"HA HA HA! Pretty pony!" I said somewhat excitedly. I couldn't form the words I wanted to say, so my brain did the job for me.

God I wish I didn't take so many blows to the head after so many jobs. But, even if I have a tumor, at least I can find a nice comfy place and settle down. Maybe somewhere out in Wastelands of Africa? I didn't know how to contemplate.

As I think about this, I start hearing murmuring from the dark abyss of my mind. As I listen closer, I realize the voices were female.

'Probably waking up' I thought with annoyance.

As I listened to the talking, I couldn't help but over hear a few words.

"*muffle* dangerous monster!"

"*muffle* saved *muffle* life!"

"*muffle*...waking up."

At that very moment I opened my eyes. Probably should have done it slower. As they open, I'm blinded by white light. As the blurriness ends, I eventually make out blobs of colors; eventually becoming the ponies I spoke to earlier. With a new addition being the blue pegacorn-thing that had both wings and a horn.

"Please. *Groan* never do that...again." I stated as I started rubbing my head, finding that it was bandaged.

"Well now, at least you are okay." the blue pegacorn spoke.

"Who, and what the hell are you?" I asked.

Next thing I know, I'm face to face with a new pony that was wearing a purple helmet and had grey fur, but the detail I noticed the most was the yellow reptilian eyes.

"Watch your tongue creature!" it yelled in my face.

"Buddy. I'll give you one chance, and one chance only." I stated.

"Get the hell off me, before I take that helmet; and I shove it up your narrow ass."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY SCUM!?" it yelled back.

"Guard! That is enough." the pegacorn stated.

"But Princess!"

"No buts." she said while giving a glare, to which the asshole backed off.

"Now. To answer your question, I am Princess Luna; and I am an alicorn."

O...kaaay. I shake off the ridiculousness as I realize I haven't said anything to her.

"Alright, Luna, do you know where the hell I am?" I asked, I needed to know if I'm in Candy-land or some other place of madness.

"You are in the land of Equestria, and yes; that is very far away from your home." she said the last part like I was a bit slow.

"You do realize that I'm literate, right?" I asked, smirking while raising an eyebrow.

She seemed to blush, if that's even possible for a pony; though no one noticed.

"I...Er, sorry. The last human we had hear was...Well, not the brightest star in the sky." she said cautiously.

Well at least I'm not the first human to ever come here.

"Okay, one more question," I said as I raised one finger.

I then dawned a serious stare as I asked her said question.

"Is this Celestia I hear about a tyrant?" I asked.

Everyone in the room jaws' dropped as they stared at me and the Princess. She looked a tiny bit surprised, but not as surprised as everyone else.

'She's been asked this before.' I thought as it took her a minute to come up with an answer.

"My sister is the kindest, most understanding pony I will ever know." she said, the way she said it almost made me want to believe her; but the way she didn't react...

"And I suggest that you do not do what Discord wants you to do." she stated.

The guard from earlier immediately crouched into a combat stance, as all the others; except the one called Fluttershy, grew on a sneer as they all backed up. Well, aren't I the odd one out.

"I KNEW IT! SEE TWILIGHT! I TOLD YOU WE COULDN'T TRUST HIM!" the cyan pony with the gay pride hairdo yelled.

"MY LITTLE PONIES!" Luna yelled with a voice so powerful, it made me deaf for a few seconds.

Recovering, I noticed she was explaining something...

"MY LITTLE PONIES!" Luna said in the royal canterlot voice.

All the ponies stopped as they just stared at the Princess in shock.

"He may have been asked by Discord to do something, but that doesn't mean he HAS to do it." Luna deadpanned.

"How do we know he's not a spy!?" Rainbow said.

"He was asked by Discord because the last human that was here was asked by Discord, and; he actually attempted it."

"Umm, Princess? What exactly did the last human try to do?" Twilight asked with curiosity.

Luna faced Twilight, noticing the human's head lean in closer.

"The last human here almost assassinated my sister." Luna said with a sigh.

Immediately the human got up to a standing position, while at the same time the Princess's royal night guard charged towards him...

After hearing her talk about the assassination, I immediately noticed the reaction on the asshole's face, getting up cause I didn't want to be at a disadvantage; the guard charged. As he jumped in the air, most likely trying to tackle me.

Time stopped as I began to analyze my attacker.

The way he was in the air suggested he was going to do a downward dive tackle into my chest. He seemed to be attacking out of anger and loyalty than out of pure instinct. His sweat on his coat proved to be he was worried or suffering from anxiety. Finally, his breathing seemed to have increased when he leaped.

As time began to go again, I ducked down under him; punching him in his stomach and side. As he landed on his face, he got back up and began charging again. As I was going to roll out of the way, I noticed I was being lifted up. Looking up, I noticed the gay pegasus from earlier holding and lifting me up by my shoulders. I could tell she was straining.

Seeing the guard charging, and I couldn't move cause of the stupid gay pegasus; I deemed it was time to act serious.

Fun and games are over.

I grab onto the pegasus, surprising her and the guard. As he jumps into the air, I swing my arms down while still grabbing the pegasus. As the momentum and speed, plus by the pure surprise, I managed to throw her back directly into the guard.

As they collided, I hit the ground with a *THUD* as my boots connected to the hard wood. I look to see the guard and Skittles (decided to name her after that old candy wrapper) rubbing their heads after the collision. I cross my arms as I lean against a wall, watching. As Skittles and asshole get back up, they take another ready stance before Luna spoke with the voice of God again.

"WILL YOU ALL PLEASE! STOP! FIGHTING!"

I covered my ears, doing my best to stop the ringing and pain. As it dissipates again, I look back to see the asshole guard in one corner, an angry scowl on his face. I then turn to the group to see the pink pony comforting Skittles.

Luna glared at me.

I glared back.

This staring match lasted for what seemed like thirty-minutes. Finally, I decided to speak first.

"They attacked first, so don't blame me." I said with a shrug.

"Yes, but Rainbow and Star Storm were only provoked when YOU stood up."

"You act like I'm a prisoner; I'm not." I stated as we continued to glare at each other.

"*SIGH* I forgot how hard-headed your kind was." she said while shaking her head.

'I like her.' I thought as I smirked.

'She at least ain't a prissy Lil' bitch like the other Princesses I know. Wonder if she can help me?'

"Well, I gotta admit. This isn't the worst meeting I've ever had." I smirked with a shake of my head.

She looked at me quizzically, before developing a smile.

"Well your kind ARE from a dangerous world last time I heard." she said.

"True, how bout we start over? Name's Jacob." I said, reaching my hand out.

"Luna, Princess Luna." Luna extended her hoof.

As our hand/hoof shook we ended with a smile as we let go. As I looked back to the others, I noticed how shocked they were.

'Wonder if I should fuck with them?' I thought as I came up with a good joke.

But before I could say anything, I noticed the guard again. Still glaring, still being a total asshole. It was then I had to ask the question that was buggin me.

"You said there was a human here before? What was he like? Every detail could help." I said as I looked back towards Luna.

She seemed to shuffle a bit at this. Probably trying to find a polite way to say something.

"Well... You see, when he arrived he was good enough, but after twelve years of drinking; he changed. He became more violent, he snapped at everyone, and eventually he eventually tried to attack my sister." she said with sadness.

"No one knows if it was Discord's work, or if he just went mad."

"After the incident, Celestia banished him from Equestria; when I asked her where, she only said 'to the East' after that though. We started hearing stories of a monstrous warrior fighting all kinds of creatures. Hydras, manticores, timber wolves, kappas, even the death stalkers!" she put a lot of fear of the last one of the creatures.

"After that, he just vanished without a trace."

I stood for a long time, just staring into space. Finally, I asked her the final question.

"What did he look like?" I said, staring into her blue eyes.

She smiled as she reminisced about happier times I suppose. When she finally spoke, she seemed sad yet happy at the same time. If that's even possible.

"He had dark, dirty brown hair. He had a beard that went down to his neck, he also was wearing things called overalls and was a farmer from where he came." she said.

I was right. The last time there was a storm, I heard there was a charred body of a woman, but her husband was no where to be seen. Could it be that the electrical storm did the same thing to me like it did to him? If so, will I lose just like him? I could only shutter as I thought about the possibilities. My already dwindling sanity is enough to drive me to kill, but would I kill something like these ponies?

Jacob stood there for a long time. Luna noticed him shutter at one point, the silence was almost maddening. She noticed her guard had calmed down, but still had a glare on Jacob. She would have to discipline him when it came to the human. She noticed the five others were whispering too quietly to hear. She wondered where young Applejack was?

Her train of thought was broken however as there was a loud rumbling through the room.

*GRRRROOOOOOWWWLL*

All the ponies in the room immediately looked at Jacob.

"Uhh... Heh, guess I'm hungry..." Jacob said as he smiled bashfully.

Luna merely smiled, as did Twilight and Pinkie. So with a nod, Luna announced she would be off as she teleported herself and her guard back to Canterlot. As they did so, Jacob stared in shock.

"D-did they just tel-teleport!?" he yelled as he looked around frantically for any signs of the guard and Luna.

Twilight facehoofed, as did Rainbowdash. They could tell from the human staying, that this was going to be a very difficult thing to explain.

A few minutes later

Okay, so after my stomach growled again as I tried not to freak out too much after the whole teleportation and talk about magic; the rest of the ponies decided to leave, leaving me and the purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle.

"Uhhh... So, about that food." I said, not sure how to proceed with the conversation.

"Hm, oh! Right I am terribly sorry!" Twilight said in embarrassment.

"I'll have Spike get something for you, in the mean time I guess you could just read a book. But after you eat, do mind if I ask you a few questions?" she asked as she started walking out of the room into a very fancy kitchen.

'How the hell do you keep a kitchen this clean?' I thought as I saw how shiny and white the room was.

As I was about to ask, Twilight yelled very loudly.

"SPIIIIKE! Do you think you can fix Jacob some dinner?" she asked as she levitated a few scrolls and feathers.

"Okay Twilight, who-" as I turned to the sound of the new voice, I froze in place.

There, standing on the top of the stairs, was a giant, purple creature that I recognized from my world.

"GECKO!!!" I yelled as I flipped the nearest table and took cover.

As I drew my revolver, Twilight at that moment rushed into the room.

"What in the name of all that's Celestia is going on here!?" she yelled as she ran to me.

As I was about to tell her to take cover, the gecko screamed.

"ALIEN!" it yelled as it ran back to the room it was originally in.

It returned a few seconds later dressed in what looked like a apron. A very girly pink apron. As well as a bucket on it's head, and a broom in it's hands.

"Twilight! I'll save you!" it yelled as it jumped down the stairs swinging the broom at me.

Okay, what the fuck.

I ducked the first swing, grabbing the handle as I yanked it from it's grasp. I then barrel rolled to it's side as I kicked it across the room. Raising my hand, I aimed the gun right at the body of the mutated talking gecko.

"STTTOOOOOPP!" Twilight yelled as she levitated my gun from my hand.

I merely stared in utter stupidity, as Twilight ran towards the gecko.

"Spike! Spike! Are you alright!?" she asked as she frantically sat up the creature.

"Wh-what!?" I managed to yell as I stared at the two.

Twilight looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

"What did you do!?" she yelled in anger as I had to step back a little.

"ME!? You didn't tell me you had a man-eating mutated gecko in your home!!" I yelled.

She looked at me as though I just murdered Celestia, which is funny since I was gonna do that before I met Luna.

"What!? Spike isn't a gecko! He's a baby dragon!" she said as Spike laid up rubbing his head.

"Ugh, what happened." He said.

As his eyes stopped spinning; no idea how they did that, he spotted me before shaking fearfully. All that stopped however as Twilight comforted him.

"Spike; this is Jacob, he's gonna be living with us for a while..." Twilight said.

'Wait, since when did we agree that I would be living hear?' I thought.

As I noticed Spike giving me a glare, I decided now was probably the time to apologize.

"Look, uh; sorry for trying to kill you and all that. You kinda looked like a dangerous creature where I'm from." I said as I rubbed the back of my head.

His glare didn't let up, but it at least wasn't as intense as before. He grumbled as he walked into the kitchen. As I was about to say something, Pinkie burst into the room.

"Is that a cannon?" was all I was able to ask as she pulled the cord.

Next thing I knew I'm falling into unconsciousness, with the taste of cake in my mouth. Note to self, get a helmet; and maybe hire a therapist...

Author's Note

Okay! So, another chapter out. I'm on a role! Now, I need you all to vote for who shall fall in love with "Jacob". So here are the choices.

A. Luna
B. Applejack
C. Trixie
D. Celestia
E. Octavia
F. Twilight

So please pick from those choices. I don't really know how I'm gonna do this since this is my first time doing anything like this, but I guess leave your choice in the comments below, and the one with the most votes will win.