Iron, Wine, and American Mouths

"You wanna learn magic from me?"
Thwack. Tumble tumble.
"Eeyup."

Thunk. Rumble rumble. I grabbed my basket of apples and loaded it up onto the wagon.
He weren't far behind.

Was a real nice sunny spring morning. I looked over in the distance to see the patch of trees that were fixin' to bear zap apples. Granny, AJ, and Apple Bloom were all keeping an eye on them, though the youngin seemed a mite impatient.
Not that I blamed her, they sounded delicious, especially if it warranted Granny waking everyone up with the pots n pans.

"N' I don't suppose this has to do with your plan to become an alicorn?" I turned to him as he loaded up his own basket.
"Nnope," he playfully bapped my shoulder as we walked back to the trees with some empty baskets. "Celestia knows I wouldn't make a good princess anyhow."
"Yeah, wouldn't roll off the tongue right, Princess Macintosh.." I nodded sagely.
"G-D-Ah! Uhm! Prince, Prince. I wouldn't make a good prince." He corrected himself real fast.
"Too much fanciness and decorum involved?" I grinned at him. He seemed real relieved that I didn't pry about the slip of his tongue.
"Eeyup." He sheepishly grinned back.
"Yeah, I couldn't stand them uptight folks neither. I'd probably burn the first whiny sumbitch to a little pile of snooty ashes. How's that for a tax cut, huh?"

Mac and I chuckled.
"So, magic."
"Eeyup."
"Reckon it's gotta do with them fae being after my ass."
"Eeyup."
"Something else to it, I think."
"...Eeyup."
"Is it the fact that AJ and her friends are some big damn heroes?"
"Ee....eyup. Don't forget yourself."
I snorted. "If you wanna classify me as one, I won't stop you. But you know me, Mac."
"Eeyup. And I still love you. You ain't the big bad of the fae no more. You're Bonfire. An' here, you been nothin but a hero. My hero."

God dammit, this stallion gets my heart goin! Couldn't help but nuzzle and kiss his goofy ass.

"Tell you what. If you're still feeling up to it tonight, I'll start with the basics. Learning to find your magic and redirect it. Sound good?"
"Eeyup."

He at least already understood the straight fundamentals of usin' your body for magic, as opposed to horns or wings, givin' his life of kickin' that magic into the trees.

So step one was easy. Just a matter of finding the places in his body that brought out his magic the most, with a ritual that let him see the flow of ichor or whatever y'might call it. I at least remembered that one without my spellbook. Naturally, the majority of his magic flowed into his four legs. Step two was the hard part, and that was finding the magic that Mac worked best with. His affinity, for a lack of better word. So, naturally, we started to experiment with what he might like best, together.

Get your mind outta the gutter.

Initially, he didn't have many ideas, shying away from the blunter magics like floramancy or terramancy. He already kinda knew those, in a way, and he wanted to try something new.

Thought of the more out-there magics I encountered on my travels.

"Slime."
"Nope."
"Light."
"Nope."
"Bugs?"
He snorted. "Nope!"
"Fire?"
He chuckled. "Nnope. That's your thing."
"Water?"
"Nnnnmmmaybe."

Two minutes later we was down by the creek that ran through the farm. Mac tried his damnedest to work the water, while trying to stay out of it, but it weren't quite his deal. What's worse, every time I tried to give him advice, the wind would pick up weirdly hard, and I'd have to wait till it was done to say anything.

Eventually, he furrowed his brow real hard, and started gesturing like he were molding clay, and a small ball of water came up outta the creek. He beamed, shouted, "Eeyup!" before another gust of wind knocked the water out of formation back in the crick. "Ggrraagh, nope..!" He stomped his hoof, and a real mighty gust of wind hit me on the right side and sent me rolling into a tree.

Ow.
I rolled over and saw that the bark cut me open a bit. I groaned, sat up, and once Mac saw my bleedin', he pushed me in the direction of the house to break out the gauze and take a break.

"..How bout healing magic?" He said, lookin over my wounds.
"..I mean.. There is, technically, healing magic, but you can only go so far into that practice before you ended up at necromancy as the next logical step."
"Eugh. Nope."
"Thought not."

He huffed a sigh, and the wind started pickin' up again. Real strong winds, at that.
"Maybe we best move this inside a bit faster." I suggested.
"Eeyup."

Next on the docket was illusions. Technically a subsection of light magic, but it involved activating other senses. Smell, touch, taste.
I weren't the best with illusions, but I did my best to explain the gist. He concentrated on the absolute basics, trying to turn an apple from red to green.

Then, a window blew open, and the wind came in hard, knocking the damn thing off the table.
"Nope."
"Man, what the hell," I grumbled, fetching the apple from the floor.
Bit bruised. Probably still edible. Took a bite out of it as I went to the window to close it.

"Funny, every time we tried somethin, the wind picks up, n' we gotta wait till it dies down."
"Augh, duh!" I slapped a hoof to my head. "Wind magic!"
"That's a thing?" Mac asked me.
"Sure is."
He got all quiet and thoughtful like.
Then he focused his magic on the wind outside, and wouldn't ya know it, the window burst right back open, blastin' me with the crisp spring air. I closed it again, n shook my mane vaguely back into place.

"Well, yup, that'd do it." I mumbled, took another bite of my apple.
"...Would I.. nope.."
I tilted my head at him. "Yeah?"
"..Would I be.. able to.. fly?"
I stopped to think on it, before a little grin spread cross my face. "Y'know.. with enough practice, I reckon you could!"

Applejack came strollin' into the room, sipping on some juice and lookin' back n forth between the two of us. "Y'all're about to try something dumb, ain'tcha." She deadpanned.
"No." I lied.
"Eee..yup." He didn't.

Apple Bloom n her friends stretched the netting underneath us. Where she got it, I had no damn clue. To test it, they jumped around it like a trampoline. It didn't come apart, so it seemed good. "All good, Big Mac! Whenever you're ready!" the youngin called up. Mac n me, we was up on a cliff overlookin' the net, maybe some forty, fifty feet? His legs were a bit shaky, this was definitely not the kind of thing he did typically. I stuck next to him, to help settle his nerves. It definitely helped whenever I gave him some affection.
"Want me to go first?" I offered. "Show you that'll catch you just fine?"
"Nnope!" He snorted. "No."
"Suit yourself, Mac. 'S on you to make that jump though."

It took a bit. You could practically hear the prolonged drumroll as Mac sidled up to the edge of the cliff. He grit his teeth and leapt from the cliff, before he kicked his legs round, "Nope nope nope nope NOPE..!" I heard a gust of wind come up from the ground below me, and, well I reckon he over shot the amount of wind needed to slow his fall, and he came right back up the cliff and landed next to me, flat on his face.

"You good, hon?"
"..yup." he croaked.

I moved over to him and inspected his face, moving him away from the cliff. Few bruises here n' there. "Y'sure?"
"..Nope."
"Maybe we oughta try something more your speed until you get the hang of this."
"Eeyup."

Ended up askin' Twi for help, I weren't no teacher. When she discovered that Mac had an affinity for wind magic and wished to use it proper, she was all in. Penciled in a bit o' class time whenever we could squeeze it into the farm's schedule. From there, we started small, focusin' on gettin' small objects like paper or or mugs to stay in the air. Took a lotta concentration on Mac's part, n' sometimes he'd go on for a real long time, while Twi n' me just chatted.

"Soooo... you and Big Mac, huh?" She said, looking away from his practice.
"Eeyup." I answered on his behalf.
"I knew you had a crush on him."
"I- god, shush, you." I jabbed at her playfully.
"I may not be the Princess of Love, but I-"
"The Who the What now? I thought there was only two princesses. Sun and Moon ladies."
"Oh, no, there's a third." She sheepishly waved off this fact casually. "She used to be my foalsitter."
"No kiddin'!"
"Yeahh, I haven't seen her in a while, though, not since I moved to Ponyville.. I should write!"
"I reckon you should."

"Okay, quit dodging, how'd that come about?"
"Well, spend every evening on a porch sharin' a drink and watchin' the sunset for a good few months, it was kind of inevitable. A steady boil kinda deal."
"Slow burn."
"Huh?"
"The trope you're thinking of is called a 'slow burn'."
"Nerd!"

I never thought I'd know the despair of not being able to eat something, but as it turns out, life has surprises around every corner.

I'm allergic to Zap Apples.
Regular apples are fine, but something in my magical regulatory system just couldn't mesh with the zap. When I first ate one, my body reacted like I'd eaten poison, swelling up my throat and makin' my magic go haywire. They had to get me to the hospital real quick, but they managed to get the swelling down pretty soon after that. So I'm alive, at least.

But god dammit. That beautiful rainbow jam. I'd never get to taste it again. It was weird and I'd never understand how that worked.
Actually, there were a lotta things about the zap apples I'd never understand. I had no idea how lightning made apple trees blossom like that. Hell, I saw the rainbows flying around, and I still was at a loss for words.

Found myself musin' on that while we waited on AJ to come back from the Canterlot rodeo. Prize money was involved, and we all know the siren's call of money. Pinkie done set up a party to celebrate her return, and some cousins from up round the bend done showed up too. I cooly sipped on some pop while waitin', and we all had a generally mellow time of it.

Only for AJ to not come home. Bubbles, the mailmare, had a telegram for us.
"Family and friends: Not coming back to Ponyville. Don't worry, will send money soon." Twilight read aloud. "..That's all there is.."

The others broke into a commotion, but I stayed quiet.
Something felt wrong about this. I furrowed my brow and looked out the window. Then I looked back to my family. I sidled up to some of the cousins and asked a favor of em.

"Mac n' I are gonna join the girls to get AJ back."
"Eeyup?" He was definitely shocked that he was comin' along.
"But what about the farm?" Apple Bloom cried out. I walked over and gave her a hug, real gentle like.
"I already thought 'bout that, Bloom, don' worry. Cousins Honeycrisp n' Goldie are willin' to stick around n' help until we's back."
"O-okay.." Apple Bloom quietly said, grippin onto me like this was the last time she'd see any of us. Mac joined in on the hug, and so did Granny.

If someone was threatenin' my family, they weren't gonna be a happy camper. I'd see to that.

We arrived at Dodge Junction a few days after that. Spent a while askin' round Canterlot, only one lead pointed us in that direction. And thank the stars, the second we arrived, Pinkie ran to an outhouse and who else emerged but AJ.

She was tighter lipped than a mute Eunich in a whorehouse. Eventually, Twilight n' the girls followed her to some cherry farm at one side o' town, askin' me n Mac to find a hotel. Didn't take too long, the girls spent the day pesterin' AJ until she promised to talk about it in the morning.

The morning, which was now a good six hours away. And I was still awake.

That goddamn letter. It kept me up. I didn't like it, not one bit. I couldn't fuckin' sleep. In fact, I reckon this was the first time in a while I had a case of stress induced insomnia. Funny how a safe place to call home'll change ya like that. I paced around my room in the hotel, tryin' not to wake Mac up.

"Bonnie?"
Fuck. So much for that. I sighed. "Can't sleep, Mac. Tryin' to work off the jitters." I grumbled.
"Talk to me." He sat up in bed and gestured me over, and I flopped into his hug.
I snorted. "I.. I dunno, Mac. The writin' in her letter was so.. courteous. Curt. Short. Nothin' like her."
"Eeyup."
"I reckon somethin's wrong."
"Mm."
"I can't just sit still n' wait, I wanna figure this out now..!" I growled, momentarily flickin' a flame in my hoof before Mac clasped his own over it.
"I think you need to clear your head." He said, softly. "Maybe yer right. But losin' sleep over this ain't gonna help you none. I seen you drink coffee, you don't handle it well."

Had me there.
"Hear me out. Go out on a short walk, don't think about this at all, look up at the stars, then come back in."
"Alright." I nuzzled him. "I'll be right back."
"Eeyup. Loveya."

I stepped out into the crisp desert night, took a deep breath, and wandered about town. The night was as beautiful n' peaceful as ever, though I couldn't rightly appreciate it with the thoughts swimmin' round in my head. It was times like this I wished I could attain the divine state of no thoughts, head empty.

I heard some rhythmic crunchin' behind me. But then something caught my attention about it. It wasn't a crunch-crunch, crunch-crunch, but a crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Slower. Less rhythmic. Like whoever was doin' it was on.. two legs.
My head jerked to look behind me.

A human was sneaking around late at night in deep black n' blue camo. And he just saw me. And I saw him. I tackled his ass before he had a chance to react. We tumbled into the side of a buildin' and I held him in my hooves. We stared at each other. Shit. Do I kill this guy..?

"Are you... the Highwayman?" he quietly asked.
I kept schtum, didn't say nothin', but I flicked my hoof and lit it up.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, please!" He whispered in a panic, "Hear me out, the others want you dead, not me!"
I squinted at him.
"Listen, sir, please, I.. I don't mean trouble. Just.. hear me out? I promise I'm the only one in town right now. The others are back at camp. The Government wants you dead!"
"Tell me something new, boy." I snorted.

"...Okay. Ever since you left the war, the US army doesn't have a face to hate anymore. The propaganda machine has been running amok trying to find a new way to motivate us soldiers. Rumors about you going AWOL and surviving the aftermath traveled fast, so morale is at an all time low, on both sides!"
I slowly cocked my eyebrow.
"A-and, the government wants to make you a patsy. If they kill you, that's a new narrative they can spin. To try and take the morale back and gain the upper hand. A-and also send a message to potential.. deserters."
Damn.

"So how'd ya recognize me?" I asked.
"All the rumors said that you had some apple butt tattoo, and I was given orders to keep watch on the Apple pony at the rodeo in another town, seemed like she was the one.. but.. now that I know.. who you are.."

He got this distant look in his eyes, gazin' up.
"But what, boy?! Speak!!" I growled.
"But, uh, Th-they're planning on grabbing that, Apple pony, tomorrow."
Oh hell no! I growled and held my hoof up with a lotta fire now.
"WAIT! Wait! I don't wanna kidnap her! I don't want any part of this!"
I lowered my hoof. "What y'all meaning?"
"I-I-I don't wanna go back! Please! I want out. You got out! You're alive! And I want out so bad, this place is so beautiful, the stars.." he legit started sniffling, "I haven't seen so many stars in my life, not since they all blinked out during the Rapture!"
That hit a tender spot for me. "You poor sunofabitch.." I sighed. "Tell ya what. You help me bring down the rest of your crew, my buddy is in good with the Princess of these lands. We can work out a plea deal if you help me."
"I... I have to betray my crew?"
"Do they like you?"

He slumped. "Well,"
His walkie talkie went off.
"McGill, do you read me?"
I kept quiet and nodded at him. He grabbed his radio and spoke into it. "I read you."
"Status report, how copy? Your last ETA was five minutes ago."
"Complications arose, sir. Had to sit tight to avoid contact with civilians."
"... Civilians? They're horses, McGill."
"They're wearing clothes and talking, sarge, I-"
"I don't give a rats ass if they walk up and give you a kiss and some condoms, they're horses. Have you gotten any Intel on target Highwayman?"
His eyes darted to me. "..No sir. No sign of him."

Sweet Baby Jesus. I relaxed a bit.
"...Fine. Rendezvous to LZ. If you're not back within the hour, we're marking you off as either dead, or AWOL, depending on how we're feeling. So get moving. We move to procure the primary target at 0800 hours."
"Copy that, sarge."

He clipped his radio back into his shoulder holster. He kept quiet for a bit.
Then, he looked up, right at the stars. Found his conviction. "Okay. Deal."

"HHHRGHK--! Phtoo!" I spat into my hoof then held it out. "Shake on it."
Most folks don't know that spit is technically filtered blood. When you shake on spit like that, it's a small ritual. And if you go against your word, well, the magic backfires. He steeled himself, spat in his hand, wrapped it round my hoof.
"Name's Jerry. Jerry McGill."
"You can call me Bonfire." I shook his hand.

"..That is such a cool name..." He whispered. He looked back at his radio, then back to me.
"So what's the plan?" he asked.
"You do as much sabotage as you can without gittin' caught. Mess with their guns. Comms. Anythin' that puts em a step behind. Now git. I gotta find me some backup."

"Guess I better get going." He started to crawl out from under me, I stepped away, and he stood up. "You really mean it? About finding a way to get me outta this?"
"That shake had magic behind it, Jerry. If I don't keep my word, the karma'll backfire on my ass. You best keep yours, too."

He saluted me and ran off into the desert night.
An insider. Yeehaaw. I needed a plan..

I looked to the sheriff's office..
"Let's hope he don't mind night calls.." I muttered.

I didn't get much sleep. Mac was already snoozing by the time I crept back into our motel room.
Felt like I laid back, closed my eyes, and then next thing I knew, the rooster was crowing.
Dammit.

I heard a kerfuffle outside.
"APPLEJAAAAACK! YOOOUU PINKIE PROMISED!!!" Pinkie Pie roared in pure rage like I ain't ever heard from a pony.
Shit! I jumped outta bed, Mac was catching up with the girls outside, and I shouted out, "AJ! WAIT, DAMMIT!"

Mac yanked his head back, and the wind blew afoul of AJ's course, knocking her and her saddlebags over.

The girls surrounded her, and I saw a buncha medals all over the ground. Not one of them was first place.
"Girls, hang on -" I tried to get a word in, but they was having one of their friendship moments. I heard the clock tower chime eight times.

"God dammit, this is important!" I shouted.
"What could be more important than finding out why our friend is upset?!" Rarity chastised me.
"She's in danger!" I screamed, before the sound of tires screechin' ripped through the town. Bullets ripped out the windows, into other windows. We was smack dab in the middle of the street, as a humvee rolled up into the middle of town. Masked boot boys popped out, firin' guns willy nilly to make everypony duck n' run, including me!
They hurried up, grabbed AJ real quick, and dove back in with her! Goddamn car sped off with my sister!

I popped my head out and grimaced. Town was riddled with bullets now, I heard a few groaning from injuries, including..
Rainbow Dash had been hit! She was breathin, but she'd been shot in the leg. Sons of bitches was gonna pay!!

"We gotta move. They took AJ." I said, running up to Twilight.
"Rainbow Dash is injured!" Twilight said, looking real stressed.
"I can provide first aid. Rarity can help me dress wounds. Do any of you have any medical training?" Fluttershy said with uncharacteristic conviction. Silence followed. I weren't that good with first aid, no.. "I thought not. You four go get Applejack. Especially you, Bonfire. You know these monsters best."
Yeah, cuz I was one..

We found ourselves a perfectly good wagon, 'cept me n' Mac was too big for the harnesses.
We climbed in anyhow, throwing the harnesses aside.

"Alright! Here's the plan! Mac, you gather air into a bubble and keep it pressurized, but leave a hole leadin' away from us."
"Eeyup!"
"Twi, use your magic to keep the wagon steady."
"On it!"
"Pinkie.. you do your whole.. thing."
"Aye aye, Captain!"

"Pressures... ready!" Mac said, struggling.
I lit a fire right in that air bubble. We were off like a rocket, and Twilight yelped, struggling to keep us upright for the first few moments.
"YEEEEEHAAAAAAA!" I screamed as we soared through the open desert. I looked back and saw a crowd gatherin' on the horizon.

They'd follow our tracks just fine.

We kept barrelling down the desert, Pinkie guiding Twilight on what the humvee's tire tracks looked like. Mac n I held on tight to the rear side of the wagon, and then I saw them bastards on the horizon.

One of them soldier boys leaned out the window and trained their gun on us!
"I got enough firepower to keep us rollin'! Throw their aim off course!" I shouted to Mac.
"EEYUP!" he shouted and, well, done nearly spun the whole damn car out with the sheer power of his wind. The rifle fell outta the fella's hands, kicked and tumbled down the earth, far past us.

The car picked up speed, roaring further off, before turning into some valley with cliffs on either side, ending in a cul de sac shaped gulley, where this massive Stargate looking thing was standing. I shut off my fire, feelin' right exhausted.
"Alright.." I puffed. "You prioritize saving AJ, aight? Teleport her outta there."
"But what about you?" Twi asked me. "You can barely stand! You over exerted yourself!"
"I got this. I have a plan. Keep your friends safe."
"Do you think you don't count?!" Twilight growled at me.
"Later! Okay? Later." I hissed.
She hugged me. Then Mac n' Pinkie did too.
"Augh, dammit, y'all... I promise. I have a plan. But I gotta be the bait."
Nopony was real happy with that. "I'm covering you if things go south." Mac said.
"You got it." I nodded to him.

I entered the valley, only to hear AJ struggling.
"Lemme go! Y'all got no idea what y'all're in for!!"

They had her forelegs cuffed, and her hind legs bound. She struggled, but, unfortunately, the Ol' meme saying of "you can't break those cuffs" held true.

"Sure, we do." The Sarge growled at AJ. "We're about to get the paycheck of our lives. So you either fess up, and tell us who you are, or fess up and tell us who the Highwayman is."
The man pulled the slide on his gun back.

Then he jostled it a bit, cuz it was jammed. It finally slid into place after some fiddling, which gave me time to appear.

"You dumbasses got the wrong pony. It's me y'want." I said loudly, steppin' forward.
AJ looked at me, shocked. "Bonfire...?"
"... YOU'RE the HIGHWAYMAN?" The leader barked in laughter, "Oh, my god, that's fucking rich! I thought that poacher was crazy, talking about how the Highwayman was a little horse! Hahahaha! Oh, this is great!" His head suddenly snapped up with his gun, trainin' it right on AJ. "We're under orders to bring you in, dead or alive. Now come here, horsie. I got a treat." The sarge growled to me. I moved slowly, deliberately. Soon I was in their range.
But they was in mine.

A buck ton of soldiers popped up on the cliffs either side of the valley, clicking off the safeties in nigh perfect unison.

"You let the others go, and I'll come with y'all peacefully." I offered.
"No dice. They're witnesses. Ready!" The rest readied their guns. Mac n the girls gasped. Twilight's horn lit up. Mac gathered his power behind me.
"Knew you'd fuckin say that.. Sheriff!!" I shouted.

Explosions sounded off in the distance. Cannonballs, so many goddamn cannonballs, rained over me, started bombing the place. Everyone dove for cover. I tried to make a run for AJ, but the Sarge trained his gun on me, forcin' me to duck behind a rock.

The goddamn ground started quakin'. Everyone looked out into the distance, and the whole damn town rumbled into view, rolling in cannons along with em.

"GIVE THEM YELLA BELLIED COWARDS THE WHOLE KIT N' KIBOODLE!" The sheriff bellowed.
The townsfolk was outgunned. I knew that. But the element of surprise got them good. They had time.

"Y'think i didn't have a plan, boot boy?!" I shouted at the Sarge. Less guns was trained on me. I could feel them cold gazes pull away as they all done runned for cover. "I told them folks about your plan to snag my sister, was just a matter of them trailing me until y'all made yourselves wide open!"
"Clever." The sarge growled from his cover. "But we're holding you and your friend hostage. You can't do shit while you're all in range of my men. I have the upper hand."
"No y'don't!" I called out steadily.

He decided to call my bluff, and pulled the trigger on AJ, only for his sidearm to fall apart.
Like, literally, into pieces. He looked dumbfounded.

Flash.
AJ was out of his position. Twilight teleported her out to a safer distance.
"Fuck! COMMAND, THIS IS FOXTROT-FIVE-SILO, WE NEED BACKUP, THE HORSES CAN TELEPORT, I REPEAT, THE HORSES CAN TELEPORT!" the leader of the squad shouted into his radio, only to get nothing in response. He looked back to the Stargate, saw that some doohickey on it was smashed, 'fore a hail of bullets rained down on the bastard. He went down fast, and I looked up to see Jerry shakily aimin' his rifle at his dead commander. No one else noticed in the calamity.

"FIRE!" the sheriff roared again, this time closer, canons roared off to my right, the squall hitting the cliff sides where them soldiers was holed up. And also some confetti and decorations, which made for amazingly good.. whatever you call it when you're stunned by a party themed tablecloth covering your head. Apparently Pinkie had a party cannon or something?

I heard guns roarin' above me, before they suddenly went a bit quiet. I peeked my head out to see the guns jammed in various ways, all the boot boys duckin' back behind the rocks to try and fix their rifles on the spot. The only one who was still firin' was Jerry, n' it weren't at anypony, that's for sure.

I took the chance to run back to the rest of the group, where Twilight had a shield up to protect from bullets, though she were right confused at the lack of em.

I was about halfway there when one of the bastards stood up with a goddamn rocket launcher! One of them fancy ones that can fire a shit ton of the bastards at once!

Twilight mighta had a good shield, but them rockets were way too much for her!
I felt the sights train down on me, and I started to move away from the rest of the group, but this sumbitch was a quick draw, and fired real fast!

I had to think quick! Maybe if I blew em up mid air, or-- Dammit, Mac was right, I shoulda gotten some sleep!
"NOPE!" Mac shouted, dove in front of me, and right punched the air, a gust of wind pushing out forwards, turnin' into a goddamn blast of air! The rockets, caught in the wind, flipped right around, and flew into the canyon rocks!

KA-BLAM!

A massive explosion rocked the earth.
Stuff got real quiet for a second there, the town realizing what Mac just did, and the soldiers realizin what Mac just did.

A crumbling, a rumbling, then crashing and smashing, them bombs hitting the cliff sides caused enough damage to cause a rock slide, and the whole damn thing collapsed. We hurried on out of there, trying not to get crushed under the rocks.
The humans fell real fast, some shrieking on the way down. I swear one of them did a perfect Wilhelm.

As the dust settled, them humans was scattered, all groaning in pain. The alive ones, anyhow. I let out a deep breath. Their leader was definitely dead.
Eh.. best make sure. I climbed up on the rocks, and threw a ball of fire under the rock where I last saw him for safety.
The Stargate? Busted. Smithereens.
Praise be.

The survivors was rounded up by the townsfolk.
"Let us go!" one of the humans shrieked.
"Can't. Y'all're witnesses." I said.
"And criminals, in a country without any extradition policies." the Sheriff tacked on. "You might be seein' time in the royal dungeons for good."
They went pale.
"Then kill us!" One of them shouted like a goddamn zealot. "We don't wanna live in a world of namby-pamby goody two shoes ass ponies!!"
The ponies looked real aghast at that. The killing part, not the 'namby-pamby' insult. Death penalty don't exist in Equestria, I guess.

"Speak for yourself." I recognized Jerry's voice, "There's a reason the Highwayman became one of them, and I want in on that!"
"Traitor! I knew you were up to something! You fucking--!! You'll get what's coming to you!!" Another screamed.
I snorted. "I'll tell y'all my reason. I got me some peace n' quiet, for the most part, till y'all or the fae show up trying to ruin my goddamn life!" I stomped my hoof, flames pulsin' out from under it. "This is like, the fifth goddamn time either y'all or them plants put my friends n' family in danger!" Shouted right at em. "Goddamn 'mericans, all of you, don't know when to let go o' somethin' y'all can't have, sick of you fuckin' MONSTERS!" I screamed, fire burnin' in my soul, I was fixin' to show these fuckers why they called me the Flame-
A hoof was on my withers. "Bonfire," was all Mac needed to say to me. I panted, looked to Mac, let out another snort, then turned away with him, n' we walked off while the Sheriff finished up roundin' the invaders.

They kept the humans separated, in case they tried to pull anything. But considerin' they was in a rockfall, only the stupid and conscious ones even tried at all, and then they'd discover how many bones they done broke, and then they'd become unconscious.
Much to everypony's disdain. We didn't bring enough stretchers.

I showed up to the royal hearing a week later, petitioned to speak with Princess Celestia before the trials. Had to ask Twilight for a specific one on one meetin', which let me skip a lotta formalities n' such.

I was led by the royal guard into the castle, ended up in some fancy lookin' tea room, sunlight shining in through frosted glass onto plants, butterflies n' the like. And then I found myself starin' at the sun. Might as well've been, the way she just shined magical power.

"Come in, please, make yourself comfortable." She gestured to a free spot couch she was sittin' on across from a tea table. She was patient while I hopped up.

Goddamn, she was near twice my height.

"Tea?"
"No thank you." I said politely. Knew not to mess with her, she could kick my ass into the next decade.
"Very well. I have heard quite a lot about you, Miss Bonfire. Twilight is very.. verbose about the lessons that you have taught her regarding magic, among other things. I am told you saved her life from a hunter from your world?"
"Yes'm, I did."
"And that you saved a foal from a monster?"
"Mhm."
"And that you were instrumental in preventing more deaths in Dodge Junction?"
"I reckon so, but--"

She hugged me, felt so goddamn warm.
"Thank you, for keeping my ponies safe."
"Weren't nothin', your highness. Last I checked, I'm one of y'all now."

She giggled at that. Then her face turned a touch more serious. "So why have you come to see me today, my little pony? Do you wish for accolades for your part in defending Equestria from insurgency?"

"Oh, uh, no, no, I'd be happy without any medals."
She smiled. "A window in the castle it is."
"Huh?"
She saw my dumbfounded face and laughed. "Oh, don't mind me, just an old mare having some fun. But I know you're here for something more specific than just a reward for your deeds."

"Uh, yeah.." Lost my place, had to gather my thoughts. "Yer highness, I'd like to request that one of the humans, Jerry McGill, work out some kinda plea deal with the crown. Without his help none, everypony involved woulda been injured, or worse. He agreed with me to sabotage his unit's weapons, and cut off communication with his superiors, so long as I helped get him outta the war in the world we both came from. He betrayed his unit and country, just like I betrayed my old masters."
"And, why did you betray them?" She said patiently.

I thought on that answer real good. She sipped her tea.

"'Cause it's two sides of a war where, whoever wins, everyone loses. You either get stuck with mad, egotistical n capricious plants that find human sufferin' endlessly amusin', or you get a government holdin' onto a system of slavery, exploitation, and health insurance, all in the name of a dollar that don't have value no more."

I took a deep breath. I was gettin' worked up just thinkin' about it.

"Folks like me, who was just normal men? We had to pick a side, and I picked the ones that touted the purity of nature, n' then I realized that they weren't nature. Not really. They were puppeteers that used nature as a front."
I swallowed down the lump in my throat.
"N' Jerry? He's the same. He wants to just live his goddamn life, free of all of that bloodshed. This is his chance, and I.. I'd be a right hypocrite if I kept him from takin' it."

She considered it carefully.
"I do believe something can be arranged. But first, I must ask something of you."
"Yes?"
"With this incident, a governmental force has not only invaded this land, but attempted to foalnap one of my ponies, injuring more in the process. This, while not an official declaration of war, was a hostile action between two nations, and I'm afraid that means that now, the crown must act in retaliation, should they try again."

My heart sank. Just when I thought I was out..

"If you do not wish to fight, I don't ask that you do. You are not an enlisted soldier, after all. But I will need information, and that means I need you to tell me everything you know about that world. Will this suffice?"
My ears perked back up. "Y'just want me to ramble 'bout America?"
"As much as you can handle. It need not be entirely within this hour, and I personally don't expect that of you. You can send your reports on your old world to me via Spike's dragon fire. For now, I simply wish to know about the humans in our custody - their hierarchy, what organization they belong to, and why they are here."

I clicked my tongue and nodded. "Reckon I could do that."

When the trial came around, Celestia offered Jerry a lighter sentence on one condition - he serve his sentence as a royal guard, spendin' half his time explaining the anatomy of the guns and humvee to the royal machinists, and once his service period was up, he was free to roam as he pleased.

He took the deal, but he had one real mighty queer request.
"You wouldn't happen to have any magic to make me.. a pony, wouldja?" He nervously grinned.

And thus began the life and times of Undertow the pegasus.