Rainbow Dash is (Not) Gay

Our poor misunderstood pony lay curled up on her bed, cuddling her beloved pet tortoise, still sniffling at her humiliating ordeal. She held Tank out at leg's length to look him in his adorably wrinkly face as she asked, “You don't think I'm gay, do you boy?” The tortoise slowly, awkwardly retracted into his shell to avoid the uncomfortable situation. Rainbow groaned and rolled over petulantly. She had determined to simply call it a day and go to sleep, but a knock on the door interrupted her. The miserable pony, being in no mood for company, at first decided to simply ignore the unwanted visitor. After several repeated knocks however, Rainbow reluctantly rose and shuffled grumpily towards the door. She flung it open, ready to give whoever it was on the other side a piece of her mind. Her spite was halted however, upon seeing a rather nervous looking pegasus stallion, holding two tickets under his wing.

“Oh Uhm, hey there. Ahem Dash. I'm Tale Spin.” Rainbow stood, an unamused grown on her face. The stallion cleared his throat and resumed. “Ahem. I'm a wing pony in the records depo. . .” He grinned nervously, hoping for any sort of response from the glaring mare. The mare in question only made a sign with her wing that meant, “Yes, and?. . .” Thankfully this modicum of input gave the nervous pony his opening to state what he had bothered her about. “Oh, right. Uhmm.” He showed the two tickets in his wing. “The new Daring Do movie is still showing. You wanna. . . You wanna go see it with me.” He resumed his overly wide grin.

The stallion having finally spat out what the hay he wanted, Rainbow stood in the doorway nonplussed. It took several seconds for her to be able to form a response. “Okay, so, one, I've already seen it three times, and it's not as good as the rest of the series. The new director they got is. . . Ugh. Don't get me started. Look, I'm just not in the mood right now. There's this whole thing with. Who is this now? . . .” She was interrupted in turning the poor stallion down by another stallion flying up and landing a few steps away from the conversation already at hoof.

Only upon landing did he notice the conversation already in progress, and grew embarrassed, like one not expecting to see somepony else. “Oh, hey sorry! Am I interrupting something?”

Rainbow shook her head in confusion for a moment. “Wait, I know you. You're.” She had to snap her wing a few times to jog her memory.

The stallion cleared his throat, “Ahem, Sky Splitter. Ma'am.”

“Yes! You're one of Spitfire’s aides. That one. What are you doing here?” Rainbow asked.

Sky Splitter smiled to see the mare remembered him. “Oh, well, hate to bother you, just wanted to see if it wanted to have dinner on Saturday night?” Before Rainbow could fully express surprise at the unexpected invitation, yet another stallion flew up, and again, seemed embarrassed that anypony but himself was at Rainbow’s door. And then another flew up. And then another. And then another and another and another until a small herd began to form on Dash’s cloud lawn. Several were holding flowers, chocolates, or other small gifts.

Rainbow gawked at the sight until finally it clicked in her mind. She sighed, “You AAAAALL JUST found out I'm straight didn't you?” Nopony could look her in the eye. She saw the same embarrassed evasive expression on every face. She rolled her eyes and turned to slam the door on these presumptive stallions, but all at once a thought occurred to her. A large part of her dismay had been that very few stallions ever flirted with her or asked her out, causing her to question her desirability. Well, here was an entire herd of stallions all demonstrating she was desirable. She turned and a small smirk crept onto her face. She didn't want ponies to think she was gay, and here was an entire herd willing to prove it. She shouted in her Wonderbolt command voice, “Alright everypony! Line up! Single file! Let's go! I haven't had a stallion since I was in school. Time to make up for lost time!”