The mare went stiff and silent, as if she was a deer or stag and I quickly reached for my mobile with telekinesis fumbling with the buttons and irritatedly taking out the battery when I realized that the mare was, inevitably, looking at me.

"One, two, three or four?" I asked, using a smooth a level-headed voice and allowing the words to roll off my tongue.

The mare was a blue unicorn with a silvery and un-kempt mane, pink pupils filling her large, inquisitive and bloodshot eyes. I couldn't see her cutie-mark but I was pretty damn sure that I knew who she was, and honestly at that I felt a pang of sympathy for the mare. The had her head tilted, not quite understanding the question.

"Pick one, wait, no. I mean one as in, One of the numbers in the selection. Please, for my sake, don't pick one." I said.

The mare visibly hesitated before giving her answer, obviously unsure whether she should trust me, the infiltraitor.

"Two." She whispered, her voice extremely horse, hehe, see what I did there?

"Ok, we'll do it the nice way then." I announced." My name my good mare is..." I paused, I hadn't come up with a name to blend in here for covert purposes thus far, so I just thought one up on the spot." Night... time?" I said, unsure.

"Why?"She croaked."Are you in my bedroom?"

"'Zat, is a very good question mah' very good mare." I praised, switching to a germanic accent for absolutely no reason whatsoever. "Ah, am in your bedroom because... Why was I in your bedroom?" I asked, using the time to think up a reason. Whacking someone on the head and then carrying them with you in a potato sack sounded like... It would be a brilliant idea!

I raised my hoof, ever so slowly, not a noise being made, making sure trixie had full attention on me.

"Trixie." I whispered.

"What?" She replied.

I pointed my hoof towards the doorway.

"Twilight Sparkle." I said.

Immediately Trixie sat up straight, bolt upright you might say, not moving at all.

"Trixie!" A purple, oh excuse me, lavender mare said in a suprised tone as she came through the doorway.

As I watched Twilight trot over to trixie and give a comforting hug, Trixie still in the same position, my horn set a glow, a smile creeping onto my face as a similar glow appeared next to me in two shapes. One was taking the form of a 'T' shape, the top becoming larger and more rounded. The other item grew larger and larger, the inside completely hollow. A menacing look was in my eyes, the colours switching from red to yellow every few seconds. Trixie had taken notice as soon as she had started, didn't matter though, she was still petrified by Twilight's consistent hug.

I slowly paced further and further forward, slowly closing the distance between my tar...gets.

I raised the rubber mallet high into the air.

"Say hello to my..." I looked up at the implement."Rather... large friend."

WHACK! WHACK!

Author's Note

Sorry I have not been around for a long time and sorry this is short, but I have been extremely short on time and creativity lately. But that has changed! I am back and ready to write these stupid escapades. So many jokes to install! Arrivierderci!