A Starlit Rainbow

CHAPTER 2

Twilight Sparkle was extremely conflicted; having thought that she could restrain her emotions permanently and wanting nothing more than to keep her relationship with Rainbow Dash stable, platonic and unchanging, Twilight found her own brilliant mind completely saturated with thoughts of the cyan pegasus. And seeing as her capacity for thoughts was well above and beyond that of the average pony, there was a considerable amount of them.

And each was as filthy as the last.

“UGH, DAMN IT!” she swore aloud, venting her anger by sparking her horn so hard that the air crackled with static; after leaving Spike downstairs when Rainbow left, Twilight had locked herself away in her room, silently cursing her own inability to control herself. Defeated, she flopped to her bed with an exhausted huff, her mind still churning over all manner of questionable visions and unwanted desires.

Why did this have to happen now?

Twilight knew full well that at this stage, she couldn't just simply keep on ignoring it, subverting it and outright denying it; that point had passed long ago, in fact, yet she still persisted to deliberately avoid the obvious conclusion. Even attempting to overwhelm the problem with sheer logic wasn't working, either; what was mere logic and cold intellect against a strong and tangible mental and physical reaction to another pony, anyway?

Reasoning with your inner demons isn't something that you can actually do, Twilight, and you know that better than most, she thought; it just tends to get you into insane and ridiculous situations and then Princess Celestia will have to come over and reprimand you for your stupidity yet again.

A few hours of this circular conflict made Twilight certain of only one thing; that she didn't really know what she wanted at all. It was, after all, perfectly possible for her to be happy with Rainbow Dash – and she knew that if she relied solely on her most raw emotions, she might even be crazy enough to try it. This loss of control terrified her; it was as if her own subconscious and imagination were conspiring to betray her, and the fact that she could no longer keep her head focused on anything but what her formerly dormant libido clearly lusted after was beginning to become exceptionally distressing.

It's not just that, though, is it, Twilight?

I'm scared.

Of what?

Rejection; I don't know whether or not there's a deep reason behind the fact that gay marriage has never been officially recognised in Equestria – and the matter simply never came up in any of my discussions with the Princess, or in any discussions with my... Parents...

Canterlot is renowned as one of the single most homophobic cities in the entire country.

I've lived there all my life, and so have my parents – and so does Celestia.

Above any loss of control, Twilight feared that because of her sexuality, she might be cast out.

I'll be branded as a fillyfooler, and then they won't love me any more. And then all I'll have will be Rainbow Dash. I risk bringing shame to the Princess, to my family, my brother – and I'd certainly not be able to show my face in Canterlot ever again. It affects my friends, too; Rarity, for example, could never risk being seen with me in public for the implications that might have upon her relationships with her clients who are based in the city...

She choked back a few premature tears and buried her face into her pillow, now even more confused and lost than she was when Rainbow Dash was actually sitting next to her.

“Rainbow, if you knew what you can do to me...” she muttered aloud, her voice muffled by the soft pillow in front of her face.

“Stupid, sexy Rainbow Dash... Stupid, stupid Twilight!”

She bit into the pillow, grabbing it with her teeth and spinning round, rapidly flinging it into the air and blasting at it wildly with poorly aimed bolts of purple magic. It flopped to the floor fully in-tact with a thoroughly dissatisfying thud, as Twilight stared – in silence once more – at the point where it had impacted the ground.

I need her. I need her so much... more than anything. Is it not worth it? To experience something so great as love? If it's worth having, then surely it's worth fighting for?

She breathed softly, hanging her head and shutting her eyes.

Surely Rainbow Dash is worth fighting for?

But Twilight just couldn't bring herself to risk rejection; not from her parents, not from Celestia, not from her friends – and certainly not from Dash. What if she said no? What if one of Twilight's best friends was totally driven away from her by the mere thought that she might be attracted to her? What if their relationship simply just didn't work out?

Going back to the start after permanently screwing things up with Rainbow would be an absolute nightmare for both of them. I can't do that to myself, she thought; even though Dash would probably be able to deal with it, I'm just... not strong enough...

Twilight chided herself for her own cowardice, this time speaking aloud, ensuring that her mind was truly listening to itself before continuing;

“Snap out of it, Twilight; this line of thinking is self-destructive, and you know it; just... talk to her.”

And risk losing her forever?

“Shut up; I can cope, and our friendships have survived through worse.”

She shivered at an uncomfortable memory of the Discord incident.

I can't lose her like I almost did then.

“I won't lose her. I won't let that happen.”

But first, she had to talk to Rainbow – bare all and hope for the best.

Don't do this...

“I am in love with Rainbow Dash.”

You stupid mare.

“I AM IN LOVE WITH RAINBOW DASH!” she shouted, stomping a hoof and clearing her mind of all nagging doubts and negativity. With a new-found sense of determination and a firm resolve, she strode to the door, ripping it open with her magic, and looked outwards into the library. Tomorrow, she thought, trotting to the stairs; tomorrow, I will tell her.

*cough*

Twilight froze mid-step in surprise, her eyes darting from left to right, attempting to place the source of the alien noise – and as she closed her bedroom door behind her using her magic, she saw a certain purple dragon lurking in the shadows behind it, his facial expression a mirror image of Twilight's own look of shock horror.

Shit.

“Uh... hi, Twi!” Spike stammered clumsily, sneakily making a quick beeline for the stairs next to the purple unicorn; “Gottarunbye~!”

“SPIKE!” Twilight hollered, freezing him in a lavender glow of magic.

“Um... heh... *gulp* Yes... Twilight?” he replied with a forced, toothy grin.

“How much did you hear?” she snapped at him, making the dragon flinch and his grin turn to something of a grimace;

“I... Look, Twilight, I'm sorry, but you sort of shouted that last part-”

“You were spying on me!”, she interjected.

“I came to ask you if you wanted anything to eat!”

As Spike spoke, Twilight's look of aggression loosened, replaced with one of apology and embarrassment;

“You'd been in that room for hours, Twi; I was beginning to worry about you, that's all – and I wasn't exactly expecting... y'know...”

Twilight sighed dejectedly, bowing her head and releasing spike from her magical grasp. After a few seconds, he spoke again;

“So... is it true?”

“It what true?”

“Are you... in love with Rainbow Dash?”

She looked at him briefly, and giggled a little, a small smile returning to her face as she replied determinedly;

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

Spike stood on the stairs, looking up at his friend in stunned silence, fidgeting with his claws and occasionally glancing down at the floor in front of him.

“Spike, you have to promise me that you won't tell anypony until I'm ready to.”

“Twilight...” he trailed off, deliberately avoiding looking her in the eye.

“Please, Spike.”

“... Fine.”

“Tomorrow; I’ll tell her tomorrow. Maybe she’ll be at the Running of the Leaves celebration, or something...”

The small dragon relaxed somewhat, and stepped forward to hug his unicorn friend. He often worried about Twilight’s mental health; she had a habit of sending her own thoughts spiraling and tumbling down dark pits, and involuntarily keeping them there until somepony else intervened. That one time with the Want-It-Need-It spell was outright destructive and borderline criminal - and now that her deepest emotions were involving themselves in her decisions, there was a huge risk of something similar or worse happening in this instance. Spike winced a little at the thought; Celestia had told him in confidence a few months after that event that she was barely able to curb the fury of the politicians who wanted Twilight branded as a dangerous magic abuser - and that he knew that even more volatile emotions were at play here terrified him.

If only she knew, he thought; if only she knew how she makes others as worried as she is.

“I’m sorry, Spike, it’s just that I’ve never felt anything like this for another pony before... and I didn’t expect it to be with another mare, much less with Rainbow Dash...”

They broke their embrace and walked downstairs, noting that the sky was tinged with the burnt-orange sheen of fading sunlight. Twilight smirked; night was about to fall, and that meant that the time of her confession to Rainbow was drawing ever-closer;

Just one night; just one night remains.

And unbeknownst to both mare and dragon, a new player was about to enter the fray.

**THUD**

An almighty, thunderous crash came from the roof of the tree, and both Twilight and Spike froze; slowly, they turned and looked at eachother, and Twilight whispered; “What... was that?”

As if answering, an indigo trickle of powdery dust slithered into the library through an open window, pooling in the middle of the carpet.

“Twilight, do something!”

Readying her horn, Twilight took an aggressive stance against the sparkling mass of bluey-purple that occupied the middle of the carpet - and as it began to take form, a familiar ethereal wind began to whistle through the library and chill the air. In a sudden flash of explosive magic, the wind ceased immediately - and in the place of the creature that had intruded only a few seconds earlier was a rather unimpressed-looking alicorn.

Twilight promptly cut off the magic to her horn.

“P-Princess Luna! What are you doing he- I mean, uh... what a pleasant surprise!” she stuttered, stumbling over her words.

Luna smirked a little, and let out a light laugh; “Thank you, Twilight Sparkle - and as I’ve said before, you may call me Luna.”

“Yes... o-of course” came the surprised reply.

Spike was still standing agape, peeking out from behind Twilight at the princess who had literally just materialised in the middle of the living room.

Luna smiled and waved at him in a bid to quell the nervous atmosphere. It didn’t work.

“I’m here on strictly unofficial business”, she said, making sure to use the modern Equestrian that she’d tried to learn from her sister; “well, it’s actually not really business at all; more of a... vacation, of sorts.”

No reaction. She continued; “I... apologise for not telling you that I’d be coming, but Celestia almost forced me out of the castle earlier on today, and I decided to fly here myself...”

Twilight snapped out of her daze, regaining her composure, and replied; “Of course, it’s fine! We were just a little... surprised to see you, is all.”

Spiked chimed in too, now smiling; “Yeah, it’s not every day that a Princess lands on your roof!”

Although, he noted; it has happened before...

• ~ -

Darkness had fallen over Equestria. The cloudless night framed the stars as they twinkled like silver teardrops in the pitch-black sky, as a cool autumnal breeze whispered through the trees and streets. As the lights of the usually busy town faded and ponies began to fall asleep, a serene silence settled over Ponyville - and even the Princess of the Night herself had elected to follow her sister’s advice (for once) and take a nap in preparation for tomorrow’s festival. All was quiet, and all was peaceful.

One troubled pony, however, could not find any comfort in sleep:

“That’s really sweet of you, but can’t we just be friends?”

“It’s not going to work out; I think that we should stop seeing each other.”

“You disgust me! I hate you, and I never want to see you again!”

Please, stop... Twilight, don’t do this to me...

“You see? If you keep on hanging out with these losers, then you’ll eventually become one - just like I’d always said.”

No, Gilda, not you too.

“Well, if it is little miss washed-up failure herself; Rainbow Crash! How does it feel to be a complete reject?”

Shut up...

“Get the hell out of my house before I break your neck, you stupid little fillyfooler! Your father always hated you; he left because he saw this coming! Most people run a mile the second they clap eyes on your freakish, ugly mane - but I was foolish enough to stick around for the ride, and how do you repay me? By bringing another mare into my house and... Ugh! I don’t even want to disgrace myself by saying it; just get out! GET OUT!”

GET AWAY FROM ME!

Rainbow Dash swiped angrily at the ghostly apparitions that had surrounded her, each of them exploding into thick, black smoke that smothered her and choked the air. Voices, taunts, insults and memories rang through her mind, the screams of her own thoughts deafening her despite the shouting having long since ceased. She fell to the floor and tried to crawl away, but the smoke seemed to surround and envelop her, whipping viciously at the back of her throat and stifling her futile cries. Black tendrils erupted from the cloudy mass, binding her wings at squeezing her body until she was unable even to thrash around.

Help... help me...

She could only lie there, beaten and asphyxiated, the voices consuming her every thought as she cried silently into the darkness.

“CEASE!”

An alien voice bellowed into the black smoke, and in a sudden frenzy, the tendrils retracted and the thick smog dissipated almost instantly. Rainbow remained in a stunned, weeping mess on the cold, hard floor in front of the newcomer.

“It’s alright, Rainbow Dash. It was just a nightmare; you’re safe now.”

Rainbow began to scrape herself up off the floor slowly, still shivering with fear, and looked at her saviour;

“Wh... Princess Luna? What are you doing here?”

“You called for help.”

The cyan pegasus was somewhat puzzled at this; she was barely able to breathe a few moments ago, let alone call for help.

“No I di-”

A sudden realisation hit her.

She can read my thoughts?

“No, Rainbow, I can’t read your thoughts. I can, however, detect distress in dreams - and that’s a part of my duty as Princess of the Night.”

Rainbow gaped.

“Well... whatever you did, thank you. I thought that I was going to die back there...”

“I’m just doing my job - and to be honest, it was just a dream, and you were never in any real danger.”

A silence fell between them, as Rainbow Dash pawed at the ground awkwardly.

“So...” She trailed off.

“Twilight Sparkle.” Luna said, knowingly; “I’m at her library at the moment, actually. She obviously means a lot to you-”

“Please, Luna, you can’t tell her... Not yet.”

Luna smiled sympathetically and continued; “I wouldn’t do anything of the sort. I must say, though, she was acting a little... suspiciously.”

“Suspiciously?”

“Earlier on this evening, I mean. I don’t think that she’s having a nightmare right now, though it’s entirely possible that she’s still awake.”

Luna ruffled her wings, preparing to fly off into the night and back to her own dreams. She looked up at the distant moon and sighed contentedly. Confused, Rainbow cocked her head at the princess, who looked down at her and spoke; “I think that I’ve done enough here. I must depart, Rainbow Dash; there are other matters that need to be tended to before this night is over.”

And with that, she took off into the sky, leaving the pegasus puzzled as she watched from below. As Luna’s precise, graceful wing-beats took her closer to the moon, she began to dissolve into a sparkling, blue dust-like substance, and faded into the blackness as the wind carried her away. Slowly, the dream-world began to collapse; the moon and clouds fizzed and faded into nothingness, and the walls and floor of the fabricated reality started to fall away. Rainbow found herself being shifted by the invisible winds that reshaped the landscape, as they laid her down on the undulating, distorted surface of the ground beneath her.

She closed her eyes almost involuntarily, and when she reopened them, she was back in her bed; the reassuringly familiar sight of clouds and Wonderbolts posters comforted her somewhat, and she slid out of the now sweat-soaked covers. The first lights of dawn were beginning to seep through the curtains, and Rainbow knew that after a dream as wild as that one, returning to sleep was going to be an impossible task.

Walking over to the curtains and pulling them back, she observed the world outside her window; Ponyville was relatively empty, owing to the fact that it was still a ridiculously early hour of the morning. Although it was a beautiful sight, the sun’s near-blinding light struck Rainbow like a hammer to the snout, and she stumbled backwards, rubbing her eyes and cursing her lack of caution.

“Damn it...” she mumbled, deciding that it was perhaps best to stay well away from any kind of light source when she was still this tired.

“No offence, Celestia...” she stepped out of her bedroom and began to make her way to the kitchen to get something to eat; “... but the sun is way too bright.”

Finding the fridge mostly empty, she sighed, settling on a leftover can of cold coffee.

Today is the day.

Rainbow tugged at the seal with her teeth, the can giving a faint hiss as the pressure released.

And I still have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do about Twilight.

She downed the coffee in a single shot.