Black Ops 2: Equestria

The clock chimed it's usual noise while sunlight breached through the not completely shut curtains. David rubbed his eyes and pinpointed what had woke him up. Before it could make any more noise, it fell to the floor with a "CLANG! and a pillow above it.

"Always hated damn alarm clocks." He grumbled and stood up to notice his armor and weapon had dissapered. The only thing he could remember from last night was having tea with Twilight and Spike, answering her barrage of questions and then putting the gun down and taking off his armor next to his bed.

"Wait....." He quickly rushed downstairs and noticed Twilight reading a book. She spun around as soon as he slammed the door behind him. She sighed and relaxed when she saw David however.

"Oh, David. It's you. You startled me."

He smirked at put his hands up. "Who else could it be? The fucking tooth fairy?"

Twilight didn't understand what he meant by "tooth fairy", but she picked up that he was trying to be sarcastic. Which didn't impress her in the slightest. She stood up from reading her book and walked over to him, glaring at him all the time she took to walk towards him. "Haha. Very funny. Say, what are you doing up this early? I thought the shock of you arriving in a universe with talking ponies would make you tired? She also grinned and he noticed this straight away.

"Stop trying to be funny. It only works when humans do it, funny one's at that. Anyway, I meant to ask, where is my gun and my armor?" Twilight looked at him with a confused expression.

"Armor?"

He facepalmed. "The stuff that I was wearing?"

She suddenly smiled like a little idea bulb had lit up inside her head. Original right? "Oh! I put it over there in the kitchen." David quickly walked into the kitchen and sighed a breath of relief when he saw his armor and weapon neatly placed in the corner.

"Thanks Twilight. I thought I'd lost them. Anyway, what's our plan of action today?"

She put her hoof to her chin as though she was trying to think of an answer. "Well, I did want to learn more about you.."

David sighed. "Here we fucking go.." He mentally slapped himself to try and numb Twilight's voice out so he didn't have to have MORE questions thrown at him.

"But..Princess Celestia wrote to me when you went to bed and requested that she meet you as soon as possible, so I think the questions will have to wait till tomorrow. Also, I forgot to ask, how did you sleep?"

He literally smiled at the fact that he didn't have to listen to Twilight drone on with her questions. After a few moments of him awkwardly staring at the ceiling and smiling, he snapped out of his trance and looked back at Twilight, who now had a concerned look on her face. "Oh, sorry Twilight. Spaced out there for a second. Who's this Princess...Cmestia was it?"

She slapped her hoof to her face, which David recognised as a facepalm, with hooves instead of hands. "Princess Celestia. And she's the ruler of all of Equestria. She rules over us to make sure we are safe and she also raises the sun. She's a goddess." The next thing she knew, David was on the floor crying with laughter.

"A FUCKING GODDESS? OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE FUNNY TWILIGHT!!!"

She glared at him as she threw him onto his feet using her magic. "I'm NOT joking. If you don't believe me, ask her yourself. You'll be able to in 3....2....1."

The next thing David knew, there was a knock on the door. When Twilight trotted over and opened it, there was 2 ponies who looked like some type of guards or soldiers. Before he could walk over to them, the one on the left started speaking.

"Twilight Sparkle, the Princess told us that you requested her to meet this..." The guard pony looked over to David and snorted. "Creature." Twilight nodded.

"Yes sir's, and I believe his species is called Human."

They shrugged. "Well, whatever. Could you please bring the creature over here and get it into the..." The guard gulped as David (who was considerably taller then all of the ponies, including them) came over to them.

"I can walk myself buddy." The guard just glared at him and motioned him to get into what looked like a chariot of some sort. He complied and sat in. When they set off, he looked at the guard across from him.

"So, how does this Princess Celestia know I'm here in the first place?" The pony looked over towards him and put his spear to the side of him.

"Twilight Sparkle sent the Princess a letter, informing her that a creature...you...had appeared in Equestria. She wanted to meet with you even before Twilight requested her to do so."

David didn't answer. He just thought and looked at of the chariot. "Twilight sent her a letter? I suspected she'd tell someone about me."

David was confused. Why would this pony want to see him so badly? Then again, he was an alien to them. Hell, he could have blasted all of the ponies to microscopic pieces if he wanted to. So he could sort of understand why she wanted to see him.

The ride was uneventful. After about 10 minutes of him staring out of the chariot into the wilderness, he finally arrived at his destination. The guards told him it was Canterlot, which in response he just laughed and murmured to him self. "Sounds like Camelot." After the guards escorted him to the palace, he quickly went inside and walked down a rather long hallway. One of the guards was still walking next to him. He suddenly came to a huge door and stopped at it.

"Guessing this is where the Princess is at right?" The guard pony just nodded as his horn started to glow. As it did, the doors opened.

"More magic I guess." David thought as he walked inside to find a massive room with a throne right at the other side. On the throne was the biggest pony he'd seen yet. It was white in colour and had a multicoloured mane what seemed to move by its self. After a few seconds of him staring at the pony, it noticed him and smiled warmly at him.

"Ah. So you are the creature Twilight told me about. Please, do come in." And so he complied and walked towards her. She got off of her throne and went so close to him that he was about to ask "what the fuck are you doing?". As he was going to, she started to talk again.

"You look...quite unusual and fascinating. Tell me, how did you get here?"

David just shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't really remember what happened before I woke up in a weird ass forest." Celestia didn't like his language but she decided to let it slip.

"You mean the Everfree forest?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I think that's what it's called." He noticed that the pony had put a hoof to her chin as Twilight did earlier.

"Hmm. How very strange. Oh my, where are my manners. My name is Princess Celestia. And yours?"

"David."

"What a strange name. Anyway, I am afraid I can't help you with understanding why you woke up in the Everfree forest as I don't know my self, which is very rare. But, I can answer any questions you may have regarding as to what I am, what I do or what my ponies do."

David was a bit annoyed at how she couldn't help him with that issue, but he decided to forget it as he didn't want to cause a shit storm with a supposed goddess. "Oh yeah, that reminded me, Twilight said you could raise the sun and you're a goddess or some shit?"

She let out an annoyed sigh. "Please don't use language like that near me. And yes, I can and I am."

He didn't believe her, but he really couldn't give a damn. He had his weapon with him just in case she got a bit too bitchy with him. He noticed she was staring at said weapon.

"What is that object you're holding?"

He raised it so she could see better. "It's called a gun and it fires out a metal bullet made out of lead which travels that fast that it breaks bone, muscle, tissue, etc." He felt stupid that he had to keep explaining what a gun is, but he guessed he'd have to get used to it if he couldn't get back home. "No, don't think like that! I'll get home. I have to..."

Celestia gasped at walked towards him again. "Why would you use something that violent?"

"I was in the middle of a war."

"Oh...well, that still sounds excessively violent. I must insist that you leave it her with me so I can trust that you won't cause any harm to my subjects."

David shot her an angry glare and held his weapon tight, backing off as he did so. "No fucking way are you taking my gun. I'm sorry, but it stays with me." Celestia was fuming at this point. Nopony had ever talking to her in that way before.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

David didn't move, nor flinch, nor do anything. He just glared at Celestia as she did him until after what seemed like an eternity, she sighed again.

"Fine. You may keep it with you. But know this, if you EVER hurt my ponies with that thing or in any other way, I WILL punish you accordingly. I should punish you for talking to me in that manner, but, I am a fair princess. Do you understand?"

He was about to say fuck off, but he thought otherwise. He was stressed enough as it was. Instead, he just held his hand out and shook Celestia's hoof.

"You got a deal tuts."