The Outside World

Am I conscious? I don’t know anymore. Who knows, it could all be just a simple dream. My reality is my dream, yet my dreams are dreams. Reality is broken and unfixable by even the greatest engineer of the mind. I’m looking around me and I’m seeing things. I’m unsure what they are, and what they are doing. Their arms are still, yet they make all the sound in the world. A fan is blowing in my face softly from a distance of which I cannot see it. The grounded tape sticks to me like an urchin, and I cannot get it all off. Green is all around me, but it’s not the green of the lamp, rather a new, quiet green that I cannot comprehend. Why am I crying? I do not know for sure, but something is making me sad. Am I scared of these new beings? My mind cannot decide, but my exterior body has already.

Of course! I’m scared that someone may find me! But why would I be scared of that? I’m alone in the darkness, looking up at the red dome above me. It fades into a lighter black, where I can see. What is that? It’s so dark I must squint to see it. A warm, indefinable box is coming up over the line, and I am more scared than I have ever been.

The box reminds me of the innocent soul that I was told to diminish. I cannot simply stand here and dawdle! I must head off! But where in this vast new ecosystem shall I go? There are no walls, no webs,  no devil, and no suffering. Someone will find me and execute me, I’m almost positive!

I must complete the only process I was taught correctly. I’m concentrating, and my head begins to hurt. After a colorless flash and a quiet electronical-like sound, I open my eyes. I am no different, but I feel different. My heart complains of my action as my brain argues its case to it. It keeps telling my heart “This is the right thing, this is the right thing”. I sure hope it’s correct.

I look at myself and I see an impostor. What a horrible feeling I have in my heart right now. I don’t understand life. Why is it so cruel to me? I find no satisfaction, no matter what I do or where I go. I’m God’s experiment and he’s watching over me, observing like a hawk. He doesn’t care about my suffering, He just wants to see how I handle it. Even God hates me, that’s how alone I am. I should be punished for stealing the image of a perfectly innocent creature. What is that on my edge? It’s on both sides! It appears to be a shining emerald, but why would it be there? So many questions, and nothing to answer them.

Walking through this place is about as friendly as being carried into that Hellhole that I lived in. I hear a scatter to my left. Turning, I see nothing but a green pile of mesh. I call out a simple “hello?” but nothing replies. I’m so nervous I can’t think. The red above me is shifting to blue, and the safe darkness starts to fade. That demon is taking away my safety! Of course, I do not know if I am safe in the first place, so that’s kind of a preposterous thing to think.

This line of tape is only what I am to assume to be a trail. I’m following it, making sounds with the tape. Some of it is sticking to me, some of it isn’t. I’m looking around, and I accidentally kick something. It rolls around with cracking sounds. I’m sweating and don’t know what to do. I creep up to it, my legs shaking. It doesn’t move. I put my hoof up to it once again and touch it. It still doesn’t move. A lightly flick it, making it move another couple inches across the brown tape. I squeal lightly and flinch backward, sliding across the tape as it takes a brush and paints my hooves to its favorite color. How do I avoid this thing? Will it kill me? Is it alive?

I run toward it as it sits still in place. I gather all the strength in my legs and jump over it. I quickly glance back. It sits there, staring at me with no eyes. I sigh in relief only to see another one not too far ahead. Godammit.

I now notice that I am completely exposed by the red devil in the sky. It’s peering over at me, the light of God peering into my soul. I don’t want this! Leave me alone!! I think to myself. I want to hide, but where to go? Nothing but strange creatures left and right. Are they all alive? Do they feel emotion or speak? I’ve tried talking and there’s no response. There’s no more options, though! I need to get away from that light-filled subject-stalker as fast as I can. Not knowing where I am going, I leap left into a green creature.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t get away from that thing up there. I apologize for bumping into you.” I say to the green creature. No response I can understand comes from it, rather a strange rustling sound. Was it attempting to communicate? How should I know? I’m an alien to these creatures. After realizing that it’s responses were just me answering myself every time I moved, I decide that it is not filled with life, such as the still creature I kicked. If something lives, it has to be able to communicate, correct? Bah, what do I know. I’ve been locked up in a hive for almost all of my life.

The red devil is still in sight and I continue to head whatever direction I am going. I am being bombarded with swords from the tape below me. These swords do not hurt, rather tickle me. Quite intriguing, if I do say so myself. I just hope that me stepping on them is not hurting them in any way, if they so happen to possess life. A harsh current of air hits my face again, most likely from the fan that I cannot see off in the distance. The air whistles through the swords and green giants with a brown body. Everything in this world is so diverse, even the giants look different in some ways. They have more arms than the other, or their hairs look different. None of them are able to move on their own, according to what I have noticed so far.

Oh? What’s this little thing on the ground? It’s… It’s moving! I take a step back and observe it for a minute. I edge closer and closer to it. It moves off needles sticking out of its body. It almost looks like the ADHD pills I always used to take in the morning during middle school. I very gently bring my hoof near it. It’s still moving about, minding its own business. I poke it gently with the tip of my hoof and it rolls up into a ball, as if retreating into a base.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” I gasp as I cover my mouth with my hoof in shame. I’ve scared something that could be my end. “Umm… I- I’ll just leave you be!” I say, trying to comfort the mini-fortress animal. It’s probably just me going insane. But one thing is for sure, I hear humming from somewhere not too far, and that’s not my imagination. Do I go investigate the humming? Who or whatever is humming has quite the beautiful voice if I do say so myself. “Curiosity killed the cat”, the saying goes. Something, however, is making me drawn to the music. I don’t know what it is, but my heart is telling me to go, and I always trust my heart over my brain… well… almost always.

As I get closer to the music, it gets louder and louder. However, the eyes of the giants are watching my every move, and I’m scared to get too close. However, my heart is saying there isn’t a too close. This is making me scared… again. I see the rays of the red devil up ahead yet again. The singing is coming from that opening, but how do I confront it? I must just get a tad closer, just to see what it’s coming from. I’m low on the ground, the tape is on my side, softening my hoof-steps. I come up on another green, shaky ball and peer through it. I can barely see anything, but I can make out an image of the scene. This picture that I look at, for some reason, is the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen.