Rotten Apples

Jonathan looked up at the building which would serve as his pleasure base for today or maybe until he was deployed. The building stood out from the rest of the Canterlot structures. Instead of being made of the rich white stone with spire towers nearby and with colourful canopies the pub was actually made of fine timber, the pub had only one window with a large sign above it stating the name. The one eyed Pegasus, as well as a classic pub illustration of the name of a grinning grey Pegasus with an eye patch. Jonathan slowly breathed in, after that incident with the guards he had no idea how people would react to seeing that he was a medic, he certainly didn’t want that awkward watching feeling again. Slowly he approached the strong wooden door of the pub and gingerly opened it.

The sight that met him was unbelievable, especially for a place like Canterlot. The pub had an aura of cosiness. There was a fire brightly burning on the west wall and there was a bar on the east wall with a mahogany bar table around it. Scattered around the pub where other tables made from this fine wood with a variety of people eating and drinking there. He saw guards taking off their helmets and sharing a laugh as they downed a pint of cider. He saw a family having a meal there with the foals having a more foal friendly drink of apple juice. However to Jonathan’s despair the pub was packed. The tables or certainly the single ones were all occupied with costumers. Jonathan stood there; shaking his head vigorously in the hope there might be at least one table to sit on. It appeared somepony had noticed his distress and soon he heard somepony say something to him.

“Hey…..You…there’s a space here.”

Jonathan turned quickly towards the news and saw a large wooden table, around it sat four other ponies and each one of them was looking at him. One was smiling at him, a stallion unicorn with a grey coat and a white stripe going down his dark blue mane. He continued to smile and using his magic he pulled the spare chair from under the table out, the chair being between the smiling Pegasus and a brown earth pony.

“Well do you want a seat or not?” said the unicorn carefully, as if he sensed that Jonathan was a shy type.

Jonathan adjusted his glasses carefully blushing. “Why…err. Thanks.” Jonathan carefully trotted over and took the seat gingerly as if sitting down in a wrong manner would cause all the other ponies to run him through. After taking his seat a Pegasus with a light blue coat and a similar white stripe going down her same coloured mane chuckled.

“Wow brother you can lead a pony to a table. Now let’s say if you can make it drink, unlike Daniel over here.”

She then playfully prodded a snow white stallion unicorn that was blushing bright red. He nervously whispered reminding Jonathan a bit of Fluttershy.

“I just don’t like alcohol okay……”

The other unicorn chuckled.

“Rubbish, you’re just a light weight, what about that time you went to that Royal guard meeting. You had one pint and you were singing some song about goblins.”

The shy unicorn soon almost stood up, his hazel eyes suddenly going fierce as he stared down the guard.

“I am not a lightweight Benethor!” Suddenly realising what he had done after he looked at the shocked expression on the female Pegasus’s face he shrank back into his seat while Benethor’s eyes were still wide in surprise.

“Okay Daniel….”

The Pegasus soon slapped Benethor on the head he howled in pain and rubbed his head.

“Hey what was that for.”

“Well had you not been such a stupid younger brother you would have realized how rude we’ve been to our new guest. We haven’t even introduced ourselves!”

Benethor kept rubbing his head wincing and scowling at his sister, mostly due to the embarrassment.

“Well okay…Well I’m Benethor but you have probably already heard.” He then pointed to his sister. “This is Caterina, the only Pegasus ever in our family so she has always been very strange…”

Benethor received another whack for this after a brief moment of howling and rubbing he continued.

“The unicorn over there is Daniel, he is a medic apparently before this conflict and conscription business he was an eye surgeon.”

Daniel lifted his snow white hoof and waved chuckling and winking at Jonathan.

Benethor rolled his eyes at this knowing how awkward Daniel could be and lastly he pointed to the till then quiet Earth pony.

“And this is Marius, the most hypercritical pony in all of Equestria.”

Marius raised his eyebrows. Until that moment he had been indulging himself in a book, only stopping to take a brief look at Jonathan, at the insult he closed his book and placed it on the ground and breathed in.

“As I have told you many times Benethor yes I am a socialist. It is not my fault that my parents happen to be one of the richest in Equestria.”

Benethor however continued to wind him up.

“So do you want to have parents lynched in the streets, would you be able to live with yourself without your solid gold toilet?”

Marius seemed to be easily irritably and soon barked at Benethor.

“It doesn’t work like that…you…err….idiot!”

Caterina slammed her hoof on the table loudly, stopping the whole chatter throughout the pub and screamed at Marius.

“NO ONE CALLS MY BROTHER AN IDIOT EXCEPT ME!”

Caterina soon looked around and observed that everyone was looking at him and she blushed and placed her hoof back under the table and slowly everypony returned to their business, Benethor slowly lent over to his sister and whispered.

“Thanks sis.”

Caterina bitterly scowled at him and then smiled at Jonathan.

“You haven’t said much. What is your name anyway?”

The yellow unicorn smiled encouragingly while taking off his saddle bag and putting it on the ground as if to release some nervous energy.

“My name is from Jonathan, I’m a doctor from Ponyville.”

Marius grinned a bit before patting a hoof on Jonathan’s back making him feel very weird.

“See, finally a pony from a great background. Ponyville, a village of the people, set up by the people and run by the people.”

Benethor rolled his eyes, Jonathan could tell this wasn’t the first time Benethor had heard Marius socialist ramblings.

Marius retracted his hoof and Jonathan looked at him, he was a handsome pony with admirable facial features. His green eyes gave a strong glance but they were still young. Marius made Jonathan remember a time in his youth were he had been rebellious. Putting up posters of at the time banished Princess Lunar and generally being a living Tartarus to raise. He looked at Marius as just a young pony going through a rebellious phase in his life. He was certainly the youngest out of all of them, by how much he was not sure.

Daniel also smiled at this introduction, seeming to be comforted by the fact there was another doctor in the ranks of the group. Jonathan deciding to break the ice asked politely.

“Are we getting drinks? Or are we getting food?”

Benethor smiled at him.

“Of course were getting drinks, if you want food that’s fine, also you don’t have to be so polite you’re not talking to Celestia.”

Jonathan then nodded gaining some confidence he raised an eyebrow.

“Is there a menu? And who is paying.”

“Not me!” Snapped Marius and everyone apart from Jonathan scowled at him, Jonathan decided to bail him out by pulling his coin purse from his saddle bag. However as he pulled it out Jonathan lost concentration and his magic stopped making him drop the bag of coins on the table and the coins rolled out. The other ponies gasped as they saw five big golden coins roll out.

“I thought those were a myth…” said Daniel gobsmacked.

“Where did you get those guineas...” said Benethor in a shocked manner.

“Well err….Shining Armor gave them to me.” Said Jonathan nervously, Marius scowled.

“Great, he’s friends with the aristocracy.”

Caterina ignored Marius and gulped.

“There like 100 bits each. Just one of those coins is us for the night.” Everyone then looked hopefully to Jonathan and seemed to say all together.

“Could you pay for us?”

Jonathan blushed and nodded.

“Well it’s not my money anyway so I guess.”

Caterina soon read out the orders again just to make sure it was right, they were written crudely on a piece of paper she held in her hoof.

“Okay Jonathan wants a Dragon bitter, Benethor wants a Griffons claw, Daniel wants an Apple juice and Marius wants a glass of champagne.”

At the mention of Marius’s order Benethor face hoofed. Caterina chuckled at her brother and did not mention her order, she then looked at everyone making sure that all the orders were correct.

“Okay then I will just go off to get them.” She then walked off to get drinks; the guinea perched in her mouth carefully. When she was in the distance Benethor then grinned and leaned into Daniel.

“How are you going to get her to fancy you if you get a girly apple juice while we’re all getting smashed? Come on colt up and get a real drink.”

Daniel shook his head vigorously and growled at Benethor.

“I don’t fancy her!”

“Yes you do!” Everypony else said, even Jonathan and Daniel gave him a pleading look of betrayal.

Jonathan chuckled. “Sorry it’s true though, you’re so nervous around her and to be fair if I wasn’t married I would probably fancy her too.”

Daniel was blushing redder than a tomato again with Marius chuckling with Benethor.

“Benethor you shouldn’t encourage him, do you really want him banging your sister? The one pony that can beat you being pounded by the pony that won’t even have a pint.”

Now it was Benethor’s time to blush.

“Say one more word about my sister and your dead got it.”

Marius grinned and rested back in his chair contented.

“Okay Ben.” Chuckling now at the nickname he had made.

Soon Caterina came back with the drinks on a tray she was holding carefully in her mouth. She placed it down and everypony was surprised there was a lot more drinks then they had ordered and Caterina giggled.

“Well we had a lot of change, I thought we might just use it to get some more in case any of us get thirsty after the first or second.”

She then looked at the still blushing Daniel and scowled at everyone.

“Have you guys been bullying poor little Daniel again!” She then gave Benethor another whack as well as managing to reach over the table and whack Marius and then surprisingly whacked Jonathan again. Jonathan yelped as well.

“What was that for?” He asked, still stunned and in pain from the whack.

Caterina giggled a bit before passing everypony there drinks.

“Because I know you had something to do with poor little Daniel.” She then gave Daniel a jokey kiss on the cheek which made all the other ponies snigger and Caterina scowled.

“What is so funny?” She said, her hoof raised for more whacking.

“Nothing!” Everypony said making Caterina settle down and beginning to drink from the large wooden mug in front of her. Everypony else started as well. When that beautiful liquid entered Jonathan’s mouth and his throat he could already feel his confidence grow and his distant misery of his lost home shrank into almost nothing. Loving the drink’s taste on his tongue and the feeling of confidence he quickly downed his first drink and moved onto the next. The others apart from Daniel followed his example and soon after about an hour they had drunk about five of these drinks each. The effects of their indulgence were soon obvious.

“……And then Caramel, my bro just blushed and guess what, he forgot the bloody rings! So everyone began searching for them under their seats, all the while the preacher kept on going while Applejack and I were searching for rings in his mane!”

Jonathan was laughing as he drunkenly recalled his chaotic wedding while the ponies around him roared in laughter. Jonathan then burped and threw his glasses next to the saddle bag and climbed onto the table his body swaying.

“I am gonna sing a song *hic* for you guys. I got told it by my bro in law *hic* Big Mac so *hic* what was I saying? Oh yeah *hic* this song is about all you *hic* guards out there. Like Benethor *hic*.”

Ponies had all started looking at Jonathan, most of the families had left and being quite late the guard shifts had ended and the pub was swarming with guards who needed a drink after their long shifts. Soon they were hitting there Hooves on the ground chanting.

“SING SING SING SING!”

Jonathan hiccupped again and had a wide grin on his face.

“Okay…here we go *hic*.”

Then he began his song, surprisingly it was free of hics and his drunken slur as if Jonathan was extremely disciplined when it came to singing, most surprising was his voice was good and beautiful, normally he was very shy with singing, only doing so when heavily drunk or when Applejack teased him into doing it. The song was a folk song from Ponyville about an experience a Royal Guard had there while drunk.

(song)“Well a Royal Guard clad in armour left a bar one evening fair

And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share

He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet

Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh

He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely mares just happened by

And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye

See young sleeping Guard so strong and handsome tank

I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the flank

Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh

I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the flank

They crept up on that sleeping Guard quiet as could be

Lifted up his armour about an inch so they could see

And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Armoured skirt

Was nothing more than the Gods had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh

Was nothing more than the Gods had graced him with upon his birth

They marvelled for a moment, then one said we must be gone

Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along

As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow

Around the bonnie star, the Guard's armour did lift and show

Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh

Around the bonnie star, the Guard's armour did lift and show

Now the Guard woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree

Behind a bush, he lifts his armour and gawks at what he sees

And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.

O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh

O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize.” (song)

The pub was roaring with cheers and stamps of approval from this song and Jonathan gave a little bow before falling off the table in a heap making all the other ponies laugh heartily. However all this joyous behaviour was interrupted by a very rude comment.

“What the bloody hell was that rubbish?”

Everypony turned to the door of the pub where there stood a dark grey pony. Around his neck was a gold and sapphire necklace and on his hooves were golden horse shoes just like Celestia, Cadance and guards wore. He swaggered in arrogantly his head raised up high like a peacock while some other thuggish ponies walked behind him. Clearly his bully escort in case somepony dared to say what they really thought about him. Julius strutted to the heap that was Jonathan and actually had the audacity to spit on him.

“This Ponyville crap is actually worse that Vinyl Scratch.” The arrogant pony grinned at the now frozen pony on the floor and then looked up at the very angry ponies staring at him.

“Well if it isn’t traitor Marius, coward Benethor and cry baby Daniel!”

Marius let off a growl, despite being heavily drunk he seemed to have at least some control of his speech.

“Julius *hic* the foul snobbery of Equestria in Pony form.”

Julius raises his eyebrows surprised, he hadn’t expected the peasant to answer back, he ignored him latching himself to a target that would insult everypony in the group.

“Why hello Caterina. Why you are looking nice tonight.”

Caterina glared at Julius with eyes that burned with pure hatred.

“Back off Julius, go away!”

Julius grinned as he looked at Benethor who was almost too drunk to register what was going on as he lounged in his chair staring into space, Julius lent into her grinned about to lick her but before he could Daniel quickly got from his seat and violently pushed Julius. Julius who was surprised by the push almost fell over the body of Jonathan who was only just starting to get up.

“HOW DARE YOU PUSH ME? MY BOYS SHOULD TEACH YOU PEASANTS A LESSON IN MANNERS! DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS? HE IS THE FIELD MARSHAL OF THE AR-“

Before he could complete this however Benethor got up and slowly walked over to him, he continued to sway weirdly until he was right up to Julius, then the placed his strong hoof on his shoulder and before Julius could react he brung his head back far and with full speed head butted Julius sending him toppling to the ground, his nose gushing blood. Soon Julius’s goons swarmed on Benethor but now before Marius could jump onto one sending him to the ground. Caterina also joined in whacking one on the head similar to how he had whacked the others, though with a lot more force. Only three more goons remained unengaged. As Jonathan slowly got up he levitated one of the still slightly full beer mugs and concentrated hard. Before the goon knew what was happening the mug hit him at full force on the head. The other two did not wait to be engaged and quickly ran from the pub in terror. Julius managed to get up and ran, his nose bleeding profusely swearing and cussing.

“MY FATHER WILL HEAR OF THIS! I AM TELLING YOU KNOW YOUR DONE FOR!”

After Julius and the rest of his goons had left, the rest of the pub gave out a great cheer. They slapped the drunken heroes on the back congratulating them on their victory over the arrogant Julius. Jonathan’s vision however, dimmed as it was without his glasses was getting even dimmer. He slowly fell to the ground and fell quickly to sleep. Marius chuckled at his now battle comrade as he talked to the others.

“Don’t worry. He can come home with me.”

As the heroes said their goodbyes and left the pub with Marius carrying Jonathan on his back, a white haired and purple manned unicorn watched from the pub crowd chuckling.

“Applejack will want to hear about this.”