Rainbow Dash is (Not) Gay

Our very favorite gaggle of gal pals sat in a loose circle, giggling giddily. The sleepover was going exceedingly well. Everypony felt that it had been far too long since they'd been able to get together simply for the joy each felt in each other's presence. Applejack had surprised and delighted them all when she presented a fresh barrel of hard cider to liven up the occasion.

As was right and proper in accordance with the dictates of the text on the subject, a game of Truth or Dare was being braved to the hilarity or humiliation of all involved. Rarity had already stood balanced on her horn and had successfully chugged a mug of cider without spilling a single drop. Twilight had very carefully eaten a whole quesadilla, and a very red faced Fluttershy had divulged some very steamy secrets about a certain draconequus.

The time seemed ripe enough and Applejack gave the signal for Pinkie Pie to set in motion the scheme they'd arranged. The party pony leaned forward with a devilish grin, only barely able to repress her excitement. “Okay Dashie, truth, or dare?!” She said with needless emphasis.

All assembled said as one, “Dare!” Everypony rolling their eyes as Rainbow Dash only and ever chose dare.

Pinkie appeared behind the pegasus and stuck a hoof towards the farm pony. “Then I dare you.” She paused for dramatic effect, and stage whispered loud enough to be heard by all. “To kiss Applejack!” The silence was palpable. Each knew that this gambit was risky. It would either make the night, or break it. The uninvolved sat wide eyed, hooves over their mouths, waiting for the other horseshoe to drop. Applejack blushed and averted her gaze, trying not to look too excited at the prospect. Nopony would've guessed what was about to happen.

The tension snapped like a wire as Rainbow merely rolled her eyes and pushed the party pony out of her personal space. “Okay Pinks. Ya got me. Truth then.”

The tense silence that had reigned before was replaced by an even louder stunned silence at the response. Even the involved sat mouth agape. Pinkie had to scramble to think of how to proceed. “Uhm. . . Well. . . Let's see.” She snatched a glance at Applejack, and received no help as the farm pony looked just as surprised as the rest of them. “Well then.” She put her game face back on and tried to salvage the situation. “Well then, tell the truth. Do you liiiIIIIIiiike her?”

Again the wonderbolt rolled her eyes. “No Pinkie. I do not.” She mimicked her interrogator’s tone and used her wings to make air quotes. “LiiiIIIIiiike her. She's just a friend. Nothing more.” She took a swig of her cider, expecting Rarity to take her turn, but looked back to five pairs of eyes staring in shock at her. The pegasus eyes darted back and forth at each in turn, the tension mounting with every proceeding moment of silence. “What?” Was all that came to mind in response to the chorus of stillness coming from what moments ago had been a lively game.

“But, I mean you do. . .” Rarity began, but realized the impropriety of the question and grew silent.

“Do. . . What?” Rainbow said, still not understanding the confusion in the room.

It fell to Pinkie to ask the question that only Rainbow seemed blind to. “Dashie? . . . Do you. . . Not like mares?”

The wonderbolt gawked, completely taken aback by the unexpected question. “What the hay? No!” She looked about the circle and saw that everypony had the same evasive look on their face and her eyes began to widen in shock. “Wait! Do you all think. . .” She snapped to her hooves in outrage. “No! I am not a filly fooler! What would make you think that?” She looked from face to face waiting for an answer.

Finally Fluttershy felt the need to hazard an explanation. “Well. . . Dash. I mean. You're rather assertive.” She said without much conviction.

“And you don't exactly put too much stock by. Ahem. . . Attending to the finer points of tidying oneself up. Per se.” Rarity mumbled, unable to meet the pegasus’ eyes.

“And you're always rather uhmm. . . High contact with us.” Twilight said, still trying to think of a better answer. “You know. Your female friends.”

“Plus you've got that power top dommy mommy energy that ponies love so much.” Pinkie said, trying to put a positive spin on the collective assumption.

“No!” Rainbow shouted, a tone of disgust in her voice. “I'm not gay, I'm just not a girly girl like you two.” She said gesturing at Rarity and Fluttershy. “I'm just high activity! Just like Applejack! Right A.J.?” It was then that she noticed that the farm pony was sitting, head in her hooves, like her whole world had been knocked off kilter by this revelation. “Applejack?” Rainbow said, hoping for some back up.

Applejack raised her head, her expression that of mind blown shock. “Y'all ain't gay?” She said, emphasizing the fact that it was a notion taken as granted.

The wonderbolt stamped a hoof. “You ALL think I'm gay don't you?!” She groaned and turned her back on her friends, unable to look at them in that moment.

Twilight rose to try and defuse the situation. “Now Rainbow, just calm down. There's nothing wrong with.”

Rainbow spoke over her as if she hadn't heard. “I mean, I know I haven't dated in a while, but that's just cause I was focusing on my career!” She snapped still with a realization, and a panic began to grow in her mind. Her head turned slowly, her scarlet eyes blazing accusingly. “Is that why I haven't had a single coltfriend since I moved to Ponyville?! DOES EVERYPONY THINK I'M GAY?!” The answer to her question, though not spoken aloud, was written on every silent face in the room. “Oh my Luna!” She dashed out of the room, ignoring the cries of her friends behind her to stop.

Twilight rose to pursue her friend, but knew even as she saw the rainbow blur begin to fade that she was too late. She paused when she noticed Applejack slowly walking out of the room in a daze. “Applejack?. . .” She whispered in concern.

The farm pony stopped, but didn't look back. “Rainbow Dash. . . Ain't. Gay. . .” She said as in a daze, putting extra emphasis on each word, as if physically unable to comprehend the notion. She walked off without another word. Rainbow for her part was dashing all about the area, and causing one of Ponyville’s biweekly panics. She grabbed the head of a background pony, whom some Brony somewhere has more than likely named, given an entire history and genealogy, but here will remain indistinct, and shouted, “Do you think I'm gay?!”

The nondescript pony looked about in surprise for a moment before stammering, “A-aren’t you?”

Rainbow threw her head back in frustration and screamed, her hooves on her head. She snatched Scootaloo off of her scooter mid jump and shouted, “Do you think I'm gay?!” Again the same reaction. The pony that admired her most in Equestria looked about in shock and confusion before scratchily saying, “Aren't you?” Rainbow threw her behind her without looking where she would land, and it was only by cartoon logic that she just so happened to snatch her abandoned scooter mid air and execute a flawless landing. Rainbow zoomed straight upwards to where the Wonderbolts were forming up for evening exercises. She dashed into the control tower and screamed into the intercom microphone, “Do you think I'm gay?!”

As one, all of her comrades responded in the same voice, “Aren't you?” The humiliated pegasus bolted straight home and slammed the door behind her.