A Delivery Needs Delivering'ed
Derpy Hooves struggled to lift herself over the ledge. Her forelegs strained to bear her weight as she pulled herself up and dragged herself quite unceremoniously along the ground, seeking a safe distance from the edge. She lay panting for a few moments – letting the pain burn itself from her muscles – and took the moment to admire her accomplishment. At last she was at the top. There had been struggles, and there had been plenty of derps along the way. But here she was; the intrepid explorer victorious at last. The ground was soft, springy even – certainly not made of gravel. She found strength once again and raised herself with triumph. The pegasus pulled some of the soft material from the mountain’s surface and took a sampling bite. Satisfied with its contents, she opened up her mailbag and from its depths pulled out a flagpole; complete with a gray triangular flag adorned with a set of seven bubbles. As the flag flapped gracefully in the wind, she jammed the pole into the spongy surface of the mountain.
“I, the Great and Powerful Derpy Hooves, claim this great muffin mountain for Derpopolis, and dub this mountain…er..uh…Muffin Mountain!” Derpy chirped. Suddenly there were dozens – no, hundreds – of cheering ponies. Their great, roaring applause were only matched by the flashes of cameras capturing this glorious moment for all of Equestria to see. The camera flashes were bright, and becoming more frequent, to the point that they began to blind the mailmare. Derpy Hooves took in a last breath of triumph as the entire world around her faded to white, and felt warm sun on her face.
Derpy stirred a bit, before finally opening her eyes and accepting consciousness. She raised her forelegs above her head, extended her wings and gave a great big stretch coupled with a soft yawn. The patchy blankets slowly slid off the bed, revealing the seven bubbles adorning her flank. When her stretching was finished, she sat up gently rubbing her eyes, and then leaned over to open the curtains. The sunlight poured into her bedroom full force. The warmth seemed to permeate Derpy’s very soul, and she took a moment enjoy the peacefulness before hopping up and happily trotting over to the bathroom.
While humming her favorite tune, Derpy Hooves grabbed her brush and began brushing her blonde mane, her gray coat and her teeth before she realized that hairbrushes were for hair and toothbrushes were for teeth, and decided to revise her hygiene strategy with a giggle. Upon exiting the washroom, she turned on the record player. Derpy pulled out two records from the rack, pausing to decide which one would be good to start the day: the classical orchestral music of the famed earth pony musician Octavia, or the driving bass-heavy beats of the techno guru Vinyl Scratch. At last she concluded that neither could match the mood she was going for, and instead opted for a record by her own personal friend and roommate Lyra Heartstrings, whose light lyre melodies, coupled with acoustic guitar filled the pegasus with a sense of calm joy. She gently placed the needle on the spinning album and smiled as the perky music filled the air.
The mare trotted down the hall, stopping by her roommates’ bedroom. “Good morning Lyra and Bon Bon!” she cheered happily.
Lyra slowly sat upright and Bon Bon stirred. “Oh my Celestia, what time is it?” Lyra asked groggily.
Bon Bon peaked through her heavy eyelids at the clock on the bedside table. “Ugggghhhhh, it’s five-thirty in the morning.”
“Derpy, what kind of a pony are you? The sun’s barely up” complained the aquamarine unicorn.
“Agggghhh, she’s a morning pony!” Bon Bon groaned, as if Derpy were some sort of monster.
“Let’s just go back to bed, babe.”
“Splendid idea,” Bon Bon sighed to her marefriend, who sank back into the covers to cuddle with the cream colored earth pony.
“Good morning, Derpy” Lyra said at last to their gray colored friend.
“Yea, good morning.”
Derpy giggled. “I’ll have breakfast ready for when you sleepyheads finally get out of bed.”
“Thank…you…” a now half-conscious Bon Bon replied before succumbing to splendid sleep once again.
After finishing the pancakes and placing them on a plate ready for Lyra and Bon Bon – minus the one she managed to flip clear over her head and onto the floor, which she ate herself as to save anypony else the trouble – she flipped her mailbag over her back and headed out the door.
Outside, Derpy was met with a delightful morning atmosphere. The air was still cool from the night before and the birds were chirping happily. Above, a few of the other pegasus ponies were already clearing the sky for the day ahead. Ponies were tending to their gardens and trotting happily to their jobs. Derpy stretched her wings and gave a gentle hop from the ground. She took to the air and when she reached a satisfying altitude over the houses of Ponyville, started gliding to her destination. Beneath her, the fillies were already out playing – not a surprising sight considering that this was a beautiful summer day, perfect for the childhood adventure. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were racing along the ground using only their forelegs in an attempt to earn circus-pony cutie marks.
At last, Derpy reached her destination. Right on the edge of the town square was her own place of work: the Ponyville Post Office. It wasn’t the grandest place to work, but it was like home to Derpy. Having only a cutie mark that exemplified her own bubbliness, she didn’t really have any great talents. But when the post office was the first place to actually accept an application from the ditzy pegasus, she vowed to give her job one hundred percent effort. It may have been a humble career, but she took pride in knowing that she was a productive member of her community instead of just a burden. Mail was important!
Below, a fellow employee lazily walked up to the door. Derpy glided down beside the mare and landed next to her. The gold colored pegasus sporting an aquamarine mane and a trio of water droplets as a cutie mark turned to talk to Derpy.
“Morning Derpy.”
“Good morning Raindrops!”
“You seem pretty chipper today. Were there extra marshmallows in your cereal this morning?”
Derpy, seemingly oblivious to the sarcasm, responded happily, “Nope! It’s just a beautiful day,” Raindrops put a hoof to her face. “And I can’t wait to deliver ponies their mail.” Derpy smiled.
“Ugh. I can’t believe you actually like this job,” said Raindrops as they entered the door to the post office. They entered another door on the side of the room to make their way to the back of the building.
“I like seeing the happy faces of ponies when they get gifts and letters and stuff.” talking about it just made Derpy more and more excited to get the day started.
“Yes, until you give them their bills. Granny Smith at Sweet Apple Acres actually threw a horse shoe at me the other day, did you know that? Sweet apples my flank! A huge one too.” Raindrops spread her hooves apart to demonstrate the size of it. “It must have belonged to that big hunky stallion they got workin’ on that apple farm…” she sighed, twirling her mane with a hoof.
Derpy untied the stacks of mail waiting inside the mailroom, and began stuffing envelopes inside her mailbag. “I can take the deliveries to the Apple farm from now on if you want me to Raindrops. Granny Smith knows me a little bit better.”
“Deal,” replied Raindrops, stuffing a hoofful of envelopes addressed to Sweet Apple Acres inside Derpy’s bag “The profit from their latest shipment is in here. I don’t even care if it’s good news or bad news. Whether they have a profitable year or don’t, it’s all on your saddle now. I’m not taking any more shoes to the head. Although I will miss getting to wink at that hunk of a farmer.” Raindrops playfully hoofed Derpy in the side. “Speaking of hunky stallions, when are you gonna find yourself a colt, hm?”
Derpy’s face reddened. “Oh um…well you know I don’t have much time for colts anyway…” she trailed off, trying to hide her face.
“Oh come on! There’s gotta be somepony out there who’s caught your eye!” Derpy turned redder than a tomato.
“Not at the moment…”
Raindrops gave a disappointed “Hmph” at missing out on potential gossip. “Well when you dooo find somepony, don’t hesitate to let me know. I can be your wingmare!” she said as she extended her wings swiftly, startling Derpy and sending her toppling over a stack of mail.
Derpy giggled at her own clumsiness. “Derp!” she chirped, crossing her eyes in her usual way when she did something silly.
The sun now hung higher above the horizon, and Derpy was making her way through the morning rounds of mail. With a mailbag full of envelopes, she soared just over the houses. She enjoyed flying close to the ground instead of high up in the air so she could be close to her beloved town. Ponyville was small, but there was still plenty of hustle and bustle in everyday life. And it could be said that there was never a dull day there. Derpy had been born and raised in Ponyville, and had rarely ventured out of it to another town. The only other place she had lived was Cloudsdale for flight school.
“Hey Derpy!.....Derpy!....Deeeerrrrpppyyyy, heeeeeey!” In her daydreaming, Derpy had not noticed the young filly running along the ground beneath her, calling her name. She waved from above before gliding down to meet the young pony.
“Hi Dinky! Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” Derpy said playfully while mussing up Dinky’s hair. The filly was almost a spitting image of Derpy, save for the slight change in coat color and the fact that Dinky was a unicorn and not a pegasus. Dinky looked up to Derpy Hooves in a similar way that Scootaloo looked up to Rainbow Dash.
“No school silly! It’s summer!” Dinky chirped, hopping into the air with glee.
Derpy looked around at the weather and said “Oh huh, I guess it is!” before giggling with the filly beside her. Derpy turned and continued making her way to the Apple farm, and Dinky followed beside her, having to gallop to keep up with Derpy.
“So didja hear? My idea was chosen for the school play! We’re gonna start rehearsing it next week!” Dinky cheered.
“Wow! That’s great Dinky! What was the play about?”
“It’s gonna be about this one pony who goes to Manehattan, and learns a bunch of new stuff, and learns to be friends with all different types of ponies there! And it’s gonna be a comedy!” Dinky yelled, her excitement overpowering her volume control.
“Wow that sounds like a great idea!” Derpy pointed to Dinky’s flank. “Maybe you’ll get a playwriting cutie mark or something.”
The filly turned to examine her flank turning around and around to get a look. “Wow, ya mean it?!”
“Or maybe you’ll be an actor pony!”
Dinky hopped about around Derpy and said, “Or…or maybe an opera pony!” Derpy stood on her hind legs and pretended to sing the high note of an opera, causing Dinky to enter a fit of bubbly giggling.
The pair continued playing together on the road; hopping around each other, imitating famous actor ponies, and pretending to be celebrities. After a while, they neared the gate of Sweet Apple Acres at last.
“Well, Dinky, you should head back now. It’s lunch time, and I bet your mom already has sandwiches made sitting ready for you,” Derpy said while hopping into the air and taking flight.
“Okay Derpy. I’ll see ya later!” Dinky chirped before turning and galloping back towards the center of town.
Derpy stepped up to the front porch of the Apple family home and gave the door a few knocks. She waited for a few moments, admiring the humble home. She turned around and gazed down the steps toward the lawn and the road leading back to Ponyville. Derpy breathed in the sweet air, enjoying the atmosphere.
A caramel colored earth pony with a brown mane opened the door behind her, and coughed to get the mare’s attention. When she turned around, the colt stiffened.
“Uh…” Derpy stammered, feeling her face grow warm. She expected someone who lived at the farm to open the door. The pony in front of her, she knew lived next to the Carousel Boutique, and that his name was Caramel.
“Yes?” Caramel said after a moment.
“I…um…I have mail” She turned to show the mailbag strapped over her back.
“Oh…uh…come in I guess.” Caramel stepped to the side allowing Derpy inside.
A few moments passed without words. Derpy did her best to hide her red face from the colt and pretended to admire the interior decorations of the Apple family home. She noticed Caramel standing stiff as a board. Derpy knew that not everyone in town had a very high opinion of her. There had been times when she’d been called names behind her back. Most ponies thought there was something wrong with her. Her clumsiness and spacey nature had earned her the attitude, not to mention the occasions she would go wall-eyed when she was spaced out. Derpy never minded other ponies’ attitude toward her however, because she knew that the ponies that actually knew her didn’t seem to have any problem being her friends. Lyra, Bon Bon, Raindrops, and Dinky saw past the cross-eyed exterior.
But Derpy knew that not all ponies would be so friendly, and Caramel was the prime example. For some reason, every time she was near him he would tense up. Caramel hardly ever spoke a word to her and acted as if he didn’t know her at all. When they passed on the street, he would look straight ahead and ignore her, or turn his head away altogether. A few times she had tried to wave out of friendliness, but was always met with a straight-ahead stare, so she gave up.
Eventually, Derpy started hiding from Caramel altogether, instead opting for stealing a glance of him at a distance. She knew he was a friendly pony, and helped his neighbors out on several occasions – even going so far as to help pull a carriage for his neighbor Rarity all the way to Canterlot for the Grand Galloping Gala.
Suddenly, Derpy became conscious of her spacing out, causing her eyes to split into different directions, and quickly snapped them back forward, praying Caramel hadn’t seen. If he had, he didn’t show it. Derpy realized that they had just been standing there for a while now and asked, “Um…so…who do I give the mail to?” Caramel was a cousin to the Apple family, and must have been visiting. But she wasn’t sure whether he took their mail or not.
“Oh. Uhh…gr- GRANNY!” he shouted up the stairs. No reply. “GRANNY!” he hollered louder this time.
After a few more moments, Granny Smith called back “What?!”
“Der- ah, the mail pony’s here!”
“What?!”
“MAIL’S HERE GRANNY!” he yelled up the stairs, turning a bit red with what Derpy believed to be the strain of yelling.
“Ohhh! Tell her if she flirts with my Big Macintosh again, I’ll throw another horseshoe at her head!” Granny Smith shouted down the stairs.
Caramel’s blush instantly faded as all the blood drained from his face, causing him to turn pale. Derpy would have noticed had she not been trying to hide her own blush as well.
“That darned mailmare, always tryin’ to flirt with every stallion that walks by!” Granny Smith stepped around the corner at the top of the stairs.
After a few more painfully awkward moments, the old lime green earth pony slowly climbed down the stairs and met the pair inside the kitchen. “Well, uh. I’m gonna go see what Big Mac’s doing,” Caramel said, walking quickly to the door. Derpy presumed he wanted to get away from her as fast as possible.
“Oh, it’s just you, Derpy. I thought you were that darned Raindrops again.” Granny Smith said in relief. “Hi…Derpy…how…are…you?” she said slowly to the blonde pegasus.
Derpy tilted her head a bit, unsure of why Granny Smith was talking so funny. “I’m good! I have mail for you!”
“That’s…nice...What…is…it?”
“Um. It’s…about…your…latest…apple…shipment,” Derpy replied, playing along with Granny’s manner of speech. She opened the mailbag with her teeth and pulled out a letter. “Hrr yrr gmph,” the muffled mailmare said, giving Granny Smith the letter.
“Okey, dokey. Now, let’s see what it says,” Granny said before tearing at the envelope with her lips. Having no teeth made it difficult. As she struggled with the letter, Derpy noticed the horse shoe lying on the counter next to elderly lime-colored pony. Derpy’s heart rate grew, fearing that she too would suffer from Granny Smith’s rage as Raindrops had.
At last Granny Smith – somehow – managed to open the envelope and began perusing the documents in her hooves. A bead of sweat trickled down Derpy’s forehead, and she felt her heart thumping harder in her chest. She backed away from Granny as slowly as possible while the old mare scanned for profit numbers.
“Oh, well look at that. We did pretty well this season.” Derpy let out a relieved sigh. “See…Derpy?...We…did…good…thank…you!”
“No problem Granny Smith!” Derpy chirped as she headed to the door. “Have a nice day!”
“You…too…Derpy!” Derpy exited the door and took flight down the road to Ponyville. Granny Smith remained in the kitchen. “What a nice pony. Maybe if she were a little smarter, I’d let her date Big Macintosh,” Granny mumbled. Suddenly her ears perked up, listening to a nonexistent noise. She hollered, “MACINTOSH! ARE YOU TALKIN’ TO THAT RAINDROPS AGAIN?! WHERE’S MAH HITTIN’ SHOE?!”
Outside the Apple home, amongst the apple trees, Derpy floated back to Ponyville. Ahead, she saw Caramel sitting against one of the apple trees, holding a sunflower. She watched as he plucked the petals off the flower one by one. His brown mane blew gently in the soft breeze. Derpy observed as his sky blue eyes stared transfixed on the petals of the flower. He appeared to be mumbling something, but Derpy couldn’t hear. She didn’t realize she stopped moving forward and was just floating there, staring at this oblivious earth pony.
With the flower close to his face, eyes almost crossed to keep it in focus, Caramel pulled off the final petal. Behind the petal, he refocused and finally saw Derpy watching him. He shot up from the ground and stuffed the remainder of the sunflower in his mouth.
“Snack,” Caramel blurted after swallowing the flower almost whole. He turned and galloped away. Derpy’s heart sank as he ran away from her yet again, and her face grew hot with the realization that she had been staring at him. Shaking her head to cast off her embarrassment, she continued on toward Ponyville.
“Dear Princess Celestia
Sometimes, a pony may find that they don’t have certain talents or abilities that they wish they could have. But I’ve learned that hard work, perseverance, and believing in yourself can help you be great at whatever you want to accomplish. And that sometimes, it’s not the talented ponies that succeed, but instead it’s the ponies without the talent, for they are the ones who have to put in the hard work, dedication, and passion into what they do. And with those things, a pony can never fail.
-Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle”
“So, you really think that you could do better magic if you weren’t as talented as you are?” Spike asked.
“Well, I can’t lie, I am glad my magic is working like normal again,” Twilight Sparkle replied to her assistant, “but I did learn some valuable lessons this week. I’ll never take my magic for granted again!”
Spike giggled. “I’ll send this to the princess right away!”
“Yes please Spike,” Twilight began, before being interrupted by the doorbell. “Oh, that might be my new textbooks! Can you go get that for me while I go fix up lunch?”
“Sure thing, Twi!” Spike said as Twilight turned toward the kitchen.
Derpy Hooves dragged the box along the ground, switching strategies for getting the massive thing moving. The cardboard box was as big as Derpy Hooves herself and felt like it was full of lead. She tried carrying it, but was far too much of a strain for her wings and truthfully, she couldn’t even stay aloft with the package weighing her down. Then the mailmare tried dragging it along the ground behind her, and then attempted to drag it while walking backwards. Finally she opted for just pushing it forward. It was a slow pace, but at least she was able to get the thing moving. She pushed it two feet at a time, taking several seconds in between to catch her breath. Nopony could deny that she didn’t work hard at her job.
Eventually, Derpy managed to get the box in front of the library. She gave a great heave and slid the package another few feet before collapsing and trying to catch her breath.
“Just…a…few…more…feet…” Derpy said in between gasps for air. She heard somepony talking through the open window in the library, but couldn’t hear it over her own panting. The pegaus hopped back to her hooves and readied herself for one final push. Pushing her head against the cardboard and her hooves against the tiled sidewalk, she struggled to move the heavy package forward. Derpy frantically flapped her wings to help give her a little extra forward momentum. At last the box gave in and slid the last few feet up to the door of the library.
Filled with triumph, Derpy ignored the exhaustion and got ready to ring the doorbell. Inside the window she heard somepony talking again.
“I’ll send this to the Princess right away!”
“Yes please, Spike,” Derpy pressed the button on the doorbell. ““Oh, that might be my new textbooks! Can you go get that for me while I go fix up lunch?”
“Sure thing, Twi!”
The front door swung open to reveal a small, purple baby dragon holding a rolled up scroll. Derpy had met Spike a few times before, mostly when delivering mail to the library. His eyes grew wide upon discovering the size of the box. “Is this whole thing…filled with books?” Spike asked the mailmare, who nodded gravely.
“Oh, jeez! Lemme help you with that, Derpy!” Spike hurried out the door, and set the scroll by the path. The pony and the dragon positioned themselves behind the behemoth of a package and slid it over the door threshold into the library. Derpy noted how much easier it was with two pushing it instead of herself. At last the box was inside the tree-building and spike used his claw to cut open the wrapping tape and opened the box. He picked up a few of the books and made to go set them on the shelves. “I can handle these from here, thanks for delivering this Derpy! It couldn’t have been fun pushing this thing all the way from the post office.”
Derpy waved his comment away, “No problem! It was fun! Bye Spike, have a nice day.”
“You too, Derpy!”
With her mission accomplished, Derpy happily trotted out of the library and closed the door behind her while Spike occupied himself with the books. She took a few more steps before stopping. There, in the lawn beside the path, was a scroll – the scroll Spike was holding when he opened the door.
“What’s this for?” Derpy wondered aloud. Then she recalled hearing Spike say something before she rang the doorbell. His words floated through her head like a mystical voice from the heavens.
I’ll send this to the Princess right away!
“Was this…what he was…”
I’ll send this to the Princess right away…
“Could this be something that…”
To the Princess…
“…I have to…”
Right away…
“Wait. This probably isn’t a map to Muffin Mountain. Maybe I should just give it back to Spike…” Derpy trotted back up to the door.
“WAIT! He said that he needed to send it to the Princess! Right away! Twilight is Princess Celestia’s student!” Derpy face-hoofed at her silliness before giggling, “Hee hee, Derp! Spike was at the door with it because he wanted me to deliver it!”
Derpy gazed at the scroll in her hoof. This scroll was meant to be sent to Princess Celestia, all the way in Canterlot. The mailmare boggled at the responsibility she held in her hoof. An urgent letter to Princess Celestia! She had to show this to Boxxy Brown right away!
“Mr. Brown! Mr. Brown!” Derpy called urgently into the back room. Behind a desk was Boxxy Brown, a burly pegasus with a brown coat. He glared up at Derpy from the papers strewn across his desk. Letting out an annoyed sigh, he threw a file onto the desk.
“What is it now Derpy?” he said with a gruff voice.
“Mr. Brown! Mr. Brown!”
“SPIT IT OUT DERPY!” Derpy showed him the scroll. Boxxy cocked his head to the side in confusion. “What’s that?”
“Twilight wants it delivered to Princess Celestia! It’s urgent!”
Boxxy stared at the paper. “Well it certainly does look fancy enough.” He noted the red ribbon tied around the scroll, and the golden Canterlot seal attached to it. It was much more sophisticated than anything else they delivered. “So this thing’s gotta go to the Princess?” Derpy nodded. “Well we’ll just put it on the next chariot to Canterlot then,” Boxxy said as he tossed the scroll aside into a large bag of mail.
“No!” Derpy cried as she dived to catch it. She shot back up to her hooves. “This is URGENT though! Somepony has to deliver it right away!”
“Who? Everypony’s busy all week…” Boxxy trailed off. “Well, maybe…” Derpy tilted her head. The gruff colt wrapped a foreleg around her shoulder. “Why don’t you take it, Derpy?”
“Me?” Derpy asked, pointing a hoof at herself tentatively.
“Yeaaah, sure. It would definitely get you out of my hair- er, I mean…I need a dedicated mailpony like you to get the job done.” He winked slyly.
“Well…uhh…I don’t know…Canterlot is really far away…and I’ve never been out of Ponyville…” Derpy’s voice grew quiet and trailed off.
“Ohhh don’t worry about it. And besides, this is an urgent delivery remember? No time to waste, Derpy!”
“But…do you really think I can do it?”
“Suuuure! Of course you can! Now get out there and deliver that letter!” Derpy’s boss said as he shoved the scroll into her hooves and shoved her out the door. “Now go make the Ponyville Postal Service proud!”
After her boss slammed the door shut behind her, Derpy sat on the ground and looked at the scroll. “Well, a delivery does need delivering’ed. Maybe I can do it!” cheered Derpy before hopping up off the ground and taking flight. She flew back home as fast as she could.
Inside the living room, the lights were turned off and the curtains on the windows were shut. The only source of light was a quietly cackling fireplace, giving off a warm aura on the room. In front of the fireplace was an intricate Appleoosan rug, and on the rug were two ponies sharing the warmth of the fire. One mare, an aquamarine unicorn with a white and light blue mane, lay on her back and used her magic to pluck the strings of a floating lyre – which incidentally was her cutie mark as well. The cream-colored pony, whose swirling pink and blue mane lay draped over the other mare’s chest, closed her eyes as she enjoyed the warmth of the fire and the soft melody that her marefriend was playing.
“Oh, Lyra…I do enjoy your songs so much,” Bon Bon whispered to Lyra.
“I sure hope you do. You are my muse after all…” Lyra responded with a wink.
Bon Bon blushed. “What could I possibly do to inspire such a talented musician as yourself?”
“Everything you do, Bon Bon. Everything you are. Your beautiful mane, the way you giggle like a schoolfilly sometimes, those gorgeous bright blue eyes of yours…” Bon Bon blushed further. “And I just love the cutie mark on that flank of yours…not to mention the flank itself…” Lyra whispered coyly.
“Oh my flank inspires you does it…” Lyra nodded meekly, looking up at the earth pony. “Well maybe we could take this little conversation to the bedroom and I could…inspire you…some more…” this time, it was Lyra’s turn to blush.
The pair moved their faces closer, and shut their eyes. Their minds and their hearts raced in unison and their senses burned with heat, both from the fireplace and the blood rushing to their blushed faces. Lyra placed a hoof on the back of Bon Bon’s neck and pulled her closer. As they felt their hearts pumping in their chests their lips finally-
“LYRA AND BON BON!” Derpy hollered as she burst through the front door, casting a bright ray of sunlight upon the intimate pair. Lyra screamed in surprise and jumped to her hooves, sending Bon Bon flying over the couch. Derpy stopped and tilted her head. “What were you two doing?”
“SHE WAS HELPING ME WRITE A SONG! Don’t you knock Derpy?!” Lyra yelled, her aquamarine face turning red as a tomato.
“But this is urgent! Twilight Sparkle gave me a scroll and I have to deliver it to Princess Celestia right away!”
“Ugggghhh, that wasn’t very fun,” complained Bon Bon as she reappeared from behind the couch, rubbing the side of her head.
“Oh gosh! I’m sorry!” Lyra rushed to her marefriend and Derpy dashed up to her room to grab her things.
The couple went to the foot of the stairs and Bon Bon called up to Derpy, who she could see was frantically flying around and flinging things across her room. “Just what exactly are you doing now, Derpy?”
Derpy poked her head outside the door frame. “I’m packing! I’m going to Canterlot to take this letter to Princess Celestia!”
Lyra and Bon Bon exchanged glances. “Are you sure that’s to the Princess, Derpy?” Bon Bon asked the pegasus.
“Of course it is! Spike said he would send it to the Princess right away and then gave it to me, who else is gonna deliver it??”
“Well, you better hurry. The next train to Canterlot is leaving in like 10 minutes,” interjected Lyra, looking at the elaborate grandfather clock near the foot of the stairs.
From upstairs the couple heard an alarmed gasp. Derpy launched out of the bedroom and zoomed back into the living room, causing the wind she created to mess up Bon Bon’s perfectly swirled mane. “Then I haven’t a moment to lose!” Derpy cheered.
“Well uh, good luck Derpy,” Lyra said, giving the mailmare a hug.
Bon Bon hugged her as well. “We’ll miss you!” she said. Derpy opened the door and waved her final goodbyes to the pair, and took flight off into the blue sky.
Lyra shut the door and pushed the lock firmly in place with an emphasized “CLICK!” She looked at Bon Bon’s disheveled hair and gave a sly glance to the earth pony. “Nice mane…I must say I find it quite…” Bon Bon blushed. “…Inspiring.”
Caramel trotted up to the house, his heart beating fast and his stomach doing flips inside him. He sucked in a deep breath of air and gave the door three quick knocks before finally exhaling.
“GAH! What is it now?!” Somepony inside cried.
“At least they knocked this time.”
Caramel heard a loud furious “CLICK” from the doorknob and the door swung open. An annoyed aquamarine unicorn stood staring at him, who grunted through her teeth at the colt.
“Can I help you?”
“Uh…h-hi, is um D-Derpy here?” Caramel managed to stammer. A few beads of sweat started to form on his forehead.
“Oh wow. You like, just missed her. Sorry dude.” Lyra shrugged.
“Perhaps you could t-tell me where she went off to?”
“She just left for Canterlot.”
Caramel lowered his head. “Oh. Do you know when she might be back?” Lyra shrugged again. “Okay, thank you for your time,” Caramel said half-heartedly before walking away with his head down. Lyra quickly shut the door followed by the sound of another “CLICK” Caramel plopped his flank down on the sidewalk and let out a deep, disappointed sigh.
The Canterbury Inn (extended)
“ALL ABOOAAAARRRD!” the train conductor yelled, his booming voice somehow rising over the conversations of dozens of ponies waiting for the train. The doors opened and classy ponies filed in one by one, who turned to find a suitable room aboard the train. The colts wore top hats and expensive suits, while the mares were adorned with flashy jewelry. Eager for their trip to Canterlot – the center of high society – they took their seats. After everypony was inside and situated, and the conductor had given a loud last call for passengers, the doors shut and the train let out a howling whistle.
Classy ponies poked their heads out of the windows to wave their goodbyes to family members who came to see them off. Other ponies relaxed, ordered a drink, or read their newspapers. The conductor took his seat at the front of the train, operating the controls. He didn’t envy the conductors of the train that took ponies to Appleoosa. His own train was one that carried passengers to Canterlot – the capitol of Equestria – and thus was able to afford an engine powerful enough to pull the raging locomotive. His cousin however, wasn’t afforded such luxuries and had to pull the train himself all the way out into the wild west.
The conductor got the train moving forward, and sat back to enjoy a good book. “Yeaaaahh…this is the good life,” he sighed.
The train roared to life and slowly began chugging ahead. The engine strained to get the cars moving, but as momentum built up, its pace quickened with ease. Ponies called out to their loved ones, saying their final goodbyes, and pulled their heads back into the train to begin their journey to Canterlot.
The ponies that remained at the station watched as the train slowly disappeared into the distance. When the locomotive at last faded from sight, activity changed from tearful goodbyes to a bustling exit from the station. As the ponies made their way back to their carriages, a gray pegasus descended from the sky and landed gently on the platform.
“Phew! Looks like I made it just in time,” Derpy said to a monocle-wearing unicorn who was getting ready to leave the station. “It hasn’t even arrived yet! And here I thought I was gonna be late.” Derpy giggled.
“Um, pardon me miss, but I do believe the train has already left for Canterlot,” the unicorn stated.
“What? When?!” Derpy whined.
“It departed but two minutes ago, my dear.”
Derpy facehoofed and groaned. She took flight once more and zoomed down the tracks.
Derpy’s eyes watered as the wind assaulted her eyes. She flapped her wings frantically, trying with all her might to propel her faster and faster. As of yet the train still wasn’t in sight, and the pegasus wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up. Her muscled ached with the strain of flight like this. For a moment she wished she was Rainbow Dash, who surely would have thought this caliber of flying to be a breeze. Just be like Rainbow Dash, she thought to herself. She recalled the pony’s fierce expression and tried to mimic what she thought to be Dash’s thought process while flying at such high speeds.
Intimidate the wind, Derpy. Intimidate it! Grr! Derpy growled at the howling wind, and put all of her focus into defeating it, propelling herself forward even more rapidly.
As the mare snarled at the wind, at last the caboose of the train came into sight. Derpy gasped with glee and continued on to catch up. After another minute of zooming above the train tracks, she came up beside the roaring locomotive.
Inside a window, Derpy spotted a red uniformed pony sitting quite relaxed while reading a paper. She waved frantically at the colt, struggling to keep herself aloft and at speed alongside the window. After what seemed to Derpy like minutes upon agonizing minutes of flapping, the pony at last noticed the exhausted pegasus hovering beyond the window. Folding his paper and setting it down atop a table, he walked over to the door. He slid it open and held out his hoof to Derpy.
“Ticket,” the colt said expectantly, eyes closed and seemingly bored with the unusual interaction.
“Uh, I don’t have a ticket!” Derpy cried over the howling wind. The uniformed pony’s face went from bored to annoyed as he glared at Derpy from inside the train. “But this letter is to Pri-”
The colt slammed the train door shut, and Derpy’s right wing with it. The pegasus yelped in pain and pulled with all her might to remove her jammed wing from the door. After a few tugs, she gave a final pull and at last tore herself from the train. Derpy landed hard on the ground and tumbled for several seconds before finally coming to a stop.
Derpy dislodged her head from the ground and shook it, to regain her senses. She watched as her ride to Canterlot faded into the distance, a particularly smug red-uniformed pony watching her from the caboose of the train. “Ugh! Rude pony!” she cried at him, sticking her tongue out. Derpy dusted herself off and checked to make sure the scroll was still in her bag.
Canterlot rested on the side of mountain, far in the distance. “Wull, guess I’ll just have to walk,” Derpy sighed. She rested her mailbag atop her back and slowly made her way along the side of the tracks, still catching her breath.
Caramel watched as his friend Lucky stuffed his face with a double-decker, mustard drenched, lettuce, tomato and sunflower burger with cheese. Ketchup leaked from the burger and splattered all over Lucky’s blue coat. Lucky, who seemed oblivious to the look he was getting from the colt sitting opposite him, finished the thing in likely record time. He then took several deep gulps from his supersized soda, before proceeding on to the hay fries.
Ignoring the spectacle unfolding before him, Caramel leaned his head into his hooves and groaned, “Uuuuuggggghhh, what am I going to do, Lucky?”
In between gulps of his fries, Lucky answered, “Well for starters, you could stop trying to get with the slowest mare in Equestria.”
As an answer, Caramel gave Lucky a swift punch in the shoulder, causing him to choke on his meal. “She’s not stupid!” Caramel yelled as his friend gasped for air. Nearby ponies gave strange looks at their table for all the commotion they were causing. At last Lucky swallowed down the hay fries lodged in his throat before sucking in an enormous gasp of air.
Caramel rested his face on the table. “Look, ‘Mel,” Lucky started, still panting, “there are plenty of other sea ponies in the ocean.”
“But I don’t want a sea pony!” Caramel cried, before slamming his forehead into the table once again.
“Well then just what exactly is stopping you from just talking to her?”
“I’ve tried…sort of…but every time I walk past her or something I chicken out! I’m a whimp! A chump! A loser!”
“That’s it? That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“That and…well when I was at Sweet Apple Acres earlier today, I heard granny talking about Derpy flirting with Bic Macintosh…” said Caramel quietly, lowering his chin to the table once again.
“WHAHA?! BIG MAC?! Oh sweet Celestia dude, you are screwed!” laughed Lucky heartily. Caramel gave Lucky a pathetic, hopeless look, and Lucky’s laugh cut short as he saw his friend’s anguish. “Well…uh…maybe it’s not that bad? I’ve heard there are mares that are actually into awkward, dorky, shy, sad skinny colts like you.”
“Thanks Lucky. You’re such an inspiration,” Caramel said through his teeth.
“No, really! Maybe she’s not into him.”
“You…you really think so?”
“….No…not really. This is Big Mac we’re talking about here. If I had muscles like that, I’d might as well be an alicorn I’d be so awesome.” Caramel’s ears drooped. “Then maybe I would be the mare-stealer,” Lucky grumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing! Anyway, just go talk to her. I guarantee you can’t possibly fail any harder talking to her than you can not talking to her.”
“Tried that. I brought flowers to her house and everything. And turns out, she just left for Canterlot.”
“Oof. Tough break. You know what you should do?” Caramel lifted his ears and looked at his friend. “You should go to Canterlot dude! Go sweep her off her hooves! Mares like that romancy junk.”
“Heh. If only.”
“If only what?”
“I can’t pull something like that off. Knowing me, I’d probably get lost. Or when I got there, she’d be all over some other guy. I don’t have the kind of luck with mares like you do, Lucky.”
“Ha! Luck? Caramel, it is aaaalll skill. Might as well call me Skilly!” Lucky peered around, looking for an opportunity to show his “skills” off to Caramel. He spotted Raindrops walking past the restaurant, and grinned. “Watch and learn, dude.”
Caramel rolled his eyes. “Here we go…”
“HEY RAINDROPS!” Lucky hollered, not intending to be loud enough for the restaurant and four neighboring blocks to be able to hear him. It definitely caught her attention and she glared at him from across the road. Lucky blushed and lowered his volume. “We should get dinner tonight! You, me and a bottle of sparkling cider, whaddya say?”
In response, Raindrops hollered with laughter, and flew off – barely able to contain her fits of condescending giggles.
Lucky – stunned – felt his face get hot with a fierce blush. “Eh, oh well. It’s just one mare right? Not like that’s gonna stop you from getting a date in twenty minutes,” Caramel laughed.
Snapping out of his funk, Lucky faked a yawn and agreed with the pony.
“Well, I’m gonna head home,” said Caramel. “I need to write up a script about what I could possibly say to Derpy once she gets back from Canterlot.”
“Yea…yea…I’ll see you later, Caramel,” Lucky replied. Caramel trotted off, leaving Lucky to sit alone at the restaurant table watching Raindrops continue on into the sunset – still laughing audibly.
“Macintosh…!” he grumbled, shaking his hoof.
With a huff of exhaustion, Derpy knocked on the thick wooden door. It was crudely made and didn’t quite fit the doorway properly. She could see the warm lantern light pour from beneath it and between the splintery planks of wood that it was comprised of. From inside the inn, she heard festive songs, and the sound of ponies laughing heartily. The crowd inside paid her no attention so eventually she gave up knocking and slowly pushed the door open.
Derpy wondered at all the diverse ponies singing folk songs at the main table, and the two small bearded colts dancing in circles on top of it. As she made her way to the counter, she noticed a group of griffins in the corner talking quietly amongst themselves. One noticed Derpy watching and gave her a dark glare. Derpy immediately broke eye contact and hurried to meet the innkeeper at the counter.
“Welcome to the Canterbury inn!” greeted the innkeeper warmly. He was a gruff skinny colt with a thick moustache. One ear seemed to have a chunk missing, but overall he seemed to be friendly and Derpy’s nerves calmed as he welcomed her.
“I need a place to stay,” Derpy said groggily – her eyes falling shut even as she spoke to the colt.
“I’d be happy to oblige yeh miss, if yeh’ve got the bits,” he replied. Derpy reached into her mailbag for the coins and left them on the counter. “Right then” The colt grabbed a key from underneath the counter and handed it to Derpy. “Enjoy yer stay! Third room on the left.”
“Thank…you…” Derpy slowly walked to her room, ignoring the still-rowdy group of inn patrons singing their favorite drinking songs. She walked to the room, entered it and leapt onto the springy bed. As she felt sleep begin to take her, she took a few moments to remember her day – one part in particular in fact. Despite the letter, Boxxy Brown, the train, and the Canterbury Inn, she found herself being brought back to that moment standing on the road watching Caramel pick the petals off a sunflower. The breeze, the birds, the smell of apple pie from the Apple family farm. While she recalled the sensations, blissful sleep at last washed over her and her dreams were full of wondrous fantasies of romance and fame – none of which she would remember in the morning.
Meanwhile, Caramel too found himself drifting off into dreamland. After wracking his brains for several hours on how to win Derpy when she returned – whenever that would be – he finally gave up and went to bed. He resigned to sleep and dreamt of himself being more like Lucky, who at the time dreamt of sweeping Raindrops into his forelegs, who dreamt of being swept into Big Macintosh’s forelegs, who dreamt of eloping with his secret lover – Fernando the unicorn.
The mailmare awoke, rubbing the tiredness from her eyes. Her legs and wings burned from the extensive walking and rough flying she had done the day before, but a glance at the sealed scroll tucked safely inside her bag reminded her how much it was worth it.
A rumble in her tummy notified Derpy of her impending hunger. Breakfast was free for inn patrons, and so she decided to take advantage of it. Derpy tossed the mailbag over her back and happily trotted into the hall.
“HA! Full house! Pay up dweeb!” cried a gruff voice from the dining hall. A few other voices laughed. Derpy timidly crept to the counter, trying her best to avoid eye contact with the crowd. It was the same group of griffons from the night before. The rest of the patrons seemed to be resting the day away, likely in effort to avoid the splitting headaches caused from their activities the night before.
“Oh good mornin’ to ya lass,” the innkeeper said, smiling brightly. “Up bright an’ early I see. I can only guess ye mus’ be hungry, what with goin’ to bed without yer supper last night.” Derpy nodded, charmed by the colt’s friendly demeanor. “Aye then, what can I get for ye?”
“Do you have any muffins?” Derpy asked, smiling wide.
“Muffins? Aye, we’ve got muffins!” the innkeeper replied, disappearing into the kitchen. After a brief moment, he reappeared with a plate with a small pile of muffins stacked on top of each other. “Enjoy yer meal now!”
“Thanks!” cried the pegasus, taking the plate and rushing over to one of the tables to devour her prize. She noticed from the corner of her eye one of the Griffons staring at her again, making her feel uneasy once more.
“Holy smokes!” the griffon yelled, startling Derpy and nearly causing her to choke on her muffin. “Derpy? Derpy Hooves is that you?” the griffon laughed while making her way to Derpy’s table. The pegasus turned to the griffon, and a wave of relief washed over her upon seeing somepony she was familiar with.
“Hi Gilda!”
“What’s up Derpster. Haven’t seen you since flight school,” Gilda casually responded. She grabbed Derpy’s chair and pulled it out from underneath her. Derpy fell to the floor, knocking over her plate of muffins and sending them flying into the air. Gilda laughed loudly as she dragged the chair back to the table where the other griffons were waiting. “Classic Derpy, ha ha!” laughed Gilda. “C’mon, sit over here with us.” Derpy collected her scattered muffins and ambled over to the griffons’ table.
“This is that one pony I was telling you about before, fellas” A couple of snickers escaped the griffons, who bumped elbows. “Derpy, these are my pals Griff, Greg, Gabby, Gus, Gloria, Gunther, and Burt.” Gilda pointed to each griffon as she named them, each one waving with a smothered giggle, with the exception of Burt, who just looked confused.
Burt pointed a talon at Derpy. “Wait, I don’t get it. If this is the pony you were talking about then why are you being so friendl - ”
Gilda stuffed a clawed hand into Burt’s mouth. “JEEZ Burt, don’t be such a dweeb.” Derpy cocked her head, unsure of what to make of interaction.
“So Derpy,” said Griff, a cool steel-blue griffon with blood-red eyes and a greasy, slicked back head of feathers, “how do you and Gilda know each other?” His voice was in a word: chill.
“Derpster and I,” Gilda interjected, before Derpy could answer, “went to flight school together. I tell ya, this pony is the ultimate klutz. Never was able to make it into the Junior Speedsters, but not for lack of trying, right Derps? Yeah, she failed the entrance course…how many times was it?”
“…fifteen…” Derpy mumbled feebly, as she felt her face heat up.
Gilda exploded into another bout of raucous laughter. Some of the others joined in, though if only to laugh alongside Gilda. She wiped a tear from her eye with one of her sharp talons as the laughter died down and said, “Ohh man. I think she may even still have the record for failed attempts. I got in on my first try, naturally, but my old friend Rainb-“
“No you didn’t,” interrupted Derpy. Gilda angrily glanced sideways at her.
“What did you say?”
“You said you got in on your first try, but you didn’t, remember?” Derpy cocked her head. “You failed four times and after the fourth, you got really drunk and tried to make out with Rainbow Dash. And that didn’t work well at all considering you have a beak!” Derpy giggled at the recollection. “And then you tried to pour cider into the bathtub and swim in it, which got you the nickname ‘Gilly Gilda,’” Derpy had lost track of herself by this time, telling the story. “And then when everybody else left, you and I talked about love and ponies not loving you back and I told you that I knew exactly how you felt and you said you appreciated it a lot and that’s how we became such good friends!”
Derpy snapped her wandering eyes back forward to see that Gilda was red in the face, and glaring at her like nopony had ever glared at her before. The other griffons looks surprise, some of them even giggling.
“Gilly Gilda?”
“Isn’t Rainbow Dash that dweeb you said ditched you while you were in Ponyville?”
“You tried to make out with a pony?”
“Tongue and everything?”
Gilda was on the verge of exploding. A vein in her forehead was pulsing dangerously. She mumbled, barely moving her beak, “she’s lying.”
Derpy was confused. “No I’m not, that’s what happened. Don’t you remember, Gilly?”
“My name is not ‘Gilly.’ And you better stop spreading rumors before I pound your dweeb face into the dirt.”
Tears began to well up in Derpy’s eyes. “But…but that’s what…”
Gilda got up and moved slowly toward Derpy, who backed up to avoid having the Griffon’s glaring face pressed right up against her own.
“I’m sorry…d-did I embarrass you? Do you want me to lie?” Derpy’s eyes were stinging hotly, and she could barely get the words out of her mouth.
“No. I want you to tell the truth,” Gilda said harshly.
“But I am telling the truth!” cried Derpy, the tears now flowing down her gray cheeks. Her face burned as all eyes in the pub were turned upon her.
With Derpy’s hind legs backed up against a corner, Gilda made to grab her. Derpy ducked just under her arm and bolted before the door, before realizing the lack of the reassuring weight of her mailbag. She whirled around.
“Looking for this?” chuckled Gilda dangerously, as she held up the mailbag.
“Give it back, Gilda!”
“Only when you start telling the truth, dweeb.”
“No!” Derpy cried, unable to come up with much else to retort with.
“Well then, I suppose it’s mine. Let’s have a look, shall we?” Gilda opened the bag and pulled out some of Derpy’s bits. “Money, mine,” Gilda said as she tossed out the coins. “Socks, mine,” she said as she ripped out a pair of comfy woolen pony-socks. Gus snickered. “Oh? What’s this?” Gilda pulled out a tightly rolled scroll, bound by a bright red ribbon and stamped with a fancy looking seal. Derpy’s scroll. The one that Twilight Sparkle needed urgently delivered. Derpy’s ears drooped.
“This looks a bit fancy for a klutz like you, Derps. I wonder what’s in it”, Gilda said as she raised a talon to the ribbon.
“NO!” Derpy screamed, launching herself at Gilda. The griffon had no time to react besides a small exclamation of surprise before Derpy was upon her, kicking and biting. The other griffons got up to pull Derpy off of their fellow, but had difficulty prying the pegasus off of her.
Gilda yelled at her assaulter, “Let…go…you…crazy…ARGH!” Derpy had bit Gilda’s taloned hand, causing her to drop the scroll. At last the mailmare released her hold on Gilda and dived for the scroll, ducking beneath the griffons that struggled to catch her. Grabbing the scroll with her mouth, Derpy made for the door, only to be blocked by a swearing Gilda.
“You’ll pay for that, dweeb.”
Derpy whirled around. The griffons were encroaching upon her. The barcolt was yelling, “Oi! Leave her alone why don’t yeh. Yer scaring the poor girl half to death!” Up at the top of the stairs that led toward the rooms, there was a window open. Derpy launched for it. Yet another griffon blocked her path but she rocketed right into his gut. Gunther fell over, coughing, as the other griffons tried to impede her progress to safety. Derpy leapt up from the floor, landing on Gabby’s face and zoomed right up the stairs and straight through the open window, scroll safely between her teeth.
Behind her she could hear lots of yelling. Gunther and Gabby groaning in pain, the barcolt shouting at the griffons to get out of his inn, and Gilda screaming “GET AFTER HER! DON’T LET HER GET AWAY!”
Derpy only now at last felt the absurd amount of adrenaline rushing through her veins. She gave one last shuddering sob and let her nerves calm. She made for Canterlot once again, thankful to be out of that place, and thankful to have escaped with her letter.
Caramel pulled carts. That was what he did, that was his job, that was his talent. Whenever somepony needed a cart to be pulled and didn’t have the strength or didn’t want to do it themselves, they hired Caramel. Sometimes he pulled carts or carriages for other ponies simply to be nice, as he had done on several occasions. Often he pulled the cart for his family, the apples, who owned the apple orchard.
It was from there that Caramel pulled a large cart full of bright and shiny red apples which needed to be brought to the apple stands in Ponyville. This was the beginning of the apple harvest season and Granny Smith had asked him to help Big Macintosh. There was no other business to be had that day, so he accepted. Caramel pulled along the heavy cart with his head low and his ears drooped. His dreams the night before had not given him much respite from his mare troubles. Things did not look bright for Caramel in recent days when it came to girls. His last girlfriend – Sassaflash – had cheated on him with the Ponyville doctor.
“He looks just like you!” was her defense.
“He wears a lab coat. When have I ever worn a lab coat? And furthermore, when has my cutie mark been a heart monitor?!”
And now Caramel was crushing on a mare he knew full well would rather be with his cousin, Big Macintosh – the strong, handsome farmer.
As Caramel lamented these things – his eyes cast downward – he failed to notice the group of ponies gathered in conversation in front of him, and unceremoniously barreled into one of them.
“ACK! Get offa me!” yelled the mint green unicorn he had accidentally assaulted. The same one who he knew to be Derpy’s roommate.
“Oh! Jeez. I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going. Sorry, I’m so clumsy,” Caramel said, helping Lyra back up to her hooves.
“Well our residential klutz charged off to Canterlot but it’s a good thing you showed up. I was worried there would be a shortage of painful accidents in my life,” mumbled the annoyed unicorn.
“Lyra, be nice. It was an accident,” Bon Bon chided as she elbowed Lyra in the rib. “I’m sorry about her.”
The little filly that had been talking to looked up at Caramel curiously. Her coat was a light purple – her hair blonde. Caramel noticed she looked a lot like Derpy, though she was a unicorn.
“Oh don’t be, that was my fault entirely,” Caramel replied, blushing. He rushed to go replace some of the apples that had fallen out of the cart, anxious to dodge away from the embarrassment. As he cleaned them up, he overheard their conversation.
“So, Dinky, what was it you wanted to ask us?” Bon Bon asked sweetly.
“I was wondering if you knew when Derpy was going to get back. She never said goodbye to me,” Dinky said, looking downward.
“Oh, Dinky, I wouldn’t worry about that. She was just in a really big hurry when she left. She was trying to catch the train to Canterlot, see,” Lyra said to the sad filly. “Derpy adores you, you know that.”
“Yeah…I guess,” the filly said, looking a tad brighter.
“And as for when she’ll get back – well we don’t really know. She didn’t say much about it, she just said that she had to deliver a letter to Canterlot. If she caught the train on time, it shouldn’t be more than a couple days,” said Bon Bon.
“Okay…thank you,” Dinky said, and Lyra and Bon Bon said their goodbyes to her.
Dinky paused for a moment, and walked around the cart to stare curiously at Caramel once more, who had been listening intently to the conversation while pretending to pick up apples. He noticed her watching him, which made him a bit uncomfortable. Hoping to break the awkward silence hanging in the air, he tried to start a conversation – though accidentally grasping onto the subject they had just been discussing.
“So…you know Derpy Hooves?” Caramel asked.
“Yeah,” she replied. Again the silence hung in the air for a few moments as Caramel looked around, wondering if she was going to say anything more. At last he decided that was it, and just as he turned back to his cart, she spoke again.
“Are you from the apple family?”
“Well, um, yes.” He tried to gesture to the apples casually, which he realized as soon as he had done it made him look rather goofy instead. “Yes I am.”
Dinky brightened. “Derpy always talks about one of the colts from the apple family. I think she’s got a huge crush on him.” She smiled wide, hopeful. “Is it you?!”
Caramel’s ears drooped. Just what I need to hear, thought Caramel. More ponies mentioning her crush on Macintosh.
“No, sorry. I don’t think she’s talking about me. It must be Big Macintosh she’s mentioning,” Caramel sad quietly, hoping he didn’t look too depressed about it.
“Oh.” Dinky took a moment to think, surveying him closely. At last she closed her eyes and said, “Well I think you’re much cuter.”
“Um. Thanks, I guess,” Caramel said. Dinky turned and trotted away casually. Unsure of what to make of the exchange, Caramel harnessed himself back into the cart and began pulling once more.
At midday, he returned to the Apple farm with the empty apple cart in tow. Once again he was depressed, his conversation with Dinky still repeating in his head. He left the cart next to the barn, and headed inside. Granny Smith, and his cousins Applejack and Applebloom were seated around the table. Applejack was telling the others some story, waving her hooves in the air and causing Applebloom to giggle and hiccup with delight. As the laughter died down, they took notice of Caramel.
“Back, Granny. Cart’s next to the house,” he said.
“Oh thank you dear. I appreciate it, why don’t you have lunch with us? I’ve got apple pie in the oven!” Granny said, pulling a chair out from underneath the table.
“No, thank you Granny. I’ve already made lunch plans with Lucky,” Caramel lied. He really didn’t want to be around anyone while in such a sorry mood. “I’m gonna head back to town.”
“Well alrighty dear, but don’t forget to stop by sometime!”
“Sure thing, Granny,” said Caramel half-heartedly, and turned back out the door. Outside he saw Bic Mac pulling another cart back to the house, with a yellow pegasus carrying a mailbag cantering along happily in tow. She seemed to be talking animatedly to Big Mac, who seemed not to be listening. In fact – he looked positively annoyed.
“Uh…look Raindrops, you probably shouldn’t follow me back to the farm,” said Macintosh. “I don’t want Granny to throw anything else at ya.”
“Oh don’t worry about me. I can dodge whatever that old hag can throw at me!” Raindrops said brightly, oblivious to the glare Big Mac was giving her for calling Granny Smith a hag. “Besides, it’s worth it if I get to spend more time with yoooou.” Raindrops fluttered her eyes at the stallion.
Then out of nowhere a large horseshoe whipped past Caramel, rocketing straight into Raindrops’ forehead, who collapsed in a pile of feathers and swears.
“WHAT A SHOT GRANNY! Twenty points!” Caramel heard Applebloom cheer behind him. He turned around to see Granny’s smug smile.
“And don’t ya come back now ya hear! I’ma watchin’ you Raindrops!”
“ARRRGGGHH! BY THE PRINCESS…CRAZY SON OF A…GAHH!” Raindrops groaned and whimpered and cursed, flying lopsided as fast as she could back the way she came. Big Mac put a hoof to his face.
“What was that about, Granny?” Caramel asked.
“Oh that’s that mailmare I mentioned to ya yesterday. She’s been tryin’ ta flirt with Macintosh. The floozy!” she yelped.
Suddenly, gears were turning in Caramel’s head. He felt an electric surge go through him, a fire lighted in his heart. Raindrops was the mailmare that was trying to flirt with Big Mac? Not Derpy? But didn’t Dinky say that Derpy had a crush on one of the Apple colts?
A realization hit him hard.
“Are you alright, Caramel? You didn’t look yerself back in the house. Everythin’ okay?” Applejack came up from behind Caramel. Her voice was concerned.
“I’m much better now!” Caramel yelled loudly, before taking off at top speed down the road after Raindrops.
Seconds seemed like minutes, and yet minutes seemed like seconds. Time went wonky for Caramel as he wondered. Could it be true? Is it really? At last he came back to the town, and ran frantically back to where he had talked to Dinky, hoping with all hope that she was still somewhere near there.
And sure enough, see could be found playing hopscotch alone near the market. He raced up to her as quickly as possible, and – without meaning to – put his face right up in front of hers. She let out a startled yell.
“DINKY! Remember when we were talking about Derpy and the Apple colt?” he said as quickly as he could.
After she regained her senses, Dinky responded, “Um…yes?”
“What sort of things has she said about him? Anything specific?”
“She said…he sometimes worked on the Apple farm?”
“What else?”
“He didn’t pay her much attention?”
“WHAT ELSE??”
“He lived next to the boutique.”
“SWEET PRINCESS HALLELUJAH!” Caramel cried as he picked up Dinky into his forelegs and swung her around him. She was confused, but didn’t mind the attention.
“It’s me, Dinky! I’m the one who lives next to the boutique! Derpy has a crush on ME!” he said as he held Dinky up in front of him. She looked delighted.
“I told you you were cuter!” Dinky chirped.
Caramel put Dinky down and began to pace. “But you’re right. I’ve always tried to look away when Derpy was nearby; I always tried not to be too obvious. Oh my gosh, she must have thought I was so mean! What do I do?” he asked Dinky, who shrugged, bewildered.
Another stroke of inspiration hit him. “Lucky’s right! I should follower her! Right? I should follow her to Canterlot and tell her how I feel! Don’t chicks like that romancy junk??” he desperately asked Dinky, who nodded excitedly. “But the train’s long gone by now and it won’t come until next week!” he shouted.
Dinky gasped. “I have an idea!”
“What??”
“Follow me!” Dinky cried as she raced off. Caramel followed, trying hard not to run too fast and pull ahead of her – her legs were much smaller than his, after all, and could not run as fast as he could. At last they seemed to reach their destination – Sugar cube corner. Dinky raced through the door and Caramel went in right behind her. A pink pony with an even pinker, curly mane waited at the counter.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How can I help you?” she asked, smiling wide.
Caramel realized instantly what Dinky meant, and hoped that Pinkie Pie would be willing to let him borrow the hot air balloon she had in her possession.
“Pinkie! Can I borrow the-“
“Sure!”
“…what? But I didn’t even finish-“
Pinkie Pie leapt around the pair and urged them forward into the kitchen, and out the back door. “No time! You gotta get going!” There sat the hot air balloon, already inflated and ready to go. Pinkie lifted Caramel and Dinky into the basket and began undoing the sandbags tied to the side.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Caramel said. “Dinky can’t come with me.”
“Why not?” said Pinkie and Dinky in unison.
“Well, she’s just a filly! I’m going to Canterlot and her mother doesn’t even know where she is right now! I wouldn’t take her with me without her mother’s permission.”
And as if on cue, another unicorn came out the back door of the pastry shop, stuffing her face with cupcakes. She was identical to Dinky, except for the fact that she was a fully grown mare. “She can go, sure. I don’t mind,” she said before stuffing another cupcake into her muzzle.
Pinkie turned back to Caramel and Dinky, the latter having been affected with an enormous grin. “Well, that settles that! Looks like she has permission!” Pinkie said as she untied the last sandbag, allowing the balloon to float upward.
“But how did you…?” Caramel wondered as they lifted up.
“This chapter’s already long enough as it is!” Pinkie cried up to the two of them. “We couldn’t waste any more time by explaining it all to everyone!”
And with that, the hot air balloon surged upward into the sky.