"Here I am again..." Cheerilee sighed. Again she stood in front of the school board officials. A half table stood across from her containing at least five well dressed earth ponies, mostly middle-aged but stern looking. In the center, the head official; Mayor Mare adjusted her glasses then let out a cough while she shuffled the papers in front of her.

"Pardon me." Mare excused herself. Instead of a professional way that every pony used to see, she placed her hooves under her chin for support. "So miss Cheerilee. Reason why we called you in again is because we heard some testimonies about a few unfortunate events that happened during school hours."

Cheerilee remained in her seat behind her own appointed desk. Again and again, pulled into the same office to explain herself while her condition would get the better of her. She could not fight it anymore, even more if she wanted to or tried. "Yes. Yes I know."

"Well. We want to go over them just in case." Mayor Mare flipped to the first page of the report. "I do not know how this is possible but apparently an accident during a field trip. You failed to tell a student to sit down and..." She adjusted her glasses, "To pull his bottom from the school bus window, instead a passing glass truck passed by and the student... well. I don't think I need to read the rest of this."

Cheerilee arched her neck forward to talk while her hooves crossed, "For the record, I did tell the student to sit down. I was about to march back there and pull his rear end from the window until the incident happened, matter of fact two parents also warned him. After that, his bottom was cut clear off. We had to stop the bus to find it, one of my students found it and had to rip it away from a coyote so we could get it re attached."

"The board would like to confirm that Mr. and Mrs. Cake's story matches." A grey stallion in a black suit sitting next to the mayor mentioned.

"Though does not help the students family tried to sue the school. Thank Luna that we settled." A yellow mare with a green mane brought up.

"Next case. Apparently, the same student mentioned before. Has been performing questionable behavior in the school bathroom." Mayor Mare read off the list. "You sent in a complaint quite a few times about the student vandalizing school property. But apparently, because of the previous law suit, if we try to suspend him his family would try to file another one."

"LITTLE SHIT IS BREAKING SCHOOL PROPERTY!" Cheerilee shouted, she shrieked and fell back to her seat covering her mouth.

"While I agree, the law is for some reason not in our favor because we have a teacher with a questionable condition still teaching." The grey stallion brought up.

"I'm still capable of teaching. The families and children of Ponyville accepted my disorder and continue living their lives." Cheerilee defended herself.

"But ever since we kept you on, incidents like these are up by... four hundred percent." The grey stallion scoffed.

"No offense, but because of Snips and his constant vandalism, you can't see that he's the real problem? He just loves pressing my buttons! Everyday since then, it was always him asking at dumb times. Can use the bathroom Miss Cheerilee? Every sticking day, every hour he's doing something stupid. Like last week, he threw a fire cracker and water was leaking everywhere. He tried covering it up with news paper. Then the next day he somehow filled the room up with water and when I opened up the door a tidal wave came in!"

"Any other stories?" The yellow mare asked.

"Yes. Because one time I did not let him go, his family's lawyer came to me the next day saying I have to let him use the bathroom no matter what or else the school might face a series of law suits. PIECE OF SHIT! Then he has the nerve to tell me that I keep an unfit classroom!" Cheerilee explained, "Then there was another time he could not leave the bathroom and I had to teach with the bathroom door open. The smell was so horrible, my student Sweetie Belle passed out from the smell! Heck he even summoned an urban legend through the bathroom mirror." With her hooves waving wildly, she really ramped up, "We even had a field trip to the Sugar Cube Corner. And guess what? Snips asked to use the bathroom and... well guess."

"Snips broke their toilet too?" The grey stallion asked.

"He somehow ripped their only toilet out of the wall. I don't know how he did it, he just did." Cheerilee explained, "How come no pony is doing something? ASS SANDWICH!"

"Because his family is quick to sue and somehow makes it our fault." The yellow mare frowned.

After a few more minutes of arguing. The school board just shook their heads, after many attempts Cheerilee would not budge from her place. Her words of, refusing to give up even if a student is misbehaving. The teacher pony thanked the board for giving her another evaluation and chance. She had the weekend to herself finally to enjoy herself as much as she could.

Monday morning. The start of a beautiful new week.

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I..."

"FOR FUCK SAKES SNIPS!" Cheerilee slammed her hooves on her desk. Her teeth gritted like rocks as she heaved in and out while her chest rose up and down.

"But I really got to go." The green unicorn twiddled his tiny hooves together innocently.

"NO YOU DO NOT!" Cheerilee hollered back as her eye twitched.

"YES I DO!" Snips hollered back.

Cheerilee gave herself a face palm and shook her head. Took a deep calming breath. Her green eyes opened slowly to see the familiar students in front of herself. Same as usual. They got used to their teacher shouting by now and treated it like it was no big deal anymore.

"Fine Snips. Go. But I will warn you." Cheerilee frowned, "You abused your bathroom breaks for far too long. It's not even eight thirty and already you're asking me if you can use the restroom. I would let you go without permission." The teacher scowled, "But seven out ten times you end up breaking the only toilet in this school in some form. Just last week you summoned an evil demon through the bathroom mirror and now every pony is too scared to go in there, even the janitor. Yet somehow you still ask."

"Hey Candy-Stallion is a nice pony once you get to know him." Snips defended himself.

"Snips he has hook for a hoof and has bees living inside of him. He is horrifying as shit!" Scootaloo threw her hooves up into the air and yelled.

"Scootaloo don't swear in my class." Cheerilee pointed out then twitched, "ASS!"

"Sorry Miss Cheerilee." Scootaloo apologized, the other children had a good laugh from their teacher's outburst.

"Matter of fact, that's him right dare!" Applebloom waved to the seat next to her. Occupied by a tall black stallion with boney features. Wears a black heavy coat. His eyes a deep black abyss color. His breath was easy to see as suddenly the temperature in the room somehow went down. A faint sound of buzzing was coming from him.

"Yeah why is attending class like the rest of us?" Rumble asked.

Candy-Stallion let out a low grueling voice, "I want to get my education." That voice sent chills down every pony's spine.

"Okay then." Cheerilee took a step back. "Got to remind myself to ask Twilight to do some holy spell to rid the bathroom of evil spirits."

"Can I still go?" Snips raised his hoof.

Cheerilee just could not win. "Go. Just... Go. But Snips?"

"Yeah?" Snips asked.

"I want a parent-teacher conference with your folks." Cheerilee replied.

"Okie-dokie." The little green unicorn scurried off into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Cheerilee let out a disappointed sigh. "Okay children. Might as well start today's lesson with cursive hoof writing." The teacher reached up above the bulletin board and pulled down the screen with her teeth to show off the cursive letters. "Now as you can see. Cursive is a lot like regular writing. You might have seen your parents or famous movie stars sign their names on things. Think of it as another way how to write. We will be starting it off easy by practicing the alphabet, starting with the letter..."

Just suddenly Cheerilee was disrupted by a loud rude noise from the bathroom. Trying not to deviate too far from her lesson, she ignored it and went on with the lesson, "Like I said before children this is how you make an upper case A and lower case A in cursive. In a way its roller coaster for your pencil."

"Wow." Scootaloo smiled.

"That sounds neat." Rumble grinned.

"Boring." Diamond Tiara sighed.

"PISS!" Cheerilee shouted as her eye twitched. Her students, either chuckled or remained silent, pretty much used to their teacher by now. Just then another loud rude noise erupted from the bathroom. The children laughed except for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Then suddenly another rude noise erupted. "SNIPS! STOP IT!"

"I HAD TACOS LAST NIGHT!" Snips yelled back. "OH DEAR CELESTIA! I CAN'T CONTROL IT!"

"Hey those don't sound like natural farts." Button Mash brought up.

"Then what do they sound like?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"You know when you put your hooves to your maw then blow really hard?" Button explained, he provided an example by blowing into his hoof. This caught Cheerilee's attention of course.

"Button Mash! For all we know he could have a serious problem." The teacher frowned.

"No he doesn't." Button Mash crossed his fore legs. Just then another huge fart ripped through the air and Snips moaned. "He hides a Joy Boy in there that's duct taped to the back of the toilet and sometimes orders pizza."

This made Cheerilee suddenly realize that it was a huge possibility. Because of her tourettes she really could not make a safe call that Snips could really be faking everything as she was already on thin ice more than enough times. Her once happy smile then changed to an annoyed grin.

"Excuse me children. For the next moments could you please be quiet?" The children nodded, they were just as annoyed of Snips as their teacher. She walked over to the door that lead to the bathroom and pressed her ear to the door. Waiting for something to give her a clue. Another few rounds of farts later she zeroed in on a peculiar sound.

*BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP*

"Alright an extra life." Snips said from inside. "Whoops. Hope no pony heard that." Another loud farting sound erupted.

The teacher pony's annoyed frown then bared teeth. "That is... IT!" And with that, Cheerilee tried gripping the doorknob with her hooves. Locked as usual. She shook her head angrily, "I'm done. DONE WITH THIS! SNIPS!" She banged on the door.

"What?" He called from inside.

"FINISH UP AND GET OUT HERE! YOU COCK!" Cheerilee shouted.

"Do I have to wash my hooves?" Snips asked.

"IT BE NICE!" The teacher growled.

Just then a huge flushing sound soared through the ears of the young ponies. Then the water running from the sink, scrubbing, scrubbing, then using the blow dryer. The door opened slowly as the green unicorn peeked his head out. The teacher looking down at him, no more games, no more funny business.

"Are you done?" Cheerilee frowned as her eye twitched, "FFffff..."

"Yeah." Snips nodded.

"We will talk after school. No more bathroom breaks for you for the rest of the day, I do not care anymore." The teacher snarled. "Now sit down in your seat... FAGGOT!"

The students started to laugh at Snips. Cheerilee then shouted, "SHUT UP BITCHES!" The students quieted down.

Later that day. Miss Cheerilee sat behind her desk grading papers as usual. The only student left was Snips, obviously in trouble. The clock slowly ticked, then tocked. Snips looked up at the clock, it was around three: fifty, his parents would be arriving shortly. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Just then there was a knock at the door. "Come in." Cheerilee called without looking up from the papers she was grading. "Snips, you might as well grab a chair and sit in front of my desk too."

And with that. Business went down. Cheerilee inspected Snips's parents from where she was sitting. Snips's father; was a very large earth pony and apparently looked like an older version of him, same mane color, same fur, same buck teeth, except also sporting a weird wide curly mustache.

"Thank you for coming uh... Mr. Snips." Cheerilee tried to smile. That was the weird thing about her student Snips. His last name was also Snips. Very original. "And you too Mrs. Snips." She eyed the student's mother up and down. A very, well, overweight unicorn female. Yellow fur, red curly hair, out dated framed glasses "Um... I see that you lost weight."

"Thanks for noticing." Mrs. Snips smiled while the sound of creaking was coming from her wooden chair.

"I'm going to cut to the chase and pretty much tell you about your son's behavior lately. Um." Cheerilee nodded, "Apparently, your son abuses his bathroom privileges."

"So?" Mr. Snips asked.

"So. From hearing stories of other children, Snips here does not use his bathroom times to actually go to the bathroom." Cheerilee explained, "Just today, I heard sounds of a video game coming from inside the restroom. Apparently, your son was playing games in there for I do not know how many times. And that's just one thing. Other times I walk in after he's done and... let's say he left a huge mess behind... on the walls."

"And?" Mrs. Snips asked.

"I could go on forever honestly." Cheerilee clapped her hooves together. "He orders pizza and has the pizza pony hand him the pizza through the little window. Caught him gambling, throwing bad graded papers down the toilet, lighting stuff on fire, goes inside the stall then locks it, then crawls out of it underneath. He took another students cape and clogged the toilet. He threw firecrackers down there, he ripped it out of the wall one time, he carved his name into the stall."

"That could be the other Snips." Snips brought up.

"There are no other Snips." Cheerilee frowned at her student, then back at his parents. "We let this slide way too many times, I knew we had some bad blood with you and the school board but... I'm all out of options. I'm suspending your son for the rest of the year until he can properly learn how to respect public property. Also, the school board is not going to be paying for anymore damage done to this school thanks to your son."

"Well. This is pretty serious." Mr. Snips frowned.

"It is." Cheerilee crossed her fore legs. "I know it might be rude to ask but what is your son like at home?"

"Well he's fat." Mr. Snips brought.

"Okay that's a little too much." Cheerilee frowned.

"Oh wait, sorry I thought you wanted me to describe him." Mr. Snips chuckled. "Well, he spends all his time in the bathroom."

"Not surprising." Cheerilee rolled her eyes.

"Actually his bedroom is a bathroom. We live in a tiny house, because its a cheap motel room." Mrs. Snips explained, "Snips never really had a bedroom of his own because our house was the cheapest we could afford. Even with two jobs for the each of us, we could only bring in so much. And with Snips getting his butt cut off recently, that really put us in the hole."

"Oh my..." Cheerilee continued to listen.

"I do not like having to put my son to bed in a bathtub." Mrs. Snips sighed. "And with my husband having to work odd hours, it really puts a strain on our relationship with our son."

Cheerilee looked over to Snips who was twiddling his hooves, "Is that true Snips? You wreck up the school bathroom because you hate your house?"

"It's true..." Snips sighed, "I hate it! I can never have any peace at home either! Every night I have to listen to ponies yelling next door or jumping on beds for some reason. It sucks!"

"Look Snips." Cheerilee sighed, "I'm sorry for your home life and how things are not working for your family. But that is no EXCUSE to destroy public property."

"Sorry to tell you this Miss Cheerilee, but even with the money we got from the settlement. It's not enough to turn things around." Mr. Snips explained, "But even with our son destroying property. We will hold up on our end as parents and punish him."

"Well. Next time, he breaks our toilet one more time. We're going to be sending you the bill, I'm sorry but the school board spent too much money fixing this place up." Cheerilee explained. "I will stand by my call on the suspension. And when he is ready, I will honor it."

"We understand." Mrs. Snips nodded.

"Just one more thing Miss Cheerilee?" Mr. Snips asked.

"Yes?" The teacher pony asked.

"Can I use the bathroom?" He asked.

Cheerilee felt her eye twitch the growled, "TOUGH SHIT DICK LICKER!"

The teacher flopped onto her bed after another hard day. She let out a torturous moan, "W-why?" From the short time from her coming back, few things have changed in town and in Equestria. The royal wedding, the Equestrian games coming up, even Twilight's coronation to princess. Still, life treated her unfairly.

"Why is this so hard now?" She asked herself, "Does fate just want me to quit?" She turned over as her eyes gazed onto a pamphlet sitting on her nightstand. She lazily reached for it and slid it to her face, "Crystal Kingdom huh? Probably time I take a vacation."

What's the worst that could happen?

Author's Note

With special guest appearances by Button Mash and Candy-Stallion.

yeah, another nonsense chapter. don't have to take it into canon if you don't want. la la la. toilet humor, shouting, more toilet humor, hopefully this stops... or will tourettes Cheerilee go Equestria Girls world to ruffle stuff up?