Break Stuff

The sweet smell of cut grass and snapped tree branches was the first thing to hit me as my head spun from the wacky ride I'd been taken for. Slowly, as my eyes focused and my senses sharpened, I realized I was lying on the ground of a forest, and judging by the rough hole cut through the canopy above me, I'd plunged through the trees above me.

I took a breath, savoring the natural aroma in the air before slowly sitting up and looking around. Just beside me, my ghost sat twisting and humming with delight.

"Ah! I was only gone for a little while, but what a difference!" She declared, her shadowy body vibrating as she spoke. I wasn't sure, thanks to still being a little disoriented, but it looked like she had gained more definition, and was now a little firmer. "It felt like getting dragged underwater and having to hold my breath."

I blinked at her and tilted my head. "Huh?" She twisted her head all the way around and looked at me.

"I only managed to pull us back here because I had a little bit of my magic held inside myself," she explained, winking at me. "Your world was completely dry." I hummed with a nod before jabbing a finger at her.

"Neat. Moving on. You said you could help me break stuff," I said, jutting my chin at her with a snort. "Pay up." She giggled and jostled before settling into a smaller blob shape.

"Okay! Okay," she said before rolling a tendril out at me. "Listen. That feeling I told you to focus on is the key. That's the cornerstone upon which the art of magic is built."

"Okay," I replied. She looked around and then pointed just past my foot.

"Here's a basic one for you," she said as I moved my foot to see the rock she was pointing at. "Focus on that feeling, like before, and try to move that rock." I nodded, recalled the warm tingly sensation that had crawled through my head meat, and reached forward to grab the rock. She balked as I lifted it and handed it to her.

"No! Not-" She threw her head back with a groan and glared at me. "Not with your claws." I shot her a wide frown.

"But how-" She waved her tendril at me.

"Focus on the idea of it moving," she said. I furrowed my brow and stared at the rock in my palm, uncurling my fingers and focusing. My mind was blank for a moment before I settled on the mental image of it slipping off my hand. To my surprise, that's exactly what happened despite my hand being level.

"Aw, sick!" I cheered as it rolled off and hit the dirt.

"Yep! That's a basic levitating spell!" She chirped, patting me with her tendril. However, I quickly turned and scowled at her.

"How's that gonna help me break things?" I demanded, causing her to recoil and tilt her head.

"Well, it's a start!" She chirped, offering her tendril to me. "You have to practice to get the really juicy stuff, you know?" I held my scowl causing her to slowly wilt.

"Man, Bob had a whole crate of dynamite ready to go and you yanked me away," I huffed, snapping my arm out and wafting her head apart. "Little shit." She remained distorted for a moment before reforming and glaring at me.

"Fine. I'll teach you another one," she huffed, earning a curt nod from me as I stood up. "Don't blame me if it's too complex or abstract to pull off, though!"

"Pull off this," I replied, yanking at my belt, causing her to recoil. "Spill." She leveled an even glare at me for a moment before snorting.

"Okay, same deal, focus on the feeling, and the image," she said, waving her tendril at me. "In this case, the image is of pure magic, shooting towards something like an arrow." She snapped her tendril to the side, causing me to blink and frown harder.

"I don't-" I hesitated and glanced to the side before shaking my head. "What's that look like?" She bobbed and huffed at me.

"Told ya," she snorted as I pondered her words. Magic, shooting like an arrow. I narrowed my eyes and then gasped when something clicked.

"Oh! Wait," I snapped my fingers a few times before pointing at her. "Like Goku?" Her confident demeanor melted and she tilted her head.

"I- I don't know what that is," she murmured, but I nodded my head as an eager smile formed on my face.

"I think you mean like Goku, hold on," I said before taking a stance. I brought my palms together and slowly pulled them back. I went through the exercise she'd given me with the mental image of a beam of blue energy shooting from my hands. To my delight and her surprise, I felt a tingling in the space between my palms. "HA!" I thrust my hands forward and a narrow tube of red and yellow energy shot out with a vibrating hum as it peeled through the air. The beam struck a tree dead on and blew a hole in its side before dissipating. I barked a victorious laugh as my ghost sagged.

"What." She quacked. I cackled and pumped my fist toward the smoking tree which then began to creak and groan before falling over.

"It worked- Ough," I doubled over and clutched my head, which was suddenly overcome by a dull ache that spread to the rest of my body. Seemingly at that moment, this new pain decided to mix with the general albeit subdued fatigue I'd built up from working before meeting the ghost, and I found myself down on my knees. My eyes were unfocused, but I could still make out the faint shape of my ghost as she drifted in front of me.

"Okay, shocking speed of advancement aside, that's also why you need to practice," she said, twisting to look me in the eyes despite how low I was bent. "Your silly mundane form isn't built for high magic!" I gritted my teeth and winced before pushing up.

"Says you. It's already passing," I huffed before rolling to a sitting position and blinking until I could see straight. All in all, it wasn't any worse than some of the times I really pushed myself jogging or lifting. "Woof. Okay. I can work with this."

"If you say so," she hummed, twisting and twirling in the air before settling right beside me. "Oh, by the way. If we have time, I have some things I'd like to try and get ahold of."

"What kind of things?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her as my strength steadily returned.

"Magic books. The kind that'll help you use more magic!" She chirped, drawing a snort from me as I slowly stood up.

"Not sure how much more magic I need," I declared, eyeing up the tree I'd destroyed. As I rolled my shoulder and cracked my neck, she looked me up and down before humming.

"I guess blowing up whole mountains just isn't for you, huh?" She declared causing me to pause. I leered down at her for a moment before scoffing.

"You win this time, Snippy," I replied, cracking my neck.

"Snippy?" She murmured. Rather than respond, I pursed my lips as a thought occurred.

"Hey, if I can move things with my mind, can I move myself?" I asked, rolling my shoulder and looking at my body.

"Well-" Before she could fully respond, I already rolled out the full routine and slowly started to drift upwards.

"I can!" I cheered.

"Yeah, but-!" She squawked as I punched a fist into the air and rocketed straight up, giggling all the way. "Wait, you idiot! You're still a novice! This is too high!" I was about to retort when I cleared the treetops and then was slammed by the exhausting feeling from before. I groaned hard and clenched my eyes, before curling up on myself. Snippy shouted something else, but I couldn't hear her over the sound of rushing wind and the sudden and painful snapping that overtook me. All of that ended when I hit the ground with a wheezing heave. I sprawled out and gawped at the distance I'd fallen from and gasped.

"I'm alive?" I wheezed, at which Snippy materialized over me.

"You are so freaking lucky is what you are," she spat, flicking a tendril at me. "So long as you're wearing me, you have the power of the three tribes all wrapped in one."

"The what?" I asked.

"The three pony tribes of Equestria," she replied gesturing with her tendril. "Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns." I blinked at her explanation.

"What's Equestria?" I huffed, causing her to pause.

"Where we are? Haven't you been listening?" She finally demanded, at which I furrowed my brow.

"Where's that? Kentucky?" I asked, slowly rolling onto my side. "Sounds like Kentucky." She hovered above me with a dumbstruck sort of look.

"Fuckin' hate Kentucky," I declared as I sat up. Snippy blinked and then rubbed her shadowy chin.

"Well, it's not in Kentucky, I'm pretty sure," she murmured with a slow nod. "It's actually-" I sighed in relief and waved my hand.

"Ah, we're good then," I chuckled and fixed her with a curious look. "So, tribes? What?" She hovered there for a moment before twitching slightly.

"Okay," she hummed before nodding at me. "You've got earth pony strength and durability, pegasus agility, and unicorn magic all wrapped in one. Understand?"

"Uh-huh?" I replied, rubbing my chin as I digested all this information.

"It'll still take some time for your body to adjust since you're so magically dead by nature," she explained, gesturing to my body with her tendril. "But with time and practice it'll all start bubbling to the surface." I steadily progressed from rubbing my chin to pulling on my lower lip.

"Okay," I said with my teeth before a thought occurred and I checked my watch. I hissed at the time and stood up. "You mind if we pick this up tomorrow? I need to get to get home and bed."

"What?" She asked as I stretched.

"I got work in the morning. We're still clearing out that fucking mini-mansion," I said with a satisfied groan as my back popped.

"Oh!" She cried before shaking her head. "Yeah, sorry. That's not going to be happening." I snorted and cast an incredulous look her way.

"What, did the contract get canceled?" I huffed, shaking my head. "How the fuck would you even know that?" She giggled and shook her head again.

"Nah, that's not what I mean," she raised another tendril and clapped them. "I had to do some serious heavy lifting to drag us both back to Equestria and it still knocked you out cold." She pointed skyward as she spoke.

"The only reason I was able to pull you for the ride was cause I pretty much reversed the wormhole spell that I got chucked through in the first place," she said, slowly swirling through the air before looking at me. "And that was only possible cause it wasn't closed all the way yet. As a result, we-" She paused upon meeting my vacant, even, and unimpressed expression, and she blinked.

"I can't send us back to your home 'cause the door shut behind us," she said in an impatient tone as her tendrils sagged. "And it's shut really hard so you'd have to be extra, extra strong to handle pulling it open again." I furrowed my brow, but she raised a tendril before I could argue.

"And you're not," she accused before shrugging. "Maybe later! But not now." I looked to the side as I processed her words.

"So, I'm missing work?" I huffed.

"Yes," she sighed.

"Damn," I hummed before nodding. "Alright. Where's your place then?" She recoiled at my question.

"My place? I don't have a house," she declared, causing me to grunt.

"Bitch?" I spat, before grumbling and fishing out my wallet, searching for my card. "Fucking A, let's find a place to rent and crash then. I got my debit on me." I wagged my wallet at her before walking away.

"I don't- Whatever," she replied before slithering to catch up to me. Once she did, she hovered over my shoulder and pointed to the right. "That way, I'm pretty sure!"

After a healthy bit of hiking during which Snippy kindly explained that I had 'three tribe endurance' or whatever which is why I was able to walk so far despite all the work I'd done today, I made it to a proper road. Well, mostly proper—It was made out of cobblestones and gravel. I thought we'd just stumbled onto someone's driveway until I spotted all the houses the road led to. We'd actually exited the forest on the side a big sign stood that read 'Welcome to Detrot! Home of Aunt Buttersquash's Famous Pies!'

Raising an eyebrow at the town's name, I made my way down the road to the town proper. As I did, Snippy popped up in front of me.

"Now, far be it for me to tell you what to do," she declared, raising a tendril at me. "But! You might find it beneficial to try and keep a low profile." She swirled and slithered through the air around me, drawing my gaze after her.

"So don't blow anything up just yet, okay?" She added with a hopeful tone before gesturing forward. Looking that way, I gasped at what I saw. "The locals already spook easily when they see things they don't understand."

All throughout the town and now looking at me were a whole load of little colorful horses with way too big eyes. Some were pulling wagons, others were sitting at little tables and had paused with their mouths full to look at me, and quite a few had little outfits on.

"They're little gumdrop horsies," I murmured, gesturing to the lot of them. "What the hell?"

"I told you. We're in Equestria now," Snippy said as she hovered into view. "We're on a whole other planet from the one you were born on." I blinked and considered the horses again.

"Oh," I hummed before it really clicked. "Oh! I get it."

"Finally," she sighed, shaking her head. As I scanned the tiny horses, she gestured to a few that I now saw had horns or wings. "So, yeah. These are the three pony tribes I was talking about. And they believe in friendship, love, and all the sappy power that can bring. Yech." I recoiled at her words.

"Really?" I asked, at which she nodded. "Wow. It really is like a Saturday morning cartoon." I considered the horses again. Then, suddenly, it clicked and I grinned.

"And that makes me Skeletor," I said in a low and eager growl. A few of the little horses flinched before slowly creeping away.

"I don't know what that is," Snippy replied as I rubbed my chin. I pursed my lips and turned to her.

"Is there like a Space Police I should worry about? For like if I break the law while being from another planet?" I asked, causing her to blink and tilt her head back.

"I mean," she hummed before shrugging. "There's- Guards and the Defenders of Equestria."

"Where are they?" I pressed, at which she perked up.

"I tried to drop us a few miles away from the town the Defenders hang out at," she shot a scowl to the left. "I learned my lesson this time."

"Noted," I said with a chortle before turning and spying out a little green horse in a bow tie. I pointed at them and strode toward them, causing them to wilt.

"He-he-hello?" He squeaked once I stood over him, causing me to adopt a wide and sad frown.

"Buh, buh, buh," I blubbered before jumping at him. "BOO!" Absolute panic erupted across the street then, and all the little horses went stampeding away. I giggled with malicious glee at the sight before stomping my foot on the tail of the little green guy I'd targeted.

"Don't eat me!" He begged before I thrust my hand at him and pulled him up with my magic.

"Take me to the nicest motel in town," I demanded, jabbing a finger at him. He blinked and shivered.

"Nicest what?" He squeaked, causing Snippy to pop up between us.

"I don't think they don't have those. Only inns," she explained before sliding out of view. I nodded at him.

"Take me to the nicest inn in town," I demanded, causing him to flinch.

"Okay," he squeaked.