, Clear Sky is really lucky to have you.”

That was enough to make Quibble smile just as genuinely. “Aww, thanks!” He waved more politely, and exited the room so Spike could do his thing.

“Alright, let’s get to it!” Spike hopped up on the stool, and made a quick stretch before turning his focus on the comic. He leaned in close to the open page, and magnified the text with his glass to read it outloud. “A’hem… You can return to the place you started when Big-Scale is defeated. Take a closer look, to join the adventure in this book!”

The last time Spike read those words in an Enchanted Comic, he felt like he was caught up in a horror movie from how badly he struggled against the magical portal he accidentally opened up. And just like the previous time, Spike’s words caused the open comic to almost immediately be activated with a gust of bright light. The pages lit up with thick streams of enchanted magic, before a bright-white light ballooned out from the middle of the book.

“Ooh! It still works!~” Happy his edits didn’t affect the comic’s abilities, he acted the exact opposite to its activation compared to last time. Instead of trying to escape the portal’s magnetic pull, the little dragon just took a deep breath with his smile all wide and eager. He threw out his arms and his wings, fully accepting the spell as he closed his eyes and let himself get pulled in. “Hehehehe, here we goooooOOOOOOOO--”

In a matter of seconds, Spike’s whole body was yanked off the stool, and pulled towards the book on the table. Unlike his previous time, the dragon was able to transfer into the comic in less than a second. He plunged through the portal crotch-first, and let out a triumphant cry of success just before disappearing from his mortal plain. The book closed itself shut immediately after, ending the portal and shutting off the gravitational pull. Several seconds passed, before the doors to the library reopened slowly.

“Uhhhh… is it okay to come in?” Quibble Pants heard nothing in response, but he still cautiously poked his head through the gap of the doors. Seeing that the comic was closed shut, AND that Spike had seemingly disappeared from sight, he could only assume that the spell worked exactly as intended. He trotted towards the table, his muzzle skewed as he looked over at his saddlebags for a second. But instead of just leaving Spike alone like a dick, Quibble sighed and decided to take a seat. “Hmmm… Well, I might as well give this a read to make sure he’s okay…”

Quibble Pants picked up the enchanted comic, and he plopped down on a pile of ornate pillows to get himself seated. And since he already read the storyline before, he decided to flip through the pages before reaching the beginning of Hum-Drum’s story arc. “Ahh, here we go… OH!”

As soon as he started reading the text blocks at the top of the page, Spike’s edits made him raise his brows in surprise. “Whoa, uhhh… Okay, this might be interesting after all~”

Meanwhile in Maretropolis…

“Oh, nice! It actually worked!”

That speech-bubble appeared right over Hum-Drum’s head in the first panel, while the little dragon stood underneath with an excited smile. He was standing at the top of a tall building, with the next panel showing it was overlooking the “secret” hideout of Big-Scale. Of all the places for a draconic villain to hang out in an Equestrian city, an abandoned reptile pet-store was about as obvious as any other Power Ponies villain. Sure, the villain himself was a former Komodo Dragon that “evolved” after being doused in radioactive chemicals, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pick a regular office building or something.

Either way, the next panel showed Hum-Drum fiddling his claws with a devious grin. Another speech-bubble appeared beneath the dragon that read, “Oh, this is perfect! Now’s my time to, err… ‘Prove my Worth to the Power Ponies’. Heh heh~”

The next panel showed Hum-Drum zipping down the side of the building on a rope and harness, almost looking like he was defying gravity by running down the walls. However, Quibble Pants tilted his head while reading the comic, noticing the visible tent protruding from the crotch of his skimpy shorts. He wasn’t sure if that was an edit Spike drew in before, or if it was just how the dragon was really looking within the comic’s enchanted confines. He still landed on all-fours on the ground regardless, taking a confident superhero pose with a determined smirk on his face.

“Hmph…” A smaller panel was nestled right near the bottom of the page, showing Hum-Drum’s claw unzipping something from his Utility Belt. In the original print of the comic, the pony had pulled out a small emergency communicator the size of a compact disc. However, Spike apparently decided to alter the artwork well enough to make it look like a… condom wrapper? The bright-pink tab of foil was shown in more detail in the next panel, while a still smirking Hum-Drum was looking away from it with his speech bubble unedited from the original story. “I really don’t think I need to worry about this tonight…”

Originally in Power Ponies, Hum-Drum had tossed aside his communicator because he thought he had discovered Big-Scale’s weakness, thus wouldn’t need any help to defeat him. But now with Spike’s edits, the shattered device shown in the last panel was now a condom wrapper ripped in half, with part of the prophylactic still sticking out to indicate it wasn’t taken. Quibble Pants sighed with a worrisome wince, but continued to read out of obligation. “Yeesh, he’s really gonna take a radioactive villain bareback? At least get a hazmat suit or something…”

On the next page, the first panel showed Hum-Drum leaned back against the wall beside the shop’s back door. With three panels back-to-back, his claws were shown using a lockpicking kit to get the door opened up. Several more panels went by with no dialogue bubbles or establishing text, just showing the little dragon moving through the “abandoned” storefront with his tongue sticking out in concentration. Just as he made it to the doorway leading down to the stairs, he made the same mistake as the lad in the original comic when he opened the door too far. It bumped against an end-table holding an old pottery vase, and the whole bottom of the page emphasized a loud ‘CRASH’ onomatopoeia text over Hum-Drum’s head. His eyes were even given the same close-up to show a look of horror, while another sound effect was shown in red text underneath him. ‘RRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH…’

Hum-Drum was lucky enough to jump into the bathroom right beside that doorway, and got the door shut without even the tiniest sound-effect text shown on the panel. Another panel was completely pitch-black, aside from Hum-Drum’s eyes and another growling ‘RRRRRRRRRR…’ in blood-red letters near the top. Fortunately, more sound-effects were shown to indicate the being stomped around a bit, before disappearing back down the stairs. The next page established the sight outside the bathroom door, with several holes in the wooden floor of the hallway where Big-Scale was stomping around. It also showed the light leading down the basement was lit up by a hanging lightbulb, which was what the hero used in the original comic. Of course, Quibble already read the story before, so he knew that Hum-Drum had a couple pages to hype himself in the mirror before he left the bathroom…

Of course, as soon as he turned the page to see the sequence in this story, Quibble reeled his head back with his eyes wide-open. “WHOA!”

When it came to the Enchanted Comic’s various edits, Spike really allowed his artistic merit to shine when it came to altering the “Self-Confidence” scene. In the original story, Hum-Drum was getting himself dressed in a new costume he made himself, and was planning to rename himself ‘The Drummer’ as part of a new persona. It was quickly dismissed and re-tooled a few issues later, with many fans considering the moment more of a joke than actual character development for the sidekick. And judging by Spike’s alterations, it seemed that he had his own ideas for how the scene could be improved…

The first panel had a lightbulb being illuminated, allowing the hero to be seen alone in the bathroom. The panel beside that had a closeup of Hum-Drum leaning into the mirror with a serious stare, despite the visible beads of sweat across his forehead. “You got this, Hum-Drum… Hmmmm…”

His eyes narrowed on his reflection in another closeup, showing a look of contemplation before he gave a smirk to the mirror. “Actually… Maybe this isn’t a job for Hum-Drum~”

The next array of panels that filled the page were meant to be looked through in quick succession like a “Montage” of sorts, as various articles of Hum-Drum’s costume were altered to better suit his new look. Spike made sure to keep some of the panels unaltered, like parts of his outfit being ripped off or tied elsewhere. But instead of using a specialty blackout dye in his Utility Belt to turn all his clothing pitch-black, this version of the hero now had a canister that read ‘Extra Strength Pheromones’ in bold letters. The “dye” was also edited surprisingly well in the preexisting panel, now looking like a semi-clear gel that he applied to his scales and clothing.

The next page was a full panel spread revealing the former Hum-Drum’s new look, which was given a thorough retooling. His shorts weren’t changed too much since they were already skimpy and basically a pair of lycra briefs; of course, Spike made sure to give himself a much fatter ass than in real life, making it even more plump and juicy than it usually was. His shirt was now a skimpy crop-top, with only the top half of the torso remaining after the sleeves and collar were removed. His pudgy, scaley physique was much more well-pronounced, with his curves beautifully drawn and drawing Quibble’s gaze from the page.

A speech-bubble at the top corner of the page read, “Yes… this feels much better~”

The dragon was shown from behind, giving him a confident and immaculately sexy pose as he looked back at the reader with a randy grin. He was pulling his black gloves up to his elbows, matching the heeled black boots that went up to his knees. Instead of the “war-paint” of a couple black marks smeared across his cheeks, Spike was able to alter the art enough to make it look like he was wearing proper makeup. Rosy-red lips, a heavy black mascara, thick curly lashes, and even a black “mole” mark over the corner of his mouth. Of course, Spike made sure the character’s black mask remained over the top half of his face, completing the look of a slutty superhero above the rest of his quotation.

“As of now…” At the bottom of the page, another speech-bubble led towards the large, blocky texts that read out the new hero’s name. “You’re looking at a NEW hero…”

‘CUM-DRUM’

Back in the abandoned castle, Quibble Pants laughed so hard he fell out of his seat. “HAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh my goddess, NO! That is SO bad! HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!” It took him a moment to get back upright, but he still had to wipe his cheeks to keep from tearing up. “Whoo… Oh man… That might actually keep me soft for the rest of this. Thanks, Spike!”

The stallion was smiling more naturally while giving a good look at that page one last time, appreciating just how much work Spike put into the edits to make it look like a proper alteration. Not to mention, Quibble wasn’t afraid to admit that the pudgy little dragon really knew how to make that getup look arousing. Still, he eventually flipped to the next page, with the first couple panels showing the scantily-clad superhero sneaking out of the bathroom. He tiptoed his way down the basement stairs, eventually transitioning to darkness that only showed his eyes in the panels. The comic made sure to still give a sinister vibe to the villain’s lair, with the shop basement being full of broken reptile cages and mouse-bones everywhere. It almost looked like a labyrinth of shattered glass and feed-bags, with a couple toxic waste barrels just barely visible in the background. Fortunately, the dragon wasn’t too worried about that as he eventually made his way to a back room, which had a partial glass door like the entrance to a doctor’s office. The frosted glass had some frayed lettering that struggled to stay in place, reading the name of the shop’s former owner: Doctor Monitor - PHD Herpetology.

“Huh…” Cum-Drum tilted his head as he took a second to read the door. “Herpetology, huh? I’m surprised it’s not a PHD in Radiology.”

Outside the comic, Quibble Pants shrugged his head in semi-agreement. “Ehhh… Herpetology is the study of reptiles and lizards, so it kinda makes sense…”

Cum-Drum shrugged with a roll of his eyes in the next panel, not caring much about this villain’s educational credentials. Instead, the dragon closed his eyes with a deep breath, preparing himself before he lunged forward. He grabbed hold of the doorknob, and flung the door open so it swung into the next panel with a loud and boldly-fonted ‘POW!’ The interior of the office was now shown on the page, looking like something more for an old-fashioned noir-detective than a “Doctor.” The office had an old wooden desk in the middle, with an open bottle of whiskey and a half-empty glass next to an ashtray full of cigar butts. Behind the desk, an open issue of the ‘Maretropolis Gazette’ was tossed up in the air from that sudden door-throw, alongside a startled yelp from the being reading it. “GAH!!”

The newspaper was tossed aside from that jolt, revealing a pair of blood-red eyes behind the blanket of darkness that still encompassed much of the background. This panel took up over half the page, with Cum-Drm’s backside taking up much of the foreground to show off his fat and perky butt upclose. The hero was facing the figure shrouded in darkness behind the desk, with its eyes scarily close to the ceiling to emphasize his scale and height. A close-up of Cum-Drum’s face showed his eyes narrowing behind his mask in determination, as well as a sly grin with his tongue sticking out slightly. Two panels near the bottom corner of the page showed Big-Scale’s eyes in two shots; the first were his eyes widened in surprise, before the next panel had them narrow on Cum-Drum with deathly disdain.

“Hmmmmmm…” The next shot gave a new angle of the office, with the shadow of Big-Scale on the left side while Cum-Drum was on the right. Since both figures were being shown from their sides, Quibble could see the blatant tent sticking out of Cum-Drum’s shorts while he faced his foe so confidently. It wasn’t obvious whether or not Big-Scale could see that erection, since his speech-bubble still had that sinister red text to match his tone. “You… You’re that kid with the precious… Power Ponies… AREN’T YOU?”

Cum-Drum kept his smirk, but gave a strong shake of his head in response. “Uh-Uh! I’m not a ‘Kid’ by any means, Big-Scale…” A smaller panel showed one of his claws reaching down to his utility belt, which was originally meant to play a tape-recording of some background music while ‘Hum-Drum’ gave an overzealous hero-speech for his first solo fight. Granted, in the version of the story Quibble Pants previously read, that speech was alongside another full-page pose of Hum-Drum in his “badass” outfit. The monologue as a whole honestly wasn’t bad, but a big gag was the fact that Hum-Drum only got halfway through his speech before Big-Scale’s claw gripped his throat in the very next panel.

Quibble had no idea what to expect this time around, but he took a breath before reluctantly turning to the next page. “Hoo boy, here we go…”

Much like he expected, Quibble Pants immediately looked away the instant he saw how Spike retooled Hum-Drum’s “Heroic” page-spread for his own perverted use. “OH! Sweet Celestia…”

He almost forgot how in the original comic, there was a small panel at the top-left corner that showed Big-Scale’s eyes in a closeup with one of his brows skewed in amusement. This time though, Spike made BOTH brows were raised so his expression appeared more of shock, and also added some heavy blush underneath to imply his cheeks burnt up from the new sight and dialogue.

“I’m no longer ‘Hum-Drum,’ you big scaley stud… The new name’s ‘Cum-Drum~’”

To Spike’s artistic credit, he really didn’t need to make any huge edits in regards to Hum-Drum’s pose in that page-spread. Since the angle was closer to the hero’s feet and looking upward, it was easy enough to make it work with ‘Cum-Drum’s’ customized outfit. However, it seemed that Spike took advantage of that previous panel of the Utility Belt being pressed, and now made it look like he was undoing his shorts. Still standing with his claws at the sides of his hips, Cum-Drum was standing with a hungry grin while his shorts hugged around his knees, and his little cock stood out in all its four-inch glory with a bead of precum seeping from the pointed tip. There were even a couple movement lines around the appendage, implying it was twitching from how hard he was before the stunned villain.

Beside Cum-Drum’s triumphant pose, his speech took up the entire right side of the page lengthwise. “And unlike my ‘Gal-Pals’ back home, I’m not here to play nice! You’re looking at a new, ready, and legally adult hero who has a different means of dealing with brutes like you~

“So before I get really horny, I’m going to ask you one simple question: Do you really want to try and fight me like all those other mares? Or would you rather bend me over and put all that anger towards something more fun?~”

“Damn…” Quibble Pants’ head tilted the other direction, his eyes narrowed on the page with an impressed pout and a matching nod. Upon closer inspection, he was able to see that Spike made sure to preserve as much of the original dialogue as he possibly could. He also had to cross his legs with a brief squirm, blushing in realization as he bit his bottom lip. “Mmmfff, dammit…”

Even though he didn’t consider reading porn to be cheating (and fortunately, neither did his girlfriend), he made sure to keep both hooves on the comic book and away from his stirring nethers. There was a panel at the bottom of the spread giving a line of dialogue from Big-Scale, which was originally a red-fronted growl before he grabbed Hum-Drum's neck. Of course, Spike managed to edit the speech bubble to a professional degree, giving a more feeble font to show the villain’s puzzlement.

“ … Ummmm… Really?”

Instead of a claw reaching out to grab Hum-Drum, the panel had been altered so the villain's head loomed in through his sinister shadow. It was honestly a choice edit on Spike’s end, since the shadow-effect made it one of the quicker panels to change by just filling in half of it in black. In addition, Cum-Drum no longer had a startled look of wide-eyed panic on his face from a draconic claw lunging for his throat; he was now grinning all smug, even as that shadowy presence loomed in so close to his half-lidded eyes.

In the next panel, Hum-Drum (or ‘Drummer’ if you’re one of those comic purists) unlatched something else from his Utility Belt, which dropped a smoke-bomb to the desk between himself and Big-Scale. Of course, in the original storyline, it was followed by Big-Scale’s monstrous claw coming down and smashing the device in his fist like it was made of eggshells. But in this version of the comic, that item had been replaced with a… legal ID of Hum-Drum’s legal age?

“Ugh! Okay, I get it!” Quibble Pants rolled his eyes with a scoff, even though he could appreciate the amount of detail Spike put in making an accurate-looking Maretropolis ID for a single panel. “Hmmm… Well, I guess it’s better than no clarifications at all…”

The next panel now had the angle of Big-Scale’s claw appear less as a smash, and more like him swiping the card from his desk. There was another small panel of Big-Scale’s narrowed eyes once more, but now they were pointed to the back of a card that Spike included in the foreground. Quibble was impressed how it now looked like the villain was checking Cum-Drum’s identification, and more specifically his age. “Hmmmm… Happy Birthday, I guess…”

“Thank you!” chirped Cum-Drum with a wide and innocent-looking smile, even though his little penis was still sticking out like he was thumbing for a ride. Instead of a thought-bubble showing Hum-Drum’s internal realization that he was in trouble, it had been converted to a regular speech-bubble so Cum-Drum could speak directly. “And if you don’t mind me saying, I would totally be down with you calling your henchmen right now~”

Despite how differently Spike altered the scene for his benefit, there were absolutely no edits needed for the panel at the bottom of that page. It still showed a long, page-wide spread of his fanged and scaley muzzle widening to a sinister grin, and his tongue sticking out with a sicklylick of his lips. “Oooohhhh… Such a lovely gift that the Power Ponies delivered for me and my friends…”

The top panel of the next page originally had Hum-Drum giving one last horrified look before being yanked off-page by Big-Scale’s claw. But instead, it had Cum-Drum’s smiling face as he added another speech-bubble. “Oh, totally! Give it to me hard~”

Quibble Pants needed to look away from the comic for a moment, now partially unsheathed with his muzzle skewed hard. “Hmmmmm… Does this show what happens next?” Despite his blushed wince, the stallion exhaled before flipping to the next page, which left his eyes wide and unblinking. “... Oh, okay then!~”