Exceptional

Twilight's dreams were troubled that night. She dreamt of a cold emptiness and an endless buzzing sound, of hairless monsters that walked horrifically upright and devoured cooked flesh in grisly feasts, of being tied to a frigid, metal table and being probed by things that looked suspiciously like metallic hot dogs, but most of all she dreamt of eyes. Sickly, yellow eyes that belonged to no creature she knew. Eyes that were cold and alien, yet filled with something she couldn't quite put her hoof on......

She heard a voice. “Twilight! Twilight! Wake up!” She felt their claws grasping her and shaking, and she awoke from the dream screaming.

“Whoa Twi! What's the matter? Is everything alright?”

“Uh...wha...huh?” she looked around confused, her mind still reeling from the nightmare. She was in her bed, covered in sweat. Spike was standing over her with a worried expression. The sun had barely risen outside, meaning it was still very early. “Huh...S-spike, what happened?”

“You were thrashing and moaning so load you woke me up. Were you having a bad dream?”

“Huh.....oh! Yeah, j-just a dream, just a..... bad dream” she sounded more like she was reassuring herself then him, but he just passed it off. She was still shaking slightly, and Spike's heart wrenched seeing his surrogate mother/sister in such a state.

“It's ok Twi, it was just a dream, dreams can't hurt you. It was all a dream....” he stroked her mane soothingly, trying to get her to calm down. Just as her shaking started to cease, he noticed something under her pillow, recognizing it instantly. “...A dream inspired by hypocrisy!!”

“What?” she said, looking more confused then frightened now. He grabbed the comic book from under her pillow and pointed it at her like it was damning evidence.

“How do you explain this, huh?”

“Well, u-um....I-I...er...thought you wouldn't notice....” she smiled sheepishly, her fright from earlier nearly forgotten. “I-I was just seeing how badly it compared to the original!”

“Yeah, right. Twilight I am shocked, shocked and appalled that you would try to deceive me like this!”

“At least you've been taking those vocabulary lessons seriously” she deadpanned.

“Oh! You noticed! Do you think it will impress Rarity?” his anger nearly vanishing at the thought of his crush. “Hey! Wait a minute! Don't try to distract me!”

“I wasn't distracting anypony! Why would I need to do that when I can simply order you to go make us breakfast.”

“I- wait, what?” he responded, slightly confused with a feeling of dread coming over him.

“That's right, I am your legal guardian, and a member of this nation's royalty, and you have to do as I say. Now go downstairs and start breakfast or no gems for a month!”

“But-!”

“Go!” she shouted, pointing a hoof at the door. Grumbling curses under his breath, several of which he shouldn't have known at his age, Spike waddled downstairs, as he walked by scrunching up the comic book and throwing it to the side. Twilight hated pulling that card, but right now she was in no mood for his shenanigans. She still couldn't shake the memories from her dream, and how they'd chilled her to the bone. 'You just stayed up too late reading that crappy comic book, that's all, nothing more.' Her attempts at reassuring herself weren't that effective. Nowhere in the book had their been those strange, bipedal ape creatures, or those sickening yellow eyes. Recalling how Spike rolled up the book, she remembered his claws, and their similarity to the ones on those creatures. Then she looked down at her own hoof, and shuddered.

For the worst part of her dream wasn't the monsters themselves. It was that she dreamt that she was one.

*********

“Okay, let's get this show on the road!” Phil said as he strolled down the walkway, banks of computers lining each side.

“My thoughts exactly, doctor” chimed Captain Statin, walking just behind Phil. Walking up to a large console, Phil looked at the screen, and immediately scrunched his face in confusion.

“What the hell is this? What's with all the bubbling and churning? You call this sensor control?” Phil motioned to the screen, which displayed a series of liquid-filled tubes.

“Actually, doctor, that's the coffee machine” replied Statin, amusement evident in his voice.

“Oh......Well, I should remind you I don't spend a lot of time on the bridge” Phil said with a huff.

“Of course, doctor, no reminding is necessary” the smile never left the Captain's face. “By the way, would you like some coffee?”

“.........Yes.”

“Alright then.” Caffeinated beverage now in hand, Phil and Statin made their way to the real sensor control. It looked almost identical to the myriad other computer systems on the bridge. Sitting in front of it was a rather bored looking crewman reading a gossip magazine on his datapad.

“Hehe, oh no she did-en’t!” Statin calmly walked up behind him and cleared his throat. Crying out in alarm, the crewman scrambled from his seat and bid a hasty salute. “S-sir!” The crewman's face visibly paled when he saw Phil standing behind him, but otherwise held his position.

“At ease, ensign” Statin seemed obviously annoyed with the crewman's antics. “Name and rank.”

“Ensign Bobcat Wilson, sir!” the ensign was no longer saluting but was certainly not at ease. His eyes kept moving from staring straight ahead to nervously glancing at Phil.

“Oh enough of the scared shitless act, just let us get at the bloody console!” Phil could practically smell the fear emanating off the ensign, and it was really grating on his nerves. Shouldn't they have gotten used to him in the past eighteen months? At Phil's outburst, the poor bastard looked ready to shit his breeches, but Statin quickly calmed things down as usual.

“It's ok son, the admiral's ordered us to send a few probes down to Solaris III. The doc's here on official business, no need to be scared.” Phil had to hand it to the captain, his stoic demeanour, general level-headedness, and vaguely southern accent really helped take the edge off of tense situations. He was basically Phil's exact polar opposite. Though he didn't exactly like it when people talked about him as if he was something to be feared, especially to his face. What could he possibly do to deserve such trepidation? Rip the bastard in half and dance around on his entrails? Phil wouldn't be surprised if somebody had used that as an example, the lies those right-wing religious wackos cooked up about people like him ranged from completely untrue to downright ludicrous.

“O-of course sir! Right on it sir!” Wilson sat back down at the console and started initiating the pre-launch sequence. “Where should I send the first probe sir?!”

“Please, enough of the shouting, we're standing right here” Phil tried to sound as nice and diplomatic as possible, hoping to avoid actual breech-shitting. Unfortunately, diplomacy wasn't Phil's strong suit.

“O-of course s-! Er..I mean of course sirs” he finished in a much more acceptable level of volume.

“Thank you” Phil made what he hoped was the friendliest smile he could muster. To his immediate surprise and joy, the ensign actually smiled back. It was still a nervous smile, but it was genuine. “Alright, getting down to business. Scan the planet, try and pick out major urban centres.” Wilson did as the doctor said, and the scan finished a few moments later.

“The largest urban centre appears to be this one sir....the one on the side of a mountain?” the ensign seemed confused. “Who builds a city on the side of a mountain?”

“Obviously aliens do, son” was the Captain's neutral response.

“Should I send the probe to that one sir?”

After a moment of thought, Phil said “No. What's that smaller one, in the valley next to it?” Wilson zoomed in closer on it, it being barely eighth the size. It was some kind of farming community, and it was on the edge of a sizable forest. 'Perfect'. “Send the probe down into the forest, it'll cover the landing site.” Wilson looked to the captain for approval, who simply nodded.

“Yes sirs” he typed a few things into the console, and there was a loud, beeping sound.

'Launching Probe' came the computer's generic female voice.

“Alright then....” Phil could barely contain his excitement, they would be the first humans to gaze upon alien life. He wondered what they'd look like....

*********

The Everfree Forest was dark and gloomy as usual. The light of the sun barely broke through the thick foliage, casting the forest floor in shadow. Numerous forest creatures scurried just out of sight among the darkened boughs. Suddenly, the forest went silent. The only thing that could be heard was a loud, high-pitched whistling sound. A second later, with a sound like thunder cracking, a large shape burst through the canopy, slamming into the ground and digging itself into the mud. It was a long, smooth shaft, made from blackened metal, with a serial number written on it. A few moments later, the shaft split in two, steam erupting from it as it opened. Emerging from the mist was a small sphere, made from the same blackened metal. Atop its 'head' was a cluster of antenna, and in the centre of it's 'front' was a glowing red eye. Over the sound of it's repulsor lift engines, the orb began to scan it's surroundings, then with renewed purpose, headed towards the only settlement in range. With a strange buzzing noise, the probe's shape began to shimmer and distort, light refracting around it as it's stealth modulator kicked in. And then, it was gone.

Ponyville wouldn't know what hit it......

*********

“Alright Scootaloo! Yer up!”

“Ha! You ain't got a chance, Applebloom!” Scootaloo wrung her hooves around the bat (something that in a rational universe shouldn't have been possible), and narrowed her eyes at the figure atop the mound. Applebloom was serving as the pitcher, while Sweetiebelle was the Umpire.

“Ok, here. It. Comes!” Abblebloom hurled the ball with all her might. Scootaloo waited till the last second to swing, hitting the ball straight on and sending it hurtling into the distance. The ensuing excitement at the home run, followed by crushing disappointment after the 'flank check', was distracting enough that the trio failed to notice the ball seemingly bouncing off of thin air, before a slight shimmering of light and a few sparks could be seen......

*********

“Are those things playing baseball?!?!?” Phil could not hold back his astonishment. He was completely and utterly flabbergasted. When the probe had first drew near the settlement, he was expecting alien structures that bore no resemblance to Earth cultures, but was met instead with thatched-roof cottages that would look at home in a medieval village. His jaw had quite literally hit the floor when they caught sight of the town's inhabitants. 'Horses.....freakin', multi-coloured, *horses!** With wings! And horns! Dear god, it's like a children's cartoon!'* He nearly had had a heart attack when the one started speaking in near perfect english, and with a southern accent to boot! He was now certain Statin had slipped something into his coffee, but judging from the equally shocked faces of the two men standing next to him, he now suspected something was wrong with the air filtration system.

“It....would appear so.....” even the captain's trademark stoicism had been shattered by the sheer improbability of what they were witnessing.

“Hey, they're kinda cute!” was Wilson's astute observation.

“Remember, son, focus” before the ensign could respond with a 'yes sir', something impacted the probe, and it was sent spinning, a loud klaxon emanating from the console. “What in god's name was that?!” cried the captain, afraid they were under attack. When the probe regained it's balance, it spun around searching for hostiles, only to find none.

“I believe it might have been the baseball, captain....” Phil said rather dazed, his mind still attempting in vain to understand yet finding a sort of wry humour in the absurdness of the situation.

“Damages?” the Captain's years of training had kicked in, still treating the situation as if there was an immediate threat.

“Minimal, though I'll have to run a diagnostic to be certain. The probe should still be functional while it's finishing, though.”

“Well, continue onwards, good sir” despite the setback, Phil was still in high spirits, even if it was only due to him finally finding proof that he was, in fact, completely insane. The probe hovered into the town proper, taking pains to stay out of anyone's way, and avoiding all contact with the locals. It passed through what appeared to be a market square, with various stalls set up and merchants hawking their wares.

“Are those apples?” The captain pointed to a small cart, which was overflowing with the aforementioned fruit. Next to it was one of the horse creatures, an orange one, which, if their eyes weren't playing tricks on them, was wearing a stetson. The probe moved close enough to hear what it was saying.

'.....finest apples in all o' Equestria here! Nice an' juicy, straight from Sweet Apple Acres!'

“Hey, captain, it sounds like you!”

“Shut up ensign!”

“Curious, the flora and fauna look almost identical to earth equivalents. Their architecture is similar, and, beyond all logical sense, they speak english. If ever there was more concrete evidence of the existence of a higher power, this is it. And what did it call this place? Equestria? I hope to god not all their names are horse puns” Phil shuddered at the very thought. “Wait...what's that?” Phil pointed at what appeared to be a tree, but upon closer inspection, it had windows and doors built into it. “Is that a....tree-house?” Wilson snickered at Phil's choice of words, but he ignored it. Now wasn't the time. “Get us closer!” The ensign did as commanded, and the probe hovered closer. Phil noticed one of the second floor windows was open, and a thought struck him. “In there!”

“Doctor are you sure that's wise?” Captain Statin was starting to question Phil's sanity. Well, actually that wasn't true. Questioning Dr. Ackerman's sanity had evolved into a sort of pass time over the fleet's eighteen month journey. What they didn't know was that that game had started long before Phil's tenure on the ship had started, and in fact Phil was the reigning champion.

“Just do it. I know what I'm doing”

'Well, not really...'

Statin nodded to the ensign to do as the doctor said, and the probe moved into the aptly named 'tree-house'. On the interior of the second floor, there were several bookshelves, a fireplace, a bed, various pieces of furniture, the kind of stuff you'd see in some antiquarian's home. Phil had to admit it was rather pleasant. Suddenly the door opened, and one of the creatures walked in, a purple female that possessed both a horn and wings.

'Spike! Have you seen my copy of 'Alderbron's Almanac on all things Astronomical'?!'  the creature called out to someone in another part of the house. There came a muffled response, but the probe's sensors couldn't pick it up. 'Aaarrggh!! I told you to put it back when you were done with it!!'

“Wait, what's it doing?” the creature's horn began to glow, emanating a magenta-hued light. The same glow began to encompass several nearby objects, which then started to lift off the ground.

“Holy fuck!!!” the ensign's exclamation snapped Phil out of his own mystified daze.

“Really, that's what surprises you? Not the fact that they speak english?” Before they could continue the argument, there came a familiar warbling sound through the probe's sensors, followed by a bleep from the console. The creature turned around and froze, face paling, eyes going wide, it's breathing hitched.

“Ummm......ensign. That was the sound of the stealth modulator failing, wasn't it?” Phil said slowly, not tearing his eyes away from the screen, and the look of sheer terror on the creature's face.

“U-uh.....d-diagnostic's done?”

'Spiiiiiike!!!!'

“Well, fuck.....”