The Nameless War (or, the Circum-Equestria Conflict)

The “Welcome to the Moon” party was not as well received as Pinkie Pie might have hoped. It was far more formal, far less lively for her tastes. Most likely because the thing that was on the forefront of everyone’s mind was Celestia and what had happened.

“I know it doesn’t seem like everyone’s having fun,” Cadian had told her. “But you’re wonders for keeping morale up, Pinkie Pie.”

There was a reason she was the Element of Laughter, after all.

Still, there was something else there...

Admit it, you like seeing this sort of thing.

What are you talking about?

You like seeing this sort of death. It’s a shame that you’re holding yourself back, Pinkie Pie.

No. No, I don’t like this. This isn’t me, and it’s not Equestria. It’s so, so, so, so, so, not Equestria.

Equestria was just a candle looking for a flame to light it. And admit it – you liked seeing it burn.

No, I didn’t!

Then why couldn’t you stop looking at the battle at the beach? Why didn’t you stop staring at Shining Armour’s corpse? You liked what you saw.

No, no, no, no, no...

She’s right above you, Pinkie.

I’m not looking up, I’m not looking up, I’m not looking up...

You are looking up. At her. Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty. So loyal...so friendly...so tasty...

I’m not curious, I’m not curious...

Stop lying to yourself. You know you want to slice the rainbow.

No...

I heard blood is warm. Like a blanket. Speaking of blankets, you could start that quilt, you know. With all your friends’ cutie marks. It would be like them holding you close, all together...

“No!” Pinkie Pie cried, startling almost everyone in her vicinity. Rainbow Dash descended to meet her friend.

“You okay, Pinkie?”

“It’s not stopping, Dashie...” was all Pinkie Pie could manage through her tears. She sobbed quietly. Dash gave an okay signal to the others, who slowly went back to their usual business.

Rainbow’s face fell, remembering what happened the first time Pinkie Pie brought up her cupcake nightmare. Ever since then, this alternate Pinkie Pie has been haunting her for a while. Equestria going to war seemed to only worsen her already delicate mental state.

Rainbow Dash held Pinkie Pie close. “Hey. Cheer up, Pinkie Pie. You’re the one who’s always saying it could get worse.”

“Mmhmm,” Pinkie Pie quietly managed.

“And you haven’t turned me into cupcakes yet, and it’s been a long time since they started. You’re doing great, Pinkie.”

“I just don’t know how much longer I’ll have to put up with this...”

Forever, silly. I mean, come on. I’m a part of you.

Pinkie Pie shuddered, ignoring the voice as best she could.

“You know, we should probably give it a name or something.” Rainbow Dash remarked.

“It’s not worth a name,” Pinkie Pie replied. “This...voice...is even worse than Rocky, Madame LeFlour, and all those other voices. Giving it a name...I’unno...”

“You okay?” a third voice asked. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie looked up to see a human in what looked like a space suit. She seemed oddly out of place amidst a sea of people who were clad in their standard uniforms (or nothing, in most ponies’ case). It was hard to see past the white suit, which covered her entire body, but her visor was just clear enough to see a gentle, heart-shaped face with brown eyes and hair. She exuded an air of comfort that Pinkie Pie caught up on quickly.

“You look like my sister after she had a nightmare,” the human said.

“You could call it a nightmare,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“You know, when I was younger, my sister always thought there were monsters hiding in her closet.” the human said. “So I gave her a toy gun that shot foam darts, and so she shot at any of the monsters that were hiding there.”

Rainbow Dash gave a quiet “Heh,” and a smile along with Pinkie Pie, but both could tell that she was less than impressed by the human’s methods. “I wouldn’t call violence against shadows to be a very good overall solution...especially with something like that gun.”

“One of the things you’ll learn quickly about this world,” Rainbow Dash said. “Is that they treat warfare totally differently than us." She turned to Pinkie Pie. "I should probably get back to practicing, but listen to her. If not for me, for Equestria. Equestria needs us to fight, after all.”

Pinkie Pie watched, concerned, as Rainbow Dash flew off. Rainbow was always one to find the thrill of a fight, but she was always more into defeating her opponents, not killing them outright with firearms.

“It’s...kind of scary,” Pinkie Pie admitted.

“You mean fighting?”

“I mean that gun. Twilight told me about your world. Y-You could kill somepony very easily with that.”

“Mmhmm, I can,” the human replied. “But one of the things you’ll learn quickly from holding this rifle is responsibility.”

Pinkie Pie’s thoughts hearkened back to a time when she looked over Pound and Pumpkin Cake. She wondered how the Cakes were faring on Equestria, but her train of thought ended rather abruptly when she realized the human had asked her a question.

“Huh?”

“Why is it you seem so...different? Less excitable?” she asked through her large and bulky suit.

“I guess it’s all catching up to me,” Pinkie Pie replied. “Why do you wear that suit? Also, what’s your name? I guess you already know mine...”

“I’m Alreace,” the human said. “And I wear this because...well, I’m sick.”

“Sick? It’s contagious?”

“No, it’s called Silverstone disease. No, it has nothing to do with those...birds over there.” She spat the word like venom. Pinkie Pie was surprised at the sudden hate, but let the human continue.

“It’s a rare magical disease. Humans with it have no protection from sunlight, so I have to wear this in order to go outside.”

“So...you always have to wear that thing?”

“Mmhmm.”

“You can never go outside?”

“Not without it.”

“You could never roll around in the grass, or stare up at the sun with a smile on your face?”

“Nope.”

“And you live in a world with a bunch of birds that you really, really hate...”

“Yeah.”

“That’s so sad.” Pinkie Pie said. The words caught Alreace off guard.

“Well...I...” she paused, thinking desperately of a response. “You’re the Element of Laughter, shouldn’t you be trying to cheer me up if that were true? You look a lot sadder than I do, and considering you’re the Element that’s even worse than me!”

“I guess you’re right,” Pinkie Pie allowed. “But you have so much magic and so much technology; I’m sure if you put your minds to it you could find a cure!”

“We have some scientists working on it,” Alreace explained. “But the birds are on everyone’s mind right now.”

“Why do you hate the birds so much, anyway?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Alreace paused, recalling painful memories. There was screaming. There were flames everywhere. She watched helplessly as the search for her family continued.

“The ordinary Anadian or Endalian citizen believes those birds are here to end the world. For me...well, it’s personal.”

Pinkie Pie paused again, prompting her to go on.

“Sure, my family didn’t like the birds, but we never really practiced what we preached. Laws aren’t necessarily just, in my world. We followed it, just...unenthusiastically. Things changed when the birds attacked my city. Our planes went up. Theirs went down.” Alreace took a quick, short breath. “One of ‘em went down on top of our house. Was in school, at the time..."

It was the strangest sight to Pinkie Pie. She didn’t know what to think. A human – an entirely different species – and a soldier, no less – sobbing into her knees. Her rifle fell uselessly next to her with a small clapping sound. Pinkie Pie spent several seconds simply taking the alien sight in before seriously wondering what to do.

Do what you always do.

Pinkie Pie wrapped her forelegs around her in the tightest hug since she left Equestria. Alreace found it odd, but she took a surprising amount of comfort in that.

Perhaps she just needed to get it off her chest.

===

Hours later, Pinkie Pie was still thinking about the humans, their devastating weapons, and what they needed to do to reclaim Equestria. The other voice was quiet for now, almost worryingly so. Maybe it was planning something.

She wanted her Equestria back; there was no question about that. Still, the path that lay before her was filled with dangers that laughter alone couldn’t defeat. There was also always the question of her...

“You still paying attention, Pinkie?” Alreace asked.

“Huh? Yeah...” Pinkie Pie replied distractedly.

“Hey.” Alreace said firmly. “You gotta be paying full attention here. Now is not the time to be thinking about cupcakes.”

Mmm. Cupcakes. I bet the humans would make great cupcakes, too.

Pinkie Pie shuddered at the thought.

Alreace was continuing, and Pinkie Pie did her best to stay with her. “Always make sure it’s aimed down range,” Alreace said as she fired her rifle into a bunch of sandbags. “Hold it firmly, but not tightly.”

Pinkie Pie shuddered again.

“Here, you try.” Alreace offered.

“I...I don’t know...”

“Ah, come on. You’re going to have to, unless you want the others to fight unsupported...”

“Alright, alright, I will...”

Pinkie Pie most reluctantly lay on the moon’s surface, putting her hooves in roughly the same spot that Alreace was.

“Now look down range, and...”

Alreace’s voice became strangely distant. Pinkie Pie stared down range at the sandbags, lying there. The great empty starfield that hung over their heads turned a bright, flaming red. She was there, back in Equestria, a blasted, scorched land. She was in her room. There was knocking on her closet.

Oh I might be tardy for this world, Twilight’s voice said as she stepped out of the closet. A flick of her hooves later, she was brandishing a massive meat cleaver. But you’ll be early for the next.

Her bedroom door opened, and Pinkie watched as she saw a copy of herself step through the door. You couldn’t really shoot yourself, could you?

Pinkie Pie aimed right at the sandbag target, but her hooves froze on the trigger.

I couldn’t find the needles, Rarity said down the hallway. But this material is simply amazing! She brought the material up for Pinkie Pie to see, revealing a piece of yellow leather with three butterflies on it.

It’s very good material, isn’t it? Fluttershy asked. That part’s mine. We could always use more, though...

Why are you holding that, anyway? Rainbow Dash asked from above. Guns aren’t as cool as knives. Kills need that...personal touch.

Rarity nodded in agreement.

Pinkie Pie’s hooves started shaking.

Just believe in yourself. Alreace always said focus...focus on the kill...

Come on, Pinkie. Twilight said, advancing menacingly. Shoot us. Prove you’re a killer.

Cupcakes really are the best treat, the other voice said. Pinkie Pie watched as she bit slowly, deliberately, into a bright pink one. A sharp pain shot against Pinkie’s flank as she did so.

“Aaahhhhhh!” Pinkie Pie screamed. In a flurry, she levelled and aimed Alreace’s rifle straight at the first sandbag and fired.

The image of Twilight turned black and exploded in a cloud of black dust.

She levelled the gun at the second sandbag and fired.

Fluttershy’s image was no more.

She aimed far, sighting the target quickly and efficiently, and fired into the sandbag almost twenty meters away as Rarity’s image exploded. She aimed high, missing her fourth shot, but Rainbow Dash’s image was gone.

She levelled her rifle one final time and fired into the center target. The other voice’s image didn’t explode, but instead shattered like glass. In its place, Pinkie Pie saw herself.

“Good shooting, Pinkie Pie.” Alreace complimented. “You’re a natural.”

Pinkie Pie dropped the rifle abruptly and ran.

===

Pinkie Pie had her face buried in Rainbow Dash’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Rainbow did her best to comfort her, but knew that any words right now would be lost on her. Rainbow Dash closed her eyes solemnly, feeling just as helpless as Pinkie Pie did.

“I can’t do this, Dashie, I just can’t...” Pinkie Pie wept. “Not while she’s around...”

Alreace finally caught up to her. “Hey, you okay?” was as far as she got before realizing that Pinkie Pie was in no mental condition to continue practicing. Alreace backed off, slowly and silently. Rainbow Dash nodded appreciatively.

“Really wishing I could help you more, Pinkie...” Rainbow Dash said quietly, stroking the back of her head. “Hey, why don’t you try laughing? You were the one who said to giggle at the ghosties, right?”

“Yeah,” Pinkie replied. “Yeah! Hehehe...”

Rainbow chuckled alongside her. Soon Pinkie Pie started laughing alongside her, and for that moment, it felt like everything was going to be fine. Yet deep inside, Pinkie knew that this was just a temporary solution.

===

Once more, Pinkie Pie stood at the target range. Alreace was behind her, supervising her movements. Pinkie had improved considerably, yet Alreace was concerned for her well being. Alreace had taught her as much as she knew with regards to the physical abilities of the weapon, yet there was something missing. Pinkie always looked so unsure of herself, more than any other recruit that Alreace had seen. Perhaps it was something to be expected from such a pacifistic race.

Alreace had, however, a trick up her sleeve. She talked a bit with Rainbow, who gave her only the basics as to what Pinkie’s problems were. It wasn’t much to go off of, since Rainbow wanted to respect Pinkie’s privacy, but it was just enough.

“Alright, Pinkie, just like before.” Alreace said calmly. “Fire on them.”

Within seconds, Pinkie had fired on most of the targets. Unexpectedly, however, Alreace called “Cease fire.”

Pinkie immediately stopped. She looked at Alreace expectantly.

“How do you see this rifle?” Alreace asked Pinkie.

“What do you mean?”

“What is it to you?”

“It’s...a rifle.”

Alreace shook her head. “Try to stop thinking of it as the darker side of you. Try to think about it as your ability to do right.”

“What do you mean?” Pinkie asked.

“When you’re out there, remember what you’re doing all this for. You’re doing it for the Equestria you miss. You’re also doing it to protect your friends.”

Pinkie Pie paused in thought. A new scenario began to draw itself in Pinkie’s head. “To protect my friends...” she murmured.

Alreace backed away from Pinkie to give her space. “Fire when ready.”

Heyhey, what would happen to Alreace if she was exposed to the sun? The other voice asked. Would the crisp up, like an overdone cookie? Why don’t we find out?

She’s my friend.

No different from Rainbow Dash, really. The other voice replied. Pinkie Pie was back in her room, in the ruined Equestria she imagined. An image of Rainbow Dash was bound to a table. Pinkie dared to not look at the rest of her.

I’m your friend, too. Rainbow Dash said. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth in a scream, but as soon as she relaxed, she looked back at Pinkie Pie. I’ll satiate your curiosity.

No. You’re not Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie Pie held the rifle tightly, finding that it gave her both comfort and security.

Oh, you’re going to shoot me again? Well, go ahead if you want. We both know it won’t do anything.

No, it won’t. I’m a part of you. You are a part of me.

Pinkie Pie paused, levelling the rifle at the other voice and the image of Rainbow Dash.

But you aren’t leaving my head. I won’t let you. I’ll never let you. So stop trying to pretend you have a hold on me, because you don’t.

Who said anything about pretending?

The other voice drew the massive meat cleaver and advanced menacingly, while Rainbow Dash looked at her disapprovingly. Pinkie Pie once again froze on the trigger.

See? I do have control over you. You won’t pull that trigger until I say you do.

No. I’m the one who’s in control here, because I have this gun. It’s my choice what to do with it, not yours.

Not really. You said it yourself. I’m you, and you’re me. So that means I have the gun too.

But you don’t know how to use it. You weren’t listening to Alreace at all.

The other voice advanced closer, but Pinkie Pie still couldn’t fire. The other voice slowly put her hoof on the gun’s barrel, tilting it away from her.

Pinkie Pie reacted almost instinctively. She brought the stock of the weapon, formerly against her shoulder, forward against the other voice’s head. The other voice recoiled, shattering the false Rainbow Dash on the table. The other voice was knocked down to the floor, hard.

I’m more than just a pony with a weapon. I know how to use it. I know when to use it. I still hate it. But with this, I’ll set Equestria right.

Pinkie Pie fired three times, hitting each sandbag square in the target. Her room seemed to melt, and like a window being wiped clean, she was back in her familiar Sugarcube Corner. She turned to look down at the other voice, to find it had disappeared.

Pinkie Pie closed her eyes solemnly, handing the rifle back to its proper owner. Alreace looked at her expectantly.

“I don’t think I’ll ever like guns,” Pinkie said. “But I’m not letting my friends get hurt. And if I’m going to use this, I’m going to use this properly.”