I Can't Stand You Rainbow Dash

“Stop laughing. It isn’t funny.” I say while trying to keep as stoic of an expression on my face as I can.

“How can I not laugh? You’re scared of one of the nicest ponies I know?” Rainbow continues to laugh as she walks alongside me.

“It’s just not natural! Whatever happened there isn’t possible!” I say indignantly.

“No one should be able to predict something so specifically! It’s creepy!” I shudder again remembering the pink balloon staring at me.

“Awww is the widdle monster all scared?” Rainbow replies in a childish tone in between snickering.

“For the last time, I’m not a monster.” I grumble as we walk, not having the energy right now to fight.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway we’re here.” She stops in front of what looks like a giant cake with pony mannequins around it like a carousel.

“My friend Rarity lives here, she’s a fashion designer who makes a lot of frilly and fru-fru dresses.” Rainbow said as we went up to the door and knocked.

“Oh don’t be like that, I’m sure you look simply adorable in a nice dress. Why I’m positive you are simply the bell of the ball!” I laugh at her.

“Laugh it up pal, we’ll see how easy you laugh knocked out on the ground!” Before another fight is able to start the door opens and we are greeted by a white unicorn who smiles warmly at us.

“Rainbow! Thomas! Come in my dears!” She motions for us to enter and we head in. I look around and notice mannequins with partially completed outfits on them and other tools just strewn about.

“Wow Rarity this place is amazing. It’s always awesome seeing someone’s passion.” I say with a smile on my face.

“Why thank you darling. Honestly, being able to do what I love everyday helps me feel so fulfilled.” Rarity sighs happily.

“I’m very happy for you Rarity. I wish I knew what made me feel that way but I’m still looking for my purpose.” I smile and follow rarity. Rainbow stays by the door.

“Welp looks like you got things from here Rarity. I'm going to go practice some stunts for a bit. I’ll pick up Thomas later and show him Fluttershy’s place.“ Before Rarity could give her a response, Rainbow flew out the door and was gone. At this I sighed happily and smiled.

“Finally free from her. Now my day has suddenly gotten so much brighter.” I begin to happily whistle as I follow Rarity. Once in the kitchen she motions for me to sit down. I sit at the table and continue our conversation as she begins work on some tea.

“Thomas. Rainbow might be a bit… boorish but she means well. And she is a great pony to have as a friend.” She heads over to the table with the tea and joins me.

“She’s just a bit protective of her friends. Celestia knows we’ve had our fair share of dangerous creatures that we’ve had to fight.” I look at her as she begins to pour the tea.

“Wait, you have had to fight some dangerous creatures? No offense Rarity but you don’t seem like the monster fighting type.” I chuckle a bit as I try the tea. Rarity giggles as well.

“No, I suppose I don’t seem that way. But that’s the thing about ponies darling. What we are under the surface can surprise you.” She winks and takes a sip of her tea. I digest what she’s implying about Rainbow.

“Listen Rarity, you seem like a very nice pony. But I don’t think Rainbow and I will ever be friends. She and I go together like oil and water.” When I say this Rarity just laughs.

“That may be true darling, but a fresh salad goes simply splendidly with olive oil.” She winks at me and smiles, continuing to sip her tea. I just stare at her incredulously.

“Sorry Rarity, I just don’t see what you’re talking about. We’re both at each other's throats. And personally I don’t think either of us want to be friends.” I finish my cup of tea and set it back down.

“Yes well, it’s simply food for thought darling. Now then onto other more important matters.” She says, eyeing me.

“I’ve noticed you are wearing an approximation for what a proper outfit is.” She remarks about my dirty green polo and jeans.

“It would be a crime if you didn’t allow me to make you something more suitable for you.” She said with pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry Rarity, I don’t think my money is worth much here. In fact it’s the whole reason Rainbow and I started to fight.“ Rarity blinks in surprise.

“Whatever do you mean darling?”

“Well she wouldn’t accept my money for apples and said I need to pay a bit of something. She wouldn’t tell me what though and then hit me.” Rarity looked at me and brought her hoof to her face.

“Darling, the name of the currency here is called bits.” At this revelation I blink.

“So you’re telling me all my trouble with her started because I didn’t understand the currency?” I sigh and close my eyes.

“Well this sucks. It would have made my life a whole lot easier if I knew that then.” Rarity just giggles again and gets off of the chair.

“Yes well, nothing about the past we can change so let’s look towards a brighter future. Now come along Thomas, your future has you in a brand new outfit that will really wow everyone! And don’t worry about paying for this, I like a challenge and that will be enough payment for me!” I get up and follow Rarity to her workshop.

“Now please excuse the mess but this keeps the creative juices flowing as it were. If you can just stand still I’ll get your measurements and begin work on your outfit at once!” Rarity begins the effort of measuring me for my new outfit using her unicorn magic.

“You know, that still amazes me. Magic was always a fairy tale where I’m from so seeing you guys able to use it with ease is so cool.” I say, trying to keep as still as possible for her.

“Oh this magic is just simple levitation magic. Most unicorns are able to do at least this much. You should see Twilight, she has a spell for pretty much every occasion. She’s truly amazing when it comes to spellcasting.” The gears in my head start to turn.

“Hey Rarity, do you know any sleep spells?” I ask as she finishes measuring me.

“I did learn one for nights that I have trouble going to sleep. Why do you ask?” She looks at me confused. At this comment a wicked grin appears on my face.

“How would you feel about helping me pull a prank on Rainbow?” I ask in sadistic glee as the plan begins to form in my mind and we get to work.

“Hello? Rarity? Thomas? Are you guys here?” Rainbow asks while entering into the boutique all the lights off.

“Seriously guys where are you?” She enters further in and as she does the door slams behind her. She quickly turns around and sees her escape has been blocked off.

“Guys? What’s going on?” She says with less certainty in her voice as she starts to get nervous. She walks past the pony mannequins in the main room and fails to notice that one of them moves off its podium. Slowly sneaking up it quickly ignites its horn and whispers.

“Sleep.” At this, Rainbow’s eyes flutter and she collapses on the floor. After that happens I turn the lights back on and cackle maniacally.

“Now my dear Rarity. It is time for our fun to begin.” I hear Rarity squeal in delight as I pick up Rainbow and we take her deeper into our lair. After we put the finishing touches on Rainbow finally wakes up,

“Huh? Where am I? What’s going on?” She opens her eyes groggily and looks around. She gets up and as soon as she stands a bright flash blinds her eyes and she hears laughing.

“And this is one for the scrapbook.” I say laughing and waving the picture around before putting it in my pocket. After recovering from the temporary blinding Rainbow looks around and sees that she is wearing a nice dress that is similar in style to a cloud with rainbow patterns swirling around it. She runs to a mirror and sees her mane done up in a bun with some makeup put on her eyes and lips. Realizing what happened her eyes narrow and burn with rage.

“I’m gonna get you for this!” She shouts trying to fly in the dress to get to me but failing. Laughing I hand Rarity the camera back.

“Thank you for a lovely time Rarity but I really must run, for I have other appointments to keep.” I say in a fake posh accent as I run to the exit.

“Thank you for our chat darling. I hope Rainbow doesn’t hurt you too badly!” I hear Rarity call out to me as I run out the door. I hear screaming behind me as a colorful cloud jumps out of the door and tackles me to the ground, all the while I’m laughing hysterically and can’t stop.

“I’m gonna get you for this!” Rainbow shouts at me.

“Oh but my dear, that isn't very ladylike. Perhaps we need to incorporate proper lessons in your routine as well.” I say mockingly as she’s laying on top of me. At this I feel something connect to my head and after seeing stars I recover a bit and push Rainbow off me. I feel my head where she hit me and feel blood.

“Great, I dress you up and you cause me harm. Great payback there.” I spit out bitterly.

“Hey you were the one that started this! But you’re right, that was pretty uncool.” Rainbow deflates a bit. But quickly perks up.

“Luckily the last stop on our tour has us going to Fluttershy’s. She’s great with all sorts of creatures so I’m sure she can patch you up! Let’s go.” Rainbow heads off towards the outskirts of town and I follow behind.