I awoke one morning...

"AAAAAAHHH!!!"

"Alex!"

"Pinkie?!"

"Alex?"

"Pinkie."

"Alex!"

"This isn't a game! What is this?"

"Why it's your welcome to Ponyville party!" After shoving her off my chest, the pink mare gestured around her, showing off the various decorations and celebrations hung around the library. Everywhere I looked there were balloons, streamers, party food - everything you could need to host an amazing party and I had been dropped straight into the middle of it. Ponies littered the room, idly chatting away about whatever came to mind. It was until after my shouting display with Pinkie that their heads started turning. Slowly, one by one, each pony stopped and stared at me with a piercing look in their eyes.

"Um... Hi?"

In unison they all cheered, "Welcome to Ponyville!"

With the initial greeting over, I made my way over to the refreshments table, getting the odd 'hey!" and 'Welcome!' as I walked by. Not one for much social interaction, I just leaned against the table while the occasional pony would walk by for punch. Some of them would say hello, others would question my species and one mint-green pony in particular seemed obsessed with my hands. It wasn't too long before a familiar fashionista came over and said hello, slightly startling me in the process.

"Good evening... Alex, is it?"

"Um... yes, I guess? Miss Rarity, I take it?"

"Oh how charming, you know my name before we've even met. May I ask, where do you know me from?"

"I've heard it around town..." And definitely not from a children's TV show...

"I must say, I loved the performance you put on the other day. I haven't laughed that hard since I was a filly."

Oh great... "Well I'm glad you enjoyed it," I replied half-heatedly, "I aim to please." Looking down at my clothing, which was ragged from days of use, I had an idea. "Say Rarity, you wouldn't mind doing me a little favour, would you?"

"Oh and what would that be, dear?"

"I've heard about your Carousel Boutique and your impressive handiwork. Would there be any chance of you making me a new set of clothing?"

The unicorn paused for thought, before cheerily replying. "Oh I'd love to. I've never had such an interesting model to work with. When would you be able to come around for measurements?"

"Tomorrow. So you would do it for me? How much will it cost?"

"Free of charge. I see this an opportunity to experiment with a new style of clothing, perhaps a whole new range of fashion!"

The white mare bounded off giddily before I could get another word in, leaving me by myself again. Music was playing from various speakers around the room, accenting the party atmosphere. I sat and observed the library for a while before Cheerilee walked over and broke me out of my trance.

"Hello there and welcome to Ponyville!"

"Thanks," I replied, "So what are you doing over here then?" Smooth.

"Just came over to say hello to Ponyville's new resident. Why, is it a crime nowadays to be friendly?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with saying hello. I just found it odd that you'd want to talk to me, that's all."

"Well, why wouldn't I want to say hi to somepony that managed to make the whole town laugh like they did?"

"Ugh. Is that what I am to you ponies? A performing monkey?" Being regarded as a chimp and nothing more was starting to get on my nerves.

"Oh by any means no!" Cheerilee replied, slightly startled by my small outburst. "I for one know that you're definitely not a monkey. Working as a teacher you have to know these things," before adding, "Just what are you anyway?"

"Hasn't Twilight told anypony yet?" I asked, "I'm a human."

"A hu-what?"

"Hu-man. Tall, bipedal creatures with opposable thumbs. Often found on planet Earth."

Cheerilee, confused by my reply, questioned my answer. "But we're on Earth right now. How can you be from here if you just got here?"

"If I told you it was 'wibbily wobbly, timey wimey stuff', would that be enough of an answer?"

"No," the teacher replied, "no it wouldn't."

"Honestly I don't really know," I lied, not wanting to tell her why I was here, "It's something you'll have to ask Twilight, or somepony that understands inter-dimensional travel and the mechanics behind tearing open doors to different universes."

"Wait, so you're not from this planet? Wouldn't that make you an alien?"

"Technically yes, I suppose. I spent a while trying to understand everything that's happened over the past few days while in the Canterlot dungeons, I didn't get anywhere useful."

"You were in the Canterlot dungeons?" Cheerilee replied, backing away from me slightly as she questioned how safe I was to be around.

"That's what happens when you punch a royal guard in the face and knock him out. Let it be a lesson to you; don't ever assault a member of the royal guard."

"What about the royal guard?" A new pony asked. Turning around, I saw Mayor Mare trotting towards us with a cup of purple punch in her hoof. "I'm sorry about the intrusion, but I just wanted to say hello to our newest member of Ponyville."

"Well thanks," I replied, "So what's the mayor of Ponyville want with somepony like me?"

"A little grouchy, aren't we?" Mayor Mare replied before Cheerilee leaned over to her and whispered in her ear. The mayor whispered something back to her, causing the two to giggle like little school fillies.

I cleared my throat before speaking up. "I'm still here you know."

"We know," Cheerilee replied before a look of realization spread across her face, "How'd you know she was the mayor of Ponyville? Neither of us mentioned it before."

"Umm... I could tell from her appearance. Somepony with such a distinguished look has to be of a high priority. I mean just look at her mane and her neck-tie-thingy..."

"Oh, why thank you for the compliment." Mayor Mare replied, her cheeks reddening as she talked. Regaining her composure, the tan mare continued, "I've actually came over to offer you a job. Seeing your performance yesterday, I've decided to offer you the position of town entertainer..."

I interrupted the mayor, asking about the job. "And what's in it for me before you carry on."

"A steady income, you'll meet the locals and become fast friends with everypony. Sound like a deal?"

Thinking about my offer, it sounded perfect. A chance to meet everypony in Ponyville, make them laugh and get paid to do it. "What the hay, sure I'll take the job." YOLO! I held out a hand to shake on the offer, but Mayor Mare already had a pen in her hoof and a wad of papers in her mouth. Somewhat muffled by the contract, the mayor started saying something about 'signing here, here and here' as she handed me the pen.

Not one dumb enough to sign anything before reading it, I took the papers from the mayor's mouth and scanned through them. It all seemed good until I noticed the finer details such as my hours and the shoddy pay. "You want me to work an eleven hour shift at eight bits an hour?! What am I, a dancing monkey?"

"Actually," Cheerilee butted in from over my shoulder, "Yes you are. It says right there." She pointed to the text at the bottom of the page, reading it out aloud as she went over it with her hoof. "Employee to wear uniform at all times, provided by the workplace. Uniform includes: One tail, one set of ears, one (fake) monkey fur suit."

"Also," The mayor added, "Eight bits is actually quite high. Most ponies around here barely get half of that. You should be grateful."

"Oh..." I replied remorsefully. I would have probably just sat there for the next half an hour looking depressed if Applejack hadn't walked over to the refreshment table to get a snack.

"Howdy Cheerilee, Mayor Mare. You two enjoyin' the party?"

Cheerilee turned her attention away from my contract to reply to the cow-pony. "The party's wonderful. Pinkie Pie sure does know how to throw them."

"Well, I'm glad you're having fun. It took us a coupla hours to set up everythin', so I'm glad the effort didn't go to waste... Say, there any chance I could talk with Mr Happy over here in private? There's somethin' I feel we need to discuss without everypony findin' out."

The two mares gave each other an awkward look before they mixed back into the crowd of ponies. As the two walked away, the mayor called back, asking me to meet her in her at her office tomorrow to 'close our deal'. Her voice faded the further away she trotted, becoming too quiet to hear over the party music playing in the background.

After the two other ponies had gone, I was left with Applejack. She told me to get up, before walking over to the kitchen and signalling for me to follow. Mystified by the orange mare's actions, I pushed my way through the sea of party go-ers. As I made my way through them, I received the same greetings I did the last time I walked through the crowd. Pushing open the kitchen door I found Applejack waiting for me inside the empty room.

"So AJ," I said as I pulled out a chair to sit on, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well..." The cow-pony started, "I just wanted to... dagnabbit, why does this have to be so hard?" Flustered, she sat down on her haunches and looked to the ground.

"Applejack, what is it you're trying to say? Is this about what happened at the farm?" Wincing as I brought the memory back up, I had to suppress the urge to cup my parts out of instinct while Applejack replied.

"Yeah, yeah it is. I just wanted to apologize for what I done. You sounded mighty hurt before you knocked yaself out on the tree trunk. I've only heard that sorta scream from stallions when somepony catches them in their... well, ya know..."

"I'll have to admit it hurt, a lot, but don't worry about it. I'm not exactly one with the ladies back home, so it's not all that important."

The mare looked up at me expectantly, like a puppy begging for food. "So ya forgive me?"

"Yes, but I'm not letting you off the hook that easily." I put my hand into my pocket and felt the teleportation rune, it was still warm from its previous use along with my phone, which felt like it was about to melt from the magical/electrical discharge. "Could you keep hold of something for me while I'm here? I'm not exactly supposed to have it, and Twilight would kill me if she knew about it."

"Yeah, anything to make it up to ya."

I pulled the rune out of my pocket, which caused my phone to cool down considerably. Holding it out to Applejack, she took it and slipped it under her hat. "Just what is it I'm keeping for ya anyways?"

"A little something I picked up in Canterlot. It's also how I turned up out of no-where earlier, but if anypony asks, Celestia herself teleported me here. Got it?"

"Yeah I got it, but I'll tell you now, I ain't the best at keepin' secrets. Why're you goin' through all this effort for a rock when there's hundreds of them around Ponyville?"

"Because I'm going to need it when I return back to Earth in a week. Please Applejack; don't let anypony know you've got it. You owe me, remember?" I hated manipulating the cow-pony like this, but I had to do what I had to do. "Anyway, we should get back to the party; ponies are going to start wondering where we've gotten to."

Applejack nodded before getting up and walking over to the kitchen door. I followed as she pushed it open, filling our ears with the music coming from the main lobby of the library. The orange mare mingled back into the crowd as I went back over to the refreshment table, although this time I socialized with the ponies around me. I was just about to start a conversation with a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie-mark, but a sudden thought rushed its way to the front of my mind.

I have to clean all of this up in the morning. Oh Celestia why?