I Can't Stand You Rainbow Dash

Finally making it into the town proper Rainbow and I started to get uneasy stares from the locals as they saw us enter.

“Wow rainbow everyone here sure knows how to give a warm welcome like you.” I say as I look around at all the ponies frozen in place staring at us.

“It’s because ponies have trouble trusting new and strange creatures. I just wish my friends had more common sense.” Rainbow continues to grumble alongside me.

“Listen Bluey, I am no threat to you. Hell, I don’t even want to be here! So how about we just focus on getting through the day, the sooner I don’t have to see your sorry ass the better.” I snidely remark as we keep walking down the road.

“Hey! I’m not a donkey! I’m a pony!” Rainbow shouts back annoyed at me.

“But it sounds good to me! The sooner I don’t have to look at you the better!” She harrumphs and keeps walking.

“Oh my God, did you just harrumph?” I stop walking and begin to laugh. Rainbow freezes and looks back at me.

“Wow, I had no idea I was with such a snooty pony, shall I grovel in your sight, your majesty? If it offends you, I can keep myself from your royal vision.” I say to her, still snickering. Rainbow scowls and flies up to my face.

“Listen buster! I’m not a snooty pony that cares for fru-fru dresses or what fork goes where! So stop with that!” Rainbow shouts at me causing a scene in the middle of the street, other ponies who were once frozen staring at me try their best to clear the road as fast as they can whispering to each other.

“Thanks, because of your outburst no one is staring at me anymore. Maybe you are good for something.” I say as I boop her snout to get her out of my face. She scrunches up and backs off.

“Oh my gosh dude! You are so annoying! Keep those things away from me!” She points a hoof at my hands.

“First off, these are called hands and the tips are called fingers.” I raise my hands and wiggle my fingers at her.

“Secondly, every close interaction has been brought on by you getting in my bubble. If you don’t want me to absolutely destroy you in wrestling or boop you then please stay out of my bubble.” I remark while walking.

“Whatever, I totally kicked your flank when we wrestled and would have totally kicked you outta here if I didn’t go easy on you for Twilight’s sake. Anyway we’re here at our first stop.” Rainbow points at a gingerbread building that we are approaching.

“Hm, and where did you take me first?” I ask her as we enter the building.

“This is Sugarcube Corner, the best pastry shop in all of ponyville. And pinkie works here, I figured I could have you work with her a bit so I can go practice.”

“Wow, pawning off the task assigned to you by the princess herself.” I look at her with mock shock.

“Whatever will I do without the oh so great Rainbow Dash by my side, maybe I’ll cry. Not from sorrow but from joy.”

“Yeah? Well-“ Rainbow stops at the counter and stares at it. I look up from her and see what she’s looking at. I see a balloon replica of what appears to be the pink one I met briefly at the farmhouse. Next to it is a tape that says for us to play it. Rainbow pushes the play button.

“Hi Rainbow! Hi Thomas! I’m sorry I’m not there right now to greet you both but I am busy working on… a thing and won’t be in all day! So if you have any orders please ask my understudy here!“ I look at the balloon pony then to Rainbow.

“She knows that’s a balloon right?”

“Oh silly! Of course I know it’s a balloon! But that doesn’t mean it can’t help out!” I hear the tape respond which causes me to stop and look at Rainbow with a bit of fear in my eyes.

“Did… did the tape. Just respond to me?”

“Yeah, that’s just Pinkie. She does things like this. Watch.” Rainbow dash turns to the balloon and orders.

“Can I get a Chewy Cherry Cupcake please?” Rainbow Dash sighs.

“Thomas, you want anything?” I blink in surprise.

“You’re getting me some food?” I ask, wondering what game she’s playing and looking at her with suspicion.

“You said you were hungry and haven’t eaten anything yet right? We kinda just left before Applejack could feed you.” Not wanting to look a gift pony in the mouth I decide to order.

“In that case I’ll take a simple cinnamon roll please.” Talking to the Pinkie clone.

“Roger dodger! One Chewy Cherry Cupcake and a cinnamon roll! You’ll find your treats on table 4! And don’t worry Dashie as thanks for all your hard work in showing Thomas around they’re no charge!”

“Well I don’t know if I should be happy or horrified at this service.” I say as we walk to the table.

“That’s just Pinkie, none of us question it. Twilight tried to once… it didn’t end well for her.” We both sit down and begin to eat.

“Yeah I can totally see that. I’m getting a headache just from this encounter, I can’t imagine what Twilight went through.” I say as I eye the treat in front of me as though it was poisoned.

“Dude, just eat it. There’s nothing wrong with it. Besides it might be one of the best pastries you’ve ever eaten.

“Wow! It is good!” I say as I bite into the cinnamon roll. It’s a perfect blend of moist, sweet, and creamy.

“Yup Pinkie is one of the best bakers in all of equestria I’d say. We’re really lucky to have her here.” Rainbow says while shoving the rest of the cupcake in her mouth.

“Man, we should have gotten some drinks to wash these down I guess.” I say laughing at Rainbow whose cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk’s. My laughing stops when I hear a ripping sound coming from above us, I look up and see another tape fall onto our table.

“No fucking way.” I say blinking in disbelief. Out of curiosity and a bit of fear as to what might happen to me if I don’t. I push the play button.

“And here are your drinks! Two apple juices! I hope you both enjoy!” I look around and see a tray with balloons attached to it slowly float to our table before gracefully landing with two glasses of apple juice on it.

“Rainbow I’m scared.” I say looking at the drink. I hear laughing from the other side of the table.

“Well Pinkie might not have been here to take you off my hooves but I’m still glad we came to see that priceless look on your face!” She continues to laugh then the tape picks back up.

“Dashie it’s not nice to laugh at new friends!” Rainbow stops laughing and also stares at the tape.

“Now I hope the two of you have a great Day! And see you later!” We both get up from our chairs and quickly make our way out. After we clear the building I feel someone staring at me. I turn around and see another Pinkie balloon staring at me from the window. I shudder and follow Rainbow on to our next stop.