I awoke one morning...

I had never been in a cell before, let alone the Canterlot dungeons. Sat in the far corner of my hold, I watched as a few guards walked by occasionally. Every so often one of them would look at me and sneer or mutter something under their breath, too quiet for me to hear what it was they said. Fortunately, when they searched me for any dangerous items before they chucked me in jail, they managed to miss the teleportation rune. All of my other possessions were confiscated and kept under lock and key at the other end of the underground hold.

"So this is it then?" I said, talking to no one in particular. "I sit here and spend the rest of my days in Equestria in a cell? Lamenting about how I should have chosen my decisions more wisely, instead of taking brash and stupid actions? Perhaps if I keep this up long enough, the guards will let me out after so much incoherent rambling? I mean, just hearing the same annoying voice over and over again must get infuriating eventually. I can keep this up all da..."

The warden, clad in a darker shade of the guards armour, eventually got up and replied after so many minutes of my nattering. "I get it! You want out! You wouldn't be in here if you didn't assault a royal guard in the first place!" Success. Rarity's right, whining can get you places.

"But I wouldn't be annoying now if I wasn't in a cell."

"Not my problem, kid."

"Yeah it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yeah, it is."

"No, it isn't."

"Yeah, it is."

"NO, IT..."

"I CAN KEEP THIS UP ALL DAY."

"SHUT UP!"

"AAAALLLL DAY."

"I'M IGNORING YOU NOW." Damn it. I thought I was getting somewhere. The warden huffed and returned to doing whatever it was that he was doing, sat just outside my field of vision at the dungeons entrance. This was a good thing though, as it meant I could inspect the teleportation rune without fear of getting it taken from me.

The rune didn't look too out of the ordinary, seeing as it was as simple as a grey stone. It had a few markings engraved on its surface in a circular pattern, but they made no sense in my eye. Turning it over in my hands, the other side neatly matched the other symbol for symbol. I kept turning the item over in my hands, slowly loosing track of my surroundings as I became more engrossed in its simplistic design, trying to make more sense of the symbols. This rock doesn't make any sense. Seriously, how can a rock like this shift matter through time and space?

The clacking of steel against the cobblestone flooring brought me out of my trance as another round of guards went by the iron bars of my cell. They were bringing another prisoner to his cell, although this one was a gryphon. Now that's something I didn't expect to see... I hid the rune from sight as they went past, although they seemed too engaged with their new captive to take any notice. I let out a sigh of relief as I watched the tail of the last guard go by before taking the rune out from behind my back. It was only after taking a second look at the rock that I realized how dumb I was being and put it away again.

"Hey warden, are you still ignoring me?"
...
"Warden? Hello?"
...
"Can I at least get your name?"

"Jail Break."

"How? I'm stuck behind bars."

"No, my name's Jail Break you idiot."

"That's kinda ironic when you think about it."

"How?"

"Jail-Break, the dungeon warden? Get it?"

"I don't follow."

"Oh. Forget it..."

"Hey kid, I never got your name as the guards dropped your barely-conscious plot down here. What is it?"

"It's Alex. Why do you ask?"

"You already knew my name. Fair's fair if I knew yours."

"I guess so."
...
"So kid..."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Never mind... it's a dumb question."

"Go on, I can't see any harm in asking."

"What's it like, ya know, being a human? Walking on two legs all day gotta get tiring after a while."

"What is it like to be a human? It's not that different to being a pony. We share a multitude of jobs, we both have families and friends of our own. Diets are a little different though..."

"Oh really? Humour me."

"We eat meat. A lot of meat. Some of us are vegetarians though, seeing as 'meat is murder'... Damn hippies."

"Don't worry about it kid, we're used to seeing the occasional meat-eater here in Equestria. Look at the gryphon in the cell next to ya."

"That thought never occurred to me, seeing as it never popped up in the show..."

"In the what?"

"Nothing, nothing... What else would you like to know?"

"What are human families like?"

"Well, that depends on the family. Not all humans are the same, kind of like ponies. You're all unique in the fact that you get cutie marks to signify your special talent marking out who you are, humans are unique in the fact the no two of us are alike and think independently."

"Go on..."

"Some families are happy; they work together, play together and work well with one another. Some other families fall apart because they just wouldn't care or love each other. Then you get my sort of family. Never really close enough to bond properly, but always there if something ever came up."

"So you're not all that different from us ponies after all then?"

"To put it simply, yes."

"Hey kid, food's up."

"Whoa, a steak? Just for me? I thought ponies were vegetarians."

"If it was up to me, you would have got gruel like any other prisoner. You're only getting that because of our little gryphon friend in the cell over there."

"He's not very talkative, is he?"

"Guards that found him stealing in the slums of Canterlot said he was a mute."

"Maybe he just doesn't feel like talking?"

"S'pose that could be it. Anyway, you gonna eat the steak or just stare at it?"

"I'm going to savour every bite. It's been days since I last ate something like this."

"Enjoy it while ya can then, it's probably gonna be a one off."

"Hey Jail Break."
...
"Hey Jaaail Breeeaak..."

"What now, kid?"

"Any chance I could get a shower?"

"What... why?"

"Truth be told, I haven't washed in four days."

"That's disgusting. Why didn't you have one sooner?"

"Have you seen how small the bathtubs and showers are compared to me? I'm nearly two feet taller than the general population."

"I'll see if I can find anything. Wait here."

"Where else am I meant to... aaand he's gone."

"I still smell like old hay and... *sniff* *sniff* ...wet dog. Are you sure there's nothing I can clean myself with?"

"Hey, I looked and couldn't find anything. Most prisoners would have to stay filthy, just be glad I even looked."

"Huh. Thanks anyway."

"You're... welcome?"

"Hey Jail Break, when am I getting out? I really need to get back to Pony..."

Just then, my phone went off. I had voice-mail. The sudden alarm startled Jail Break, causing him to fall off of his stool on which he was perched. I couldn't help but laugh at him as I explained why the safe in which my stuff was kept was making sounds.

"That's my phone going off. I really need to see what that message is, it could be important."

Walking up to the bars of my cage, Jail Break leaned in and peered into my eyes. I could tell he suspected there were other reasons why I wanted my phone back.

"How do I know it's not a weapon? Or a means of escape?"

"Just give it to me and I can show you."

I watched as the warden opened the safe with his magic, levitating the phone over to my hands. What he said next was engraved into my mind and haunts me in my sleep. Steely eyed, he spoke.

"Fine kid, but if you pull anything shifty, I have a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for ponies like you. If you stay in the cells now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

I let out a squeak of terror as the device dropped into my hands, too scared to actually do anything with it. I just watched as the guards face slowly cracked up into a grin, followed by a smile and then out-right laughter.

"Oh sweet Celestia! The look on your face! I've been waitin' for months to use that line! That was priceless!"

"Oh har-de-har," I said as I came out of the initial shock, "was that really necessary?"

"Consider it payback for laughing at me when I fell off my stool."

"Whatever," I replied while scrolling through phone menus, "Just let me activate the countdown timer while I see what that message was."

Looking at my inbox, the voice-mail had no sender, from which I could tell the sender was the same person. Great, not this again. I held the phone to my ear and pressed call, playing the message.

"Alex---not much time---limited signal---it's so bright---where are you?"

I stopped the playback at that point. The message was too distorted for me to properly understand it. At most, all I could make out was the urgency in the sender's voice, but I couldn't recognise them. Putting the phone in my pocket, I turned to the guard. "Well that was disappointing."

"Why, what did it say?"

"Nothing I could properly make sense of, it was too static-y to hear properly."

Sighing, I sat back down again. I was expecting the message to be something ground-breaking or so astounding that it would get me out of the dungeons, not fill my head with more confusion. The warden trotted back over to his stool and was about to sit down, but a new guard walked in and asked for my release.

Oh thank Celestia...

"On behalf of Princess Celestia, I am to liberate this prisoner and escort him to Ponyville."

Finally...

"And what's the reasoning behind this?" Asked Jail Break, glancing between the guard and I.

No more sitting around...

"He is to be placed under the care and supervision of Twilight Sparkle, the princess's student and element of harmony."

No more bored-... wait, what? "Did I hear that right, Twilight Sparkle?"

"Yeah you did kid," Jail Break replied while walking back over to me, "Shame, I was just beginning to like ya." Pulling out his keys, he levitated them into the lock and opened the cell. "Looks like you're free to go."

"I'm not so sure if I want to," I replied, getting up and walking slowly over to the cell door. I was about to just walk on out of the cells with the guard until I remembered my other possessions. "Hold on a sec, what about my bits?"

"There was me, thinkin' he forgot... Let me go grab them for ya, wouldn't want to forget something like this... he he..." As the warden walked over to the safe, the pocket with my phone and rune in had started to heat up. It wasn't that noticeable at first, but by the time the warden had the sack of coins in his mouth, it was hot enough to cause pain. When the warden had finally came back the heat had became unbearable. I was about to grab the bits from Jail Break and ditch my trousers in case they set alight, but before I knew it everything had gone white and I felt like I was jumping through a portal again.

My eyesight materialized before I could realize what happened and I was plunged into darkness. The stark contrast from light to dark confused me to the point of falling over. I could hear slight shuffling and whispers, before somepony jumped on to my chest and let out an almighty scream.

"SURPRISE!"