Cheerilee Has Tourettes

Cheerilee Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Saturday morning... 11 am...

Cheerilee never usually slept in, even on a day off she was so used to getting up early for class. Today was an exception, she earned her rest. Her eyes slowly opened to look at the alarm clock next to her bed showing the time. She let out a yawn and got out of bed. She made her bed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

She debated with herself if she should eat breakfast or make lunch. "Meh... I can go without breakfast for one day." She told herself. She closed her pantry after taking the easy make macaroni and cheese cup. She added water then placed it in the microwave. She walked outside and got the mail and newspaper. It was such a nice day outside maybe she'll go for a nice walk. So far so good. She walked back inside and sat down while looking at the first page of the newspaper. Her eyes narrowed at the headline, "New Threat to Ponyville?"

"Around 11:30 PM Friday night, Rarity; owner of the Carousel Boutique returned home to find her home broken into but mostly her police report said that her own bathroom in a complete mess. Details are spared at the moment due to not being appropriate. Feeling violated, Rarity called the police immediately after finding a letter left by the Toilet Breaking Bandit. Police are still investigating the possibilities of why miss Rarity's bathroom has been targeted." Cheerilee read to herself. She looked up and frowned. Of all the things to make the front page. It was this stupid piece of news. She ignored the side article that read that Derpy Hooves somehow discovered a cure for cancer. Nope every pony was worried about the Toilet Breaking Bandit.

*DING*

Her macaroni and cheese was done. She pulled it out of the microwave and poured the powdered cheese on it. She stirred and stirred until it came out the way she wanted it. Television always calmed her nerves. She sat down on her purple recliner and turned on the news. "Let's see what the weather is today." She said to herself.

"This is channel seven with a breaking news report!"

"Oh fucking my!" Cheerilee said to herself.

"Good afternoon ponies in Ponyville, I'm News Flash outside of city hall. Apparently somehow, city hall was violated earlier today as in the same manner of Miss Rarity's store the Carousel Boutique. The restroom of city hall has been soiled, ravaged, and apparently left in unsanitary conditions. A note was left at the scene that says that city hall has been visited by the Toilet Breaking Bandit." A crowd naturally formed behind the news pony checking out the scene. Derpy Hooves was waving behind News Flash while Snips was waving his butt back and forth while Snails was chuckling like an idiot.

"What seems to be a juvenile act... has affected some of the ponies with trust. Not knowing who the bandit might be. It could even be your neighbors or even... your friends. I'm News Flash signing off."

The news report returned to its normal programming. Cheerilee missed the weather report. She turned it to the Life Time network as a commercial came on. "On Life Time for women. A television movie like no other. She was a single pony that tried to make ends meat by being a lawyer while taking care of two children that she had because she was raped in her teen years. Now she's with a stallion that beats her everyday with a rod. Follow her story as she learns courage to stand up for herself and be her own woman as well as having an affair. The story of Misty Clopper. Tonight at eight."

Cheerilee rolled her eyes, "These Life Time movies are all the same. It's either a woman getting raped, being pregnant, being abused by her husband, or having an affair." She smirked, "Those they mentioned a rod it might sound okay." Cheerilee decided that was enough for television for that moment then finished her macaroni and went outside for a nice walk. Along the way she ran into Pinkie Pie.

"HI MISS CHEERILEE!" Pinkie surprised her.

"CELESTIA FUCK!" Cheerilee shouted while she held her chest.

Pinkie Pie kept that stupid happy look on her face, "How you doing today?"

"Fucking dandy how are you?" Cheerilee brushed herself off.

"I'm doing awesome today!" Pinkie smiled, "Tonight we're going to have dinner at Twilight's at six! So if you're interested in coming please do!"

Cheerilee weighed her options. Dinner with friends or spend a quiet evening home alone. Then again these were ponies that understood her. She smiled, "Alright. Should I bring something?"

"Ofcourse! Every pony is bringing something!" Pinkie giggled.

"So what should I bring?" Cheerilee asked.

"We don't have any pony for mashed potatoes!" Pinkie laughed. "Make enough for probably ten to fifteen ponies!"

"Alright. Mashed potatoes it is." Cheerilee smiled.

Pinkie turned and left. Cheerilee spent the rest of the day at the park enjoying herself. No pony giving her the stink eye of disgust or sympathy. She fed the ducks. She bought an ice cream cone for herself. And figured she walk a bit more to burn off some calories. She arrived home she figured she start on the mashed potatoes. She looked in her pantry to find an unopened box. What luck. She mixed and stirred, mixed and stirred. She added a bit of chives to the mix and some butter to melt. It sure smelled good. She looked at the clock. It was almost time for the dinner party! She put on her best blouse, fixed her hair and make up. Then rushed out the door with her big pot of mashed potatoes. She arrived at Twilight's house just in time.

She knocked on the door. Twilight answered. "Oh hello Cheerilee. Thanks for coming!" Cheerilee enjoyed the welcome. Twilight allowed her in. "Put your food on the table with the rest alright?" Along the way she passed Apple Jack, Derpy, Bon Bon and Lyra. The usual crowd. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle said hello.

Cheerilee walked into the kitchen area. Whatever the other ponies made it sure smelt great. Or was it the thing that she made? She found a spot and placed it near the other food but found out something. "Hey what did every other pony bring by chance?"

Twilight pulled off a few of the tops, "Uh... apparently mashed potatoes." She smiled weakly, "Oh well. What did you bring?" She pulled off a few more tops, "Uh... guess we got more potatoes." She pulled more and more off to find out there was more mashed potatoes. Cheerilee grew confused yet frustrated while Twilight was trying to make heads or tails with this.

"What is this?" Cheerilee shouted. "SHITLOAD OF MASHED POTATOES DAY?"

"Just calm down Cheerilee I think there's a reasonable explanation for this." Twilight looked for Pinkie. "Pinkie when you invited ponies to the dinner tonight? You did cross off who was bring what right?"

Pinkie rubbed her chin then stopped, "Oops..."

Twilight frowned, "Oh sweet Celestia... Already my dinner is a disaster."

Pinkie smiled, "Well we can always order a pizza!"

Twilight sighed, "Fine..."

The night went on with pizza and the different kinds of mashed potatoes. Twilight planned for this night to be a party game night as well. There was pictionary, charades, truth or dare, and clue. Suddenly it started to rain outside. Along with thunder and lightning. Just then the power went out.

"HOLY SHIT!" Cheerilee shouted. She blushed, "Sorry..."

Suddenly there was a scream upstairs.

"HOLY SHIT AGAIN!" Cheerilee shouted.

"Rarity?" Twilight called.

Rarity ran down the stairs, she had a disgusted look on her face. She ran up to Twilight and breathed heavily. She pointed to the bathroom area, "I think you need to look at this." Twilight did so, every pony joined her and saw in the bathroom. It was a complete mess. The toilet was flooding all over the floor. Toilet paper wads stuck to the walls. And apparently someone tried to flush a copy of Popular Science down but got stuck. Also the head was cracked spraying water every where. On the floor, a note was left. You've been visited by the Toilet Breaking Bandit.

"OH MY CELESTIA!" Twilight shouted.

"No pony move! This is now a crime scene!" Dash shouted.

"I'll call the police!" Pinkie Pie tried the phone. Only to find out... "The line is dead."

The guests gasped.

"HOLY SHIT!" Cheerilee shouted.

"That storm outside is really picking up!" Apple Jack observed while looking outside the window.

The guests gasped again.

"HOLY SHIT!" Cheerilee shouted again.

"So it come to this..." Twilight said, "The Toilet Breaking Bandit wants to cause harm to our trust in each other. But I can a sure you something. The bandit has to be in this room and the bandit has to be one of us!" She brought a hoof down to the floor wanting justice.

"Why's that?" Dash asked.

"Because there's no window in my bathroom." Twilight pointed out.

"Please Twilight... catch that son of a bitch!" Rarity pleased.

"And like I said... there's no going in and out of here. The bandit has to be in this room." Twilight claimed.

"Any pony want more mashed potatoes?" Pinkie asked.