The Adventures of David Lebowski

by AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CH. 4: Year the Second

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Author's Note

Hey guys, sorry about the wait. I got grounded by my parents for a week because of something at school, but I'm back now. Anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter, and see y'all soon.


CH. 4: Year the Second

A month and a half after my first birthday, me and Dennis were discussing what we were gonna do when we had enough motor functions to build things.

"I think I'm gonna invent the radio, or Morse code or something, but building a car would be cool." I said.

"Yeah, though my objective that she gave me is to introduce Equestria to the wonders of human music. She even put every song in my head, the lyrics and the notes on paper." Dennis responded.

"Cool, when I went up there, she actually did give me a mission, but she didn't say what. But I have all of the schematics of a lot of stuff in my head that I don't remember ever learning." I said.

"Huh, neat. What kind of stuff?"

"Stuff like phones, all kinds of them, from Bell to Apple. Also possibly every car in existence, as well as every gun in existence. I think Saturn V is in there somewhere."

"Huh. That's cool. Say, when you can, can you build me a guitar? Not a acoustic, an electric. I've seen so much acoustic guitars, I think that's the only kind of guitar they have."

"Sure, I'll also get you a bass guitar and a set of drums, in exchange for a favor."

"What's the favor?" Dennis questioned.

"That you would do anything I ask you to, no questions asked. Until we're both 18 at least, or 25. Yeah 25." I responded

"Hmmmmm, is there a limit of which you can ask me?"

"Yeah of course, nothing that you physically can't do, and nothing that is slavery."

"Aight, sure. But it's till 21."

"22." I rebutted.

"22 and nothing else." He said.

"Aight, sure. Until we're both 22, you do anything I ask you to in the realm of physical possibility and nothing that's slavery." After that agreement, we both chatted about stuff, like how he hovered for 2 seconds then fell and hit his head on the side of his crib 4 days ago, and how I pranked my parents by hovering myself over their bed at 1 AM the day after that, they were terrified and it was hilarious. After about an hour, his mom came up to take him home, and my mom came in to talk to me about something.


"Hey sweetie pie, hope you had fun with your friend!" I nodded, "I just came to tell you something, since you got teeth now," she squeed when she said that, not sure why, but it was very cute, "Your gonna make a visit to the dentist for the first time! Isn't this exiting?" When I heard the word "dentist", I filled with fear. I'm sure my face showed it too, but baby faces can't do fear like I'm fearing right now that well. Anyways, I cursed myself for forgetting that you have to go to the Demon who Cleans Teeth in the Most Painful Ways Possible. The absolute dread I got after hearing that was unmeasurable. I would rather go to the lowest pits of hell than go to the dentist. But, I knew I had no choice, so I resigned myself to my fate worse than death. While this was happening, she picked me up and spun me around, then put me back in my crib and left to go prepare dinner for the night. All the while, I was still processing this terrible news, and imagining all the unimaginable things that the Job we Do Not Speak Of will do to me. I swear, the things they do should be against the Geneva Convention.


The next day, me and my parents went there, to the dreaded building from hell, it's exterior misleading any unfortunate souls into thinking that it wasn't the literal spawn of Satan. The only thing telling outsiders of it's true purpose, which was to torture children I'm sure of it, was the sign hanging from a hook above the door, which was a tooth. The sign not the door, the door was a normal red door, except the red was the blood from children's mouths after they brutally ripped the tooth from it's socket. As soon as I saw that terrifying sign, I nearly burst out in tears. I only just managed to hold back the waterworks, but some seeped through. When we walked in, the entrance was another piece of misleading architecture, with beige walls with a oval shaped receptionists desk connecting to the wall opposite the entrance, with a mint colored pony sitting there with a teal colored mane. There was also an unassuming brown door of to the right hand side of the desk from the entrance, that was surely the entrance to the torture devices of this building. The receptionist greeted us in the cheery tone of someone who loves their job a bit to much. Psycho.

"Hello and welcome to Bright Smiles Dentists, my name is Minty Tooth and how may we help you today?"

"We put in a appointment for little Button here under the name Cream Heart?" My dad said because my mother was to busy telling me how great it will be.

"Ah, let me see here... yes, here we go. A checkup for Button Mash who just got his baby teeth 3 months ago!?" She gasped after saying that. "So cute! Where is the little angel?" She asked, like the stroller that was more than half of her size just didn't exist. When my parents told her where I was, she rushed over to my crib and took a look at me. There was something off about her smile. I saw not just love for her job, or love of how cute I am (bleugh), but something much more sinister. Like she will enjoy seeing me coming here year after year, and see me fear each and every visit. And she will enjoy it until the day she retires. And then she will remember my terrified face, and laugh to herself from my pain and fear until she dies.

"Awww, so cute! Oh I assure you Mrs. Heart, Mr. Victory, that he will love every visit here!" Lies, all of it. "Now, lets go meet Mr. Smiles. He's the dentist that cute little Button here will be with until he retires." We then walked through the unassuming door to the right that I mentioned earlier, and walked into the main building. As we walked through the hallway, I could only imagine what lay behind the closed doors that line either side of it. I do not like my mind right now. We then walked through a door with frosted glass with the name "Doctor Clean Smiles, Certified Dentist. Ph.D. in Dentistry from Canterlot Medical School." When I saw him, he had an off white coat with a navy blue mane. He wore a white doctors coat and had a tie around his neck that was clipped to his coat, which was buttoned up. As soon as I saw him, I could swear on my life and everything I hold dear that there was a flash of curled horns and that there was fire behind him for a split second. I knew then and there that every single visit here would be absolute hell. I immediately started crying to high heaven and praying to God that he died a horrible, horrible death.


When we got home, I was in shambles emotionally. That dentist has to be Satan himself, because even though he just looked around my mouth with those little mirrors they have, every time he looked into my eyes, he knew that I knew the horrors that will happen in the future that he will cause. He knew that I had already gone through this for 34 years before being born for a second time, and he will relish in it. I knew without a doubt that he feeds on the fear and pain of children that have been placed under him. I knew one thing, and one thing only. I have to warn Dennis and every other baby that I encounter about the horrors that occur at that hell house. It is the only thing I can do, and I will do it with unwavering resolve, because noone should go into that place without being prepared. I will also, when I'm old enough to convince them, beg my parents to never let me go there again. I swear upon The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, that I will protect unknowing infants from the horrors that await them at the dentist, with the best of my ability. Amen.

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