To Make A Deal With Death

To Make A Deal With Death
By Tehmustachedbiscuit

--( )--

Honestly I was expecting something at least a little bit comedic or fun, but no. The Reaper didn't kick me out of whatever his domain was called with a giant boot or something. No, he just clicked his bony fingers and I popped into Equestria, even with a real *pop* sound to go with it. I had to admit, he had class.

I opened my eyes and found my peripheral vision was blocked by... leaves? I tried to move my legs but ended up losing my balance. I tipped left, then right and started falling. I honestly didn't care about the falling, and I have no idea why. I always was a tad manic.

I face-planted the hard dirt at the base of the tree, hard.

"A little less class."

I slowly stood up brushing off my still bipedal form and rubbed my face, feeling a bruise rising on the left side of my forehead. I then brought my hand down to my cheeks, rubbing over them and feeling for the stubble that I cherished so much before moving onto my upper-lip and rubbing at my manstache, checking for dirt and loose foliage.

A gentleman has to keep up his appearance you know.

I started walking, no town or civilization in sight, yet perfectly content. The countryside I was walking through was absolutely lovely, I looked around admiring the rolling hills. I was amazed, truly. Everything looked like pastels, literally.

"Hmm, maybe they get discounts."

I suddenly felt like breaking into song, always was a bit of a broadway man.

"I made a deal with death,
not any kind of deal for meth,

I offered an advance,
and by my good chance,
I got my metaphorical contract signed,

And may I remind you that not every song has to rhyme,
And Jesus Christ look a--"

"GET THE PHONE YOU STUPID BITCH, COME ON!" I heard a voice, mysteriously emanating from my pocket.

I reached my hand down to my pocket, tightly gripping the phone in my grasp. It repeated its' flattering tone for a few more seconds before I pressed the answer button. I looked at the caller name.

"Mark?" I said.

I then looked up at my connection bar.

"Wow, three bars. Thats better than in my own home! God these ponies have a good mobile connection." I exclaimed.

I pressed the answer button and put the phone to my ear.

"Hey buddy!" The voice of mark called.

"Hello Mark." I finished with a sigh.

"How you doing?" He said, his rather feminine tone becoming prominent.

I grunted slightly."Fine, thank you."

"Well thats good! I'll call you later!" He said.

"Talk to you later mark." I said before hanging up.

"Huh. Guess they didn't inform him."

My story behind the ringtone is insanely simplistic. My nurse tended to not hear things from time to time and ignore me at others, so I went on the internet and found that. Never again did my nurse not know that I was being called. Neither did the rest of the hospital. Although I guess it isn't exactly appropriate or stealthy. Meh, i'll do it later.

Soon I started to see, smoke? I picked up the pace, excited to see civilization.

Once I reached the crest of the hill I looked about and saw a rather quaint hut sat next to a forest largely populated by birch trees; Whitetail Woods maybe?

I decided that I might aswell try my new powers, its not like it would hurt.

I envisioned a navy blue unicorn stallion; grey and black striped spiky mane, yellow eyes, damn sexy to say the least.

The transformation magic was actually quite nice, warming even. I didn't bother looking at myself as I changed, who knows what weird shit would momentarily appear.

Then suddenly:

"THE PAIN!!!" before standing back up on all fours, acting as if nothing happened before cautiously looking down at my designated genitalia attaching point to see if I still held any mans pride and joy.

Luckily it was fine and I quickly withdrew my head back up to a level position.

I approached the cottage glancing around at the surrounding area, smiling at the small woodland creatures galabanting back into the trees. I'd get them later.

I decided music would do me some good in the department of entertainment and quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket with telekinesis before summoning a pair of large ear-covering headphones. When your halfway to almighty and power (Not to mention damn good looking.) you can do these things, free of charge.

I plugged the headphones into my phones' socket before unlocking the touch screen device, using the aid of a telekinetic finger to open my music folder quickly selecting a piece of music that fitted my situation quite well.

As I listened I walked into the house, considering the front door was open I practically felt invited.

The interior of the house was immaculate, reminding me of my grandparents old house I spent a large amount of time in as a kid. The entryway had an oak hardwood floor, a cream coloured wallpaper accenting it as it stuck to well... the wall.

I continued down the hallway into the left doorway which led into a cosy living room. Fireplace in the center of the far wall and various furnishing dotted across the floral patterned carpet.

I turned around and then carried on down the hallway, not noticing a faint noise coming from the upstairs landing. (Well obviously I wouldn't, I have headphones putting mashing a kaiser chiefs song into my brain).

I next walked into the kitchen not noticing anything of value apart from some sharpened silverware.

I then ended up walking into the bathroom... finding the shower still on... oh god the thought that just ran through my head.

"Stupid rule thirty-four." I mumbled.

I walked up to the washing implement, pushing the curtain aside... damn no mare taking a shower.

I quickly turned around and headed for the stairs, walking up them with un-expected ease. How the hell have I even been able to walk without one of the episodes of quadruped adaption that EVERY story, ever, features.

"Wait what was I thinking about? Meh, no matter." I said, honestly not caring, i'm mad, I do weird shit.

I reached the top of the stairs, only finding one doorway on the small landing.

The door was closed and I cautiously walked up to said door. I quickly brought my headphones down around my neck, freeing my ears from the present dubstep and tucked my phone into a quickly summoned black satchel.

I nudged at the door before opening it slowly, hoping for know creaks or noises. Luckily there were none and I was able to squeeze the front-half of my body from the gap to look around.

The room was in disarray and I could now hear a soft crying coming from a covert lump of duvet and sheets on the bed.

I walked into the room, trying to be as quiet as possible and luckily succeeding.

I was now at the foot of the bed and had a more simple job of identifying things, the first to be noticed being a blue hind leg sticking out from the mess of bedding.

I decided that I had to activate spider-mode. Dun! Dun! Dun!

I quickly backed up and soon reached the wall. I then starting moon-walking up the wall before reaching the ceiling and walking across that.

What's that I hear? Oh that's right. Badass alert!

I was now above the blue bed pony, ready to drop onto them when suddenly:

"GET THE PHONE YOU STUPID BITCH, COME ON!"

"Bollocks."

A/N: Might be a bit more serious, might not but anyway; Woohoo! New chapter and hopefully "Ve' shall reach ze' featured box! For whatever country this accent might sound like! Since I did some research and found that we had more views, faves, likes and what have you than another story that was in the featured box earlier to day. So hopefully that happens. I can also confirm that their will be a chapter every three days, if not I shall inform you why. Hope everyone likes! Also please comment if you wish and like if you fave! Tehmustachedbiscuit, self proclaimed insane badass, out! (Also inform me if we get featured box.)