Explorus Innuendous Colossus

The sun burned high above Ponyville as a certain white filly, out of breath and redfaced, made her way to the clubhouse.  Pausing before the door, she winced slightly, rubbing her hind legs together and feeling the heat and dampness there. Aggravated, she burst in to see her two best friends relaxing on the floor.

"Girls," she panted, "I really really REALLY need your help!" Her squeaky voice held panic, causing the other two Crusaders to rise to their hooves and gallop to her.

"Wh-what happened?!" Apple Bloom circled her friend, noting the wetness of her lower regions. "An' jus what the hay is that smell?"

"I don't know! I was out playing with Featherweight earlier-"

"You what? Why didn't you ask us to come?" Scootaloo asked, slightly hurt. Then her eyes opened wide. "Don't tell me you LIKE-"

Apple Bloom cut her off with a hoof wave. "That's not what's important! Right now, Sweetie's hurtin', and we need to help! We might even get our cutie marks," she added, upon seeing Scootaloo's disgusted face.

"Fine," Scootaloo sighed. "Alright, um...I guess, lay down."

Sweetie complied immediately, lying down on her back and splaying her legs out towards her friends. "It aches," she whimpered, looking up at them.

Apple Bloom took charge. Her eyes drifted downwards towards the wetness and the little nub she could see now; it hadn't been visible when Sweetie was standing. But laying prone like this, it was easy to see the problem and the solution. "How long has this been hurtin?"

Sweetie tried to think, a difficult task with the heat and throbbing down there. "Um...about two hours, I guess. It wasn't bad at first, and I could ignore it, but it just got worse and worse!  I can't let Rarity see me like this! Please help me, girls!" Sweetie punctuated her plea by reaching for her earth pony friend, eyes shining with need.

Apple Bloom just smiled at her unicorn friend before dipping her head to the wetness. Her nose crinkled slightly at the smell, but she put her mouth over the nub there anyway. Sweetie sighed and trembled slightly. "That feels...nice..."

She pulled the nub slightly. Scootaloo, wanting to help, lapped up the wetness from around the area, finding it didn't taste as bad as she expected.  Apple Bloom stopped a moment.

"This might hurt for a second." Sweetie squeaked and nodded. Apple Bloom reached down, and in a swift motion pulled the nub completely out. Sweetie yelped in pain before finally relaxing. Scootaloo continued licking the area, soothing the throbbing there.

Apple Bloom spit the thorn out to the side. "Landsakes, Sweetie, that's a heck of a thorn! What were you two playin'?"

"We were playing near the forest and my legs slipped into the river-I guess I fell on it. I couldn't see what was causing the pain! Thank you girls, so much."

They each whirled around to look at their own flanks.

Still blank.

"Aww, man..." Scootaloo moaned.