To Make A Deal With Death

To Make A Deal With Death

By Tehmustachedbiscuit

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Everything was black, not a dark black but an empty black. I could not sense anything. Suddenly, a tiny pinprick of white appeared in the blackness, growing ever so bigger with every passing second. After what I guessed was a minute it was about the size of a football. It was growing at a rapidly increasing rate by now, and with it I could feel motion. I guess I was moving towards the light instead of it growing. It didn't matter though.

Soon I started to see a silhouette in the white. A silhouette of a human I suspected since it stood in what I guessed was it's bipedal stance. The figure itself was rather shapeless, looking like a tall mound of blackness.

In a few more of my calculated (air-quotes) minutes I was inside the white with the black turning into a spot behind me. I could clearly make out the figure by now, they were covered in a large black hooded cloak and holding one of those farming implements from my history lessons back in eighth year.

Anyway, I believe I just proved a large amount of religions wrong. It seems God doesn't wait for the passed at his golden gate. Nope. I could clearly make out the Grim Reaper, clad in his black cloak and holding his (rather well maintained) scythe.

"So, Mr. Chastryle?" A dry voice said, which I guessed belonged to the Grim Reaper.

"Um... Sorry... but," I made sure to draw out the 'but'."You miss-pronounced my name." I gave an awkward smile to punctuate it.

The Grim Reaper raised his head, a very blank, unamused expression on hi...

"Jesus Christ and his army of furry fishes!!!" I screamed." You have the face of Justin Bieber!!!"

That Justin Bieber face kept on looking, his eyes bore into my soul. I must say I never properly listened to 'his' so-called music. I honestly thought it was an abomination, I even voiced my opinion to that irritating bitch who somehow liked him. That was a good memory.

"Is there... a problem?" The Justin Bieber face asked.

Oh god... HE EVEN SOUNDS LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER!!!

I forced myself to refrain from screaming anymore."May I ask why... you have the face of Justin Bieber? And not that much more appealing skull?" God it was hard to say the words "Justin Bieber" without having some sort of meltdown.

He raised his bony hand out of his sleeve and clicked his un-fleshed fingers.

Praise the lord. I now saw the normal skull that I expected but it was accented with some lovely pink lensed aviators with a gold frame.

"This better?" He asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Much." I thanked, calming down almost instantly. "Anyway, you pronounce it 'Car-Stri-el'."

"Thank you for the correction." He said, a tone of annoyance escaping his jaws."Onto business, it is a tad disappointing to see a soul with such an exceptional future go to waist." He said, sighing at the end.

"But after much research I have decided that Hell is the place you belong." He continued.

"WHAT?!" I shouted. "IS THIS BECAUSE I NEVER HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE?!"

"Partially."

"If you didn't realise, I ONLY HAD A LIFESPAN OF TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS!!!"

"Well I apologise but you got the wrong end of the stick, while you were alive you spoke words of a possible revolution, of how the system was but a sham." The Grim Reaper continued, flipping through a black binder.

"I thought death respected rights?" I asked.

"It does, but there are occasional exceptions. Very rare mind you."

"Well I guess even if they put me out of my pain I would still suffer past the grave." I said sadly.

"Death was never one for negotiation."

"Ding."

"Pardon?" The Grim Reaper asked.

"Idea! Haha!" I started to laugh in a manic way.

"Excuse me?" The Reaper said, tilting his head in an questioning fashion.

"Can I have a look at your binder?" I asked, gesturing towards my expected secret to success with my hand.

"..." The Grim Reaper was silent just keeping a face which if habited by flesh and what have you would feature a comically raised eyebrow.

"I'm going to be toiling out the rest of my days in hell, what harm would it do?" I asked, praying to whatever gods that I hadn't yet.

He sighed, reluctantly albeit and handed me the black binder which I happily took into my hands, and started to flip through the pages.

"B,B,B,C,C,C,C,C,D,D,D,D,D,E... Aha! Here we go, the 'E' section. Let's see... Edam, Efor, Ehentso, Ejemp, Ekail, Elemt, Emonte, Enem, Eniax, Eog, Epontifa, Equil... Brilliant! Equestria!" I shouted with excitement.

The Grim Reaper crossed his arms.

"Now; Statistics... Average yearly death count, thirty-six thousand four-hundred and twenty-four... point five?" I looked at the Reaper, eyebrow raised. "And why the point five?" I asked.

"Equestria's Changeling population counts as point five due to non-feasible passports and bank-accounts."

"Ah." Is all I replied with before continuing. "Average yearly deaths due to accidents; twenty-eight thousand seven-hundred and sixty-two. Average yearly murders; seventy-nine point five, Average yearly death due to medical conditions; eight-thousand three-hundred and fourty-nine. All in all... you don't get much business from equestria do you?" I asked.

"Your point being?" The Grim Reaper replied.

"I can make you a deal that will get you more business." I said with a smug grin.

"Continue." He said.

"If, you let me habit Equestria, I can guarantee there will be at least twenty percent more deaths."

"And how do you plan to do that?" He asked.

"That is the second part of my deal, in order to achieve this I need the ability to do some real magic, like the unicorn specimen of the pony species, except more powerful. For example I shall need the ability to change my form; internal and external."

"And what, shall be my gain?" The Reaper asked, his voice sounding almost inquisitive.

"More business, more labourers, more fun and less whining from me." I said.

"I don't exactly see much benefit." The Reaper said.

"Well then how about you give me a year, and then decide?" I asked.

"Alright, Mr. Charstryle. You have one year." He said.

"Perfect."

A/N: This story will be an on and off! I bid you good day. And also if you wish to favourite this please also like it!