Bond's interestingly amazing journey to the land of the pone

Bond walked to the entrance of the forest. He looked around a bit at first, and called M.

“M, I’m here, any idea where he is in here?”, asked Bond pressing his earphone.

“The target is in the forest. Find the given person and eliminate him with, the weapon”, M replied.

“So I assume you don’t know better than me then. But, do you mean... the weapon?”, Asked Bond and felt his pocket where was weapon with nuclear bomb bullets in it.

“Yes, the weapon of nuclear bomb bullets! He is too big threat so we must nuclear him into nothingess”, said M harshly.

“Okay M, this sounds like about the stupidest idea you’ve had, but you’re the boss”, said Bond and walked deeper into forest where his target was supposed to reside.

When Bond was deeper in the forest, he looked around him, but he saw nothing but trees, but he saw a house, but it was just a mirage because he was so thirsty. “Damn I’m thirsty, I should drink from that pond which is in there. Hehe, James Pond...”, he thought and walked towards the pond which was filled with lemonade.

“Why is this pond filled with lemonade?”, he thought and looked to the pond.

But then enemy jumped on his back! The enemy grabbed him in the headlock, and said, “Bond, I am your target, I have plans to bomb America and Asia and Europe and Australia and Africa and North Pole”

“Why not South Pole?” Inquired Bond as he tried to struggle from the target’s grasp.

“Because they call me the penguin. Because of my stubby feet. I can’t bomb my fellows!”, he said and tightened his grab.

“I see!”. Then Bond noticed that the bad guy on his back had really stubby legs! He decided to use it for his advantage and leaned forwards lifting the attacker from ground.

“Oh nooooooo!”, said villain as his legs lift from the ground. Then Bond threw him on his back.

“Now I must kill you, Penguin!”, said Bond and took his nuclear bomb pistol!

“Nuclear bombs, my only weakness!” Yelled enemy when he saw the gun.

Bond fired his weapon at the guy, but the blast was so big that Bond flew backwards, into the pond of lemonade behind him. “How about that, the whole forest is on fire, I’m trapped.”, thought Bond as soon as he saw that the nuclear bomb had apparently lit the whole place on fire too. “I can see that this pond leads to some cave, it is my best bet for escape”, he thought and dove into the pond.

To skip all the boring bits, Bond came out of other pond to which the underwater cave led to. “M, where am I?”, he asked and pressed his earphone. it didn’t work because it was filled with lemonade. “hmm, it must be filled with lemonade”, he thought and walked forwards. He was very sticky because he was filled with lemonade too. But he wasn’t thirsty anymore.

After much walking he came to a village. It was filled with walking and talking ponies. “Huh, didn’t see that one coming.”, thought Bond.

“Hello sir, you don’t look like you’re from here”, said a purple unicorn who had appeared next to Bond, literally out of nothing.

“Ma'am, that’s racist.”, said bond with serious look on his face. “But no, I’m not. Name's Bond, James Bond. I have emerged from a pond made of pure lemonade, to which I escaped after exploding a nuclear bomb.”

“Huh, didn’t see that one coming.”, thought the purple unicorn. “Well, what do you plan doing here? You won’t explode our world too, will you?”

“No promises.”, said Bond and walked to the center of the village. “Take me to your leader, I have official business.”, he demanded and showed his badge

“Do you mean our Mayor”, asked Purple pony as she walked in front of Bond, James Bond.

“That’ll do.”

“Okay, I’m Twilight by the way, Twilight Sparkle. Just follow me”, she said with beaming smile, and trotted towards the city hall

Bond walked after her and checked Twi’s butt. “Not bad for an alien.”, he thought.

When they were walking towards city hall, a pink pony, out of nowhere again! “What are you? You’re not a pony, are you? You would be rather weird looking pony if you were one! Besides, I’ve never seen you before, you’re not from here, you’re new!”

“Is having prejudices really this common here, nice butt?” asked Bond without his face stirring.

“No! Pinkie, please shut up. Yeah he’s new. Bond, Pinkie, Pinkie, Bond. Now go fix your welcoming party already and leave him alone!”, grunted Twilight worried.

“Party? I have one right here!” She shouted and pulled away from Bond, who’s crotch she was licking. Because it was frosted with lemonade. Then she pulled a cart from her bottom. She pressed a button on it and confetti and party hats and trumpets and other party stuff flew around. “Welcome welcome welcome, a fine welc-!”, did Pinkie say before Twilight shoved a hoof in her mouth.

Bond adjusted the party hat that had landed on his head. “Can you fix martinis?”

The pink pony quickly waggled her head up and down gleefully, but after some thinking she shook her head from side to side, with hoof still in her mouth.

“Right, it’s three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?”, explained Bond to the pony

The purple pony took her hoof out of Pinkie’s mouth, and asked Bond, “Weren’t we just in a rush mister Bond?”

“Relax, there’s always time for a drink, I’ll pay you too”, said Bond with a small smirk

“Fine, but not like she will accept any payment anyway”, she said and plopped her butt on the ground.

Pink pony was head first to the cart, “I don’t think I have those things. What are they exactly? I thought I had every kind of party equipment ready! I have lemons though, do you want lemons?”, said she in disbelief

“Boy am I glad you asked, because that line wasn’t just copied straight from wikipedia or something”, he said. “I’m not surprised you don’t have them, this is like an alien planet for me anyway”

“I’m not alien, I’m a pony!” Said the pink pony with a wide smile.

“Figures. If you’re a pony, can I ride you?”, he asked

“Oh mister Bond! We should get to know each other first!”, she said and threw herself in Bond’s arms.

Then Twilight jumped up and quickly interrupted Bond's response. “Bond! Didn’t you say you have official business with Mayor? You know, badges and all!”

“It’s not that busy.” He said. But after he turned and saw Twilight’s annoyed face, he added, “...but as they say, work before play”, and dropped the pony on his arms to the ground.

“Call me!”, shouted Pinkie after them as they continued their walk towards the city hall.