Remain|Release|Remember

Twilight rolled in her bed, sweating in the overly suffocating and hot air. Her usually comfortable weighted blanket was far too warm tonight. Begrudgingly, she kicked it off, exposing her matted wet fur to the thick humid air that filled the room. Her now stinging and sleep deprived eyes opened to a darkened room as she stared blankly at the ceiling. She was sure her normally vibrant purple coat was faded from exhaustion, but she couldn’t tell in the dim light.

It had been three weeks. Three miserable weeks since she’d had a real night’s rest. She rolled out of bed and onto her hooves, briefly stumbling forward as her weight settled. Almost two hundred years since her ascension and she still underestimated her size when she was tired. Steeling herself for another awful twenty four hours, she glared at the traitorous bed. Surely it was at least partially culpable, but if it had simply been the bed, she’d have fixed it already.

She’d written to Celestia, complaining about her lack of sleep two weeks ago. Celestia had simply recommended that Twilight get out and get some exercise, and that insomnia was an occasional risk of being immortal. Celestia had assured Twilight that the bout of insomnia would ultimately be harmless, if unpleasant. She’d managed with minimal sleep for a thousand years, after all. Twilight’s disappointment in her mentor’s unusually callous response had been crushing.

At least Luna had sent some help, in the form of pills. The little dark things were the only reason Twilight was getting any sleep at all. The pills made her fall comatose for an hour or so, leaving her in a death like state. She always awoke with a sweat, feeling as though she had been suffocating in a nightmare she couldn’t remember. Luna had labeled the pills “For Twilight’s use only! Take one every 24 hours at most, NO MORE!!!!”

After a quick chemical test, Twilight was confident the pills were mostly saxitoxin—a particularly lethal, if comfortable, poison. Just half a drop would be plenty enough to kill a normal pony, sending them to an eternal sleep. The pills were packed with far, far more than a drop. Luna’s warnings would not go unheeded.

Like it or not, she was awake and now had a pounding pressure in her head. Now that her hour of death-sleep was over, she had little to do till sunrise. She could write a letter to Spike, but he wouldn’t respond for a few days. He was off on some grand adventure with one of Rarity’s or Sweetie Belle’s great-grand foals. Twilight knew some of her friends’ descendants very well, but was ashamed to say that she didn’t keep up with their whole family lines as closely as Spike had. The dragon had an improbably impeccable memory when it came to ponies. Still, she made an effort to visit each of their family reunions every six years on rotation, and was close friends with about thirty of the current crop of descendants.

It was Fluttershy’s reunion year, and the date was approaching.

Twilight smiled softly, remembering her friend. Fluttershy hadn’t left a traditional family line. She and Discord had adopted a small group of creatures instead of having children, and their descendant's reunions were always a little crazy. Pinkie would be proud of the mad parties they threw.

Blinking, Twilight realized there was one friend she could bother. One who wouldn’t mind the odd hour at all, and might appreciate the unannounced call.

Lifting her heavy hooves, she made her way to the open balcony and stepped out into the night sky, stretching her purple wings into the breeze and taking a deep breath. She posed for a few moments, airing her feathers and allow her sweat to dry under the stars. The warm summer air gently caressed her as she tightly stretched her wings, and the suffocating feeling gradually slipped away as she refocused her mind.

Twilight closed her eyes, smiling as she softly flapped; fanning the air into a small vortex. The light wind quickly did its work, and while she looked a bit mussed, she wasn’t soaking with sweat at least. She was allowed to look disheveled. It was two in the morning, and he wouldn’t mind.

She closed her eyes and spoke quietly. The quieter she was, the more likely he was to hear, after all. “Discord? Do you have a moment?”

She kept her eyes closed and held her breath. It wasn’t likely he’d come. She hadn’t spoken to him in a few years. He was running a theme park last she’d heard, one based on noodles. Supposedly it was doing well. Of course, the less likely he was to show up, the more sure he was to arrive. Discord had always been paradoxical like that. Especially once Fluttershy had passed.

He’d grown more cryptic, but gentler in a way as well. He hadn’t been directly involved in an event that risked Equestria since. Twilight secretly thought it was because he’d been grateful to Equestria as a whole for his time with Fluttershy. She’d never asked.

“While I have nigh on infinite moments, my dear, what makes you think I’d spend them on you?” His disinterested voice came from behind, inside her room.

Twilight smiled, opening her eyes but not turning around. “I just thought you might be up for a chat is all. It’s been a while.”

Discord harrumphed. “Some friendship princess you are. Not that I mind, but I haven’t heard from you in twenty eight thousand three hundred sixty three hours and you call me up because you’re bored and can’t sleep?”

Twilight sighed. Now that he’d said it, it was a little rude of her.

She heard a springy thump as he flopped backwards onto her bed. She could hear his eyes roll as he spoke. “Are you two hundred fifty or fifteen, Princess?”

Twilight paused. Perhaps calling Discord to alleviate her boredom hadn’t been a good idea.

She turned around and forced a weak smile. “There’s no need to add years to me. I’m a little younger than that, Discord…”

He was laying in her bed, on his stomach eating popcorn with his talon and grinning like an idiot while he slowly kicked his mismatched feet back and forth in the air. Twilight felt a brief moment of frustration as she watched him drop one of the popcorn kernels, and realized she’d have to fish that out of the bed later.

Discord raised an eyebrow. “Younger than fifteen? Well I suppose I can forgive an impetuous teenager for her abysmal manners.” He looked her in the eyes as he dumped the rest of the popcorn box onto her bed. “Whoops.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide as they flickered to the greasy pile of popcorn now settling in her fancy weighted blanket. Greasy, hard, salty, crumbling popcorn kernels were now embedded in her bed. It was a tactile nightmare, and not one that would come out easily.

Now she remembered. This was why she hadn’t spoken to him in a while. He’d been oddly aggressive with her the last decade or so, taking every opportunity to antagonize her in the most petty ways.

Still, she’d called him this time, and dirty sheets filled with popcorn were annoying, but nothing more. He was testing her. It was two in the morning, and she was losing her mind; she’d called on Discord after all. Twilight narrowed her eyes as she smiled widely. She must have gone mad, and the thought was oddly freeing.

“You know how old I am, Discord.” She charged up her horn as discretely as possible.

Discord frowned. “I suppose age is just another little box they like to put us in, isn’t it? Still, I don’t know if I should forgive you or not. Is that what a good friend would do?”

Twilight waited until the exact moment when he turned his nose up at her. Discord was oddly predictable in some ways; once again paradoxically so.

She did it silently, without a hint of effort. Any small clue and he’d notice it louder and more clearly than if she’d yelled at him. No clue at all, and he’d miss it. She knew his tricks. Most of them, at least.

Discord opened his eyes to find his head poking out from a small mountain of greasy un-popped popcorn kernels, his body buried along with Twilight’s bed, and most of her room. The pile ended at her hooves, but filled the room entirely.

He glanced down at the small mountain of popcorn kernels, then back up at Twilight in surprise, only able to get out one word. “What?”

Twilight’s smile grew wider, and her horn flashed. “Pop.”

Discord screamed in mock terror, covering his face.

Nothing happened, and Twilight’s horn flashed again. Then again. Slowly, Discord opened his eyes to a now giggling Twilight. He harumphed, grabbing an un-popped kernel and tossing it into his mouth. “I don’t think its nice to play tricks like that on your friends, Twilight.”

Twilight smiled, picking up one of the kernels herself. “I just took some pictures. You looked silly. Would you rather I popped them?”

Discord glared at her before slinking under the popcorn. “Yes I would.”

Twilight fought back a laugh. “Okay.”

The resulting popcorn explosion threw her out the window, and onto the castle courtyard, where she lay on her back shaking. She couldn’t breathe from how hard she was laughing.

Twilight couldn’t stop thinking about his face in that moment, and better yet she’d managed to capture it in a few spells. She’d need to get them onto a crystal to be printed first thing in the morning. It was rare to get one over on Discord, and she’d destroyed her room in the process. Not like she had been using it properly anyways.

Her guards found her still on her back with popcorn stuck in her mane and tail, giggling wildly. It took her almost an hour to convince them that she was mostly mentally stable. It took the rest of the morning to get her room cleaned, and Discord had been nowhere to be found, except for a greasy draconequus shaped silhouette on her wall.

The next day, she printed the pictures she’d taken, and sent a few copies to his office at “Noodles of Oodles”. She always kept her favorite pictures up on the wall in her room, and now Discord buried in popcorn kernels was next to some of the older pictures of her friends. She’d made sure to put Discord next to Fluttershy. They’d both appreciate the little gesture.

Court seemed easier, and her day went mostly painlessly. Even as she stood in front of her bed, dreading her coming death-sleep, she felt lighter in a way. Maybe she’d see if he’d come around more often? Twilight swallowed a pill, laid down, and blacked out with a smile.

Twilight woke up screaming. She couldn’t remember why. It hurt. She was scared. No, it wasn’t real. It wasn’t… anything. Her usually comforting blanket was suffocating her, and she rolled out from under it, falling onto the floor of her room and landing on her side. She wildly scrambled to get to her hooves, unable to find purchase in a body much too large to be hers. Sweat dripped from her, and her eyes were heavy with tears.

She gulped a few sobbing breaths as she looked around, confused by what she saw. The bed was huge, the walls weren’t her comfortable oak; no, it was supposed to be crystal. Instead it looked almost like Celestia’s room, but wrong somehow. Where was she, where was Spike? She almost called to him before the memories came back.

She was older. She was a princess. She didn’t live in Golden Oaks Library, or even Friendship Castle. She lived in Canterlot, in the Royal Suite. Celestia and Luna had retired, long ago, and it was just her. No Spike. Not even her friends.

Twilight steadied a hoof as she focused on it. No, she had friends. She’d made hundreds and hundreds of friends, and each one was special. It’s just that many had passed on. Also, many couldn’t be bothered right then. Not that they’d complain, she was a princess, but it wouldn’t be right. Perhaps Luna could be called?

Twilight sucked in a breath. No, she could do this. She was fine. It was just a nightmare. And not even one she could remember. She didn’t need to bother anypony. The now familiar pressure of being awake returned, making her mind feel like an overripe fruit. Slowly, she pulled herself up onto all four hooves. The room felt dark, even with the balcony window open. How long had it been since she’d slept proper? She frowned. Celestia was sure there would be no problem from the lack of sleep, but Twilight wasn’t as confident. She felt her own misery was more than enough of a problem, but had hesitated to bring it up.

Twilight glanced at the photos of her friends, finding comfort in their faces, when her eyes fell on Discord covered in popcorn. It had been five days. Perhaps he’d forgiven her.

Without thinking about it, she mumbled over her bed, staring weakly at the photo as she trembled slightly from her nightmare. “Discord, do you have a moment?”

She hadn’t even realized she’d said it before an amused voice slipped from the photo.

“I daresay I have an abundance.” The Discord in the photo stuffed a handful of popcorn kernels into his mouth, chewing on them loudly.

Twilight glanced nervously around the room. “Would you mind spending some for a… chat with me?”

Discord hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I’m not sure. Are you going to cover me in popcorn again?”

Twilight shook her head. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

He snapped his finger, frowning. “If that’s how it is, then I just might have more important things to spend my moments on.”

Twilight cracked an amused smile at his visible disappointment. “Maybe we can see where the night goes? Some things are better left unplanned, right?”

A claw tapped her on the shoulder, and the Discord in the picture dove under the popcorn.

“You are a sweet talker, aren’t you? Well, perhaps I can spare some time. But you’ll owe me some of yours. What do you say? Ready to make a deal with a devil?”

Twilight pretended to mull it over. “Sounds risky. What if you ask me to do something illegal? I’m the ruling princess of Equestria, you know. I wouldn’t be punished for helping you with one of your maelstroms of mayhem.”

Discord’s claw gave her a light scratch, barely getting under her fur. “Nothing so nautical, Twilight. A squid pro grow. Or some other giant sea creature, perhaps. I spend time on you, you spend time on me.”

Twilight groaned before answering. She could play this game. She didn’t like it, but she could play it. “Whale, if that’s all, then I suppose I’ll accept. Like yourself, I’ve found I have an abundance of moments to spare lately.” She was startled when his claw firmly grasped her shoulder.

Discord abruptly invaded Twilight’s personal space to lift her off the ground like a toy and then tossed her haphazardly on the bed. The sudden movement surprised her, she wasn’t used to being tossed around so easily. Unless dragons were visiting, she was usually the largest thing in the room. Even then, nopony alive would consider simply tossing the princess of Equestria.

She quickly righted herself, finding Discord sitting on a comfortable looking chair that hadn’t been there before. He was wearing a pair of spectacles and had a notebook, clearly playing the part of armchair psychiatrist.

Twilight fluffed her wings in frustration, but settled down on her bed.

“So tell me about your mother.”

Slightly frustrated, Twilight started to talk. “Discord! I had a wonderful relationship with my family, and you know it.”

Discord scribbled something on his pad. “I see. I see. Now, what was her name again?”

Twilight paused. “She was just mom to me.”

Discord looked over his notebook, locking eyes with Twilight in the dim room. “Surely you remember the name of your mother.”

Twilight stared back at him silently as a sudden guilt washed through her.

He hummed, scribbling another thing in his book. “Interesting. And your father’s name?”

Twilight buried her face as she began to sniffle. She hadn’t been prepared for this, and the guilt was heavier than she expected. “He was just Dad…”

Discord nodded, glancing back down at his notepad. “Not his name either?”

Twilight held up a hoof. “I can remember. I can remember both of them. It will just take a moment.”

He frowned. “Time is up! Change places!”

Suddenly Twilight was in the chair, holding a notepad and wearing glasses. Discord was in her bed, laying flatly on his back and staring solemnly at the ceiling. She blinked, confused and still teary eyed. The paper seemed blurry through the glasses, but she could barely make out some doodles that he’d left on the pad. The doodles were some stars and a half crescent moon, emblems she quickly identified as her parents’ cutie-marks. “Night Light and Twilight Velvet…” Twilight whispered, relief washing over her as the names came.

Discord humphed, angrily. “Hey! It’s my turn. You got the squid, now I get the pro! You can go when it’s your turn again.” He huffed before settling back into the solemn gaze at the ceiling.

Twilight sniffed back her tears. He was just as crazy as always, but he was trying to help in his own way. “Of course… Why don’t you tell me about your parents?”

Discord stayed emotionless as he settled his claws on his belly. “I can’t.”

Twilight mumbled, still confused. “You can’t?”

He grunted. “I would if I could! I can’t remember daddy draconequus or mommy. I don’t know if they were mama and papa, mom, dad, or pops… let alone their names. I don’t know if I was born like this or if I became like this! It’s all gone!” He looked at her in a panic as he started to hyperventilate. “What do I do, Doc?”

Twilight frowned, watching Discord pull out a paper bag and breathe into it as he looked around the room in a panic.

He grumbled into the bag, seemingly confused. “Where am I anyway?” Discord pulled the bag away from his face, looked at Twilight, and snapped his fingers.

Twilight was laying in the bed again, disoriented from the sudden shift. Now she was laying on her back. “So you don’t remember your parents at all?”

Discord snorted angrily. “It’s your turn, Twilight. Not mine. Now where were we?”

Twilight sniffled, answering nonsensically to distract herself. “We’re in the Royal Suite, in Canterlot.”

Discord frowned. “Don’t be so obtuse. Although, let’s dissect what you said. You said ‘the Royal Suite’. Not in your room. Where is your room, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight mulled the question over. Her room was back at her home where she grew up. Maybe the tower here in the castle, but really she had only spent a few years there. No, the place she wanted to call home was her oak tree. Golden Oaks. A library she could never return to. A cozy warm fire with a wall of books and a snoozing baby dragon. Outside was a plethora of friends waiting for her and a giant world filled with adventure. It was all gone. Her friends had all passed, the books had been read, the dragon had grown up, the world had gotten smaller and more familiar. In the end, the fire had gone out.

Discord groaned again. “Well, this is just not working. If you don’t talk, you don’t therapize. You’re a terrible patient. You make a better therapist.”

Twilight was holding the notepad, sitting up again. On it was a blurry picture of a tree. Discord was staring wistfully at the ceiling, apparently lost in thought.

She carefully flipped the page, and put the pencil on the paper. “So, Discord, where is your home?”

Discord smiled. “I made my home. It’s where I’m happy. It doesn’t have gravity, or bug queens, or a real sense of time and space. It’s just perfect.”

Twilight took a breath, letting her magic doodle on the paper. “So the chairs are on the ceiling and the clocks run backwards?”

Discord sat upright, looking at her with earnest joy. “The ceilings, the walls, and occasionally the fridge, just to be safe. And the clocks run backwards, forwards, left to right, and away from the fine china.”

“That’s certainly intriguing. I’d like to visit one day.”

Discord blinked at her, slightly confused. “You want to… visit my home?”

Twilight snorted. “Well, I can’t visit mine. Yours sounds nice, in its own way.”

He glanced at her, and then glanced around sneakily. Then he whispered to her. “I know what’s wrong with you… I know why you can’t sleep.”

Twilight put the notepad down, and leaned forward. “And why is that?”

Discord snapped his fingers.

Suddenly, Twilight was laying on the bed again, while Discord was sitting in the chair holding the notepad. He looked at it intently before stuffing it into a shirt pocket in his coat that hadn’t existed before.

“Your diagnosis is simple. You’re old.”

Twilight took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and groaned loudly as she covered them. She didn’t know why she thought he might actually help her.

He hummed. “You only got so much room in that gigantic noggin of yours, and it’s time for you to brain dump some. But you don’t want to let go, do you?”

Twilight opened her eyes, surprised at how much and how little sense that made. Maybe he was on to something.

“But Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Flurry don’t have that problem.”

He hummed. “Oh they do. But how many friends does Celestia make? About ten a century? Luna makes even less, the old nag. Besides, those two aren’t afraid to let go. Cadance is on to, what, lover number four? I haven’t been counting. Even Flurry is Flurry. I’m not sure ponies stick in her mind for more than a minute. But you? You’ve made hundreds and hundreds of friends, and you try to know everything you can about them. Your brain is so filled with other ponies that you haven’t made room for yourself.”

Twilight frowned. “What about Spike? He’s doing fine, and he has as many friends than I do.”

Discord laughed. “Spike? He’s a dragon! He’s made to live a long time. Plus, dragons have an excellent memory when it comes to their treasure. Most dragons hoard wealth. That weirdo hoards friends as his treasure. I blame you. You were a bad influence on him. For shame!”

“This is crazy!”

“Crazy? Yes. That’s why you need a therapist. My turn! I’m crazy, too!”

Twilight was sitting in the chair again, wearing the spectacles. The notepad was gone.

Discord was sitting up in the bed smiling. “Did you mean it?”

“What?” Twilight couldn’t keep up anymore. He was changing too fast. Everything was too fast.

“Did you really think my house sounded nice? Or were you just trying to flatter me?” He looked intently at her.

She wanted to tell him that she was done, that she needed some time to think about what he’d said. But his smile was strangely hopeful. Twilight stuffed her confusion and fear in a mental box, deciding to play with Discord a little longer. He just seemed… like he needed it.

“Um… Yes. It sounds nice to have someplace where…” Twilight fumbled for a second. She wanted to be genuine, so she smiled when she found something that rang true to her. “… the rules don’t apply.”

Discord’s eyes sparkled. “I know, right? Ooh! How about next time you wake up lonely and afraid, I’ll call you and you can spend some time at my place instead of in the Royal Suite? It’ll be far more therapeutic than this nonsense.” He waved nonchalantly at the room. “We might even be able to do something about your problem.”

Twilight nodded, honestly interested. “That sounds nice. Although, while I wouldn’t mind a rescue, perhaps I could visit during a normal waking hour? I’d feel bad being an emotional zombie while I visited. And you’ve been…” Twilight paused and then smiled as she realized what she was about to say. “Very kind to me, Discord.”

Discord flashed a toothy grin. “Well, I learned from the best. Then perhaps I’ll pick you up, sometime between now and next week?”

“I suppose that works.” Twilight decided on a particular clause, remembering a prank of his from back when Rainbow was still around. “Just don’t grab me while I’m using the bathroom, please.”

“Deal.”

Twilight had lost count of exactly how many days it had been since she’d seen Discord. Time was slipping for her. Had it been three days or five? Her court appointments were getting confusing, and she was having trouble focusing. Luckily, she had an attendant to help with note taking. The dreadful life saving pills had run out, and Luna had told her to wait a week before using any again. Something about leaving the firmament or something. Twilight swore somebody else warned her of something, but couldn’t remember it. Had it been a dream? Maybe it had, but she only had nightmares lately. Just dark, empty… clawing nightmares.

There was a flurry of ponies talking to her and she nodded, smiled, and tapped her attendant when she was confused. The attendant, Crystal Trend, was aware of her sleep issue and had been helping cover for her.

Twilight blinked, and they seemed to be alone.

“Princess… I know you like to work, but I really think you need a sabbatical. At least until you feel better.” Crystal was pouting at Twilight.

Twilight pouted back. “Crystal! You know I can’t do that. It puts ponies at ease to bring their matters to my court.”

Crystal glared. “It doesn’t put them at ease to see you stare off in space while they visit. I daresay it does the opposite, Princess.”

Twilight frowned. Crystal was right.

A deep voice echoed through the nearly empty throne room. “And that’s my cue! Stage left! Or was it right?”

Twilight whipped her head to the side as Crystal covered her mouth with a hoof. Discord was standing next to her throne seemingly distracted by his left paw and his right claw as they jumped from arm to arm. “Lefty! Righty! How could you betray me like this?”

Crystal stifled her surprise and took a step back, whispering nervously. “Discord…”

Twilight smiled, strangely pleased. “Crystal, please relax. Discord is my friend.”

Discord looked up and swapped his hand and paw again. “That I am! And I believe you promised to visit? Your attendant thinks you should take a break, and I think now is a perfectly cromulent time!”

Twilight supposed he was right. Crystal was an attentive pony, and if she was suggesting that Twilight take time off, then Twilight should probably take time off. Sighing, she turned back towards Crystal. “Alright. You both win. I’ll take a short sabbatical to spend some time with my friend. Can you take care of that for me?”

Crystal nodded, keeping her eyes on Discord. “Yes, your Majesty… but… well… He’s Discord?”

He laughed. “In the flesh. Aren’t I amazing?”

Twilight smiled reassuringly. “He’s my friend, Crystal. Discord and I have known each other for a very, very long time. Believe me when I say that his pranks are a lot more harmless nowadays. Dare I say… fun?” She had liked the time a few years back when he’d turned Central Park into Central Bark, causing all the ponies to only be able to bark. It had been harmless, it was only for a day, and it had been amusing. The foals had loved it, making a game out of jumping in and out of the park mid sentence.

Discord puffed his chest out glaring haughtily at Crystal. “Yes. I am her friend. And I am hilarious. Devastatingly so.”

He swirled his fingers, and Twilight was somewhere else.

Discord looked smug. Twilight glanced around in a panic. There was no ground, no sky, and seemingly no… anything. Just a purple swirly mass of energy in the distance with crashing clouds and thunder. She kicked her legs, finding no purchase, floating helplessly in the void.

“Discord! Where are we?” Her voice was tinged with panic.

He skated on nothing, circling her as he spoke. “The Chaos realm! My domain! My special place! Where all chaos comes from and all is made. I am the prime being here, the master of the realm, the king, the one, the only… Discord!”

She glared at him. “I wasn’t done talking to Crystal! She doesn’t know how long I plan to be gone.”

He shrugged. “Plans? Eew. Not here. No, you said I could grab you when you weren’t going to the bathroom. So I did.”

Twilight remembered why she stopped hanging out with him regularly a few decades ago as she grit her teeth to smile. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

He playfully slapped her on her back, sending her careening through the void in a tumble. “Excellent! You’re going to visit my house! I haven’t had a visitor in a long time so I cleaned up a little. Got rid of the gremlins and the floor nails and even the cluster bunnies just for you!”

Twilight spun helplessly, fruitlessly kicking her legs and flapping her wings a few times, but with no luck. She grumbled as the purple storm clouds seemed to whip around her with each tumble. “How… nice.”

He grabbed her gently by her shoulders, stopping her spinning as he leaned in closer to whisper to her. “I even applied some… ugh… gravity.” He distastefully spat the word out. “I wouldn’t do that for anypony, you know.”

She honestly smiled, remembering how he used to rant to Fluttershy about hating gravity. “I actually do appreciate that, Discord. Thank you. Can you, uh, lead me there?”

He blinked, looking around in confusion. “Oh! Yes. You don’t know how to skate by. Always the workaholic… I taught Fluttershy, you know.”

Twilight blinked, forgetting the purple maelstrom to watch his eyes. They had a glazed, far away look as though he was remembering something terribly enthralling.

“At the end, she was a master of it. She was almost more nimble than I am, if you can believe it. She was like a beautiful bolt of madness here… much faster than she ever was in the normal boring realm.” His eyes twitched and he sighed.

Twilight put a hoof on him, reassuringly. “I’m sure she loved it.”

He smiled. “She did. Oh she very much did!” His smile grew wide; gleefully so. “Now come along!”

Something shifted, and Twilight felt the sensation of momentum. She wasn’t moving, but clearly she was traveling somehow. It would have been incredibly disorienting if it wasn’t for Discord’s soft paw firmly on her back.

She watched the tempest rolling in the distance as they moved across them empty space.

Tempest. There was a pony she hadn’t thought of in a long time. Twilight blinked, trying to remember the pony’s real name. She’d shared it in confidence once. An intimate moment where Twilight had made a friend for life. And now the name was somewhere stuck in her brain. Soda burst? No. Firecracker dance? No. Twilight groaned. It had been such a pretty name. Something long, happy, and colorful like pony names should be.

Discord tapped her head. “Hello in there! We’re here!”

Twilight opened her eyes, confused again. Where was she? Why was Discord… oh.

She meekly blushed. “Sorry. I, uh… was trying to remember somepony’s name.”

Discord quickly frowned, then grinned wide. “Oh. Well, we’ll get to that later I suppose. Until then, welcome to Casa Discord!” He gestured at a floating house.

Twilight let her eyes wander. It looked… normal. Huh. It was a red little house with a thatch roof, like had been common in Ponyville back when Twilight had lived there. Something that any of her friends might have lived in. There was a little path to the front door, a white picket fence, and even an apple tree in the front yard. Her eyes drifted beyond the front yard, and noticed an infinite void past it. They ground simply seemed to disappear, like they were on some floating island.

She looked curiously at Discord. “It’s… surprisingly cozy.”

He blushed. “Oh, I know! I just love it. I am very humble. But don’t worry, it’s bigger on the inside.”

Twilight walked up to the door, looking at the stylized draconequus he had as doorknob. “Humble… I can see that.”

The door swung itself open, and the house began to bob from side to side and sing.

“~Twilight! ~Twilight! Welcome to our house! We’d love to have you here, that much we do espouse!”

She ignored the song, and carefully stepped through the door. Inside was more spacious than it had seemed, Dicord hadn’t been lying. She watched as the foyer seemed to change shape and wiggle slightly to match the song. The décor was dated, clearly about two hundred years old. She recognized much of the furniture as having once been Fluttershy’s. Her eyes drifted to Discord.

He was waiting, literally holding his breath and turning colors as he tapped a nervous paw to claw.

She smiled warmly. “Your house is lovely, Discord. I really should have come by sooner.”

He opened his mouth, and deflated like a balloon. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to find him standing on the other side of her with a smug grin on his face. “Isn’t it? I’m so happy you did make time to come by, even if it was only because of some sort of immortality induced psychosis. I’m actually a little frustrated about that part, but then again, some of my best friends are mad! Well, at least one of the two of them that’s still alive.” He smiled pointedly at her.

Twilight sighed. “I really am sorry.”

He frowned, crossing his arms and falling back into a couch that looked alarmingly like Rarity’s red feinting chaise lounge. “Prove it.”

She blinked in surprise, not expecting to see a relic from one of her other friends. “Is… that Rarity’s?”

He shrugged. “No, it’s mine. But I guess it used to be.”

She felt faint for some reason. “I… I didn’t know you two were close.”

He growled. “We were. She left it to me in her will. I also have a collection of originally signed Rainbow Dash memorabilia, Rootswella—a tree from Applejack’s farm, you saw her out front—and two of Pinkie Pie’s party cannons. I even have Boneless Three from Cheese, Big Mac’s wig collection, and a comic book collection from Spike. Who regularly sends me new additions to it when he finds something interesting, mind you, as he doesn’t ignore me for decades on end.”

Twilight took a deep breath. She could guess what was lacking. “I’ve been a poor friend to you, Discord.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to give me anything Twilight. I have enough stuff. But I would like if you dropped by more. Or called me every once in a while. Or sent a letter. You know, thought of me in some way besides as a solution to your little problem.”

She deflated. “I… guess I lost track of things.”

He harumphed, pointedly turning his head and closing his eyes. “Yes, you did.”

Twilight bit her lip. “What if… I offered to spend more time with you?”

He opened one eye. “I don’t want a deal, Twilight. I just want to know you think of me every once in a while.”

She shuffled nervously. “Well, I know you like deals. And I know I’m bad with time. So what if we made a deal? You can come visit me once a week no matter how angry I am with you. Then you don’t feel guilty reminding me, and I’ll keep on track.”

He frowned. “No deal. I don’t want to have to remind you to be my friend.”

She bit her lip. “What if I visit you instead? Or at least call you? Then we can decide whose house we visit at. It doesn’t have to be big. Just… tea every once in a while.”

Discord deflated when she said “tea”. He looked at her oddly sadly. “You… want to do a weekly tea?”

Twilight nodded. “I would love to, if you’d let me. Although, if it’s not on a schedule then I might have a hard time being on time. I’m a princess after all.”

He frowned. “I hate schedules…” then he glanced up at his cupboard. “But I like tea…”

She smiled. “What if I set up the tea every Friday at noon? Then you can show up or not, or be late, or be early as you want. But I’ll set a cup and a plate for you regardless.”

He put his claw in his mouth and chewed on the talons as he thought.

Twilight continued, “You can even ponynap me during teatime. That way we can visit at your place if you want. It’s very nice, but I can’t easily get here.”

He glanced nervously at her. “Oh, I can teach you that.”

She smiled warmly, extending a hoof. “Do we have a deal?”

He chewed on his claw until it entirely disappeared, then used his paw to pull another from behind his back and screw it on his arm stump. He looked at her intently. “What do you get out of this deal?”

Twilight laughed. “I get more time with my friend… You. And you said you’d try to help me with my problem, but even if you can’t I’ll still be happy just to spend time with you.”

The house seemed to flex, as Twilight heard the singing continue on outside. Something about a fair and a derriere. Discord reached out a paw and then covered it with his claws, as though he seemed eager but afraid.

“And I get…?”

She smiled, reassuringly. “Weekly visits. Tea time. The promise not to ignore you for decades on end. Permission to ponynap me as needed, but only on Fridays after noon.”

There was a sad timber as he spoke quietly. “You’re not trying to replace Fluttershy?”

She felt a pang of guilt. She knew he did tea with Fluttershy. She’d just forgotten. “No… Just… me. Just your friend. I don’t think I could, you know?”

He nodded. “Oh, I know…” He looked down at his paw, and lifted his claw, reaching forward with the lion paw and leaning away from Twilight as he reached out toward her. Like he was reaching into a fire.

He sounded unsure, like he was asking her the question. “Deal?”

She smiled, taking his paw in her hoof. It was soft and firm at the same time.“Deal. We have a weekly tea time. I’ll have Crystal make sure my Friday afternoons are clear for you.”

He grinned as he shook her hoof. Somehow, he felt warm and fuzzy in her grasp, like a teddy bear.

His voice was ecstatic. “Let me show you the tea room!”

She followed quickly, happy that he was happy. And after all, isn’t that what friends are?

Dark.

Warm fuzzy fur. Blinking lights. Heat. Taste of fur. Push. Move. Pull. Lift. Squeeze the warmth. Feel it. Taste it. Muffled groan. Sweat. Spit. Swallow. Hot. Slick. Tight. Hard. Wet. Salty. Slip further.
Safe. Fur. Warm. Wrapped. Hot. Sweat. Confusion.

Confusion? Helpless. Helpless. Help…

Tingling hooves. Hot air. Wrapped. Surrounded. Stifled. Taste of salt. Taste of spit. Bumps, long, choking, dark. Sweet dark. Lovely dark. Tails entwined. Swish. Squeeze. Lovely, deep, warm, spit, swallow, swallow, swallow, swal… open. Deep. No air. No light. No gagging? Just heat. Deep, warm, wet, surrounded, possessed, held, stroked, squeezed.

Tails together. Legs spread. Cold air. Warm flesh. Not fur. Wet, slick skin on skin. Skin in skin. Warm. Wide. Stretched. Filled. Wet. Fading. Dark. Sweet dark. Warm dark. Loving dark. Fading. So… very… deep… Ecstasy.

Dark, sweet bliss. Claws and fur and paws and tongue and tail and warmth and heat and stretched and filled and bliss and love and need. Need. Need. Need…!

Pleased. Safe. Warm. Filled. Ache. Hungry. Love. Dark. Spit. Fur. Heat. Surrounded. Held. Lifted. Sweet. Soft. Slow. Spit and tongue. Mouth open. Tails entwined. Inside. Filled. Hungry.

Sweet darkness.

Again…

Twilight awoke from her death sleep with a cold sweat and a furiously beating heart. Groggily, she lifted her head from her pillow, and sat up in her bed. The humid air fought to drown her as the sheets clung wetly to her body, thoroughly soaked. Even her pillow seemed absolutely drenched.

Her head ached painfully, the usual headache somehow worse.

She coughed, spitting up a surprising amount of phlegm and mucus that had been stuck to her throat. Was she sick? She pulled herself out of bed, landing comfortably on her hooves and making her way to the bathroom so she could spit the salty mucus out of her mouth.

As she stood over the sink watching her disgustingly stringy loogie swirl down, her headache started to fade. She blinked, looking at her reflection. Her hair was frazzled, soaked with drool and sweat. Her eyes had sunken bags under them. But somehow… she had more color in her fur than she’d had in weeks. The pressure that had been pounding behind her skull for so long was… gone?

Curious, she lifted her hoof and inspected it as she realized that she hadn’t stumbled when she jumped out of bed.

This felt like her body.

A flood of relief rushed through her as she looked at a clock in the bathroom and saw that it was early morning, but not insanely so. She couldn’t remember last night, but it was now just before the sun was supposed to rise.

She’d slept. She’d actually slept, and not just lied there half dead for an hour.

Her dreams had been… odd, but she couldn’t be too worried about it. It wasn’t the first time she’d had a dream like that, though it wasn’t exactly a good dream. As she thought of it, she decided that it wasn’t exactly a bad dream, either. Most of what she could remember was just a cascade of feeling and sensations that she’d never explain to anypony else. Compared to the empty nightmares she’d been having, the strangely intimate and confusing dream might as well have been a dreamland paradise.

But the dream was fading, as all dreams do.

She let the memories of the dream leak from her mind as she brushed her teeth and started to prepare for her day. As her body woke up, she felt lighter and more coherent than she’d felt in a long time. She almost felt young again.

Smiling, she began to rinse out her hair, feeling even more refreshed as more of the remnants of last night’s comatose sleep washed down the drain.

Crystal looked over her schedule one more time. “I think that’s it, your Highness.”

Twilight leaned back in her throne and smiled warmly. “Oh, good. Thank you for your hard work today, Crystal.”

The attendant sighed, then frowned as she looked at Twilight curiously. “I didn’t do anything. I just made sure you were on time, and today you didn’t seem to need me again.”

Twilight laughed. “I’ll always need you, Crystal. Don’t fret.”

Crystal blushed, looking downwards. “I know… it’s just, when I started working for you, and please forgive me, you were always so scatterbrained. You couldn’t stay focused for more than a minute or two. And then over the years you got worse until your sleep issues started. Then Discord kidnapped you for two days, and you came back… More organized, focused, and coherent than me. It’s only been a week, but now I’m reciting your checklists because you like hearing them, not because you need me to remind you. I’m eternally glad you’re feeling better, but I just don’t think you nee…”

Twilight smiled warmly at the worried mare. “No, I do need you, Crystal. I did have a problem, and Discord helped me with it. But, and here’s a real secret…” Twilight leaned forward conspiratorially. “My problem hasn’t gone away, and it never will. When things get bad, I’m going to need an assistant. I need you, you specifically, to know me. I need you to be able to tell when I’m slipping, because I can’t. I’ll need you to manage my schedules, organize my notes, and escort me to meetings because no one else can know quite how… lost I get. You’re my friend. One of the very few who know me at my worst.”

Crystal looked nervous. “So… you still need me?”

Twilight nodded. “I will always need an assistant, but right now I need you. Once again, thank you for your hard work. And I truly mean it!”

Crystal blushed. “Thank you. Well, the only thing on your schedule is tea with Discord and a free afternoon. Is he going to… ah… borrow you again?”

Twilight shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll have to see.”

Crystal looked sternly at the checklist. “I’m glad he’s helping you feel better, but I just don’t trust him. Something about him is… unnerving. I always feel like he’s a predator looking for a meal. Sometimes I feel… something worse from him.”

A deep voice came from Crystal’s mouth as she opened it in surprise. “It’s the teeth, isn’t it? They just look like they’re going to eat a pony right up!”

Twilight stared in morbid fascination as one of Crystal’s teeth started to grow into a long snaggletooth that had a little mouth and eyes on it. The tooth continued to grow out of Crystal’s head, much to Crystal’s horror.

It sprouted little arms and folded them over like it was offended as it grew, causing Crystal’s head to twist to the side from the weight. “Ponies are always scared of teeth. Always have been. Some things never change.”

Crystal looked pleadingly at Twilight, her eyes in a sheer panic.

Twilight shook her head, and spoke sternly. “Discord! Leave Crystal alone. She is not finding this funny.”

The now almost pony sized tooth popped itself out from Crystal’s head, turning around to bow apologetically as it continued to grow and slowly morph into Discord.

Crystal Trend put her hoof over her mouth and covered it in a panic, looking at Discord with terrified eyes, then at Twilight with nervous fear. She flushed red as her gaze went back to Discord’s still bowing form. “Don’t do that!”

Then she ran, leaving Discord bowing to nothing.

Twilight frowned. “You must know that ponies don’t like strange objects growing from in their bodies, Discord.”

Discord rolled his eyes as he stood up and faced Twilight. “Nonsense! I love strange objects growing from my body!”

Twilight glared at him.

He sighed. “You were more fun when you were insane. Far more adventurous.”

She sighed, forcing herself to smile. All this really was antithetical to who and what Discord was. She should be grateful. “I’m still up for a little bit of fun, Discord.” His ears perked forward strangely when she said that. “I’d just prefer if you didn’t terrify my friends in the process. Speaking of fun, you’re a bit early. I haven’t set the tea up yet!”

Discord furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I noticed you were done early, so I popped on by. Would you rather I leave?”

Twilight slid off the throne, and walked up to him, looking sternly before smiling. “Not at all! I’m just sorry I don’t have the tea ready. Would you like to take it in the gardens? I’ve been thinking, and… She would have liked that, you know.”

A strange silence took Discord as he looked somehow guilty. “Yes. She would have… Although she would have missed her little…” He looked intently at Twilight, “Angel. Wouldn’t she?”

“Her angel? I thought you two were together? Or was that one of your kids?”

“Just one of the pets she had…”

Twilight laughed, feeling nostalgic “She did have so many… It’s not wonder I can’t remember them all. So, the garden? Or would you rather your place?”

Discord looked heavier somehow, as though his body was made of lead. “The garden. Please. Thank you. I’d like to feel proper sad with you instead of…” He waved his hands and they turned into sand while he watched, “Whatever this is.”

Twilight had never seen Discord look like this. Something was eating him up, but she couldn’t tell what. Carefully, she wrapped a comforting wing around him, noting that he felt oddly warm.

Fuzzy. Dark. Safe. Warm. Hot. Burning. Need.

She blinked, ripping her wing from him as a disorienting flash of sensations rushed through her.

What the heck was that? Her heart was pounding and her face burned with a bright red blush. He didn’t seem to notice her odd gesture, nor her reaction, instead staring blankly forward lost in his own thoughts.

He spoke slowly, still focused on nothing. “I’ve been… a certain kind of lonely. I don’t like it, you know? After your visit… I just want to be sad for a while first. With you? So I’m not lonely?”

Twilight took a deep breath and put her face into his shoulder, nuzzling him comfortably. She wasn’t about to hug him, not after that, but a simple nuzzle should be fine. Nothing weird happened, so she took another deep breath.

He smelled strange. Like raw magic and buttered noodles mixed with flowers and a farmhouse all at the same time. Something about the scent was both nostalgic and excitingly new. Had she never took the time to smell him like this?

What an odd thought. One doesn’t usually smell their friends. She supposed they did, just not… intentionally.

Her voice was careful. “Let’s go be sad then. We can talk about her. You can tell me what you remember and we can reminisce. I miss her terribly, I know you do as well. We’ll miss her together.”

His voice was strangely dark, almost jealous. “I’ll remember more than you.”

Twilight sagged. He probably would. Her memories of back then felt… faded somehow. “She was one of my first and best friends. But she was the same for you, and your lover, right? You should remember more than I. I think she’d like that.”

His arms started to turn to sand. “She would. But I don’t know if she’d want…”

Twilight hushed him. “Shoosh. Let’s go have tea and be sad in the garden. But first, race through the windows?”

Discord turned to look at her, the sand freezing. “The windows?”

Twilight smirked, then flew at one of her grand stained glass widows as fast as she could. The moment before she hit it, she used Haycarte’s method to put herself in the picture, letting herself become glass. The world was a kaleidoscope of color as she spread her wings and let the light filter through them.

She thanked whichever friend it was that had practiced this spell with her as Discord watched with a surprised look on his face, a smile creeping up as his eyes seemed to sparkle strangely. The purple light she was casting through the window made the whole throne room glow in her colors, and even Discord looked somehow breathless.

He shouted, grinning maniacally, “Through the glass it is then!”