This Title Sucks

Spoof

"Muahahahahahhahaha." John laughed evilly as he left the Everfree leaving a horrible mess behind him with his army of creatures. "First stop Ponyville TO DESTROY THEM ALL!!!!" He shouted back to his army which roared in response. On the front lines were to manticores, behind them an army of trees. Scattered throughout the army were dozens of Hydras and Ursa Majors and Minors.

Twilight Sparkle and the Princesses heard the mighty roar all the way to Canterlot. "Oh no that was coming from the Everfree I hope John's okay." Celestia said worriedly. Luna walked to the balcony and did a magnifying spell to see John and his army destroy the small town of Ponyville. "I think John is leading the charge actually." Luna said quietly.

"But HOW?" Celestia shouted as she rushed towards the balcony and did the same spell Luna did. She saw Ponyville falling to a few mighty swipes of the Ursa Majors. "T-Thats impossible. NOW ONE HAS EVER TAMED SUCH CREATURES BEFORE. Twilight, quick, get the elements as much as I hate to say it we have to imprison John." Twilight was... shaken to say the least, but she nodded her head and rushed to get the others.

John was in a happy mood. Hearing the screams of the ponies he despised so well. "NOW MY ARMY" He shouted so all could hear. "WE SHALL NOW STORM CANTERLOT!!!" A roar went up again as the creatures got back into formation and ran towards the capital.

Upon arriving they were meet with heavy resistance from the guards but they were easily scattered or killed when the Ursa Majors came. The guards, after a few minutes of being beaten senseless, retreated and all that was left were six very familiar mares all adorning necklaces except for one wearing a tiara.

They tried their best trying to reason with John. Rarity tried the hardest.

"Why are you doing this? For the few days we left you alone you managed to amass an army the size of two Canterlots put together. Why?" She repeated asking why over and over again before John had enough.

"Shut your fucking mouth and listen up." That silence all of them. "I am tired of all of this. I just wanted a quiet place to think about things and I swear to the Gods if you ask about what I was thinking about I will rip off your heads and put them on a pike outside of the Palace before I attack it." He glared at each one thinking what their heads would be like on a pike. Maybe he could fit it loosely so it wobbled in the wind. "Each time ponies came after me thinking I was a monster. Especially three young fillies." They all tensed up knowing that the Cutie Mark Crusaders disappeared a day before John started the attack. "They made wonderful trophies." That made their blood turn to ice. They no longer had sympathy for the man, neigh, MONSTER standing in front of them. "The thing is though. I found something in the Castle of the Pony Sisters. It was a book and described in GREAT detail how to block the Elements of Harmony." Their blood ran even colder. Thinking that if he could stop the greatest weapon that Ponykind created like it was nothing other than a pesky fly.... No they had to try.

"We won't let you continue any longer!" They shouted in unison as they rose their eyes turning white.

John smiled knowing that he faced certain death, but that book would save him. "EX FIDE FORTIS!" (FROM FAITH COMES STRENGTH) John shouted and his complete faith in the book came poring out of him erecting a shield of pure light. The rainbow beam hit the shield head on and John felt it weakening "NO!" he shouted and gritted his teeth, "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS!" John then realized it turned to night. John smirked before shouting "EX UMBRA IN FORTIS(FROM SHADOW INTO STRENGTH)" the darkness of the night went towards the shield empowering it with Luna's night.

The Mane Six were getting tired from holding the beam up for so long and Fluttershy fell from the air, cutting of the magical flow. They all plummeted to the ground, but there was a flash of light as Celestia and Luna teleported them to the room they were in. "Did you get him?" Luna asked.

"I think so." Twilight said. Then a roar of anger followed by "I... am.... going..... TO KILL YOU!!!!" John's voice reverberated through the castle. The doors to the throne room gave way as John burst through with utter anger on his face. The door flew farther than he had intended to and hit Rainbow Dash square in the chest crushing her ribcage and lungs as Rainbow hit the ground. Her death was instantaneous. "EXEUNT!" (THEY LEAVE) he shouted waving his hands to six of the remaining mares alive. The six felt the sudden urge to leave and, despite their protests, their legs obeyed the command John had given leaving only Celestia.

"Et tu, John? (You too, John?) " Celestia asked.

John just nodded his head and crouched down ready for a magical and physical fight as he left his army to deal with the rest of the guards. Celestia bathed the area in light which John replied with an "Ex solem in umbra." (From light into shadows) which darkened the area. John didn't see though that Celestia was close enough to impale him with her horn as she did just that.

John gasped in pain as the sword like horn pierced through the chest and lungs. John reached towards her immediately, grabbed her horn and pulled. With a SNAP and Celestia's cry of pain her horn came off while still inside of him. John took it out and charged forward plunging the horn into her heart. "I am sorry sweet Celestia." he whispered into her ear and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. He let go of the horn and she fell to the ground convulsing. The moon was not out anymore. There wasn't anything out their anymore! John looked around frantically seeing nothing but whiteness. John saw it turn dark and felt as if he was lying down. Something soft was brushing against his arms. It was.... Grass? He opened his eyes and saw he was in the Everfree forest.

'So it was all a dream?' John thought. 'That horrible nightmare... was a dream? No way it felt way to real.' He looked around and saw no army of creatures around him just grass and trees. 'Well then that was one FUCKED UP DREAM!' as he got up and brushed himself off. He heard a roar behind him. It sounded like one of the manticores from his dreams. It was coming straight for him!