Captain's Travels

"Not that I don't enjoy these little get-togethers of ours Princess, but why's it always in this crappy, dark field?" Captain asked as the familiar pair sat in a darkened meadow.

"Please call me Luna, as for the locale, this is your dream, you tell me." responded the princess of the night.

"This is my subconscious mind telling me that I'm a dark, and tortured soul who only seeks tranquility, and peace of mind."

Captain's answer drew a chuckle from the princess of the night.

"No, this is simply the template which all dreamers begin with. You may change it at any time to suite your desires, actually I was wondering why you hadn't changed it earlier."

"So you're telling me that I can control this place on a whim?" the man asked with a wide smile.

"If I say, yes, will I regret the outcome."

"Maybe a little."

"Then who am I to deny a dreamer."

Captain concentrated for a moment before snapping his fingers. The world around them dissolved away, and was replaced be a vast expanse of ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. Luna gazed at the sight for a moment before it all dissolved into a torrent of salty sea water. The lunar princess sputtered and gasped struggling to stay afloat in the crashing waves.

"Need a hand?" Captain asked condescendingly from the edge of a white fishing vessel.

Luna's horn only flared, and she was next to the human currently failing to suppress a fit of giggles. Her coat stuck to her hide, and her mane hung limply down as opposed to the ethereal billowing it usually did. With another burst of magic, she was back to her regal self. A sharp glare from her cut Captain's stream of snickers.

"Where, pray tell, are we now?" she asked irritably.

"Well, I figure that this is one of my few memories worth reliving."

Luna looked around, and saw what he was talking about. The two were sitting on a white boat, on the blue green waters as an engine rumbled in the background. The spray caused by the waves crashing against the hull of the ship felt lovely, the sun hung lazily and low in the cloudless sky. As the princess of the night was mystified by the sight around her she noticed a slightly younger looking Captain, and another who shared more than a passing resemblance to the human standing besides her.

"May I ask who that is?"

"That would be my brother," Captain said with a twinge of melancholy in his voice.

"Is he..."

"What? No my brother's still alive and kicking, along with my mom and dad, and sisters, and-"

"You need not continue, I can sense that is a sensitive subject for you right now."

"Thanks, I guess." Captain could've sworn he heard a door creak open at that moment.

"Where are we exactly?" Luna asked as Captain walked into the cabin of the ship.

"I can't exactly tell you the latitude and longitude, but I can tell you that we are currently cruising somewhere in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico." Captain stepped out of the cabin with a pair of cups filled with a yellow mound of ice topped with a bright red powder; a spoon stuck out of each. "Calm down it's not lemon flavor."

"What are these things?" the dream walker asked.

"A pineapple shaved-ice topped with some chilli powder. You said I could do anything right? I just hope that these taste right."

Luna took one in her telekinetic grasp, and reluctantly took a bite. The cool sweet pineapple mixed well with the bite of the powder, even the flakes of ice were present. Better than expected, she thought. "Most people cannot imagine such fine details their first time dreaming such as this, so how are you able to?" she asked as she took another bite.

"Well, driving in circles, you get a lot of time to daydream. So I guess that's it." Captain could hear a pair of whispers in the distance, but ignored them.

"Impressive even the most skilled Dream Walkers take years to build such detailed sets."

"I get a lot of time to daydream," he said as he rubbed his side. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

The next thing he knew, Captain was clutching his head as though it had been ripped out from the inside with a white-hot steel rod. To his left stood a grinning Nightshade holding a stick between his forelegs, and grasping a scroll in his teeth. On his right lay the princess of the night spralled out on the floor groaning occasionally.

"Hail Monsher," said Nightshade before he spat out the scroll.

"What the hell are you doing here?" asked Captain.

"I bring a summons from Princess Celestia, Monster."

"Frist off, call me Captain; secondly why was your first instinct to thwack me in the head with a stick!?"

"I didn't 'thwack' you, I poked you gently in the face. You were mumbling something about pineapples, and then you started grabbing your head and screaming," the bat-pony replied innocently.

"Alright, but that still doesn't explain why my head feels like someone tried to lobotomize me on a drillpress."

Before Captain could continue his rant, an exceptionally loud groan from the lunar princess drew both of their attentions to her semiconscious body.

"What were you doing with Princess Luna you pervert!?"

"She told me that she was off doing princess-y things. I didn't think that she was watching me sleep," Captain replied, shock coloring his face.

"You are correct Captain," Luna said as she stood once more on four shaky hooves. "I was doing 'princess-y things' as you stated so eloquently. Before our interruption," she shot a glance at Nightshade, who shrank away, " I was overseeing the dreams of all of the little ponies."

"So then why does it feel like I was skull-fucked by Ron Jeremy wearing a spiked condom?"

The Princess looked at Nightshade, before shooting a look at Captain who immediately took it as a sign to keep his language down.

"The reason for that, is that I was literally ripped from your head. It happen when one wakes when I am in their dreams."

"Good to know, I guess." Captain turned his attention to the delivery colt. "What was that about a letter from Celestia, and was there someone else in here with you?"

"Oh you mean Amethyst. Yeah, she ran out when you started screaming like a little filly. Also," Nightshade started as he picked up the scroll with a hoof, "Princess Celestia sends for you."

Captain turned his attention back to Luna. "Have you guys never heard about child labor laws?"

The lunar princess only shrugged. Captain picked up the damp scroll, rolled it open, and began to read.

Dear Captain,

I Princess Celestia request your presence immediately. There are matters of great importance which I must discuss with you. Please meet me in the main throne room alone, you may have Nightshade escort you, but please come here immediately. I am well aware of the late hour, but I hope that you may still attend this evening.

HRH Princess Celestia.

"Damn what time is it?" Captain asked as he pulled his phone from his pocket. Just past midnight, he noted.

"Captain, I ask that you inform me of my sister's intentions once this business has been completed," the princess of the night pleaded.

"Let's see what she has to say first." Captain responded.

"I'll lead the way!" Shouted Nightshade.

"Nononono! I'm sure that the Princess needs an escort back to her study. I will be fine," added Captain in a single breath.

"You sure?" Nightshade asked skeptically.

"Yes," said Luna, "your princess requires an escort. Now let us depart, and go find Amethyst before your father's shift ends."

"Okay," mumbled the bat-pony colt.

When the two had left, Captain grabbed his phone, boots, hatchet, and glasses, and set off to the throne room.

His heavy footfalls echoed throughout the empty halls, an erie mirror as opposed to the daylight hours. Torches hung between columns, cackling softly in the ambient darkness, hungrily devouring the wood that fed them. A knot in the rug caused him to trip a bit, and a small squeak to come from behind. The man spun around, and saw an grayish-brown unicorn filly frozen in the torchlight. He took a step forward, only for the filly to dash off. The man dismissed this, and kept walking.

Once Captain reached the massive doors, he grabbed one enormous handle in his hand, and pulled with all his might. At first nothing happened, after a second though the doors began to creak and groan, eventually opening enough for him to squeeze through.

Taking a step inside he noticed something strange, sitting on the large ornate throne was Princess Celestia,  and besides her sat a bottle of wine alongside a pair of glasses. The princess levitated both glasses, each filled to the brim with a scarlet liquid, and downed them in a single gulp. As Captain inched closer, he could make out a soft low repetitive sound. She was sobbing, the immortal demi-god ruler of the most powerful country on the planet was crying.

"Are you alright?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, I'm fine." When the princess looked up, Captain could make out a strong blush in her cheeks. "I called you here to explain a few things," she said with a small hiccup, "I am well aware of the tale which my sister has told you." A cold sweat began to trickle down the man's back as hairs stood on end, and his heart pounded. "Now that you have heard that story, I have only one thing to say to you."

I knew it, im going to die, the man thought morosely to himself.

"Please forgive me," she pleaded behind tear stained eyes.

"What?" he asked feebly.

"Please forgive us Captain. All of the things that Luna had said were all true. I did enjoy myself. I enjoyed the pain and torture that I was able to inflict on Luna that day without any form of consequence. Only it did have consequence,  I lost my sister for a thousand years, and she was still consumed by the darkness when she returned."

"So you want me to forgive you?" He asked slowly.

"Yes."

"For what, for being human.... er equine."

"What?" asked the princess of the sun.

"There's nothing to forgive. All you did was give into your base instincts, and let loose." Captain's eyes narrowed, and he placed a hand on his hips, "but if I ever hear about something like that happening again, I'll have to end you myself," he said darkly, as he took out his hatchet.

"But it felt as though there was some sort of-"

"Darkness," Captain finished, placing his hatchet back into his beltloop. "A large pit of hate, and pain, and anger that you just wanted to dive into, and never crawl out of. Like you feel that it will make all of the sadness go away, and power will take its place. Don't worry, you're not the only one standing above that particular cliff."

"But-"

"But nothing, it is our job as sentient beings to be able to look into the abyss, and not want a damn thing from it. That is what we must struggle with, and that is where we draw the line. You got me?"

"Yes I do belive that I understand," Celestia finished with a sniff.

"Good," Captain said with a smirk. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some beauty sleep to catch up on."

"Actually Captain, there is  one other matter I would like your help with. As you have no doubt guessed, you are not the only thing to have been brought here by the storm, and I would like your help in identifying some of these objects."

"Of course, please lead the way."

The solar princess stood with a wobble, and a misstep, but soon regained her composure. A steady gait led them to one of the farther corners of the castle.

"So Princess," Captain began, "what sorts of things have been brought by the storm, other people perhaps?"

"No, it appears that you are the only human to have arrived thus far, and hopefully the last. We wouldn't want to cause a scare among the populace with thinking that alien creatures were planing to invade."

"Well that's good I guess that's good, wouldn't want to start a war or anything."

"Here we are," Celestia said as they reached a brick wall in the middle of an arbitrary hall.

"I think that the booze may have messed with your head a bit, this is a wall."

"Ah, but you see, this is simply a ruse to fool would be intruders." With a golden flare of her horn and a slight creak, a seam appeared on the wall becoming the outline of a large door.

"Is that a door?" asked Captain.

"How very perceptive of you. Come quickly, we have no time to dawddle there is much I wish to ask you about."

Princess Celestia pried open the door hidden in the wall, and led the way down a slightly cramped, dimly-lit, winding staircase. Before Captain had taken two steps inside, the door closed, and crystals embedded in the ceiling lit up. It smelled dank, and musty obviously from years of neglect. Soon enough, their trek came to an end at a large iron door. Even in the dim light, Captain could see thick red dust on the floor, and smell a familiar scent fill the air. It was like an old face he couldn't place a name to. The princess of the day placed a gold clad hoof against the reddish door, and it resisted horribly with a painful squeal that echoed for several minutes.

The chamber beyond had a single crystal orb hanging above that emitted a strange, soft white light. The room itself was fairly large, about 20'x20', and sparsely furnished. The majority of the floor-space was occupied by a large table carrying all manner of detritus.

"Captain, this is what I wanted to show you. This room holds some of the most intact objects left behind by the storm. I would like your help identifying some of the odder objects here. "The princess extended a hoof across the table.

The man took a bold step towards the table, and spread his gaze across the miscellaneous objects before him. His eyes caught a glint coming off of a black blade. He took the blade's plastic hilt in his hand swung it, twirled it, and finally drove its sharpened edge into the wooden table, drawing small gasp from the princess.

"This, my dear lady, is a machete. A common enough tool used to cut down small shrubs, and the like. I suppose that sharpened, it could make a decent enough weapon."

"So, it is simply a large knife?"

"Basically, yeah."

"Are there any other objects of note?"

Captain began to scour the table once more, as he looked, his sights came to rest on a long metallic tube, gently resting on a a small pile of rags. He picked it up, and was surprised by its weight. The device had a hammer and trigger, this was a firearm. It had to be four feet long, at least.

(For refrence.)

"Well it's a gun," Captain said dumbly.

"Do you have any other information about this item?"

"It's a firearm, and I don't have very much experience with these kinds of weapons. What I do know however it that if you pull this bit back," he pointed at the hammer, "look down the sights when they're lined up, and pull the trigger," he gestured at a curved piece of metal on the gun's underside, "then whatever it is that you're looking at dies, or is at least in a very bad mood."

Celestia only snorted as she grabbed the weapon in her telekinetic grasp, and began to inspect every inch of its surface.

"So, you're telling me that these things are used for killing?"

"Y-yeah," replied Captain hesitantly.

"Is this the only one of its type or are there more of these things in existence."

"There are guns that can turn a living thing into a nasty red paste. So yeah, there are more of these things out there. I just hope that there aren't any in this place."

Captain saw the princess quickly spin the weapon mid-air. A *click* broke the otherwise silent room, and a resounding *BOOM* replaced it. The firearm flew through the air, and clattered onto the floor along the far wall. Captain looked at the disfigured corpse of Celestia, and the opposite wall where blood, shards of bone, grey matter, and miscellaneous gore now decorated the masonry. The man was too stunned to speak, and for a few seconds nothing but the beating of his own heart was heard. That is until a disgusting sound that was like nothing he had ever heard filled his ears. Looking down at the prone form of the princess, he saw that brain tissue had begun to reform, and bone grew neatly back into place. Blood began to pour before the skeleton had finished reforming, drenching the floor in sanguine ichor. Slowly the still injured Celestia began to stand, revealing a large gap in place of where her eye would normally be, before it began to fill with pink nerve endings, and finally filling back into its previous state. After a few moments of Captain standing there with his mouth agape, the princess of the sun opened her mouth, and allowed a few scraps of lead to fall from her tongue.

"Do I havesomething in my eye?" she asked, coated in her own scarlet body fluids, and several tissues the man couldn't identify.

Captain simply let out a shrill shriek before crumpling onto the floor in a small heap. Celestia gave him a few minutes of rocking back and forth before approaching him, and putting a hoof on his shoulder.

"I thought that Luna had told you of our shared regenerative abilities?"

"Yeah she did, but it's one thing to hear about it, it's another to see it live." The blood had drained from Captain's face, leaving very pale indeed.

"My apologies Captain, but I thought that you would have understood."

"Understood what, that you're suicidal!?" he asked as blood began to seep back into his face.

"I simply wanted to know wether this item would have been a serious danger to the general public."

"And you couldn't have shot a watermelon with it?"

"This was the simplest, fastest way to find out. And no watermelons here harmed in the test." An awkward smile creeped its was across the princess' face. "At any rate, Captain, is there anything more of interest here?"

"I think that's pretty much everyth..." Captain trailed off when his eye met with a broken plank of wood.

The broken piece had visible salt damage, and faded, cracked white paint. The plank appeared to be decorated with navy blue lettering. COR, it read.

Captain only stood there, hoping for some other piece of information. None came.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?" The man asked.

"You appear to be crying."

For the first time, Captain noticed that there were in fact fat, hot, salty tears streaming down his face. His knees felt weak, and a lump was caught in his throat.

"What is the significance of that plank of wood?" asked Celestia.

"T-that plank belongs on my boat."

"How do you know?"

"I've seen it hundreds of times, at least, I know what it looks like, and where it goes. Oh god that means that the rest of my crew is... is..."

"I am sure that they're fine Captain," Celestia said softly, and sympathetically, "if they are half as tenacious as you, then they are surely safe."

"I guess you're right, anyone of them is capable of taking charge. They're alright, thank you, even if it is just false hope." A small smile crept across Captain's face.

"I do believe that this has been enough excitement for tonight. Don't you agree?"

"Agreed, I'm ready to hit the hay. Again."

With that, the two left the way they came in. Before the princess opened the door back outside, Captain placed a hand on her haunches, drawing the mare's attention.

"Did you need something?" she asked in her usual delicate voice.

"Princess,  I need you to promise me that you'll destroy the gun."

The solar diarch looked at him a moment, turned, opened the door, and stepped out. Captain, simply shook his head, and returned to his room.