The Outside World

What am I? I’m a monster, that’s what I am. A cold blooded, love stealing monster. I’m one messed up living being. I can’t help it! I was raised to be one! I am a changeling. Yes, that horrid creature. That’s me. I hate being me. It’s a real pain. I’m a monster within monsters. I’m different from the rest. I don’t know why or what formed this monstrosity, but one thing is for sure, I’m different. Most changelings have those soul piercing eyes, pitch black body, and house fly-like wings and horrid sense of humor. I’m just the opposite. Wings like a pegasus, eyes of a pony, and worst of all a blue skinned body. I’m mocked every day from the other changelings. It all started in elementary school where the other changelings talked behind my back about me. They would always say “dude, what’s up with THAT girl?” and they would avoid me and never play with me during lunch time. The teachers never called on me when others raised their hooves, the principal was never on my side, my childhood was dark and horrible. I needed something to make it better. That something never came.

I never had anyone as a friend. They all thought I was too weird to even poke with a stick, which they rudely did occasionally. As a little changeling, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I always came home to my adoptive mother my head hung low with my heart destroyed. It couldn’t be more destroyed if you ran it over with a Zamboni. Sometimes I came home with bruises and cuts from getting beat up. Even my mother never really paid all the much attention to me. I was always denies my wants in life. “Can I have an Ipod?” “Can I go play outside?” “Can you buy me a stuffed animal?” and the answer was always “no, no, NO!”

I began to hate my life at middle school. I had reached the level of clinical depression at that state. I didn’t care anymore, I just wanted to sit at my table, by my lone self reading a book at lunch while other changelings laughed at me, beat me up, and threw food at me. I remember a lot of mashed potatoes. I cried every day, waiting and hoping that someone or something would make my life at least a little bit better. That person or thing never came. It hasn’t come yet even.

I’m nineteen now, my life still sucks, and I’ve been trapped in this stupid hive that we live in since my childhood. I don’t remember the outside. It must be beautiful. Where ever my real parents are in the real world, I want to find them. I have no idea of what the real world is like, how big it is, or how awesome it is. I’m stuck in a black, soulless, loveless, horrid hive.

Another thing that makes me strange is my personality. I see these evil changelings harassing, raping, and even killing their pony captives. Not before sucking all of the love they have right out of them. They kill them like it is a sport. Hell, it IS a sport to them! Innocent lives, gone in the blink of an eye without them having a say in it at all. They teach us it in high school! I was white at the thought of it! I couldn’t kill my victim. My fangs are sharp, like a changeling, but I haven’t the heart to do that! It’s grotesque and unnatural! The school got me help from the best teachers in the hive, but even they couldn’t make me. They even got the QUEEN to try and help me! The QUEEN! Queen Chrysalis! Yeah! You all know her! She failed to get me to do it as well! I refuse to do that for as long as I live. What if that pony has a family? A wife? A husband? A child? What will that family do, just bunch up and mourn their loved one’s death at our amusement? We are monsters. Grotesque creatures that are guilty of horrible crimes. I am ashamed to even be around such creatures, let alone be one!

We live under a strict monarchy, meaning that if you don’t follow the Queen’s orders, you get a trident shoved up your ass and thrown in jail. That’s where I am now, however I was joking about the trident thing, sure feels like it though. I’m in jail! I never thought I would end up here for not being like the others. Sitting in the cold corner, thinking about why I’m so different. I’ve been rotting in here for a few days now, waiting for it to be my turn to hit the dust. I’m supposed to be tested today. In only a few minutes. I don’t know what I’ll be tested for, but I know for sure that it’s going to be something I would never do.

…I hear footsteps coming my way, and they are quite in tune. Those must be the guards. What do I do? I… I’ve lost all hope. They are staring at me with their bloodthirsty, demonic eyes. They see me, yet their eyes can’t see anything. One speaks to me with a silent, unheard voice that was so clear it hurt.

“Get up. It’s time for you to see our queen for possibly the last time.” He says to me. I look up and gasp, but don’t say anything. This moment is the one I’ve been dreading. Nothing says you're gonna die quite like the words “last time” at the end of a nonexistent sentence. He continues to yell at me, as I remain shy.

“I said get up, you stupid brat!” the spiked demon says. He comes up to me and raises his hoof. As I look up at it, it comes down with a hateful slam. My head hurts now as it bleeds. I bleed not externally, but internally. My mind is rejecting that this is happening, crying itself to insanity.

He forcefully  grabs my hoof and hands the other one to a nearby guard. He tells him to “cuff her”. My hooves are violently hoof-cuffed together as they start carrying me down the hall. The walls stare depressed at me. The mounted heads on the royal hallway stare with their large eyes at me, yet they do not see anything. The one dimensional heads stray away from me as I am carried down the hall. I am being bombarded with blind eyes and deaf ears. The entry to hell was not far up the hall, and I was unprepared for the devastation that the world I only know of will see. The void to hell opens as the ferrymen without a boat bow before the devil herself. A misplaced soul lay in front of the devil as I am placed in front of it. The eyes of tomorrow retreat their helpful hand as I fail to reach it and begin to fall endlessly into eternal suffering. The devil looks down at me and squints angrily, like a spider to a webbed fly.

“Sillithus. You have failed to perform your duties as a changeling your entire life.” The devil began. Each word was a spear injected into my heart with unreal force. The spears kept coming. “I am your Queen. You will do as I say. There is a unicorn before you.” She points down without moving her body. A helpless, doomed soul lay before me, not knowing what was going on. She is the most lifeless alive body I have ever seen with my color-blessed eyes. I look back up at the devil, and she looks down at me. A struggle for power in which I have lost before I have started. She orders me to kill her without saying a word. I put my hoof on the unicorn and stroke her corrupted mane. She squirms with agony and I flinch and take my hoof off of the cursed being. I shake my head in denial. Even if it costs me my life, I shall not destroy a life not worth destroying. The only life I wish to destroy is the one that is already dead. The devil stomps her hoof and demands entertainment of her poor slave again.

“Sillithus! Kill her!” she orders. The statues in the room laugh and point at me without moving an inch. I remain defiant. I see fire around me, and it freezes me cold in place. The hive has never been so bright. The devil sighs in disappointing joy and insultingly apologizes.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to this.” She says. I can’t defy my childhood taskmaster any longer. I brace for the spears that she is about to throw at my body.

“Sillithus.” She begins. It is all I need to hear to realize what my punishment is. I am done for, I know it.

“You have wings of a Pegasus, eyes of a pony, magic of a unicorn, mane of an outsider, and the attitude of a friendly creature, yet you possess all of the powers of us, and a body rounded to fit the shape of us. I do not know your origin, and you do not know your origin. You are too different from us and we cannot find your place in this hive. You do not belong here. Therefore…” She pauses, as if taunting me. I am insulted, but at the same time thankful. An emotion that is quite new to me, yet I am scared to know what comes next. The devil opens her eyes once more and continues her message. “Therefore you are banned from this hive. You will forever learn to live on your own.”

I expected her to say death, however hearing this, I am even more scared than before. I’ve never even seen what I’m going up against, which is basic life! I act calm and collected, yet I am quite the opposite. I’m now doomed to a life where nobody will accept me. A life where nobody will love me. A life where Heaven’s hand strays away from my heart, forever casting me into poverty. I cannot survive this, yet I must, and there is nobody and nothing to help me along. I look around, seeing nothing but a bright green lamp and demons. The lamp is the brightest thing I have ever seen in my life, yet it is what makes the room darker than the color black itself.

I’m scared, watching as blue-eyed monsters walk up to me, three of them. One is holding a black object, but the light ejecting from it is making it too hard to see. They are getting closer, and as they do light feeds the dark mouth of Hell, cancelling out the green lamp. The darkness of the object the demon is holding is blinding me, making me squint. They now surround me, and I cannot think. My heart is panting, running for its life and my brain cannot process the situation. My eyes can no longer see through the blinding light, but I can feel the demons grabbing my arms. I can’t speak, but I want to. Suddenly, it all ends. The light flashes between white and black for milliseconds, and then stays black. I can no longer feel or hear.

What am I? I’m a monster, that’s what I am. A monster with no hope, no love, no affection. I’ve been this way since I was a child. I’m an outcast upon outcasts now. I am now being thrown out of my only home I know. I don’t know where I am, maybe not even out of Hell yet, but it all feels foreign now. I’m in a dark tunnel, and there is no exit but the unbreakable window behind me. A bright green light hits my eyes, and it hurts. I can’t turn back and I can’t move forward. Here I am, getting thrown into life with a hard shove, and it’s going to inevitably shove back, and shove back hard.