A Series of Bad Fan Fictions
Twilight's Great Acheivement
Twilight's Great Achievement
Twilight stood in her library, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to do.
She began by sending multiple signals from her brain. They traveled through her nervous system down towards her body. The first set went down to her front left hoof, tensing the muscle to lift it off the ground. Another signal went to her shoulder on the same leg in order to lift her hoof outwards, her body lurching forward slightly from the sifting weight. While this occurred, her heart had been beating at approximately 38 beats per minute, pumping blood throughout her body. Twilight had sent another set of signals from her brain, while her lungs had inhaled oxygen for red blood cells to distribute through her body on their journey in the circulatory system.
Her struggle finally reaching a close, the signal traveling down to her front left leg once more, causing her to lower her hoof back down to the floor, distributing a fraction of her total weight onto it.
It had finally been done, through Twilight's hardships, she had managed to take a step forward.
Unfortunately for her, the author decided to end the story there, thus no more signals were sent, and Twilight collapsed like a puppet.
Spike stood near, wide eyed at what just occurred.
Pinkie's Great Adventure
It had been just like any other day for Pinkie Pie.
The day had started off with her helping Mr. & Mrs. Cake in the kitchen, followed by watching the Cake twins for a couple hours. Pinkie had plans to go meet up with her friends for a picnic that afternoon, so after finishing with the twins she headed out the door and towards her destination.
It was at that point that Pinkie... Wait, where did she go? This doesn't make any sense, she should be heading to the town square to--
"Hi there! What's going on back here?"
The author discontinued this story out of fear.
Obligatory Lyra Chapter
"Humans!"
"Over there, look, humans!"
"HUMANS!!!"
Lyra Heartstrings had been watching this event unfold, and had a very confused look on her face. "What was THAT about?" she asked aloud.
The Illness
Twilight Sparkle woke up in the hospital after her walking incident.
The doctors had managed to revive Twilight after her system failed on her, but had yet to discover what caused the problem to begin with. The past 3 days had just been test after test, which began to get tiring.
'After all, they wouldn't even let me study the results!' she thought, dissatisfied with the situation.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knocking on the door, a tall pony walked into the room.
"Miss Twilight," he began, "We have discovered the source of your troubles, and I must say, it seems grim. Very grim indeed."
The sudden news caught her by surprise. 'Did the tests finally bring back results?' Twilight began to wonder, 'what does he mean by grim?'
"Doctor, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. What did you find out?"
"Well," so he began, "you seem to have developed a fatal case of the Cutie Pox. I'm afraid you only have 3 weeks to live."
That struck Twilight like a ton of bricks. 'Three weeks!?' she thought, 'But I have so much I still need to do! And how will I-'
"Wait, did you say 'Cutie Pox'?"
At that moment, the "Doctor" ran out of the room, followed by an angry mob and one barking pony.
Twilight grabbed her pitchfork.
The Fuzzle Headache Chapter
Hey guys, who's up for some run on sentences I sure am but now that we're doing it it gets kinda boring let'ssmooshthewordstogethertooandseewhathappens
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The purple pony had just then decided to previously choose
Oh man my proof reader will hate me so much when she sees this chapter being full of errors and run-ons and other various things
Obligatory mention of the pony known as Rainbow Dash who also happens to be best pony
Up to this point I have had 3/6 of the mane 6 mentioned in the story and now Sweetie Belle shall be mentioned as well because I felt like it
Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma
Hey guys lets see how long I can keep this going for it could--
......
I woke up the next day with a rather large bump to the noggin. I then found a note attached to my forehead, it had the word "NO" written on it in large letters. This will be the final chapter dedicated to making my proof reader face-palm.
Return of the Pie
*Gulp*
We once again find ourselves following Pinkie Pie as she goes on her usual walk through Ponyville, greeting various ponies along the way. It was just an ordinary- IS SHE LOOKING THIS WAY!?
Okay, calm down. She just wanted to sniff the flowers, there is no possibility that she could know I'm controlling the story right now... Right?
Well anyway, Pinkie continued on her walk until she reached Sweet Apple Acres. There, she found Applejack who had just finished with bucking for the day. Pinkie bounced over, giving her usual energetic greeting:
"Hi Applejack! How are-- Ooooo, twitchy tail!"
Wait, what does she mean by twi- Ouch! Where did that pot come from?
"It's okay Applejack, it passed," she reassured the orange pony, who had ducked for cover moments ago.
"Well with that outta the way, what are you up to Pinkie?" Applejack asked, getting out from under the cart she had used as an impromptu shelter.
"Oh, just following the story wherever it takes me. You know how it is."
Applejack looked at her with some slight confusion, but decided to just pass it off as her "just being Pinkie Pie"
"Well," she began, "good luck with... Whatever it is you're doing."
"Thanks!" Pinkie replied, "Best be off, the author is starting to get nervous."
Oh no.
Pinkie continued on her merry way, leaving Applejack behind bewildered by her response. She-
"Oooooo," said Pinkie, "You're getting better at hiding! I almost didn't find a way in!"
The author vowed to himself to never follow Pinkie again.
A Series of Bad Fan Fictions
The Author Gets Bored
Today, we find ourselves following Rainbow Dash as she-
Wait, she's just reading a book? That's no fun.
Well, let's just move on to Twilight who-
...Is re-shelving, again.
Well, perhaps Rarity...
No, she's in Canterlot for the week and I don't want to travel that far.
Moving on to Applejack, as we find her bucking apples-
Wait, she's stuck in bed? Applejack can get sick?
Well then, off to Pink-
No, never again.
Oh look, the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Let's see what kind of antics they-
Wow, that had to hurt. I suppose they won't be getting up for a while.
Oh look, it's Derpy! Let's see what kind of crazy things she's up to! Such as-
Staring at a rock. It doesn't even seem that interesting, yet it has gotten her attention like it was a giant riding a unicorn.
Hmm, I'll have to put that idea in the messing with Twilight file.
Now then, back to Derpy. She continued to stare at the rock, despite strange looks given to her by passerby's. She continued to stare through snow, rain, sleet, and lightning. Nothing taking her gaze off the piece of geographic wonder.
You know, they should really get some pegasi sent out to better control the weather in the area, kinda crazy to see all that in a mere 12 minutes. Then again, I wonder if that was what brought Derpy this way in the first place?
It was then that a tall daffodil yellow pony walked up, and attempted to strike up a conversation...
"Tip! Tip! Cheerios! Good greetings and all that, what draws you to this here boulder? Wouldn't you be more interested in some... SPARKLERS!?" he asked, lit sparklers suddenly twirling through the air in a juggling act.
Derpy wasn't fazed.
Disappointed, the brown pony suddenly landed a drop kick onto the rock. Leaving it in pieces, he storms off.
Derpy proceeded to grab the muffin that was trapped underneath, and flew off happily.
Insomnia
Rainbow Dash was awake.
Why was this? She should have been asleep by now, and yet, it was as if some outside force was keeping her awake. She continued to stare at the ceiling for the next few minutes, trying to relax her body.
"What am I doing wrong?" she wondered, shifting positions in an attempt to relieve her of the situation.
It was then she felt a slight lump. She lifted up her cloud mattress, and noticed a green shell.
"Ah, so that's where Tank has been." she thought.
She then slept easily, all the previous troubles melting away. Everything was right in the world.
Tank was awake.
The Bad Music Chapter
That Winter...
"6 months of winter coolness, and awesome holidays~"
"We kept our hoovsies warm at home, time off from work to play~"
"But the food we've stored is running out, and we can't grow in this cold~"
"And even though I love my boots, this fashions getting old~"
THE TIME HAS COME TO WELCOME-
Oh come on, I may not be the best singer, but did everyone really have to run away?
Giant Riding A Unicorn
Augh! I said I was sorry, Twilight, I just thought it'd be entertaining! No no no, not the bees! Anything but the bees!
AHHHHH!
......
The author was stuck in the Ponyville hospital for the next two days. After being released, he crossed many ideas off of his list.
Author's Note
Just 4 stories this time, because laziness. Plus I've taken long enough on this chapter anyway.