Life and Death

“How is she?” I inquire of a nurse at Ponyville General Hospital as I make my weekly visit.

The nurse sighs wearily before she can catch herself, doing her best not to become annoyed at me. I feel guilty, realizing that it must get tiring hearing the same question from countless ponies day after day. I can relate, often hearing the same questions about tax code, weather, etc. “As usual, your majesty,” she begins, “She is still declining, though the rate is slowing now. She doesn’t have much longer now.”

It can be extremely painful realizing that ponies must die while I live on forever. But I know that it’s the underlying truth: everypony that lives must die, except for those few of us cursed with the gift of immortality. Immortality would not be such a bad thing, in reality, if we didn’t have to watch those around us wither away.

I haven’t gotten as close to anypony as I have with Twilight Sparkle for centuries, if I ever have before. Watching my faithful student decay is watching a tragedy in motion, always hoping that it will not come to its inevitable end, death, the only weakness of the protagonist being mortality itself. But I know that it is not meant to be. All good things must come to an end.

Don’t they? I know that this experience should not be anywhere near as painful as it was for Cadance to lose Shining Armor. But that does not make the pain any easier to bear. Why must some die while others live on forever? I just do not know anymore.

***

“Hello, Twilight,” I say as I enter the room of the pony that I hold dear second only to Luna. Perhaps even more dear, I would dare to think; Twilight Sparkle is like a daughter to me, and no matter how great the bond of sisters can be, it is nothing compared to that of a mother and child. I love her so much, too much to see her go. It is as bad as it was sending Luna to the moon back on that familiar day, but, as it was then, there aren’t always choices.

Twilight clears her throat, readying her airways to allow for speech, which is becoming so difficult. “I’m doing alright, Princess. It’s good to see you. It’s nice to have visitors. It’s not like I have very many left…” She pauses, a distant gaze in her eyes as she recalls the better times, when she was young and her friends were still here with her. “Just the same old same old happening around here. There’s a new doctor taking care of me. Says that he’s a geriatric specialist. It sounds funny, being called old. I’ve never really felt it until recently. I’ve always felt young. But now even that is gone…”

“I heard about the specialist being sent in.” I had a hoof in on it. “How is he doing?”

“He’s nice enough.”

“Good.” I pause. “I hope that they can help you, Twilight. I don’t know what I would do without you…” I hear my voice break and immediately stop speaking. I hope that there are no tears in my eyes, for while I normally wouldn’t mind showing my student my emotions, I would not want to upset her; besides, the whole hospital is watching my every move. Anyway, Twilight has too much to deal with without her teacher breaking. Luckily, she doesn’t seem to have noticed.

“You’ll be fine, Princess! I know that you will.” She coughs, having difficulty catching her breath. I hate seeing her like this. I hate that she’s in pain. “I’m not the first pony to die.” She speaks of death as she speaks of anything else; like it’s nothing, like she’s ready, as always, to face whatever lies ahead. I don’t know whether I would be that strong. Taking care of my little ponies has always been too precious to me. And that only makes it harder to see my faithful student decline.

But alas, that’s how it has to be. “You’re right, Twilight. But you are a special pony to me. As you know, it always is difficult to see ponies that are special to us pass on.” I cannot bring myself to say the word ‘die’. I just find myself unable to speak it, like it’s a taboo. “But I know you are right.” But I am not happy about it.

“So how are you, Princess Celestia?” She looks at me expectantly.

“Oh? I’m alright. Just the average matters of state, nothing special.” I muster up a small smile; it feels like a lie.

“Good. I hope that you’ve been taking care of yourself. Luna seemed a bit concerned about you the last time that she visited.”

“I’m fine.” I shift my weight a little, feeling guilty for worrying my sister. “I just have been trying to do a little too much in too short of a time, lately. But I’m getting things done, which is what matters to Equestria.”

“Yes, but you have to worry about yourself sometimes. It doesn’t do Equestria any good if their princess overworks herself.” She has a stern look on her face until it fades into a smile of amusement.

“I’m not overworking myself. I’m just keeping busy.”

“Uh huh,” she says, skeptical. A doctor enters the room and looks at me, seeming surprised to see his princess at this specific time and place. Must be the new guy. I wonder what he needs, until I look at the clock. Visiting hours are over. I knew that I had made it in late, but I thought I would have a little more time with my student. The doctor sees that there is understanding between us and exits the room for a moment, waiting on me to leave before speaking to Twilight.

***

There has to be something that I can do for Twilight. There just has to be some way that I am overlooking. Immortality exists, so there must be some way that it can be obtained. My mother was not immortal, she just passed the trait onto future alicorns. I just don’t know what I could possibly do without Twilight. But unless I can figure something out, her passing is inevitable.

This brings me to a dilemma: is it right for me to extend her life, if possible, or would it be cruel of me to make her live on without her friends? I guess it will have to come to me asking her, should I figure out some solution. I suppose I should wait and cross that bridge when I come to it. I sit here in my chambers, lost in thought and wondering if there’s anything that I have encountered in all of my years that might be of aide in this matter. Suddenly, I remember reading of a spell, or something of the like, once, long ago. I do not remember where. Was it in a book, in the archives, in my personal collection? I guess I have no choice but to begin searching if I wish to locate it.

My first, and hopefully only, stop is my own personal books shelves. I can only hope that the book is here, right in front of my face, otherwise I could be searching all over Equestria and Twilight could pass while I am away. No. That’s the last thing that I would want. If Twilight is going to die, then I need to be there to see it, or else I will refuse to believe it and blame everyone around me, and myself, for failing to save my faithful student, my precious friend. But for now, all there is left to do is search. And hope.

I look through the numerous books on my towering shelves. Surely I would have kept something of such importance. Right? But I don’t remember the title, or the cover, or even the content beyond the passage about the technique. How can you locate a spell if you don’t know where to search? I could ask Luna… No, I cannot. She would worry about me obsessing over Twilight and try to stop me. I want to at least try. It’s the least that I can do for my student, who has done so much for me.

I begin going through each book one by one, skimming through just to get an idea of the information that each one holds, trying to find the logical ones to search more thoroughly. Poems of the Griffon Kingdom, no, that can’t be it. Supernaturals: Natural Cures That are Super, worth a shot. No, nothing there. Drat. Legends of Old: Nightmare Moon and Other Tales also worth a shot. Also nothing there. Time seems to creep by at the speed of a snail. I look at the clock. I’ve been at this for hours now. Nothing. The Elements of Friendship by Twilight Sparkle, a lovely book, but not what I’m needing at the moment. Nothing again. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing! Why isn’t there anything! I need to find it! Time could be running out as I sit here and search! Books are strewn everywhere across the room. I need to find it!

Suddenly, a title jumps out at me: Mystics and Magics: A Spell Book Across the Ages. That’s it! I’ve found it. I open the book and flip through frantically. I find the page on immortality and begin to read. It is said that an immortal can share the gift of immortality with one soul that walks the planet. It is said that the immortal must share their magic with the pony in question. There is no way of telling if this is true, because immortals are few and far between and have more important things to do than test a theory on a random pony, therefore wasting the spell entirely. Share magic? That sounds simple enough. I’m sure that there is a spell for that easy enough to find. Unicorns often give their children a jump start on their magic lessons by giving their magic a small augment. Quantity must be the factor, as an immortal, or at least an alicorn, has magic no different than any other pony.

All that’s left now is to wait for tomorrow to come so that I can visit Twilight and tell her the news.

***

I enter Twilight’s room with the permission of a nurse. I was told that it was alright for me to enter so long as I did my best not to upset her. Well, what I must say may upset her, but it is just as likely to cheer her. I hope that she is open to the idea. If she isn’t, well, I’ll just have to figure some way out to live without her. I suppose that would be the healthiest thing, but if I can share my immortality with only one pony, that pony would be Twilight Sparkle. I just cannot let her go. “Good evening, Twilight. I trust that you are still well?”

“Hello, Princess Celestia, I wasn’t expecting to see you today! But I’m glad that you came. Yes I am doing alright.” She perks up and watches me, eyes attentive. “If I may ask, what brings you here today?”

“First of all, can I not visit my most faithful student as often as I wish?” I raise an eyebrow jokingly.

“Of course you are, silly. It’s just unusual is all.” She coughs.

“I also have a proposal.” I begin to pace across the room. “I do not know whether I can see you go, Twilight. You are so very dear to me.” I sigh. “I may be able to keep you alive, should you wish. There is a chance that an old spell might work. However, it is up to you whether we attempt it or not, as I do not wish to keep you here if you want to go.”

“Why, Princess, you know that I’d love to be able to spend more time with you and Spike, learning about the secrets of the universe. But it’s not possible, is it?”

“It may be.” I stop my pacing and look at Twilight. “I cannot give you any guarantees, but I found a way that I might be able to share my immortality with you. It just might work, and I cannot see the harm that could come from it if it does not.”

“How would you go about doing that?” She looks at me curiously, like a foal looks as it is learning about the world for the first time.

“If you except, I will attempt to share my magic with you.”

“Well, if you think that it might work, Princess, I’d love to give it a shot!” There is a gigantic grin on her wrinkled face. Oh, how I miss seeing her young and healty!

“Alright then. I will see about taking you out of the hospital to attempt the process. For good measure, we’ll stop and see Spike, in case the spell does fail. It’s not like he can visit you here anymore.”

“I’d like that.”

I leave the room and check her out of the hospital, promising the staff that I will return her before this time in two days. My little ponies wouldn’t dare question their princess’s judgment. It’s a little sad, really. They feel as though they don’t have a choice around me. All ponies have a choice, but sometimes it can help get your way when you hold a position of power. I don’t like to pull the royalty card very often, but in cases like this, it does come in handy. Anyway, I return to her room and help her to her feet. I hate seeing how wobbly she is on her legs, even just standing there. But I guess that there is nothing I can do but try the last card in my deck to keep her alive and hope for the best. Our first stop will be to visit Spike.

“When we visit Spike,” I begin, “it will probably be best not to tell him about our plans. I would not like to get his hopes up just to have them shattered in front of him.”

“Alright, Princess. I’m sure that you’re right.” She smiles sadly. “It’s been forever since I last saw him. I almost hate for my number one assistant to see my like this.”

“If you are to pass, it will give him closure to have seen you one last time beforehand.” I hate saying that there is a chance that this will not work, but alas, the chance is there. There is no reason to hide that from Twilight.

She sighs in acknowledgement. I guess she isn’t as ready to welcome death as I previously had thought. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it can work in my favor. No, this shouldn’t be for me, it should be for Twilight. I hope that I will not hold her back for the sake of my greed.