Doctor, I shrunk the Fillies...

Chapter 3: The Great Robot Hunt

Tomorrow came, and Applebloom was both excited and a tad scared. Sure, Dr. Whooves doesn't seem so bad, but that still didn't explain why he lived out in the middle of nowhere, in a house everypony seemed to avoid like the plague. Why hide everything he made - she was almost sure it was hiding, under the circumstances - if you didn't want some secret slipping out? Some big, terrible secret.

The four of them walked the beaten path up to the strange house. She had to admit, it looked far less scary in the day. During the day, it just looked like another dilapidated house, albeit the only one in close proximity to Ponyville. It had taken them upwards to an hour to get from the school to the house, after telling their families where they were going. Applejack didn't seem to care much for her comrade, but figured that Derpy was trustworthy enough to watch 'little' Applebloom. This comment made her stiff with indignation; she was not little. According to Sweetie Belle, Rarity was harder to persuade. Ultimately, the secret of last night's meeting had come to the fore, to act as the argument for going. If there was going to be trouble, why didn't it happen the night before, when they had gone there alone and not told anypony? At this, Rarity faltered, and before too long agreed. Scootaloo didn't go into specifics; she just said that it was okay for her to go and that was that. Dinky, of course, didn't have to get permission.

Looking behind, she spied Scootaloo and Dinky, grossly engaged in conversation apart from the group. Through writing today, Sweetie Belle relayed the news concerning Dinky's fast acceptance by the wary Scootaloo. Ironically enough, that coincided with her question concerning the secret Wednesday meetings hosted by Scootaloo. So, apparently Scootaloo thought it was absolutely fine to loan their clubhouse out to secret Humare meetings. She felt herself blush slightly at the thought of other Humares; she was herself a closet Humare, keeping her stash - ironically - in her closet. Maybe she should start attending the meetings. You know; to dissuade anypony from pilfering something, and to just look over the clubhouse. It was a nice clubhouse, and that was the only reason.

She approached the door and knocked. The scuttle of hoofsteps was heard inside, and the door quickly opened to reveal a smiling Derpy. As usual, her smile was slightly askew. Her eyes, as always, seemed at odds with one another; as if they were both secretly unsure which direction they were supposed to go, but insisted it was this way or that way. Her mane, usually unkempt, was now brushed back into another tail, leaving a few strands to stick up over her eyes. When queried, she said it was a precaution for working in the lab, that there were lost of things that could catch a mane on fire. But apparently, we weren't going to be allowed into that part of the laboratory, a sentence that made Scootaloo frown. Likely, she had just wanted to tour that part to show she wasn't afraid of getting caught on fire. Without ceremony, Derpy took them into a small office, which for a wonder seemed wholly intact and even clean. Plush, red carpet tickled their hooves, and a sturdy oak desk sat dead center. A window showed the world outside, and Applebloom was worried about the overcast sky. Rain was scheduled today, and she didn't feel like getting caught in it. Opposite the windows was a large wall hanging of some obscure, but obviously important, scientist with a full beard of white. Applebloom wondered why all the important ponies were stallions, and why they all had beards. Was there some secret society of important bearded ponies?

Derpy took them over to the wall of shelves behind the desk. Scootaloo put herself at the fore, obviously upset that they weren't already underway.

"Uh, Derpy. Where's the lab, and why are we in Whooves' office?" Derpy only smiled, and pulled a book out of the third shelf of the bookcase second from the left. Only, it didn't come out. A small, sharp click was heard, and suddenly the middle bookcase swung back on hidden hinges to reveal a wood-paneled hallway, and the adjoining circular room. Derpy ushered them forward, and they all stepped into the next room. Applebloom peeped over the rail into the depths, and was instantly overwhelmed by vertigo. This staircase seemed to go on forever, spiraling into the depths of the world! She pulled back violently, bumping into a now-startled Dinky. Quickly apologizing, she turned back to Derpy to find her still smiling; perhaps at her small mishap with the rail. She found herself getting angry, but looking at Derpy's lopsided smile, she found it difficult to stay mad. She found herself grinning. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Scootaloo peeking over the side, seemingly not phased by the potentially long fall despite her inability to fly. She turned back to Derpy and gave voice to the same question that had bombarded Applebloom's own thoughts a moment before.

"How far down does this go?"

"Uh," Derpy's eyes went up and left in tandem as she thought. "I think it goes down...Pretty far? I dunno; I never thought to count the steps." Her smile was innocent, and suddenly Applebloom realized that Derpy could probably get away with robbing a bank by flashing her lopsided smile. Even if they found the bags in the cart, sitting in plain view. But Derpy wouldn't rob a bank.

"Come on," she motioned for them to follow. "I think the right lab's this way."

"You think?" Sweetie Belle seemed astounded. "You said earlier that there was a lab with fiery stuff in it! What if we walk into that one? What if we get inciprocated? Imcimi- Ugh. Burned to a crisp?" For all her pride with words, Sweetie Belle seemed debased enough to stutter. And that was usually bad; for all her worrisome tendencies, she was usually the most unflappable of them.

Derpy just gave them another smile, but reassurance was slow in coming.

"He usually labels the doors. Today, I think he'd mark off the place with a sticky note. The only way to tell is to look, so let's get looking!" She set off down the stairs with a triumphant gait, as if she had already found the right door. Dinky plodded along behind her, content to be close to her mother. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom shared an uneasy glance and a shrug before turning to follow their chaperon.

Up and down and up and down they went. Scootaloo was getting frustrated; this would make their fifth trip back up the stairs, and still no sticky note in evidence. Still Derpy led the pack, seemingly endless energy as she plod back up the stairs with the same stride she had when they started off. What made her even more frustrated was that Derpy had wings, but didn't use them. It was as if she was just showing off the stamina she had built up from all her years running letters across Ponyville. Scootaloo fumed, now. If she could fly, she would have. But the normally ungainly pony deftly climbed flight after flight of stairs at a steady pace. She was gasping, now, and could hear the same wheezes from behind her. Applebloom seemed as fine as could be hoped, but Sweetie Belle had collapsed from exhaustion about a flight of steps behind. Even Dinky was lagging behind now. Derpy turned, apparently noticing the lack of hoofsteps following her, and her face was very serious. As serious as it could get, anyway. Scootaloo almost felt like laughing, if she wasn't so winded. Those eyes tended to make every face silly to some degree.

"Oh...I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were all following me!" What!? Scootaloo was confused and angry, which was never a good combination. We trailed you up and down these stairs five times, and you didn't notice us!? Concern marred Derpy's face, and Scootaloo couldn't find herself able to stay mad at that innocent face. She pitied whoever could stay mad at Derpy, for they were likely mad at the whole world.

"Here, you guys stay here and catch your breath. I'm gonna keep looking for that door." She strode off muttering to herself, but all was lost to her sigh of relief. She felt herself slinking down the stairs - she was more exhausted than she thought! - and picked a comfy spot next to the prostrated Sweetie Belle to sit. Applebloom was quick to follow, and poked at Sweetie Belle, who jutted upward. Apparently, she had been sleeping, and having a nice dream by the vexed sounds she made. Dinky was soon down as well, and decided to sit next to Scootaloo. She turned and started to talk.

"I'm sorry, she gets like this sometimes. She's gotten lost in the house on several occasions. Once, she missed work because she couldn't find the front door." She couldn't help it. Scootaloo quickly found herself laughing. Getting lost in your own house? Hilarious! Dinky only looked at her, but then she started to grin too. Suddenly, Scootaloo realized what had happened, and felt awful.

"Eh...Sorry about that. I know it's not nice, laughing at your mom like that, but...I just can't fathom getting lost in your own house. Sorry." Dinky looked thoroughly confused.

"Whadya mean?"

"I know Derpy can't help it that she gets like this. I just thought-"

"What? That it's not okay to laugh at the silly things you've done before?"

"Yeah, but this is different."

"Not really. Mom, she doesn't really care what anypony else thinks. Well, she actually does. But a lot less than what others think. You could tell her to her face that you thought getting lost in her house was funny, and she'd just smile back at you and say 'it was!'." Scootaloo started thinking about it, and Derpy's voice drifted down from the top of the stairs.

"I found it!" Everypony gave a grunt and a sigh. Scootaloo was suddenly wishing for escalators.

"So, what are all these things?"

Sweetie Belle looked around, stupefied. There was so much stuff to see! Unfortunately, none of it was labeled, and Derpy has already proved herself a tad more derpish today than normal. Still, it was all so exciting. There was a strange machine to her left that looked like a big ball with a hole cut in the side, sitting beside another machine that looked like a fancier sewing machine. There was a giant tank full of water to her right, filled with all sorts of fish that she didn't recognize, affixed to some kind of thermometer. It read 0 degrees on the side labeled 'C', 32 on the other. She'd have to ask later what those labels meant. Fortunately, Derpy said that, though they didn't have time to see everything, that she had gotten permission from Dr. Whooves to host a slumber party down in the bottom of the big staircase room. It was to be a big affair, with an artificial fire that still roasted marshmallows, smores, ghost stories; the whole spool of thread, the whole ream of paper. Sweetie Belle found herself anxiously waiting for nightfall, which by then she was sure she'd get her sister's 'OK' for attending said slumber party.

Her surroundings tugged at her thoughts, and she shook away the exhaustion. They'd moved on, a small ways away, and she hurried to catch up. A small, metal object on wheels rolled directly into her path, and sent her sprawling on the hard floor. The thing scuttled off into the jungle of unknown machinery, and Derpy stopped her explanation to help her up. After brushing off the imaginary dust, her face became very stern. Sweetie Belle found it difficult not to laugh.

"You really shouldn't be running in here. What if you tripped and landed on something? You could hurt yourself more than you know, and put a dent in his work." There was no question as to which 'his' she was referring to. Hurriedly, but not running, she caught up to the rest of the group, and the tour continued.

Before too long, thoughts of the strange little machine came to mind. She tapped Derpy on the flank, and the mailmare turned to look at her.

"Uh, Derpy. Earlier, when I fell, I tripped over a small, metal thing. What was it?" She looked confused, but then Derpy always looked confused.

"Which one?"

"I don't really know. It had wheels, that's all I remember." Derpy's eyes came alight, and suddenly she found herself verbally bombarded.

"Where was it? Where'd it go? Was it hurt? Well, actually, robots don't feel pain. But did it look broke? Wa-"

A thunderous crash sounded from the far side of the room. A great number of things were left tipped over, most broken. Sitting amidst the chaos was the small thing - a robot, by Derpy's reckoning - that had tripped her. She couldn't say for sure, but the thing seemed embarrassed. For a second, all was still. Derpy and the robot seemed to stare at eachother like two strange cats in a room. Then, the silence shattered. Derpy gave a wild yell and lunged for the robot. Seemingly startled, the robot dashed off into the surrounding machinery, leaving a trail of broken glass and toppled metal in its wake. The rest just stared at the commotion. Sweetie Belle found herself shaking her head in vexation and curiosity. That robot was worse than Derpy at her worst. Or was, according to Dinky, who was surprisingly forthcoming about it.

The chase went on for a small while, Derpy vaulting broken and half-standing machinery, chasing the ever-bungling bunch of wires. Despite its frequent errant pathways, the small robot seemed to always stay one step ahead of the now-tiring Derpy Hooves. Before too much longer, it scurried beneath the large orb she had seen upon entering, and no amount of jumping and yelling got it to leave. In response, the thing emitted a series of beeps and whirs, as if retorting to Derpy's insistence that it give itself up. Sighing, she motioned for her and the rest to leave, and sealed the door behind her. Curiosity piqued in Sweetie Belle again, and she soon found herself questioning an exasperated Derpy.

"What was it, really? What does it do except knock things over?" Derpy reclined against the wall, clearly exhausted but willing to answer.

"That was a...Well, I don't really know. Dr. Whooves says that it's supposed to keep the lab clean, keep things off the floor. But you're right; all it does is make a mess." She paused in thought. "It also doesn't like cats. That's all, really. If you want to know more, I'd ask the Doctor; he'd probably be able to tell you everything."

The rest of the tour was uneventful, and surprisingly boring. After all was said, Derpy ushered them out of the house. She had to go home and freshen up; apparently chasing rogue vacuum-cleaner-robots gave you a full workout. They'd all meet back in front of the house at seven thirty for the sleepover. Before too long, Sweetie Belle had made her way back to Carousel Boutique, and to a worried older sister. That was understandable, since Rarity was supposed to be responsible for anything that happened. Then Sweetie Belle told her about the sleepover. Rarity fumed, going on and on about making plans behind her back, and how difficult she was being, and when their parents found out. But then she used logic. Sweetie Belle had gone into the house twice, and came out both times intact, and safe. She yawned, and added exhausted to the list. Eventually, Rarity relented, on the condition that she was going too. Ecstatic, Sweetie Belle rushed up the stairs to pack her bags. Tonight was going to be fun!

End of Chapter 3