The Dangerous but Delightful Dragons 1

The Standard and Normal Human Two7 

With my food stash dry and Discord being a jerk as per usual, me Curt and Dagger headed to the ‘Dragons Lair’ so to speak… Actually it was more literal than that but whatever… None of us said anything to each other as we began our journey, I mean what was supposed to be said at a time like this?

‘Try not to look at them directly in the eyes, or speak or breathe. If you do that then’ You’re gonna have a bad time’

It’s just plain silly right?

It was a short walk to the canyon, upon arrival Curt decided to inform us of the ‘Important things not to do during this part of the quest’ Why quest? It makes it sound more interesting, that’s why! How he went about explaining it reminded me of Airhostesses before a take-off, Oh and by the way I’ve been on a plane now and let me tell you, initial take off is Horrible! My head was aching for so danged long! Apart from that I was ok, I must have felt sick on that Sky Carriage because of how small it was, I was nervous as all heck in that thing…

Oh right… I’m rambling again, apologies…

“Ok you two” He began, sounding both bored and irritated at the same time. “As we pass through here it’s vital that we keep as quiet as possible, got it? Dragons hearing is extremely sensitive”

“I see… So no kicking, screaming, pulling funny faces, making silly noises-“ I began to take the mick, what the heck did he think I was going to do whilst sneaking past dragons?

“He just said we need to keep as quiet as possible!” Dagger added, quickly slapping me with her wing. “You do that and we’ll be a Dragons dinner!”

“Can you Relax please?!” I replied back, “I was Joking! Don’t you think I know how serious this is?!”

And then, Once again…

“You are most certainly not taking this seriously at all!”

I swear this was a routine or something…

“What are you talking about?!”

Because at times like this… This Always Happened…

“Treat the situation with some severity will you!”

Luckily however Curt was here this time…

“I always do!”

So as a Lion…

“So what was that right now?!”

Curt let out a loud and dominant Roar, “Shut up the pair of you!” After taking a deep breath to calm down himself he continued, “Dagger, this human… Nick, uses humour as a mean to escape any fear or nervousness that engulfs him… Just… Ignore him or something”

Dagger took a look at me and I was as white as a ghost, I really didn’t want to go near any dragons. I wasn’t a Dovahkiin, Shouting at them wouldn’t do anything… I physically wanted to be sick, but as I’m a joker at times like this I can usually hide that fact pretty well.

“Hey… Curt” I said smiling slightly, “You need to keep it down, there ‘Are’ dragons here after all…”

 Curt suddenly realised that I was right and began to blush, “W-Whatever, now just keep quiet and follow me”

“More like keep calm and carry on…” I whispered, following Curt’s lead through a wide open cave in the canyons face.

“What?” Dagger replied, but she soon gave up on what I had just said. “Oh whatever…” Said the grumpy princess…

Hmm, I never did think about the ramifications of writing about her in such a manner… Hah! Whatever, it’s not like I’m breaking any laws or rules in their land is it? …Wait, is it?

As we walked through the slightly lit cave we could hear the roars and movement above us, it sounded like a whole dragon’s nest up there… Which was funny because that’s exactly what it was… As the cave began to open up we could physically see through the gaps in the walls, those dragons were everywhere!

“Dear lord there’s a lot of them…” I whimpered as I tried to focus on my footwork and breathing.

“… Well, this ‘Is’ their nest you know…” Dagger added sarcastically, I didn’t answer… “… You really are scared aren’t you?”

“Wouldn’t you be in my situation?” I replied quietly, “I mean you have wings and some fighting capabilities… What have I got? I may as well have the word ‘Food’ sprawled over my chest…”

“Shh” Curt insisted, trying to keep us as quiet as possible.

We continued onwards and it didn’t get much better, the cave got narrower at one point… I was about ready to turn back, if it wasn’t for Dagger and Curt pushing me through the crawl space I wouldn’t have even considered doing it. After we got through however we encountered our first problem…

“Oh thank god!” I whispered excitedly, kissing the ground in relief.

“… Um…” I heard Curt say, he didn’t sound very happy…

I heard this and got up from the ground, before I could ask what was wrong I could see exactly what was concerning him.

It there were 3 tunnels, all going in different directions…

“I don’t remember this being like this before…” Curt questioned, something was clearly wrong here… “There only used to be one tunnel, where did these come from?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “I dunno… Maybe a drilling machine?”

“… What?” Dagger questioned, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned something from the show…

Curt was looking at me in confusion, it didn’t last long however…

“Well well well, what do we have here?” An ominous voice said, we started looking around but couldn’t see anyone, then that classic horror trick of looking up in horror. There were three teenage dragons, clenching the ceiling with their claws.

The shortest one was green, quite chubby but broad. The second tallest was a red, his teeth seemed to be a lot sharper and thinner than the others he was with. Then last but not least, the purple dragon. He was the tallest and, as experience goes, they would no doubt follow his orders… It must be pretty bad when ‘I’m’ the one who knows what’s going on…

 At the same time they all let go and descended to the ground, luckily I didn’t feel so intimidated as the tallest one was only slightly taller than me. Having said that however it was still pretty unnerving, “A Griffon, a Lion, and a- … A…”

Something clicked in my head, you know the one right? The one that encourages me to get up to some shenanigans?

I sighed, “Here we go again, gimme a sec to get comfortable…” I said calmly, I walked to the cave wall and parked my backside on the ground. “Ok, so… Who wants to play 20 questions?”

“What is it?” The greed dragon asked.

I started shaking my hand, “No no no that’s not how it works…” I replied, “You need to ask things like, ‘Is it bigger than a bread box?’ Or ‘Can I put it in my… Mou-‘, Actually let’s forget that one…”

“What are you doing?!” Dagger yelled at me, unhappy with the current situation.

Curt facepaw’d, “… Why am I not surprised?”

“It’s toying with us… Let’s just eat it!” Red added, getting straight to the point which wasn’t a good thing.

You see normally in past events like these, I was able to stall whatever creature it was from attacking me in some way. Dragons, as it turned out, liked to cut the ‘middleman’ so to speak…

“Whoa, you're being a bit hasty there don’t you think?” I replied nervously, now getting up from the ground because my ‘Stall Them’ tactic had gone south.

“Not really” The purple one said, I could see his sharp teeth through his devious smile. “So which ones do you guys want?-”

“Not so fast there Spyro” I interrupted, it was time to go back to basics. “I do believe it’s not even dinner time yet and- OH MY GOSH! WHAT’s THAT BEHIND YOU!?”

My sudden shouting caused the Dragons to turn around in shock, when they did they saw nothing.

“Guys! Split up!” I yelled to Curt and Dagger, I headed for the left tunnel, Curt took the right and Dagger took the middle. I could hear the ‘tragons’ (Teenage Dragons, yes I just made that up…) Right behind us, “Ha! Made you look! See Ya! Fus-Ro-Dragons!”

Spyro, the purple one, wasn’t happy at all. “Grrr! Get Em!”

It never really occurred to me how much running I did during that trip, it was a heck of a lot let me tell ya.

As I made my way through the ever changing and winding cave, I soon realised that Spyro was right behind me. And then he was suddenly above me, I wasn’t watching my footwork. I was so busy looking back that I ended up walking into thin air, the cave opened up and I landed straight into a river. The stream was taking me away, I didn’t know where but anywhere had to be better than where I was.

“Gah! Why’d I have to pick the tunnel with the water drop!?”I yelled as I kept my head above water level, I soon realised that this was a rather good thing. I mean dragons breathe fire right? So the last thing they’d want to do is jump in with me, so being the crazy human I was I decided to let the current take me. “Well, I guess this could be worse…”

Guess what happened? Yup, it got worse… ‘Wait, what is that sound?’ I thought to myself, I could hear something in the distance.

‘… Is that- Water falling? … Oh dear god no…’

Before I could even attempt to swim against the flow of the water is was already too late, it sent me flying over the edge into a lake. The layout of the cave had already confused the heck out of me, even trying to explain this is confusing I know… I landed head first and then had to swim back up to the surface, I should have picked something better to say…

“Ha! I’m Alive!” I Yelled, still disorientated by being thrown around.

By the time I opened my eyes I could see at least 15 dragons, adult dragons, staring at me with their giant menacing eyes. They were massive creatures, intimidating and ferocious…

I don’t remember anything after that for a while, I think I passed out or fainted. Well what would you have done? And no don’t start referencing Jurassic park, it’s not going to do you any good…

‘Hmm… Is it alive?’

‘Does it matter? Can I eat it?’

‘Of Course not!’

‘Wh-Why?!’

‘Do you know what this creature is!?’

‘Well uh… no… Do you?’

‘No! Of Course Not! I’ve never seen anything like it!

“Ugh” I awoke to the sounds of arguing, I must have been moved to dry land because I wasn’t in the lake anymore. But I really wish I didn’t open my eyes, I could see Spyro and some other adult dragons looking at me close up.

I wanted to freak out so bad…

“Take a step back, I think it’s awake…” One of the dragons spoke, it sounded strangely intelligent. I was expecting it to just eat me up and that would be it, but nope… Once again I was wrong, then again when Fluttershy had to tell that dragon off it said something like ‘But she Kicked me!’ in a childish fashion, so It’s no surprise that I actually did find one you can a conversation with…

“You’re… Not going to eat me?” I asked, still shaking with fear… Oh and I was cold, I did land in a lake after all.

“We have no reason to…” The dragon answered, “How do you understand our language?”

I answered with another question, “Well how do ‘You’ understand mine?”

The dragon laughed, “Well, you have a good point there… It can only mean that we’re using the same language to communicate, which means that wherever you came from, more creatures like you communicate like this…”

“Well… It gets confusing after a while to be honest, there’s so many different languages where I come from its ridiculous…” Before I knew it, I was having a conversation with a dragon the size of a house. “I mean you have Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, Dutch- Heck there are way too list and they’re just the ones I can remember…”

“I see, we have much to discuss then…” The dragon replied in interest…

Guess I can add ‘Dragon’ to my short list of languages I actually know…

English and Dragon, I really am a Dovahkiin!